Derp.

by DoodleSketch

Rating: mature
Tags: Dark, Sad, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dinky Hooves, Carrot Top, Derpy Hooves
Length: 3318

Tired of everypony's constant teasing Ditzy Doo decides to take her "Derping" into her own hooves.

Tired of everypony's constant teasing Ditzy Doo decides to take her "Derping" into her own hooves.

Published 2013-04-28 09:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-28 09:00:02 UTC

"Derpy" Is Born

Things had started out so innocent at first. The classroom was in its usual uproar before the morning bell, the teacher, trying in vain to coax the little fillies and colts into silence. Finally giving up she deadpanned, “Class we have a new student.” She was shocked to see every single eye turn directly towards her and a wave of silence ripple through the classroom. Clearing her throat and regaining some composure she began, “ I would like to introduce a new student, she has moved here from CloudsDale and I would like you to all be nice to her!” Finishing her speech the teacher then called out, “You can come in now!”

The door remained closed. “Ahem, I said, you may come in now!” She called out again. A quiet “Oh!” sounded behind the door, and after a little bit of effort, the door swung open. A small gray Pegasus with soft blond hair floated clumsily in, bumping into the door frame a little before shakily landing on the floor. The teacher silenced the giggles at the clumsy mare with a stern look and smiled quickly down at the small filly before turning back to the class.

“Now, please introduce yourself to the classroom dearest.” The Pegasus hid quietly behind her mane, shying backwards. The teacher pushed her forwards with a hoof and whispered, “Go on dear, say your name.” She offered a small smile that grew when she saw a small smile form back through the blond hair. The shy filly walked forward a little, tripping on her feet a tad, and then stopped at the front of the room.

“I- uhm…. I’m…” the teacher sighed a little, “Dear, you have to get your hair out of your face so we can see and hear you clearly.” Taking a deep breath of air, the gray filly shakily wiped the hair from her eyes, keeping them closed, thankful that the teacher was behind her and couldn’t see. “I’m….” Taking a final breath she opened her eyes. “I’m Ditzy Doo.” The laughter rang out imediatley from every corner of the classroom.

“ LOOK AT HER EYES!” some yelled. “What the hay is wrong with her?” others asked. The teacher yelled to the students, begging them to calm down. She walked forwards wrapping a protective leg around the shaking filly, but when she looked down, two crossed eyes met her gaze, and she too, burst out laughing. Ditzy backed up, but the laughter was everywhere she turned.

She shook like a leaf, tears brimming and prickling hotly at her crossed eyes. Then, IT happened, "SHE'S DERPY!" the unknown voice was soon joined by others. "DERPY HOOVES, DERPY HOOVES!" They chanted cruely. No one saw Ditzy run out crying.

A Bubble Can Pop

Although the rest of her school years were Hell too, Ditzy managed to ignore the teases and taunts. Eventually graduation came around, and she had found a decent job at the post office as a mail mare. Her daughter Ditzy was doing good as well, her father having left her out of shame and ironically dying of a heart attack a few years later. So yeah, life was okay, livable at least. She had also found that if she stayed out of the other pony’s way and keep to herself, not “derping” up so much, then nopony would really make fun of her.

They’d still look at her funny, and snicker behind her back. Her years of torment in school had hardened her though, and she ignored them and went on her way. She said her life was livable, not perfect. The mail mare trotted into town with these thoughts, oblivious to the trouble she’d cause later. Today was the day that the town would unveil its tribute to the princesses.

She didn’t know what it was, and was planning to stay out of everypony’s way and come later to see it when the ceremony was over. But Dinky was in school and she figured since it was her day off work she may as well. After all, what could go wrong? She walked up into town and immediately saw a huge crowd gathered around Town Hall. She looked up and sure enough, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna were both standing regally above the adoring crowd on the balcony of the Town Hall, waving grandly to the exited pony populace below.

The mayor climbed on to the stage set below the balcony and trotted excitedly over to the podium, waving as well. Ditzy quietly made her way through the ponies, blending in the background as she often did during big events. She tried to hear what the mayor was saying but couldn’t over the sound of other ponies in front of her. A cheerful bouncy pink pony in front of her was going on and on about, “Rainbow Cupcakes” talking about how they were, “TO DIE FOR!!!” And was quickly, and thankfully shushed by a purple unicorn and a gentle yellow Pegasus.

An orange pony with a blond mane drawled out in a thick country accent about trying to put apples in her cupcakes, and for a moment Ditzy could’ve sworn she saw a dangerous glint in the pink pony’s eyes and heard a double meaning in her happy voice when she agreed and said she’d get “right on it, Applejack….” She dismissed it when a dramatic voice came from the dazzlingly beautiful white mare also in front of her as she flipped her expertly styled mane over her shoulders and exclaimed, “Oh do be quiet now dears, its starting!” Ditzy strained to see past the mass of ponies, but just couldn’t. She knew Dinky would get out of school soon, and she really didn’t want to leave her alone, but she wanted to see the tribute too. She decided to sneak behind the curtain that the mayor was gesturing to, see the tribute, and leave.

Ditzy was able to fly out of sight and behind the curtain in the uproar of the crowd. The gray Pegasus took a moment to smile at her cunning, just to loose all the breath in her lungs as she stared slack-jawed at the sight before her. It was a statue, but not just any statue. No, it was the perfect statue. It was the princesses, standing side by side.

Luna raising the moon, and Celestia the sun. Their features were carved in crystal and marble, perfectly molded together and carved with the expertise of a god. It was the most beautiful thing Ditzy had ever seen, she just faintly heard the mayor say, “OPEN THE CURTAIN!” Ditzy panicked, if they saw her back here she would be in SO much trouble! She backed up, getting ready to take off, but she bumped hard into the statue instead, her eyesight having thrown her off.

The Pegasus could do nothing but stare in pure horror as the curtain fell open and revealed her and the falling statue to a crowd of horrified ponies. The mayor wailed and ran out of the way, narrowly missing the crumbling statue. And as it fell, both princesses’ heads snapped off, flying ironically up and onto the balcony, right in front of the shocked princesses. Ditzy didn’t wait to see the reaction, she did what she did best in these situations, she ran.

Fixing It

Day had long since passed and the enraged pony folk, after having a thorough search for the “Tribute Wrecker”, had finally gone home. The streets were bare and Luna’s moon shone extra bright that night serving as a searchlight of sorts. A lone mare by the name of Lilith wandered the streets of the market, heading home after a long day of flower sales. The mare had gentle leaf green eyes, with a soft lilac colored coat and magenta hair with light pink stripes running through it, As she made her commute home a small stifled yawn broke its way through her body and out her mouth and she stopped and politely covered it with a hoof and resumed walking. It might have been her imagination, but she could’ve sworn she’d seen somepony duck into an alley way during her small yawn. Taking a closer look but seeing nothing much she decidedly brushed it off as simply being tired and blinked sleepily.

Although she had dismissed it, Lilith decided to go down a different alleyway to get home. She continued on her way peacefully, lulled into a sense of false security. A sudden crash resounded from behind her and she spun around her heart leaping into her throat as she looked up and saw a figure hovering in the air above her, the apparently female pony indistinguishable from the moon making her nothing more but a silhouette, hovered silently. Lilith couldn’t see the mare, just her blackened silhouette, but somehow she new that the mysterious figure was staring directly at her, locking a gaze with her. “W-who are you?” She called out, fear making her voice a tad scratchy.

The shadowy figure stayed silent but landed quietly in front of her, Lilith could now see who it was. “H-hey…”, she started, “Hey wait a sec, you’re the crazy chick who destroyed the tribute to the princesses!” Ditzy remained silent, but she moved a step closer. Lilith was growing a little more frightened each passing heartbeat, and the silent Pegasus before her was still looking directly into her eyes, never blinking. “W-What do y-you want?” She shakily stammered out, taking a compensating step back as the Pegasus took yet another step towards her, they were almost face to face now. Unable to stand it any longer Lilith cried out hysterically, “WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!” A stifled sob caught in her throat as she looked on in horror at the mare before her, she was directly in front of her now. Ditzy’s lovably “derped” eyes now had an almost horrifically blank ambiance about them, and had turned into bloodshot pinpricks. Lilith somehow knew deep down that there was no escape and found that she couldn’t even move or break the stare the deranged Pegasus was holding with her. In the last moment of Lilith’s life she saw the Pegasus’s eyes go from being derped to a completely focused and horrifying stare. She asked one more time, surprisingly clear and unshaken this time, as though her very being knew it was going to die and had for the most part accepted it. “What are you looking at?” Ditzy didn’t even twitch, instead she slowly leaned in and her mouth opened in sync with the movement, and in what anypony else would’ve though was a raspy sigh Lilith heard one last thing before she died… “You have beautiful eyes….”

A New Point of View

A few months had passed by, and hearing nothing from Ditzy, her grandmother had decided it was safe enough to send little Dinky home. Said filly had just gotten off the train and was walking through the town. She couldn’t help but notice that there were “Missing Pony” posters everywhere with some mare named “Lilith” featured on them. She decided she’d ask her mom about it later and continued to head home. She was shocked to see that everypony refused to look at her directly and almost looked scared of her when she passed by. Feeling a little intimidated and hurt, she hurried away and was relieved to see her home not far away. Little Dinky finally reached her home and knocked calling out, “MOM!” The door and house remained silent. A confused Dinky tried the knob just for the door to swing wide open at the slightest touch, as though it had never been properly closed in the first place.

Dinky made her way into the house and found it completely dark inside. She called out once more, “Mom? I’m home!” She heard a faint voice coming from her mother’s room upstairs, “Dinky baby? I-is it really you this time?” A little confused, Dinky hesitantly called up, “Y-yeah mom, who else would it be?” Getting no response she slowly made her way upstairs in the direction of her mother’s shaky voice. Reaching the top she was a little frightened to see that the hall leading to her mom’s room was pitch black compared to the rest of the house. Her only comfort as she made her way down the hall was the fact that she could see a faint light under her mother’s door. Dinky stopped just before entering and in a surprisingly shaky voice she said, “M-mommy? A-are y-you in there?” A little giggle sounded from the other side and Dinky shivered when she heard the bitter chill of madness that laced it. She heard her mother stop all of a sudden and she was just about to ask again when her mother suddenly said in a chipper voice clear of any insane undertones, “Yes baby I’m in here, come here honey, don’t be afraid….” Dinky trusted and loved her mother and so she opened the door and stepped in brightly calling, “Mommy I missed you!”

Her mother was facing away from her looking into the mirror less frame on her dresser table. Dinky looked shocked around the room taking the sight and smells around her. The rest of the house was perfectly untouched, like she had only left yesterday, but the inside of her mother’s room was another story. Wallpaper was peeling off of the walls, various stains of decaying and indistinguishable origins splattered the walls, every mirror was smashed out and the windows were boarded up and had claw marks around them. The room also smelled of death and decay, and Dinky was shocked to see her mother in the middle of it all, but still facing away from her. “Mom?!”

She cried out in horror as her mother turned around to face her. What was once her kind, sweet mother was apparently replaced with a horrific monster. Her mane, once soft and blond, was now unkempt and matted with what looked like blood, her hooves were cracked and caked with various bits of blood and other unidentified pieces of matter from the destruction she’d caused, her coat was also filthy and stained, even torn and cut in some places, bare scarred skin showing through. The thing that called itself her mother also had its wings, now just literal bone with feathers stripped off, and what little remained clinging pathetically to sinews and bloodied strings of nerves twitching and dripping on her bony back.

Though all of these horrific sights were no match to her mother’s eyes, or, should she say, eye. Her mothers happy lively yellow eye looked at her, and next to it, instead of the adorably “derped” match, was a blank green eye crudely stitched into her eye socket. Blood soaked the area around the new eye, it was horrifically obvious that the old one had been forcefully gouged out and in its place the new one crammed in and sewn into place. Dinky felt like throwing up but found all she could manage was a choked scream. Her mother only smiled and said quietly, contorting face into an insane grin as “both” eyes looked directly into hers, “Hey….. Ditzy…” She took a step towards her daughter and twisted her new eye into her once familiar look and whispered insanely, “Derp.”

The Cutie Mark

The next few weeks were torture for poor Ditzy, and more often then not she’d find herself locked in one of the un-used, nasty bathrooms, crying her little heart out. This bathroom is where she was now, crying. Why am I different? I never chose to be this way… She felt the tears come again, harder this time.

She sobbed openly, knowing no one could hear her in here. This was her only peaceful place anymore. She stood shakily to her feet and made her way to the sink. Turning on the water and enjoying the white noise for a second she splashed some water on her face, the cold water a welcome to her flushed face. She let the sink run, watching the water swirl down the drain.

I wish I could just disappear down the drain too. She looked up slowly at her reflection and grimaced at what she saw, a tired pair of “Derped” eyes as she had learned to call them, stared listlessly back at her, tears falling from both. She found herself thinking more depressing thoughts, you can never be like them, you're too different, clumsy...She hadn’t realized that she had started smashing the mirror into bits until she found herself panting at the shards of glass around her feet. She stared into the last shard and thought bitterly, too "derpy!"

Her vision slid into a straight stare for a moment as she lifted her hoof and with a guttural cry smashed the last shard to bits. She looked at the mess around her and stepped over to the sink again, the glass making a satisfying crunching noise beneath her hooves. She put her hooves under the sink, enjoying the burn of the soap and water. She went to get more soap, but the dispenser wouldn’t budge. This wasn’t exactly the best way for anything alive or not to respond to the emotionally exhausted Pegasus, and she found her hoof smashed into the dispenser moments later.

Soap and a little bit of blood mixed together making little bloody bubbles that floated around and captured the filly’s attention instantly. She felt a smile, the first in weeks, tug at the corners of her mouth as she watched them float around her and pop. Ditzy felt a tingle on her flank, and glancing down she couldn’t help but burst out laughing and smiling happily. A string of iridescent bubbles covered her flank. And in the first time in a few weeks, she felt truly happy.

I Just Don't Know What Went Wrong

A melancholy Pegasus stared out of the window of her home’s attic. She had sent Dinky immediately to her grandmother’s for a few months while she waited for the heat to cool down. She looked over to her mail bag, she wouldn’t need it anymore. Her boss had been in the crowd, and lets just say, its not really good for business when one of your carriers just publicly chopped off the heads of the two ponies who ruled the land. She went back to staring dejectedly out the window, watching the heavy storm that poured through the land.

The pegasi on the weather team had made a storm pick up to wash away the debris, and to commemorate the day that one of the greatest fuck-ups had occurred. She let her head fall against the dusty cool glass, feeling the vibrations of the rain on the window massage vainly at her growing headache. I am such a bucking “derp” up. She let a choked sob out, the tears falling before she knew what was happening. She looked into the window, and her displaced eyes “stared” back.

I hate you.... I HATE YOU!She smashed her hooves into the window repeatedly, and even when the window lay shattered at her feet she still ripped at the window, clawing at the wall and frame around it, cutting deeply into her skin. The temporarily insane mare panted heavily as she caught her reflection in one of the shards at her feet. She was reminded of that day in the bathroom, and she suddenly got an idea as she looked at her “derped” eyes. Smiling insanely she looked into her reflection, raising her hoof slowly above her head to deliver the last blow as her wicked plan finally fell into place in her now broken mind.

I just don't know what went wrong, but I know how to fix it...