My New Life

"Oh. My. Gosh. That's Rainbow Dash. Like, that's actually Rainbow Dash," I muttered to myself, probably sounding like a total dumbass. But seriously, it was RAINBOW DASH I was talking about, so I was probably just a little shocked. She still hadn't noticed me yet, and I was wondering if I should show myself. If I showed myself to her, I'd probably fuck up and act like a total fool or I would scare the hell out of her since she's never seen a creature like me before. I just couldn't decide.

Suddenly, Rainbow Dash took off from the field. For one scary moment, I thought she was going to fly over to me and ask who I was or something but she simply soared into the sky again and began practicing these absolutely amazing tricks. I gasped in amazement. It was impossible for me not to- I had never seen anything so cool before.

I watched as Rainbow Dash flew around a particularly big cloud, nothing but a rainbow blur because she was so fast. She carved the cloud flat into something that looked like a giant white target board. It turned out that's exactly what it was. Dash flew into the air and shot down, right at the flat cloud. She hit it dead-center and went right through it, making the cloud dissipate into nothing in a rainbow-colored flash of light. I saw Rainbow do some kind of victory jump in midair and I'm assuming she shouted something too, but I was too far away to hear it. I was hoping Rainbow Dash would perform her legendary Sonic Rainboom, but apparently, she'd had enough for today. She flew back down and landed in the meadow again, no doubt to take a rest.

I sat down in the grass and watched her from a distance, and she still didn't notice me. I though of something I could do while thinking of the best way to approach her - getting the piece of metal out of my leg. I dragged myself behind a tree, grabbed the piece of metal, and pulled. "Ow!" I yelped. The metal shard didn't come out of my leg one centimeter, but my hand slipped off of it, and the sharp metal slashed my hand open. Blood poured out, dripping onto the grass. I was forcibly reminded of the broken, mutilated bodies and body parts of the passengers from the plane lying in that one field and my stomach gave a sickening lurch.

Don't think of that, I warned myself. I didn't want to get sick AGAIN.

I tried to be more careful getting that piece of metal out, but it wasn't easy. My good hand was bleeding and it hurt like hell. I tried wiggling the piece of steel out but that didn't work. I tried using my left hand to carefully pull it out but that didn't work either. That piece of metal was really stuck in there.

"Damn it all to hell," I muttered. How the hell was I supposed to get that thing out? I thought to myself.

I tried wiggling the piece of metal again but it didn't do anything except cause my leg to start bleeding even more. What was worse, my good hand was slashed and slick with blood so it would be completely useless for this now. I tried using my left hand again. I tried for about five minutes with no luck whatsoever. I was still trying to get the damn piece of metal out when I heard a gasp of surprise.

"WOAH! What in the HAY are you?"

"Mother of-!" I yelled in surprise at the sound of the voice, and the piece of metal I was trying to pull out nearly cut open my left hand, too. I looked up in surprise and there, hovering about four feet off the ground in front of me and staring at me like I was some kind of alien (which I guess I kinda was, I guess) was Rainbow Dash.

"R- Rainbow!" I said, clumsily getting to my feet, ignoring the pain in my leg and chest.

"How do you know my name?" Rainbow Dash demanded. "Are you some sort of spy? Who are you? WHAT are you?"

"Um..." I said.

"Why are you all bloody?" Rainbow asked, her voice changing from suspicious to concerned suddenly. "What happened to you?"

"Well..." I started.

"Oh!" Rainbow said. "I should take you to my friend, Fluttershy! I bet she knows what you are! And she knows how to take care of anything, maybe she could help you get better!"

"Fluttershy's here, too?" I said dumbly.

"Okay, I don't know how you seem to know our names, but that's kinda creepy," Rainbow said. "Anyways though, you should come back to Ponyville with me. You need to get patched up."

"I guess I do," I said dumbly. I was still in shock that I was actually talking to Rainbow Dash. Actually talking to my idol and hero. An idol that, until recently, I had believed to not be real.

"If you end up having to go to the hospital," Rainbow said, "you need to read the Daring Do books. They're awesome!"

"Yep," I said.

"Well, just follow me then, whatever you are. You look like you need a little help there."

"Wait," I said, finally getting hold of my thoughts and more or less pulling myself together. "How- how the hell are you real? I mean, I've seen you on TV before. I've seen ALL of you on TV before. But you're just from a TV show. How are you real?"

Rainbow Dash gave me an odd look.

"What's TV?" She asked. "And the more important question is, how the hay are YOU real? I've never seen anything like you before. Not just that, you can also speak our language. And why are you wearing clothes? Are you some kind of fashion freak or something? I have a friend named Rarity who wears stuff like you, but only for, like, parties and stuff."

"Well, um, it's kind of hard to explain," I said. "But I still don't get how YOU'RE real! You're from a TV show!"

Rainbow did a face-hoof in exasperation.

"Look, I don't even know what in Equestria this TV thing is."

"Well, from where I come from-"

"Hey, what's that in the grass?" Rainbow interrupted. "Is that something you brought with you?"

"What?" I asked. Wow, Rainbow Dash had the shortest attention span ever, but I guess since she had never seen anything like me before, she was just curious.

Rainbow flew over and grabbed something out of the grass near where I had been lying.

"What in Celestia's name is this thing?" she asked.

"My iPad!" I said in surprise. "I must have been touching it or something when I came here."

"What does it do?" Rainbow asked.

"It's like- for- music, and playing games-"

"What's this button do?" Rainbow asked, jabbing at the device. A second later, she gasped. "That's a picture of ME!"

"Yeah- I have you for my background, Dash."

Rainbow swiped her hoof over the screen. "Music," she must have read. "What's this?"

She tapped at the screen again, and the speakers, which were turned up, began playing Eminem's song, "The Real Slim Shady".

"Um... Look, Dash..." I said. "I don't think you want to listen to that one-"

Rainbow tapped the screen again, and "Happy?" by Mudvayne began playing.

Rainbow listened for a moment. "This is ok, I guess!"

"Rainbow..." I said. I took a step towards the pegasus and my injured leg nearly gave out. I stumbled and only barely managed to keep my balance.

Rainbow turned to me. "You have a good taste in music, whatever the hay you are."

"My name's Nick," I said. "I'm a human."

Rainbow Dash dropped the iPad in the grass. "A HUMAN? That is so AWESOME! I thought humans were only myths!"

I laughed a little, causing my chest to flare in pain. "We're real."

"You know who'll be really happy to see you?" Rainbow asked. "My friend Twilight Sparkle! I bet she knows about humans- she reads all the time about everything."

"Rainbow," I said, gasping a little with the effort of standing up, "could we please head back now? I really need help fast."

Rainbow Dash glanced at the shard of metal sticking out of my leg and the blood that covered my hand and lower half of my pants.

"Yeah, you're not looking so good, Nick. Let's get you back to Ponyville. I can't wait to show you to all my friends! I bet they can help."