Night Eight - The Facts of Life
NIGHT EIGHT
The Facts of Life
being dead is the best contraceptive
Without letting go of their kiss, the pair stumbled back, and ended up lying on Misty's bed. By the time Misty finally gasped for breath, Lemon Frisk was quite sure she'd broken Blossom's record.
"I... don't think you need all that much practice after all," he remarked.
She gave him a sly grin. "What," she said, still gasping for breath, "you think a little detail like that would stop me?"
"Not really, no," Lemon said, smiling.
"So..." she said, sliding a hoof down his barrel. "Does it actually still work, down there?"
Lemon frowned. "Uh... no idea, to be honest. It's never come up."
The hoof that was going down poked him lightly. "That was awful," she said, smiling at him.
"It may not actually be, uhm, safe, you know," Lemon Frisk said, sounding somewhat more serious.
The hoof stopped going down. "Safe?"
"Well, you know," Lemon said, "the whole pink cloud thing. I'm kinda saturated with that stuff. You never know if it'll... uh... come out."
Misty pulled her hoof back, and sat upright on the bed. "That's the stuff that... fuses things, right?"
"Yup."
"Okay," Misty said. "That would be both really painful, and eternally embarrassing."
"Joined at the hip, so to speak," Lemon said, snickering. "Literally."
"Let's not risk that, shall we?" Misty said. Just as Lemon Frisk looked like he was about to comment on that, Misty slid her hoof back down, and stroked his sheath. "So, let's do some... experimenting before letting this little bad colt into the Cave of Wonders."
Lemon moaned as she teasingly rubbed up and down his sheath. Undead or not, he clearly didn't lose his sensitivity down there. She gave him a quick peck on the mouth, before moving her head down as well, kissing his soft underbelly as she made her way towards her goal.
"Well," she remarked, as she approached her target, "let's do some necromancy here, shall we? All the rest of your body somehow keeps working while it shouldn't. There's little reason—"
Lemon gasped as she unexpectedly interrupted her sentence to suck on the front of his sheath. The fact he didn't need to breathe mattered little at this point. His breathing became heavier, and he could've sworn he felt blood pumping through his old undead veins.
"As I look where I look, as I see what I see," Misty purred, as the shaft made its first triumphant appearance in two centuries, "I guess I can do Zebra necromancy." Lemon Frisk never got the chance to reply to her silly statement, as her mouth quickly wrapped around his member.
"C-careful!" he managed to say, pulling away from her. "The point was not to fuse the two of us together, remember?"
Misty tilted her head. "What, you wouldn't even hold out that long?"
"Misty, it's been two centuries. Not even going for the old prisoner joke, I honestly have no idea."
The mare nodded. "Right, right. So, take it slow, and don't put it into me. Gotcha." She stroked down his shaft and smiled. "Guess it's time for some good old-fashioned hoof work then, hm?"
"Well, that's up to you," Lemon said, smiling. He curled around until his head was between her hind legs, and sucked on one of her nipples. "I'll be using my tongue, tough," he said, teasingly.
Misty's eyes widened. "Oohhh don't stop doing that," she said, nuzzling his erect penis. She gave it an experimental lick. She closed her eyes and let her tongue play around it, while Lemon did the same with her nipples. Slowly, he made his way towards her clit. Teasingly slowly. She loved every second of it.
"Mmmmh," she moaned. "I can see why she chose you." She let her tongue slide down his length. "You're a keeper, all right."
"Psh," he replied. "You're just picking the fruits of years of practice."
Misty slumped down, surrendering her body completely to Lemon's tender loving care. "To Tartarus with young and sexy," she said, nuzzling the member in front of her. "Second hoof stallions are awesome."
"Aw. I'm not sexy?" Lemon Frisk asked.
"Mmh. Maybe," she replied lazily. "But I might just have a thing for ghouls."
Lemon Frisk snorted. "I don't remember ever talking this much while making love to someone."
Misty raised an eyebrow. "Are you telling me to shut up?"
Lemon softly kissed Misty's labia. "Now where would you get that idea?"
"Well," Misty said. "This isn't getting us much closer to completing the experiment."
"True. True..." Lemon replied.
"And... the more you tease me down there, the more I want you inside me."
Lemon smiled mischievously. "I can do that." He stuck his tongue deep inside her slit, making her gasp in surprise.
"L-Lemon!" she cried out.
"Mmhmm?" Lemon responded in jest, his nose still buried deep in her pink petals.
"...the door's still unlocked," Misty said.
Lemon pulled his tongue out, teasingly licking her clit on the way. "Ugh," he said. "I'll get it." He got out of the bed and locked the door. "Happy now?"
"Get back here, and I will be," she said, smiling at him.
Lemon tsk'ed, and shook his head. "Work, work, work," he said as he walked back to the waiting mare in the bed.
Misty kissed him as he lay back down next to her. "Well, since you so rudely interrupted our vital experiment with your own... hmm... actions," she said, "we'll have to start all over again."
Lemon looked towards his still-erect penis. "Not quite all over, I'd say."
"Mmhm," Misty said, sliding down to get her head on the right level. She was clearly done teasing, though. She put her mouth around his stallionhood from the side, wrapped her tongue further around it, and moved her head side to side, letting her mouth go up and down his length. Lemon could only gasp as she added some extra hoofwork to her efforts, gently stroking the rim of his member.
"Misty..." he gasped. "Oh by Luna's starry depths."
Misty didn't reply. As the undead stallion felt an unbearable pressure building up in his body, and started staring wide-eyed at the wall in front of him, she just doubled her efforts, pulling her tongue closely around his member as she stroked it sidewards up and down the delicate skin. He shivered as he finally climaxed, a warm glow spreading through his body.
After a few moments, he became aware of Misty fiddling with his semi-erect member.
"Huh," she said, peering into the little hole at the front of his penis. "Nothing at all." She sounded somewhat disappointed by this.
Lemon smiled. "Be glad," he said. "If something had come out, we'd have to send it to a lab to be certain."
"You don't seem too surprised about this."
Lemon got onto his haunches and shrugged. "As far as I know, ever since I became a ghoul, the only thing that ever came out down there was exactly whatever I poured in up here."
Misty gave him a surprised look. "Really?"
"Remember when I said on the radio that I can't get drunk? Well, that's the reason."
A smile crept around Misty's mouth. "Really now?"
Lemon Frisk blinked, and realized what he just said. "Oh no," he said. "You did not just start thinking in that direction."
Misty grinned, and moved her head up to Lemon's level. "Do you have any idea..." she said, slowly, "what mares would give for a blowjob that tastes good?"
"That's hardly the same!" Lemon protested. "I'd still be, well, peeing, you know."
"If it indeed comes out exactly as you pour it in, that's open for debate," Misty said, still grinning ear to ear.
"I'm not a tap to drink from, dammit," Lemon said, looking thoroughly embarrassed.
"You'd enjoy it," Misty threw back.
"That doesn't make it any less weird," Lemon said, looking away from her.
Misty grinned, and let her hoof wander down his belly again. "Say whatever you want... this little guy seems to be entertained by the idea."
Lemon looked down to his once again fully erect member. "Traitor," he muttered at it.
"We'd still need to test that for trace poisons, of course," Misty said, matter-of-factly. "So tomorrow, you'll drink a glass of water, let it make its way through, and then we'll drop it off at the Stable lab for analysis."
"What?!" Lemon said. "You can't be ser—"
Misty cut him off with long, sensual kiss. Lemon frowned, but eventually gave in. As their kiss became more heated, their hooves frantically rubbed down the other's body, looking for those sensitive spots. When their mouths finally separated, both of them were thoroughly out of breath. As they gasped for air in unison, Lemon Frisk added "getting out of breath" to his mental list of pretty good reasons for ghouls to breathe.
"For the record..." he said, "you're a nasty, nasty mare."
"Hush now, quiet now," Misty sang, putting a hoof on Lemon's lips. "I'm more than just a little wet."
She moved her mouth to his ear, her voice becoming more hoarse as she sang on. "Hush now, quiet now..."
She put her foreleg around Lemon's neck and leaned back, pulling him on top of her.
"...it's time to rock the bed."
The rest of the song was cut off by another long kiss, which didn't end until he was deep inside her.
Footnote: What, you really thought you'd get a level for that? Dream on, ghoul-boy.
Special Perk: Morning Ritual: Yeah, so... you can sleep again, and you've just relearned getting it up, too. Expect that little morning annoyance that plagues all stallions to rear its little head from time to time.
Author's Note
Special ~~thanks~~ blames to all the people who kept nagging for this. You know who you are 
Especially you, Wirepony 
