Assassin's Pie

by Rainbow2Dash

Rating: everyone
Tags: Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Rarity, Other, Pinkie Pie, Random, Crossover, Alternate Universe
Length: 6342

ALL HAY JUST BROKE LOOSE! Pinkie Pie lost her pie, and dashed to Investigatore Dash to crack the case!

Experience a new kind of Ponyville; 15th Century Itallionia! Follow Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash as they try to get to the bottom of a mysterious gang.
Every saturday morning: on the hub!

I have Nug TWH and Grant(username unknown) helping me with this story.

The cover picture is mine that I originally made.

Published 2012-02-08 11:44:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-03-22 03:09:38 UTC

Chapter 1: A Stranger's Visit

Assassin's Pie

Chapter 1: A Stranger’s Visit

The tales you have heard about Itallionia are not all there is to know. You may have heard about the rich culture, the groundbreaking architecture, or the revolutionary political ideas to have been produced by this country. But any Itallion will tell you that their true landmark is the Sweets and Pies bakery - best known for its trademark deep fried chimicherry pies, among other traditional Itallion delicacies.

In the bakery, Pinkie Pie scrambles about her kitchen every day to fill orders as fast as her hooves can work. Her bakery is always stuffed full with eager customers who crave her delicious cakes and pies. Despite the number of customers she serves each day, she always makes each customer feel special. To put a smile on her customers faces, she puts a bow on each of their orders and shouts something cheerful as they pick up their sweets, like: “Have a super sweet day!”

But one day, the bakery had an unusual customer. On this morning, an unusual customer swung open the bakery door and stalked in. Everybody was struck silent by the arrival of the unfamiliar and dangerous looking stranger. It was a mangy, scarred Hyena, whose fur was scruffy and caked with dirt. He had savage eyes which darted suspiciously at all of the startled patrons. The smell emitting off of him caused Pinkie’s customers to retch with disgust; it was the rancid smell of someone who had evidently been digging in the trash for most of his life. He was wearing a tattered turquoise tunic with a pair of baggy patchwork canvas pants which were held up only by a tightly knotted red sash around his waist. The Hyena slithered along the counter, browsing her tasty sweets with a hungry expression.

Apparently indifferent to her new customer’s bizarre appearance, Pinkie Pie gleefully introduced herself. “Hiya! I’m Pinkie Pie, and this is my super yummy one-of-a-kind bakery! How can I satisfy your sweet tooth today?” The hyena stopped moving immediately and glared at Pinkie Pie. “Would you like to try one of our ultra famous chimicherry pies?” Pinkie continued after he didn’t respond. After a moment, he spoke.

“I ask nothing of you,” the hyena said with a wary and skeptical expression at the rambling pony. “I am merely browsing your wares.”

“Okie-dokie-loki!” quipped Pinkie Pie, leaving the hyena to do as he pleased as she went to tend to another customer’s order.

But only a moment after speaking to her, the hyena swiftly departed without speaking to anyone or purchasing anything. Pinkie’s customers let out a collective sigh of relief to see the stranger gone and began to chatter as usual. All seemed normal - but this wasn’t the last the bakery saw of that mysterious visitor.

Late that night, when the bakery had been closed, Pinkie pie carefully checked her inventory to prepare herself for another busy day. But to her surprise, there was a pie missing - one of her famous chimicherry pies, no less. She always keep track of the pies that she made and she kept records of how many she sold; she knew there was definitely something wrong here. She double checked and then triple checked. Surely, there was no doubt that a pie had gone missing. But she shrugged it off.

“It’s no biggie. I can make another one right now,” Pinkie said, not allowing the mysterious disappearance to bother her cheery mood as she opened up a few of her cupboards and began to gather ingredients to replace the missing pie. Pinkie Pie lit the fire in the stone oven and tendered it with more coals. After that, she grabbed two pounds of fresh cherries, mashed them up, strained out the pits and stems, and scooped the cherry paste into an ice box so that it is kept fresh. Afterwards, she kneaded the dough to put into the pie pan. With the pan finally prepared, she took the mashed cherries out of the ice box and dabbed them into the pan, along with her secret blend of delicious spices. After arranging strips of dough on top of the pie, she gingerly placed the pie in the oven, grabbed her hourglass, and flipped it upside down.

Once the final speck of sand passed towards the bottom of the hourglass, Pinkie Pie put on her oven mitts and grabbed the fresh pie out of the oven. Finally finished, she set it on her windowsill to cool in the crisp night. No matter how many times she prepared this dish the scent was always captivating. It caused the nearby strays to begin howling with hunger. The pink pony let out a contented sigh for she had replaced her missing pie in good time.

She only turned her back for a second when something terrible happened. Her knees jittered, her ears flopped, and her spine writhed uncontrollably for a second while her eyes crossed. She wasn’t sure what this combo meant, and she feared the worst...

She rushed to the kitchen to check on her pie, and what she saw caused her jaw to drop, her eyes to widen and her mouth to gape. She saw nothing! The pie wasn’t there anymore! She slowly walked to the window to search for clues of where her pie had gone. She searched high and low for some tell tale signs of what happened, but all Pinkie Pie could find was a pair of dirty paw prints imprinted on the windowsill, one on the left and right of an area that used to contain her fresh pie.

“I wonder whose these paw prints belong to?” Pinkie Pie pondered to herself.

At the break of dawn, Pinkie Pie decided to rush towards the Itallionia Ponicia Force to report the incident. She pounced from block to block through narrow cobblestone roads towards her destination, too determined to get to the bottom of this heinous crime to notice when another pony stood in the middle of the road. She accidentally slammed into Investigatore Dash with full force, which launched her into the air and sent her spiraling right into an apple stand. Pinkie stopped in her tracks and watched with horror as the pegasus screamed and crashed full speed into a stand, which sent apple pulp and chunks of wood to soar through the air as if it had been blown up.

Dazed, the Investigatore groaned as she pulled her head out of a mess of splintered wood and apples. She pried an empty apple crate that had become lodged onto her head, spat out a apple that somehow got stuck in her mouth, and glared at the hyperactive pink ball of fluff that dared attack her.

“Hey, what’s the big idea!” roared Investigatore Dash.

“Oh, gosh, I am so, so, so very sorry Dashie!” cried the pink pony as she rushed to help Dash up.

Investigatore Rainbow Dash is a cyan colored pegasus who recently vowed her loyalty to the Itallionia Ponicia Force right out of school, where her speed and determination made her an invaluable member of the department.

“I told you to stop calling me Dashie! I am to be called by my official title: Investigatore Dash!” Dash said in a reprimanding tone as she stumbled on a few rolling apples. Her anger grew as she looked down at her outfit, which had been spotless not a minute ago.

“And look! You got apple juice smeared all over my outfit!”

“Yea, juice from ma’h apple harvest,” a voice grumbled as the mound of debris shifted to reveal another pony caught in the crash. It was Applejack, an orange earth pony, wearing her now messy apron and missing her light brown stetson hat which had blown up onto a nearby tent. She was the owner of a nearby apple orchard called Applemela Farm.

But Dash was more concerned with her brown plaid outfit and cape. She barely noticed the earth pony caught in the wreckage as she picked off chunks of apple to make herself once again presentable.

“Now, what the hay was that all about, Pinkie?” asked Applejack, who was more concerned about their situation than the way they looked.

“Yeah, why are you in such a hurry?” Investigatore Dash asked forcefully.

“Nevermind that, I need to get to the Ponicia Station like pronto!” Pinkie Pie looked eager to move along and stamped her feet up and down until she looked at Dash and realized something. “Oh! That’s right. Dashie! You are just the pony I wanted to see,” Pinkie chattered excitedly.

“Oh? What is it?” the investigatore said with a wary expression.

Pinkie Pie inhaled deeply and tried to fit everything she had to say in one breath, as fast as she could.

“Yesterday, I noticed that I was missing a pie in my bakery. I never just lose pies, but still I shrugged it off and made another one and put it put on the windowsill for it to cool off. I looked away for a moment when I had this feeling of a combo coming; my knees jittered, my ears flopped, my spine writhed, and my eyes crossed! I didn’t know what this combo meant, but I feared the worst! So I rushed back to the kitchen and somebody stole my pie!”

Rainbow Dash’s eyes squinted while she tried to follow along to Pinkie’s story. “Wait, what now?”

“I said somebody stole my pie!!!” Pinkie Pie shouted in frustration.

“What?! Who would dare commit such a heinous crime when I'm on patrol!?”

“Duh! I don’t know! That’s why I wanted to see you, silly!” cried Pinkie Pie, becoming more and more frantic.

“Hm,” Rainbow Dash grunted in thought as she raised a hoof to her chin and looked at the ground in thought. “ I see. Very well. I will come over to your bakery to establish a crime scene as soon I’m done helping this civilian.” She waved one hoof back generally towards the area of the destroyed apple stand and its vendor.

With this, Pinkie Pie skipped away, happy that the capable Investigatore would be on the case. Rainbow Dash turned to Applejack as she hopped out of view and surveyed the damage.

“Aw, it’s no biggie, ah suppose. We grow tons of apples at the orchard, and these were ‘bout to go bad anyhow. What I’m really concerned about is that there is a thief on the loose.”

“Wait, you know about this thief problem?” Investigatore Dash asked as she faced Apple Jack with scrutiny.

“Of course. All the street vendors are havin’ to watch over their wares, extra special like. The darn criminal even stole some of mah granny smiths, just yesterday mornin’.”

“Really?” Dash said as she thought about her statement. “It sounds like we have a serious criminal on the loose.” She then put on a brave face and said in her most official way, “Never fear, citizen! Crime will not go unpunished when Investigatore Dash is on the case!”

“Oh, thank ya kindly. Ah’m downright thankful that you are going to find that confounded thief.”

“This is not the only incident of thievery, then” mumbled Dash as she wrote in her notepad.

“That thief sure is quick, and I don’t think they’ve ever been caught before. I’ve never had such a problem with just one thief,” Applejack considered as she spoke.

“Unless, there is not just one thief - but a gang!” replied Investigatore Dash.

“Ya reckon?” Applejack looked worried.“If that's true, then how do we figure out who they are? Where they are hiding? And why are they doing this?” asked Applejack.

“That is what I aim to figure out, ma’am,” replied Dash, “Well I better head over to Pinkie Pie’s bakery if I want more clues.”

“Okay, well, I reckon I wish you the best of luck in your investigation.” said Applejack.

Investigatore Dash dashed her way to the Sweets and Pies Bakery to investigate the crime scene to learn more about this possible gang of thieves.

She walked through the door and trotted up to the counter, looking towards the spot where Pinkie Pie normally stood. Then she saw the bell on the counter, picked it up and gave it a gentle ring. Instantly, Pinkie Pie popped up from under the counter like a jack-in-the-box.

“Wah!” screamed Dash as she flinched.

“Oh, thank goodness you’re here Dashie!” Pinkie Pie grinned.

Dash regained her professional demeanor and ignored Pinkie’s use of her nickname. Dash replied, “Yeah... Now, can you lead me to where the pie was taken?”

“Sure thing! It’s this way.” Pinkie pie said while leading Dash into the kitchen. Dash then started to scan the area where the pie once placed.

Investigatore Dash pulled out her magnifying glass and started to scan the kitchen floor, looking for any footprints hints that the thief may have left behind. She couldn't find anything at first - not a clue, hint, or hoofprint on the floor. Suddenly, she came across something - an empty mop bucket.

“Wait. This wasn’t here when I came in,” Dash pondered to herself and looked up to see that Pinkie Pie was mopping the floor. “AAAAAH! Pinkie Pie! What are you doing?” screamed Rainbow Dash, outraged.

“Isn’t it obvious? I’m mopping the floor, ‘cause I just realized it was so dirty!” Pinkie Pie cheerfully replied.

“What are you talking about?! You’ve probably already destroyed valuable evidence that I need for my investigation!”

“Well, excuse me! I’m just doing my job. I don’t want to manage a dirty bakery! Who wants to eat at a bakery if there’s tracks of dirt everywhere!”

Rainbow Dash was running out of patience and nearly stormed out of the bakery in frustration when her eyes came across a clue - or two, to be exact. There were two paw prints on the windowsill.

“At least she didn’t mop up the window,” Rainbow Dash muttered. “Huh. These certaintly do not belong to a gang of Diamond Dogs. Which means there must be a new gang afoot in Itallionia,” Dash mused out loud to herself.

Rainbow Dash turned to the pastry chef. “So,” Dash said as she began to interrogate Pinkie Pie, “Let’s start with yesterday. Did you have any strange or suspicious customers at all throughout the day?”

“Nope!” Pinkie Pie quickly replied.

“No?”

“Nope. Well, there was one creepy guy who smelled like bad eggs and grumbled and scared everyone out of their wits, but he wasn’t so bad!”

Rainbow Dash placed her hoof on her forehead and reached her pocket for her notebook and quill. “I’m guessing this is going to be the closest thing I’ll have to a lead in my investigation with you around, isn’t it? Alright, come on then, let’s hear a description of this ‘creepy guy’.”

~End of Chapter 1~

Chapter 2: A Special Treat for Thieves

Assassin's Pie

Chapter 2: A Special Sweet for Thieves

Having finished all of the cleaning around the bakery, Pinkie Pie trotted towards the entrance to flip the ‘open’ sign on her display window to welcome her customers. As she turned to attend to her displays, her first customer entered and started to browse her freshly baked sweets. The customer, a young purple colt and a regular of Pinkie’s bakery, browsed to the counter as he did most mornings. He put a hoof to his chin and carefully browsed the lemon tarts before selecting a few that caught his eye, as he did on every morning. The colt timidly tapped the bell to summon someone for his purchase. After waiting several moments for assistance, the customer peered over the counter, looking to see if he could spot any of the employees. Suddenly, Pinkie Pie burst from underneath the register, causing the customer to fall back on his haunches. “Welcome to my super yummy one-of-a-kind bakery! How can I satisfy your sweet tooth today?”

“Gaaah!” he yelped nervously as he fell hard on his flank.

“Oh , I’m so sorry! Here, let me help you up.” said Pinkie Pie as she lifted the customer up on his hooves. Once he was back on his hooves, Pinkie Pie returned behind the counter and continued to smile as she waited for his order.

“Uh, mornin’, Pinkie Pie. Just me again,” the colt continued, stammering as he recovered from the shock he experienced whenever dealing with Pinkie. “Uh, well,” he continued. “I would like a few of those lemon tarts over there, please.”

“Okie dokie lokie!” Pinkie Pie said as she edged towards the sweets that he had picked out. The colt patiently waited as Pinkie Pie gathered up the lemon tarts, wrapped them in thin paper, and tied the package in the purple ribbon.

“Have a super sweet day!” she sang out while handing over the bundle.

“Ah, thanks again, Pinkie Pie,” the customer returned, finally calm and content with Pinkie’s service as he left the bakery.

Pinkie Pie returned to the kitchen to prepare a few last-minute orders, but before the door of the bakery swung fully closed, a new customer arrived to push it back open. It was a young yellow filly with a bushy red mane adorned with an over-sized bow. The small filly made a great effort try to reach the bell on the counter; with a grunt, she took a jump and slapped the bell with her hoof. She managed to smack the bell on the counter, but lost balance and landed roughly on her rump.

"Owww, darn it!” cried the yellow filly as sat and cringed.

Pinkie Pie heard the bell, a thump, and a sullen filly’s voice. As she tried to place the familiar voice, she pranced to the counter and found a young filly sitting on the ground. “Hello?” Pinkie called out.

The filly rubbed her bruising flank and looked up towards the voice. She saw Pinkie Pie arriving from the kitchen as she bounced over the counter and landed beside her.

“Hiya there, Applebloom,” Pinkie Pie greeted her. “Lemme help you up!”

“Thanks, Pinkie Pie,” Applebloom said.

“So! Is there anything I can get for you? There’s a lot of sweets to choose from!” Pinkie Pie waved to one of the glass cases where sweets made from every sort of fruit and spice were meticulously displayed.

“Gee, that is a lot of sweet stuff to choose from,” Applebloom said, her eyes gleaming and her mouth drooling as she browsed the delicious sweets. Her eyes froze on one treat in particular. “A’h would love to have that sprinkled caramel-covered apple!”

“Okie doki loki!” the pink pony cheered. “One happy apple, coming right up!” She grabbed the sprinkled caramel-covered apple and handed to Applebloom.

“Thanks Pinkie Pie!”Applebloom said as she handed over two bits. She was about to leave, but stopped short of leaving the door to take a big bite of her treat. She turned around, quickly came back and said, ”Oh! I remember what I came here for!” She spoke quickly through chewed apple, eager to get to her treat. “Applejack wanted me to take you to the Ponicia Force! Like, right now!”

“Oh?” She said worriedly as she furrowed her brow. She shook her head and continued to speak in good cheer. “Okie doki loki, then! I’ll just close up shop for a break, then. Tell her I’ll be there in just a second,” Pinkie Pie said as she doused the fire in her stone stove, closed all the windows and flipped the ‘OPEN’ sign back to ‘CLOSED’. She trotted out the front door along with Applebloom.

After a few minutes of trotting down the cobblestone streets towards the station, Pinkie Pie arrived with Applebloom. Applejack stood bravely at a bench near the entrance with a lasso hooked under one leg. She nodded at Pinkie and waved her towards the back of the room, where a police pegasus stood guard back at the holding cells with a determined look on his face. Pinkie approached the guard, who began to speak when he recognized her.

“Ms. Pie, We have reason to believe that we have a suspect in custody who may have been responsible for a theft at your bakery yesterday morning,” the police guard addressed her officially. “Is it not true that you are missing one cherry pie?”

“Not just any cherry pie; A chimicherry pie!” Pinkie Pie corrected him cheerily.

The police guard regarded her skeptically. “Right. Uh, yes, that would fit the description. This suspect has been caught by a local farmer. She has reason to believe that this is the very criminal that stole your pie. He’s been caught red-hooved -- well, red-faced, in this case.”

Pinkie Pie walked towards the iron bars where a tired and beaten looking hyena sat on the dirt floor of his cell, cherry filling thick on his cheeks. He looked somber, but still somehow violent and mangy. Applebloom shied away from the cell, unlike Pinkie Pie, who eyed the crook suspiciously. The police guard went behind a desk to grab an empty pie pan. “Would you please identify if this is the pan that your pie was baked in?”

Pinkie glanced once at the pan and instantly recognized it. “Yep!”

“Very well,” the officer replied. “Investigatore Dash will handle the matter from this point. If you would care to observe and provide input, the station will appreciate your assistance in indicting this ruffian.”

Investigatore Dash entered brusquely, her eyes focused harshly on the scrappy prisoner. But despite his usual roughness, the intensity of the investiagatore made him nervous. The hyena gulped and became nervous as she quickly approached his cell.

But after arriving to his cell and gauging him with a glance, she turned her attention to the attending guard. “Get this prisoner to the interrogation chamber,” Investigatore dash ordered the guard. The hyena shifted back in his cell at the mention of the frightening sounding room.

“Yes, Sir!” he dutifully replied.

The guard unlocked the gate and grabbed the prisoner roughly around the neck to lead him - and partly drag him - to the interrogation chamber. Investigatore Dash lead as Pinkie Pie, Applejack and Applebloom followed closely behind. As they arrived at the steel bar door of the interrogation chamber, the guard pulled out a rusted key, unlocked the padlock of the small room with a dull click, and escorted the group inside.

“Sir!” said the guard, gesturing Dash into the chamber.

Investigatore Dash shoved the Hyena into the chamber; he lost balance and fell sprawled on the dusty floor.
Applejack almost entered the chamber before apprehension struck her. She turned around to stop the yellow filly behind her. “Ah’m mighty sorry Applebloom, but I can’t let you in.”

“But why nawt? Ah’m a big pony!” Applebloom complained.

“Sorry Applebloom, this is for big ponies only,” Applejack explained carefully. Although her friend Dash was on her side, the Investigatore’s fierceness even scared her as well. “Ah can’t let you see what might happen in the chamber. Please understand, for your safety and my concern as your big sister,” Applejack pleaded.

“Fine... If you say so sis,” Applebloom muttered gloomily.

“Thank you, Applebloom,” Applejack said as she gave a kiss on her forehead. She then turned to a nearby guard and waved him over, “Scuse me sir, would you be so kind as to escort mah sister back to Applemela farm? It’s a long way for a little filly,” Applejack asked. The guard nodded curtly and approached the young pony.

“I’m a big pony, gosh darnit...” Applebloom grumbled while trotting away with the guard. Applejack watched after her as she left the station. She only turned around back to the interrogation chamber after she left her sight. It was a small room with two chairs and a wooden table, dimly lit by a single torch placed on the far wall. She entered to find Dash already beginning the interrogation.

“Get on the chair,” Investigatore Dash stoically ordered the hyena.

Even if he was scared, the hyena knew he couldn’t bow to her authority - bending to the authorities and snitching were against the honor code of his gang. The hyena walked to the chair and stepped onto the seat.

“What are you doing?” demanded Investigatore Dash.

“Well, you told me to get on the chair, not to sit on the chair. Hyeakakaka!” The hyena crackled with forced joviality.

Pinkie Pie saw Dash’s rising frustration and tried to chip in. “Well, he’s right Dashie!” Pinkie Pie chimed in, only to be shot down by a glare from Rainbow Dash.

“Look at this! The big, mean detective being talked down to by a pink pony. Kyakakakakaa!!” The Hyena laughed hysterically.

A sudden breeze passed the Hyena’s cheek and hit the stone wall. Blood seeped from his cheek, he looked at the wall to see what nicked him. It was a throwing knife, now thickly cut into the stone wall. He jerked back to face Investigatore Dash who had her arm still raised.

“Don’t you dare buck with me!” screeched Investigatore Dash as she slammed a hoof hard onto the table between them.

Applejack jumped at the sudden violence and leaned in to try to calm down the Investigatore. “Uh, sugarcube,” Applejack whispered to Rainbow Dash, “Don’t cha think that’s ah bit rough? All he did was steal a pi-”

“He stole several pies, your apples, AND quite a bit of other sweets, if I remember correctly,” the Investigatore interrupted Applejack, all while keeping a firm eye on the wounded hyena.

“You don’t know that, you power hungry witch! You don’t have any evid-”

She stood up with both front hooves placed on the table before her as she interrupted him and spoke quickly. “You were caught with chimicherry pie filling on your muzzle, and you had a pie tin with you. Deduction and common sense tell me you’re either the cause of the other crimes or part of a group. Either way, you’re more than likely guilty,” Dash spoke with a bragging tone, and she continued to hold her burning gaze on the suspect while doing so.

“Yeah, and we know you ate one of my pies!” Pinkie yelled as she jumped onto the table, bringing her eyes close to the hyena’s, “Whaddya say to that, huh?”

Rainbow smacked her hoof against her face and shook her head disapprovingly, “Pinkie, I just said that.”

“Oh... Okay! Next question!” The pink pony giggled as she bounced back to her place behind the Investigatore.

“Wow, you really need to brush up on your interrogation skills, both of you,” the hyena taunted as he smirked, “I mean, you haven’t even asked me for my name, and you’re already throwing knives and pink ponies at me.”

“Fine then,” Dash sat down in front of the desk, “We’ll take this in a more civilized manner.” She eyed him casually and spoke plainly. “What’s your name, scumbag?”

The hyena leaned across the desk and chuckled, “I suppose that’s as loving as a prisoner here will get. No wonder you’re an Investigat-”

Before the culprit could finish his sentence, Rainbow Dash swung her front hoof smashing into his face, causing him to almost fall out of his chair.

“I asked you for your name like a decent pony, like you suggested. Don’t make me switch back to my way of doing things.”

The hyena rubbed his face, which was beginning to swell. “Fine. It’s Eclair,” The hyena whined as he rubbed his jaw with his paw, “Eclair the Hyena.”

“IT’S A LIE! A rotten lie!” Pinkie exclaimed as she jumped onto the table again, causing it to topple over and losing her balance over the hyena.

“Where do you find these ponies? She’s a hoot! Kyakakakakaka!” He cackled as the pink mare lay sprawled at his feet.

Investigatore Dash grabbed Pinkie Pie’s tail and yanked her away from the Hyena, “Pinkie Pie! Don’t interrupt the interrogation!" bellowed Rainbow Dash.

“Eeep! Sorry, Dashie,” The pink pony apologized.

“I told you before,” Rainbow growled, “Call me INVESTIGATORE DASH!”

“Kyaahakakakaa! Whooo, hahaha, you guys really are a hoot! And I mean it, I never laughed so hard before!” Eclair wheezed from the pain of his sides from laughter, though one hand quickly returned to his aching face.

“Now calm down y'all, we’re here for the hyena, not to yell at each other,” Applejack said as she walked between the pink and blue ponies, “Why don’t you both save it for after the interrogation? I, for one, would like to know where mah apples have gone off to.”

“Oh! The orange pony interrupted you! What are you going to do about her? Kyahakakakaa!” Eclair said between fits of laughter.

Rainbow Dash had heard just about enough. She turned her backside towards the hyena, and bucked the chair in his direction.

“Oh, sweet Bavarian creme,” the hyena yelped as he ducked underneath the desk, narrowly missing the flying chair.

“Are you done with your smart-flank remarks?” asked Investigatore Dash.

“Well... Not quite. Kyahakakakaka!” Eclair crackled.

“Well you’d damn well better be. Now sit in that chair before I lose my temper again,” Dash growled.

“Kyahakakakaka!” He continued to shout. He began to hold his sides and wiped a tear from his face. “Whoooo, Oh fine. I believe I’ve had my fill of laughter for today,” Eclair said while taking a breather. Eclair grabbed the chair, pressed it up to the table, and sat down.

“Now, tell me why you’ve been stealing pies, apples and who-knows-what-else?” Investigatore Dash asked.

“I only stole one pie. And as for stealing apples, that was just for sport,” he explained casually before bursting out into another chuckle. “Kehekekeke...”

But he stopped short when he caught the glint of a pair of burning green eyes from a dim area from across the room. Applejack faced the hyena from a dark corner, shooting a cold stare that sent shivers down his back. Eclair peered intently to see who was staring at him. He was becoming spooked by the eerie glimmer. He faced back towards the Investigatore when something hard suddenly smacked him in between his eyes. It bruised and exploded against his head, sending fragments and pulp across the room. He recognized the smell; he thought of a fruit stand that he had stalked the month before. “An apple?” he muttered, dazed.

“Gaah!” Eclair screamed as he saw the orange pony immediately in front of him now.

Without a word, the farmer pony stood and eyed the hyena. The burning emerald eyes pierced his joker front; the hyena soon found it hard enough just to keep from squirming under her stare.

“Aren’t you going to say something, dumb pony?” Eclair egged her on. Applejack showed no sign that she heard his words; she continued to stare coldly directly into his eyes.

“Cat got your tongue? Or did somepony steal that, too?” Eclair continued to mock the silent earth pony. Again, no response. He began to sweat and his eyes began to shift. His stomach felt sick and the silence was beginning to unnerve him. After a tortuous minute, he began to whimper. But Applejack just continued to stare menacingly.

“Speak, pony! What are you looking at me like that for? Like I’m some kind of freak? Or maybe you think I’m too lowly to be spoken to? Speak!” Eclair shouted, his voice cracking as he spoke frantically.

Applejack finally relaxed her stare and smirked. “Not so tough. Ah know you know we’ve got you fer your crimes, but you still won’t ‘fess up. You won’t talk because yer coverin’ for someone else, ain’t ya?” She spoke coolly.

Eclair recoiled when she finally spoke. “Why won’t you leave all of the hard thinking to the Investigatore?” he shot back at her nervously. “I don’t want you to strain a muscle thinking.”

Rainbow Dash approached the two when she saw that Eclair was finally cracking. Pinkie Pie stood back to watch during the tense lull of silence.

The Investigatore calmed down throughout Applejack’s turn. She knew that force wouldn’t work; she used every ounce of her restraint as she approached the quivering suspect.

“We know you’re working for someone, Eclair,” Rainbow Dash said plainly. “You can only help yourself here; they want you to be silent. Think - what do you stand to gain? You either face a life of prison right now or see what we can offer. Help us help you. Tell us what you know. Cooperate.” She approached Eclair and looked him straight in the eyes.

“Who do you work for?” she calmly asked. Eclair lowered his chin in thought.

Eclair looked at her hesitantly. “So, you’re telling me to negotiate or you'll see me rot in prison,” he said slowly. He looked down towards the floor and rubbed his front paws together anxiously. He paused with an ill expression and continued. “Custard. I work for Custard,” Eclair said, feeling both a load off his shoulders and a certain dread that he was taking an unremovable step from a life with his gang as he finished the sentence. Nonetheless, he took a breath with relief.

“Good, now we are getting somewhere. If you continue to help us and provide us with more information, we will be able to help you,” Investigatore Dash said proudly as she glanced gratefully towards Applejack. The farmer pony nodded and stepped back.

“Now, before we start negotiating, I need to know who Custard is. What are you called? What do you represent and what are you trying to achieve here?” the Investigatore questioned him.

Eclair looked sadly at the three ponies in the room. “What have I gotten myself into?” He shook his head. “One question at a time, please,” he said while Rainbow Dash procured her notepad.

“Alright then, let’s go with ‘who is Custard?’” Rainbow Dash said while looking at Eclair.

Eclair hesitated for a moment. “Custard is the Boss of our gang that is called ‘The Sweet Tooth Gang’ He gathers any Hyenas who are poor or angry enough to commit crime for his cause. He also hires Hyenas with particular skills that will help him achieve his goals.”

Investigatore Dash jotted down Eclair's words and said, “Good. Now then, what are these goals exactly?”

“I do not know, I am only a Henchman, we are merely pawns that are kept in the dark,” Eclair said dismissively.

Rainbow Dash immediately dropped her calm. “Then you are of no use to me!” she shouted, closing her notepad and tucking it back into her pocket. “You might as well rot in jail!” Rainbow Dash said furiously.

“You are asking me, a tool of Custard. We are kept as tools; unthinking but effective. But I can help, with my skills, connections, and limited knowledge. I can get you inside the headquarters, with some effort,” Elcair began to plea.

“Ha! Once you get us inside you will betray us,” Rainbow Dash said. “You really think I’m that stupid to fall into such an obvious trap?”

“Not if I take off this,” he said solemnly as he gazed down at a dirty silver-trimmed sash tied on his waist. “This is a sacred cloth for us. It symbolizes our rank and our bond to our fellow thieves. I am ashamed to admit that I am not as selfless as I was when I swore this oath to Custard so many years ago.” With two claws, he loosened the sash, folded it into his paws, and set it on the table in front of the Investigatore. “I suppose it’s worthless now,” he muttered angrily to himself.

Rainbow Dash looked skeptically at his gesture and glanced sideways to Applejack. “We can’t be sure that he can be trusted,” Rainbow Dash spoke in an aside to Applejack.

“I’ll take care of this one, Dashie,” Pinkie Pie eagerly stepped in. A vein on the right temple of Dash’s head became pronounced and her pulse quickened as she was yet again interrupted by her friend; and she just called her ‘Dashie’ again, no less.

“What now!?” Rainbow Dash barked.

“Duh! I can make him swear a Pinkie Pie promise! Then he’d have to be honest,” Pinkie Pie grinned and waited for Dash’s approval.

Rainbow Dash couldn’t stay mad at her friend for too long, given her good intentions. After a pause, she sighed and gave in. After all, with her friends there, the thieving hyena wouldn’t be able to do anything to trick her.

“Alright Pinkie Pie. Knowing you, I’m sure that this hyena has no chance against you if he breaks a Pinkie Promise,” she said in a resigned voice. “Go on, then,” Dash said as looked at Pinkie and nodded towards the hyena.

“What’s this? Another oath?” Eclair looked puzzled as the pink pony sat down across from him.

Pie looked at him without a trace of humor in the dim light of the interrogation chamber. “Repeat after me and do as I say, okay?” she said with a plain face.

Eclair’s confused expression grew. He finally nodded and scooted forward in his chair, saying, “I suppose you’re not giving me a choice. On with it, then.”

“Say, with me, ‘cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye,’” Pinkie Pie said. “And then stick your hoof in your eye, like this!” She jammed her hoof roughly into her own eye without flinching.

“Uh, alright,” he said, striking a serious tone. “Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye,” he said quickly.

“And?” Pinkie Pie said expectedly.

Eclair sighed and looked at his forepaw. “Is this truly necessary?” he said.

“If you want us to trust you, it is!” Pinkie Pie said as forcefully as she could. “Now, do it again!”

Eclair glanced around the room at the three ponies once more and thought to himself, “What have I gotten myself into?”

He frowned dejectedly and breathed in to speak the oath once more.

~End of Chapter 2~