SPIKE UNCHAINED

CHAPTER II, IT'S OKAY, I HAVE A WARRANT

At least a day has passed following Twilight and Spike's departure from the barren wasteland, known as the San Palomino desert. Twilight and Spike pull up into Ponyville. While going along the dirt roads, Spike looks up at all the ponies watching them from windows and balcony’s. They have their full attention giving a death glare at the incoming travelers. Nurse Redheart exits the Hospital with Screwloose, she is holding a prescription drug container.

“Now I want you to take two of these in the night, and in the morning...” Redheart cuts herself off after noticing the dragon. “That’s a dragon, and he’s riding along side with a Unicorn.”

Twilight notices all of the observers. More and more ponies start coming out.

“What’s eveypony starring at?” She asks Spike.

“I guess they’ve never seen a dragon riding with a pony before.” Spike answers.

Continuing on the dirt road, Twilight parks the cart in front of the local pub, the Berry Punch Saloon. Twilight shuffles around some papers and notes, then the two walk inside from the main entrance. It has no occupants outside of Twilight, Spike, and the bartender Berry Punch, as it isn’t opening time yet. Berry is trying to fix the ceiling fan.

“Hello bartender, two cups of cider for two weary travelers.” Twilight connotates to the oblivious mare.

“Sorry, it's still a bit early, we won’t be open for at least another hour.” Berry Punch replies while the rest of her attention is paid at the fan. “And by then we’ll be serving breakfast.”

She turns around and notices Spike. Her shock reaction causes her jump back which knocks her head into the fan. “Whoa whoa whoa, what the hell is he doing here?”

* * *

Berry Punch gaits out and yells “dragon”, followed by a short spawn series of “help”. Twilight runs out after her but doesn’t continue following her.

“Bartender! Make sure to get the Mayor, and not the Royal Guard.”

Twilight walks back into the Saloon. Berry Punch is heard yelling for the mayor. Twilight takes off her overcoat and her hat and puts then down on a table.

“Drinks up.” Twilight tells Spike.

Twilight and Spike sit down. Twilight rests her legs on the table. Using levitation magic, Twilight takes two cider mugs and overfills them both with delicious grade-A top-notch five-star blow-your-horseshoes-off one-of-a-kind cider. She moves them over to the table and plants them down on it. A small quantity spills out onto the table. Twilight starts taking big gulps.

“So, what are you exactly?” Spike asks the self-intoxicating mare.

Twilight stops drinking and looks Spike in the eyes.

“From observation, you could assume that I’m a show pony. But actually, I like to associate myself with the title of bounty-hunter.” Twilight lectures. “Do you know what a bounty-hunter is?”

Spike stares blank, and then shakes his head slowly.

“No.” He says.

“Well. You know how dragons are transaction figures for cash?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, a bounty-hunter is exactly like that. Except with corpses.”

The two drink. Spike takes small sips, as cider is new to him.

“Now when Equestria places a bounty on another pony’s head, I track that pony, I find that pony, I kill that pony, after I kill the pony I bring his body back to the corporate overlords, I then show his corpse to them to thus conclude that I have indeed killed this pony, at which point they pay me the bounty.” Twilight finishes.

“Now, what’s a bounty?” Spike asks.

Twilight doesn’t immediately respond because she’s trying to swallow more cider. She starts moving her hoof around in a spinning gesture.

“A reward.” She finally says.

“How much?”

“It varies. It depends on what they’ve done. The bigger crime they’ve done, the larger the bounty.” Twilight puts her legs onto the floor. “Which leads me to you, Spike. On one hoof, I despise help. On the other, I need it. So I’d like the two of us to enter on an agreement.” Twilight gets closer to Spike. “I’m looking for the Diamond Dogs.”

Spike moves closer.

“I’m at a disadvantage because, I’m afraid I haven’t the foggiest of what they look like. But you do. Do you?”

“I most certainly do.” Spike says monotonously.

“So, here’s our agreement. You travel with me.”

“Where we going?” Spike interrupts.

“I have no clue. But I hear at least two of them are up in Trottingham. We’re going to go around to every surrounding plantation in Trottingham until we find them. And when we do, you point them out. And I kill them. If you agree to do that, I’ll agree to give you your freedom.” Twilight goes deep into detail.

Meanwhile outside, ponyvillians are walking up to the Saloon along with the Mayor.

“You’ll get 25 bits per dog, which will mean 75 bits in total. And as expected, here comes the Mayor.” Twilight smirks then takes one final drink.

Spike gets up and backs up a little, but Twilight stays seated. The Mayor enters and looks at the two trouble makers.

“Okay you two. You’ve had your fun. Come on out.” Mayor Mare scoffs.

The Mayor exits the Pub and cuts through the exerting chatter from outside.

“All right everypony, calm down. These jokers will be gone soon, just go about your business.”

Twilight and Spike exit the Saloon and face the Mayor.

“Now why have the two of you entered our fair town just to cause trouble? Scarring all the good citizens? Have you got nothing better to do, then to come into Ponyville and show off your scaleback?” The Mayor speeches to Twilight.

Twilight slowly lost her smirky face during that statement and turned it into a frown. She gets close up to the Mayor and pulls the same silver pistol which she killed Harrison with, this time, she shoots the Mayor, but in the chest instead. Mayor Mare takes in the bullet, then falls over on her back. A select few of ponies scream.

“What in the hell did you just do to our Mayor‽” Shouts a light brilliant gamboge coated pony with a stetson from the crowd.

Twilight walks over by the Mayor’s side, standing in front of the entire town. She turns her back from them and then fires into the Mayor’s head. Lily Blossom faints, while everypony else runs away and screams except for Berry Punch. Who is still in shock that the Mayor got shot.

“Now, you can get the Royal Guard.” Twilight says with a smile.

Berry Punch books it, this time screaming for the guard. Twilight walks back into the Saloon. Spike stands there trying to get Twilight’s attention.

“Should we wait inside?” Twilight asks.

“Um, shouldn’t we just leave?” Spike says but with a freighted voice.

Twilight wraps her hoof around Spike and the two reenter the pub and settle back down.

* * *

Shining Armor is ambling up the gravel road with a company of Royal Guards who are trotting behind him.

“I want you to move that blackboard behind the Saloon, get six guards, with six rifles behind it.” Shining Armor commands.

“Yes sir!”

“And I want two guards, with two rifles up on that roof.”

“Right away sir.”

“Everypony’s barrel pointed at the entrance." Shining Armor pauses. "And somepony get poor Mayor Mare out of the damn road.”

Spike looks out the pub window, he notices guards and other ponies hiding on the rooftops and behind barrels. All of them armed with rifles pointed at the front door. Shining Armor is standing in front of the army.

“You in the Saloon! We’ve got over one hundred rifles pointed at every possible way out of the building. You’ve got only one way that you’ll get out of this quarrel alive. And that's if you and your dragon step outside right now with all of your weapons disarmed and your hoofs behind your head. If you can that is.” Shining Armor enforces.

“Is this the Captain of the Royal Guard I have the pleasure of addressing?” Twilight voice emits from inside the pub.

“Yes.” Shining Armor says promptly. “This is Captain Shining Armor of the Canterlot Royal Guard.”

“How wonderful. Just as you said, I have relieved myself of all weapons.” Twilight complies.

Twilight is inside assembling and doing a final check for all of her papers.

“And I am ready to go outside, with my hoofs raised above my head. And I trust you as the Captain of the Royal Guards, and use diplomacy, to not, have me shot down by you or your peers, before I have a fair trial.” Twilight gambles.

“You mean like you did the Mayor?” Shining Armor juxtaposes the gravity of Twilight being shot like the Mayor. “Shot down like a mule in the street.”

“YES, THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN.” Twilight canterlocks. “Do I have your word as a diplomat, to not have me shot down like a mule in the street?”

Shining Armor looks back at his affiliates. He notices a mule has taken offense. He looks back to the barn.

“Now, as much as everypony would enjoy to see that. Ain't nopony here is going to escape clean free away for his crimes with his life in a public execution.” Shining Armor slurs.

“Okay fair enough.” Twilight wittily says. “Here we come.”

Twilight walks over to Spike and wraps her hoof around him again.

“Everypony is a little tense out there because of their Mayor, but just let me do all the talking, and we’ll get to see through this.” Twilight whispers to Spike.

The two finally exit from the Saloon. Their two front hoofs/claws are raised above their heads. Spike has a piece of paper hanging out from his mouth.

“Are the two of you unarmed?” Shining Armor’s final question.

“Yes we most certainly are.” Twilight spits out. “Now, Shining Armor, may I address you and your colleges, and the entire town of Ponyville as to the incident that has just occurred not to long ago?”

Shining Armor thinks for a moment. Then concurs with Twilight's decision.

“We're all ears.”

“My name is Twilight Sparkle, and this is Spike. Now the pony lying dead in the dirt, who the good ponies of Ponyville saw fit to elect as their Mayor, who went by the name of Mayor Stubbs, was as actually a wanted outlaw whose real name is Mayor Mare. With a bounty of 200 bits. And that 200 bits is for dead or alive.” Twilight projects to the townsponies.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Shining Armor demands answers.

“Now, I'm willing to bet that Mayor Mare was elected sometime around 15 years ago?" Twilight gambles.

And Shining Armor says "That's right."

"Just saying. Now, she was a wanted criminal, for murder, and the robbery of the Pine City stage." Twilight informs. "In this dragon’s mouth, contains a warrant for the arrest, dead or alive, of Mayor Mare. It was issued by the Alicron, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza of The Crystal Empire. You’re more than welcome to write to her. She’ll back up who I am, and who our recently parting Mayor was.” Twilight says to reinforce her case.

Every Royal Guard starts uncocking their rifles. Twilight then lowers her hoofs, and wipes her hair back a bit. Spike then lowers his hands. Every other pony is just standing around dumbstruck as to what just happened.

“In other words Captain, you owe me 200 bits.” Twilight smiles.

Author's Note

I had one of my friends come up with a ethnic slur for dragons, he came up with "scaleback".

Berry Punch was originally Applejack, and the Saloon was originally Sweet Apple Acres. It made more sense to be Berry Punch because of her fandom personality of drinking. I'm not sure if it was the best idea, because Sweet Apple Acres runs the cider business.

Royal Guards now act as Marshals.