"And the winner of the "Thousand Years of Being a Queen" Raffle is..." Princess Celestia looks worried as she speaks of the winner. Who could it be to cause so much worry?
"Pinkamina Diane Pie!"
Yep, that would do it.
Time passes...
"It's been 14 days since Pinkie Pie has been queen and mass hysteria is breaking out!" The mare on the news says. "Duh, everyone who lives in Equestria knows that" You say to the T.V.
As said before, 14 days have been passed while Pinkie Pie was queen and there is reason to worry. Pinkie should never be given a horn and wings. NEVER. Other than the needy ponies who offer themselves to be the subject of the magic to put alfalfa on the table, there are ponies roaming the streets dressed in pastel-colored cupcake costumes to try to make people laugh, and since they are payed commission, well, let's just say every cupcake-costumed pony is armed. Yeah, pretty bad. You, however are one of Pinkie's close person friends and live in Ponyville in peace, well relative peace. Between the bloodcurdling screams outside and the stream of forced laughter coming from the residents of Ponyville, you never manage to get much sleep. You know Pinkie must be stopped, but how?
You spent days trying to find a place to escape all of the disaster going on in the streets, and your secret base ends up being your basement. Luckily, since you are Pinkie's personal sla- you mean friend, you can buy weapons all the time through the Black Market without getting arrested. There are only 3 ponies you know who could possibly cause enough chaos to dethrone Pinkie.
Their names are: Applebloom, Sweetie Bell, and Scootaloo.
Scootaloo: Speed Expert
Applebloom: Weapons Expert
Sweetie Bell: Distractions Expert
Seriously, those fillies can do anything.
You have them stay at your house where you have a sufficient supply of food, money, and weapons to overthrow the queen. You decide to start training your three little army soldiers. You have to see if they are as good with their expertise as you hope they are.
The fillies do wonderfully and each pass with flying colors. It turns out, they are pretty good at all part of war, which worries you, but you decide if they cause to much trouble you can just tell their mothers/big sisters.
You start in Ponyville and have to try not to be seen on the streets, in fact, nobody wants to be seen on the streets in broad day. Those cupcake ponies are pretty well-armed and don't have to bad aim after practicing for 14 days. The mission goes a stunning success and you only get seen once, but Scootaloo take care of him quickly with her newly-learned pile driver.
Anything for their cutie marks you suppose.
You are at the edge of Ponyville when you see the ponies who have guns and are specially trained to use them if anyone tries to sneak out of the border between Ponyville and Canterlot. Luckily, you have Applebloom on your side. She is absolutely superb at digging tunnels. That is the most obvious route after all. Even if you are close friends with Pinkie Pie, those guards have no feelings for anything that tries to cross the border. Seriously, you have seen them fry a bunny and a whole pack of hobo-ponies fight for a piece of it. Scootaloo obviously can't fly over the gate with all of you.
You successfully manage to avoid being fried by the guards and gallop into Canterlot. You reach Canterlot without incident and see it isn't faring any better than Ponyville is. A hobo asks for a piece of food and out of pity for the old stallion, you give him a generous portion of your bread.
He explains that he isn't actually a hobo, but a scientist experimenting the generosity of ponies in case of a catastrophe. He joins your party. He turns out to prove himself useful after a cupcake ponies sneaks up on you. He whips out a potion that turns the pony into a worm.
"He'll be okay later" the scientist explains.
You decide to take the high approach with the castle, for the scientist happens to have jetpacks. You go up one at a time and end up having to take out a pony who sees you flying up. You end up making it to the roof which you see is decorated the way Pinkie Pie would decorate something; with cupcakes. You end up taking her out after a very difficult battle where she uses her guards as missiles that she somehow manage to explode if they hit. You defeat her without taking one hit.
The game flashes "You Won" in big letters on the screen.
You enter your initials: PDP
"And that is the way you play 'Ruler of Equestria' my friends.
"Woah..." the CMC say witnessing how Pinkie Pie (you) end up winning the game with a perfect score
"That was awesome Pinkie" Scootaloo says, amazed "Can you do it again?"
"Not today Scoots!" you say happily, because you are very tired.
You wake up next morning and are bombarded with questions on how to get a perfect score on the game.
"It just comes naturally to me, for me to explain it to you would be like teaching how to learn Trigonometry while you still can't talk."
"What does that mean?" the ponies question, "What Trigonomy-whatever?"
"It means I don't feel like teaching you and you are all hopeless." you reply cheerily
That get everyone away from you. You decide to take up a new game. You use your amazing fourth wall powers to grab an Atari 2600 and a T.V. 'This should prove interesting" you think to yourself. You are entirely unaware of the 3 fillies looking in your window.
"Cutie Mark Crusaders, Vintage Video Game Players!"
"Um, Scootaloo, what does that mean?" Applebloom asks
"I have no Idea" the orange filly replies happily.
The End
