To Be Immortal

by RushingAutumnLeaves

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Sad, Romance, Shining Armor
Length: 4135

Princess Cadence realizes the truth behind 'immortality is both a blessing and a curse'

When Cadence overhears Princess Celestia talking to Twilight Sparkle about the 'gift' of immortality, she realizes she's been taking it for granted. Until recently, her feelings for mortal ponies had been average. Now, she realizes just what her aunt means when she says that immortality is a curse.

Published 2013-04-25 08:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-25 08:10:02 UTC

A Gift and a Curse

Cadence paused at the door of Celestia’s chambers, trying to listen to the conversation her Aunt was having with the newest Princess. She knew that eavesdropping was frowned upon, but the topic of the conversation interested Cadence.

“...a gift, but also a curse,” Celestia was saying. Cadence knew instantly that Twilight was getting the immortality speech. Cadence remembered Celestia giving her the same speech centuries ago. It seemed like just yesterday.

“I don’t understand,” Twilight said, her voice muffled by the thick wooden doors.

“You will live forever, unless, of course, you are killed,” Celestia explained. “You will grow, as most ponies do, but once you reach a certain age, you’ll remain frozen in appearance. You will never grow older. Like Luna, Cadence, and myself, you will become eternally young.”

“I don’t understand how that could be a curse,” Twilight replied. “Why wouldn’t anypony want to live forever?” Cadence had asked herself the same question, but she hadn’t dared spoken it to Celestia.

“Young Twilight Sparkle, you will be burdened with watching your friends and family grow older every day. You will be forced to watch as your mortal friends and family take on the signs of old age while you remain young. You will be forced to watch as your friends lose their youth slowly, until their souls no longer able to survive in their frail bodies and perish. Twilight, you will have to watch your friends and family die. There will be nothing you can do to help.”

Cadence stopped listening. She had never really put much thought into the fact that Twilight had mortal friends. Cadence remembered that, to become an alicorn, she had mastered and understood Love in its entirety. That had required using her talents to reform a villain. After that, Cadence had been taken by Celestia, zapped with some sort of powerful magic, and a horn had appeared on her head. She hadn’t seen any of the ponies that had raised her since that day, so she hadn’t really thought about how they were all gone now.

Instantly, thoughts of Shining Armor flashed through Cadence’s mind. He was a mortal unicorn. He would die, and she would live forever. The princess nearly fell to the ground. In her few years of immortality (yes, she considered them few), she had never thought that she would lose somepony close to her. Luna and Celestia were immortal as well, and, until recently, they had been the only ponies Cadence cared for. The princess, unable to remain standing by the door, concentrated hard on her bedroom back at the Crystal Empire.

Once safe in her room, Cadence found a scroll and a quill in her organized desk drawer. Without hesitation, she began a letter to her Aunt:

Dear Princess Celestia,

As of late, I have been thinking about our lives. I am aware that, by royal standards, I am very young. However, by mortal standards, I would be nearly three hundred and twenty four. My husband and I have been able to overlook the fact that I am, technically, three hundred years older than he is, even though I am frozen at the age of twenty three. Recently, Shining Armor and I have celebrated our one year anniversary. Shining Armor also turned twenty four. It really wouldn’t be an issue as Shining would be only a year older than I had I been mortal, but he became another year older. I remain the same.

Shining Armor is able to ignore the fact that, on top of the unicorn magic, I am capable of flying and working as hard as any Earth pony. He doesn’t mind that I hold the most important qualities of each pony kind. Despite my extra...gifts, he loves me more and more each day.

We are willing to overlook the age gap and the species differences. However, I do not write to tell you about our continued love for each other. I write to request something that only you can grant. Three hundred years ago, you told me that immortality was a curse. At the time, I didn’t understand what you meant. Why wouldn’t anypony want to live forever? Now, however, I realize your meaning. At the time, I had been removed from my old home. I cared only for you and Luna, two other immortals. It never crossed my mind that my old friends and family grew old and died.

Now, I have a husband that I love beyond words. He is a unicorn. A mortal pony. In time, he will age. I will remain young. He will fall prey to time, and eventually, he will die. I will be left alone, to mourn the loss of Shining Armor forever. Twilight Sparkle will also feel the loss when he passes. She would be forced to eternally remember her big brother after he is gone.

I ask you, Princess Celestia, if there was any possibility that my husband could also be given the gift of immortality. I understand that there are risks, but he would be able to live with his wife and sister forever. He would have to watch as his parents died, but he would never have to lose the rest of his family. Twilight will have to suffer the loss of five wonderful friends and two caring parents. She should not have to lose a brother as wonderful as Shining Armor.

Your Niece,

Princess Cadence

~XoXo~

Cadence paced back and forth in front of Celestia’s study. The princess’s letter had said they had to talk face to face. The younger princess was trying to gather the courage to go inside when the doors swung open.

“Cadence, come in please.” It wasn’t an invitation. It was a command. Cadence swallowed and entered her Aunt’s study. Celestia was lying on a large velvet cushion, a letter lying on the floor beside her.

“You wanted to see me?” Cadence asked. Her voice shook.

“I wanted to discuss the letter you sent me.” Celestia indicated the letter lying beside her. “You requested something...big, to say the least.” Cadence lowered her head.

“I know, but I wouldn’t be able to live without Shining Armor.”

“I will tell you what I told Twilight Sparkle. You will have to watch knowing there is nothing you can do to help. I am afraid that Shining Armor will grow old and die in his lifetime. There is no changing this.”

“There has to be,” Cadence protested. “There has to be something you can do! If Twilight can become an alicorn, then...”

“Twilight Sparkle possessed a deep understanding of friendship. That magic inside of her was what triggered her transformation. Each of the Equestrian princesses possess an understanding of a special magic, allowing the transformation from normal pony to alicorn. Shining Armor lacks that understanding.”

“Then teach him!” the princess begged.

“It is out of my control.” Celestia closed her eyes, the sign that Cadence was to leave. The younger alicorn, however, refused to leave it alone.

“So you’re just going to sit there and do nothing while he gets older and dies?” Cadence knew she was out of line. Nopony yelled at a princess. Even another princess didn’t yell at a princess. Especially if that princess was Celestia.

“Cadenza,” Celestia began, “if there was anything I could do, I would try. However, even my magical ability isn’t enough to-” The princess was cut off by Cadence leaving the room. She no longer cared what the older alicorn had to say. Celestia would say the same thing over and over: that there was no helping Shining Armor.

Wandering the vast emptiness that took up Canterlot Castle, Cadence tried to clear her head. She had known that, eventually, she would have to lose somepony she cared about. She had known that she would grow close to a mortal pony one day. She just hadn’t thought that it would have been her husband.

~XoXo~

Cadence kneeled down beside her bed and touched her head to Shining Armor. The events of the past few years had been stressful to say the least, but Cadence had taken the time to come to terms with what had to happen. Her husband shifted in his sleep and Cadence smiled.

“You awake, sleepy head?” she teased. Shining Armor blinked his eyes open and turned to face his wife.

“I am now,” the stallion grumbled.

“Come on now,” Cadence said softly. “The prince of Equestria shouldn’t be lazy.”

“I’m not lazy,” Shining Armor poked a hoof against his wife’s side. “Somepony kept me up all night.” Cadence blushed and nuzzled her husband.

“It’s still time to wake up, regardless of your activities last night.”

“Alright, I’m up.” Shining Armor rolled out of bed, stretching until his back popped. Cadence tried not to notice that age was starting to take its toll on Shining Armor. His once blue mane was now grey. He took a little more time to straighten up. He didn’t move as quickly as he used to. Cadence had to hold herself back so she didn’t help him with little things around home.

“Are you ready?” Cadence asked. Shining Armor nodded and used his magic to put on his badge sash. Together, the royal couple walked to their balcony. Cadence pushed the doors open and the two stepped outside where the crystal ponies let out a cheer. They had arranged themselves so they spelled out ‘happy anniversary’. It was an old gesture, repeated year after year, but it brought a smile to Cadence’s face just the same.

The royal couple waved to their subjects, thanking them for the wonderful gift. Cadence looked to her husband, her smile fading when she saw the pained expression in his eyes. His knees were wobbling and he looked as though he would collapse any second.

“Thank you all for this display, but there is something my husband and I must tend to inside,” Cadence lied. She waved to their subjects and ushered her aging husband inside.

“Thank you,” Shining Armor sighed.

“Are you alright, love?” Cadence’s horn lit up, ready to cast whatever healing spell Shining Armor needed, but he shook his head.

“I just need to rest.” The stallion collapsed into bed and began snoring. Cadence bit her lower lip. She had hoped he’d gotten past his exhaustion. Now it seemed to be getting worse. Without hesitation, she sent a letter to Twilight.

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

The moment we feared may be sooner than we thought. Just yesterday, Shining Armor seemed full of energy. Today, he could barely greet the crystal ponies before he grew exhausted and needed to return to bed. I know that you are enjoying the time you have with your friends, but if you could spare a trip to The Crystal Empire, I’m sure your brother would appreciate getting to see you.

Yours Truly,

Cadence

The alicorn signed off the letter with a small ladybug drawing before sending it away in a flash of pink. Shining Armor snored loudly and Cadence stood by his side, afraid to even blink.

Each second that passed by was another second that Shining Armor grew weaker. Twice he woke, asking for water. Each time, he drank, thanked Cadence, and fell back asleep. When Luna started to raise the moon, Twilight burst through the door.

“Twilight.” Cadence’s tone told the youngest alicorn princess that there was no time for their usual hoof-shake. “He’s been asleep all day.”

“BBBFF?” Twilight asked softly as she approached her brother. “It’s me, Twilight.” Shining Armor didn’t stir. His chest lowered and fell slowly.

“Shining Armor, your sister is here to see you. She wants to-” Cadence stopped. To speak the thought aloud was to make it official.

“Can’t you cast a healing spell?” Twilight asked, looking to her old foalsitter. Cadence shook her head.

“I don’t know if it would be safe in his condition.”

“That’s what the first Nurse Redheart said when Granny Smith was dying. The unicorns couldn’t use healing spells, she was so sick.” Twilight looked so calm, but Cadence could tell that the young princess was torn apart.

“He won’t die,” Cadence promised. “He’ll be okay. He’s only been bedridden once this week.” Cadence didn’t mention that he had been bedridden most of the previous year.

The alicorns sat by Shining Armor’s side until Celestia’s sun was high in the sky. Exhausted, Cadence rest her head against her husband’s chest. His heart was beating slowly. Far too slowly to be healthy.

“Fetch Celestia,” Cadence commanded. Twilight nodded her head and soared out the balcony door. Cadence risked using a healing spell, covering her husband in a faint pink glow. For a moment, his mane looked blue. His heartbeat increased to a healthy rate. He seemed to glow with life. After that moment, however, his mane was grey again. His heartbeat slowed down. The life left him, leaving an aged stallion in bed.

Twilight returned with Celestia at about the time Cadence passed out from exhaustion. The princess of love tried to stay awake, but Celestia assured the young alicorn that she would do whatever she could to help Shining Armor.

~XoXo~

Cadence hated waking to an empty bed each morning, but she knew that Shining Armor was being treated by Princess Celestia’s hoof chosen Canterlot nurses, Nurse Redheart’s daughter, and a strange stallion that referred to himself as ‘The Doctor’ (though he came and went without informing anypony).

Weeks passed and Cadence found herself so worried about Shining Armor that she was halfway through a dandelion/daisy/lettuce/sugar sandwich before she realized how strange her choice in lunch was. She wanted to visit him, but the nurses advised her that it would be best if he didn’t have visitors.

Cadence was patrolling the empire when the letter came. She had no knowledge that it was sitting on her desk the entire time she was out talking to the crystal ponies. She continued her duties as usual and returned home late, exhausted. She almost didn’t see the letter sitting on her desk. Cadence hadn’t received a letter in a while, so, naturally, the sight of a letter with her Aunt’s mark on it sparked curiosity.

Dear Princess Cadence,

We regret to inform you that, at midday today, Prince Shining Armor left us. We did everything we could, but there was nopony around when he died. With his last efforts, he left you a note. The note is attached to this letter. We send you our deepest condolences.

The staff at Canterlot Medical Academy

Cadence lowered the first letter, and a rougher, smaller sheet fell to the desk in a spiral motion. Cadence, who didn’t see how the note could make her feel any worse, levitated the letter into her line of view.

Cadence,

We both know I’m dying and that nothing could change that. In fact, I’m probably dead as you’re reading this. I want you to know that, even though we’re in this situation, I’m not unhappy. I lived my life, and I lived it as the happiest stallion in the world. How many other stallions can say they had the most beautiful mare in the world as their wife? If you ask me, I lived the best life I could live. It seems unfair to want more.

I know you asked Celestia about making me immortal. I heard her and Twiley talking about it. Do I really mean so much to you? I know Luna takes some form of husband every now and again, but she never cares enough to make them immortal. If you wanted to make me immortal...

Clearly, that didn’t happen. I got old. I never sprouted wings. I’m probably dead right now for Celestia’s sake! The point is, I’m not gonna be around forever. You should see the letter I left for Twiley. I had to explain the whole immortality curse thing in her letter. I figured you understood it a little better than she did. Writing her a letter was hard. Writing this one is harder.

I love you, Cadence. I won’t stop loving you, even when I’m gone. I don’t know what happens to ponies when they die, but, whatever happens, I’ll always remember you. Wild Timberwolves couldn’t change that. The way Celestia was talking to Twilight, I’m positive that you’ll love me too. I may not be around, but I’ll be immortal. As long as I’m remembered, I’ll still be with you, Twiley, Celestia, and Luna.

I know this is going to be hard for you, but just know that I died happy. I died married to you. I died knowing you loved me more than you loved anypony in all of Equestria. I died happy, Cadence, and I couldn’t have asked for a better life.

Love eternal,

Shining Armor

Cadence wanted to cry, but tears wouldn’t come. It was as though her body had shut down. Her body shuddered, her mouth sobbed, but tears didn’t fall. Everything was clear, but nothing made sense. The alicorn fell into a sitting position and the letter fluttered to the floor by her hooves.

~XoXo~

The following week was a blur. Cadence managed to stay strong until they lowered her husband’s coffin into the ground. The tears finally fell and the three other princesses had to hold Cadence back so she wouldn’t throw herself after what was left of her husband. The princess’s grief could be heard all the way in Ponyville.
The day after the funeral, Cadence was called into Celestia’s chambers. She considered not visiting her Aunt, but there wasn’t anything Celestia could say that would make the situation any worse.

“Cadence, I understand how hard this must be for you,” Celestia began, “but you need to understand that this is nature’s course. Shining Armor was never meant to be immortal.” Cadence didn’t offer a reply. She hadn’t said a word to anypony since she received the letter. She had visited Twilight, but they had simply sat together, taking in the other’s silence.

“Cadence, you need to talk to somepony. It isn’t healthy to isolate yourself. Twilight Sparkle talks to her friends. You would do well to have an outlet.”

“I just miss him so much,” Cadence said softly. Her voice was hoarse from her silence, but Celestia understood. The princess put a wing around her niece's body, hugging her close. It was the most affection Cadence had seen from her adoptive aunt in a century.

“The only thing I can tell you is that life goes on, Cadence. You may not believe it, but life will move on as it always did.”

“I’d like to be alone, please.” Cadence didn’t wait for Celestia’s approval. She simply stretched her wings to get her Aunt to back away and left the study.

~XoXo~

Cadence stood behind Nurse Redheart, trying to read the notes the pony had scribbled. The hoof-writing was illegible to the princes and she grumbled in frustration.

“Princess, I have exciting news for you.” Cadence rolled her eyes. Plenty of ponies had delivered ‘exciting’ news. None of it had been amusing in the slightest. Nothing was exciting without Shining Armor.

“Let’s get this over with,” Cadence muttered. “I have things to do.” A lie of course. She had neglected her princess duties since losing her husband.

“Princess Cadence, let me be the first to congratulate you,” Nurse Redheart beamed. “You’re going to have a foal!”

“Pardon?” Cadence didn’t believe the news. The last time she had been in a position where she could have possibly gotten pregnant was when Shining Armor was still alive, and even then, he had been...well, old. Far too old to father a foal.

“You’re going to have a foal,” Nurse Redheart repeated. “You’re about a month in if my tests are correct.” The timing added up, but Cadence didn’t want to believe it. She and Shining Armor had talked about having a foal, but they had never thought it possible considering the major species difference.

“You’re sure about this?” Cadence demanded.

“Positive. I’ve seen plenty of expecting mares in my time here, if you count the internship with my mother, and I’d know a pregnant pony if I saw one.” The nurse gave Cadence a smile which the Princess returned reluctantly. Her foal would be a unicorn if she remembered pony genetics properly. The foal would be mortal. She would have to watch her foal grow and die. It would be Shining Armor all over again.

“Thank you, Nurse Redheart, but I must be going.”

“Alright, but remember, you’re responsible for two lives now!” Cadence concentrated on her room and, in a flash of pink, she vanished.

~XoXo~

“Princess, would you like to hold your daughter?”

“Of course.” Cadence held her hooves out and the nurse placed a small bundle in the princess’s grasp. Cadence looked down at the filly she was holding.

She was a unicorn, as Cadence had figured she would be. Her coat was a glossy light pink, but her mane was just like Shining Armor’s.

“She’s beautiful,” Twilight Sparkle said with a smile.

“What art thou going to call her?” Luna asked. The foal cooed and shifted in her mother’s hold before letting out a loud snore. The ponies in the room laughed and Cadence was reminded of how her husband had been a snorer.

“Shining Spirit,” Cadence nuzzled her daughter and the foal responded with another coo.

“May I hold her?” Twilight asked. She fluttered in the air, her hooves extended.

“Support her head,” Cadence said as she passed over her foal. Shining Spirit whined at being transferred, but once she was safe in Twilight’s arms, the foal smiled. Twilight smiled at her niece and nuzzled her, taking in the baby smell.

“She is beautiful,” Luna stroked the foal’s mane. “She looks like thee, Cadenza.”

“She looks like Shining Armor,” Twilight corrected, cuddling Shining Spirit.

“No,” Cadence looked to her sister-in-law. “She looks like you, Twilight.” It was true. The foal, while looking like both her parents, had a very Twilight Sparkle air about her. The filly cooed again and her horn sparked with light purple magic.

“Baby magic is powerful,” the nurse warned. “Be careful if she uses it.”

“I’ve got Twilight to help me,” Cadence looked to Twilight. “That is, if Twilight agrees to be Shining Spirit’s foalsitter.” Twilight nearly dropped Shining Spirit.

“You mean that?” she gasped, as Luna took over holding the foal.

“Of course I do. Maybe you could teach her that special hoof shake.” Twilight smiled and bowed her head.

“I would love to foalsit for Shining Spirit.”

“It is a shame my sister could not make it,” Luna said as she tickled Shining Spirit’s nose. “Thou would think the birthing of this filly would be important enough to postpone the sunrise.”

“Life goes on, no matter what happens. The world can’t stop for the birth of a foal.” Cadence surprised herself, but she knew it was true. Celestia herself had said so.

The only thing I can tell you is that life goes on, Cadence. You may not believe it, but life will move on as it always did.

Cadence took her foal back from Luna and placed a kiss on the filly’s head. Shining Spirit cooed softly and Cadence smiled her first genuine smile since Shining Armor had died. She feared that, one day, she would have to watch her daughter perish the way Shining Armor had, but that was a lifetime from now. Besides, her foal could very easily become the next princess of Equestria.

I may not be around, but I’ll be immortal.

Until now, Cadence hadn’t understood the meaning of that line. She had always assumed that Shining Armor would just remain a memory. Now, thinking of his line in the letter and Celestia’s comment about life, Cadence couldn’t help but wonder if Celestia and Shining Armor somehow knew of Shining Spirit before she did. Shining Armor would certainly live within his child, and then his grandchildren, and so on. Life would go on, and Shining Armor would be around.

Being immortal is both a blessing and a curse.

Cadence would have to suffer the loss of every mortal pony she loved, but she would be around to see her daughter have children. She would be around to see her grandchildren have children. She would even be around when her great-grandchildren had children. Cadence may have been forced to watch her family die, but she would be able to watch her family grow around her. The blessings of being immortal outweighed the curses.

“I love you, Shining Spirit,” Cadence whispered into her foal’s hair. “My beautiful little blessing.”

Author's Note

This took a bit longer to finish than I had expected, but it's finished now. Thanks to syvvak for the wonderful editing.