“Win Big”
By: Masem
With special thanks to Kinky Turtle for lyrical help
They’re Pinkie and the Brain,
Yes, Pinkie and the Brain...
One is a genius, the other’s insane.
Though their friendship is nice
They may skip that advice
They’re Pinkie, Pinkie and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain!
It was another quiet day in Ponyville as late spring was starting to slip into summer. The various residents went about their business, preparing for the change in seasons. Some were standing around the park near the Ponyville library, chatting away about their various roles in the upcoming weeks.
Their discussion was broken up by a small explosion coming from the library. Those ponies talking nearby were briefly startled by the loud bang, but, after glancing at the library, continued on with their conversation. By now, they had come to expect those types of things from their newest resident.
Spike pushed open the upper set of windows, letting a thin trail of black smoke roll out. The young dragon was singed, and coughing for fresh air. “I got the windowopen, Twi!” he shouted back.
The upper levels were filled with dense black smoke that slowly dispersed as Spike opened more windows. Twilight Sparkle waved her hooves to clear the smoke away from the main table in the main room, eager to see the result. “I hope this formulation worked, Spike!” she said, her eyes darting across the tabletop.
“I don’t ever remember any of your previous attempts exploding like that before, though.” Spike said curiously as he approached the table to look at the result of Twilight’s experiment. He pointed to a dark mass under some fallen books on the table. “Oh, there it is, I think.” and began to clear away the debris.
Twilight looked on eagerly as Spike dug into the mess. “Well, did it work?”
Spike had cleared enough away to be able to grab at the strange mass and gingerly held it between two claws, lifting the shapeless lump up. “Um, it’s...green?” he pondered for the right word.
“Drat!” Twilight said, stomping a hoof down. “And that was the last of my gold dust until next week’s shipment. I’ll just have to let the Princess know that I won’t be able to fulfill her charms assignment as soon as I thought.” She looked around the debris on the table that had spilled over to the floor. “Well, we’d better get started cleaning this place up.”
The sound of the library door flying open startled the two, both turning to see Pinkie Pie speeding up the stairs. “Oh! Are you two having a party? I heard a big explosion and came right over!” she said, bouncing her usual happy bounce and somehow managing to keep a basket of baked goods balanced on her back.
Spike shook his head as he went past Pinkie, carrying a stack of books to reshelve. “No, Twilight just had another spell backfire on her.”
Twilight frowned as she used her magic to deposit broken glassware into a nearby wastecan. “I’ve been trying to make these magical artifacts that my books say can boost a unicorn’s power. I’ve made smaller trinkets before for the Princess before, but now I’m trying to make a much larger one.” She sighed. “Unfortunately, this was my sixth attempt, and now I’m just going to have to wait till next week to try again.”
Pinkie, unfazed by Twilight’s lament, continued to bounce around the room. “Oh silly, even a failure can be turned into a party! I’ll get one set up tonight for you, and we’ll have cake, and streamers, and-”
The three were interrupted by a soft thump from outside, followed by a fit of giggling from somepony.
“Mail’s here, I’ll go get it”, Spike said, already hurrying downstairs.
‘You don’t even want something to eat?” Pinkie motioned to the basket she carried. “I’ve got cupcakes, and muffins, and doughnuts, and profiteroles, and even some apple fritters! I know you can’t res-”
“Profitewhats?!” Twilight turned to look at her friend with an raised eyebrow.
“Profiteroles, silly!” Pinkie giggled. She rummaged around for one in her basket and offering it to Twilight. “They’re like cream puffs, but these you fill with something yummy and tasty! Like ice cream, or cotton candy! And then covered in something super sweet!”
Twilight took the pastry from Pinkie with a look of concern. “A.J. help you make these?”
Pinkie laughed. “Oh, no no! These were made by Mrs. Cake herself!”
Twilight, convinced her health wasn’t in danger, took a small bite of the sweet. She chewed the pastry for a bit before her face scrunched up from the explosive burst of sugar. “Hmm, tasty, but far too sweet for me.”
“But aren’t they the bestest treats in the whole world?!” Pinkie mumbled after stuffing another into her mouth.
“I just don’t understand why you like all these sweet things.”
Pinkie just gleamed. “Oh I could go on and on how much I love profiteroles! In fact, I even have a song about it!”
“Of course you do,” Twilight mumbled under her breath.
Pinkie pulled out a small box with buttons from her basket and set it on the nearby table.
“I’m probably going to regret asking this but, what the hay is that?” Twilight asked, flatly.
“Oh, it’s my new Trotman! Watch!” Pinkie laughed. She used a hoof to press one of the buttons on the device, and then stepped back. Shortly, the box began to emit happy bouncy music, which Pinkie immediately started to dance to.
Twilight looked back between Pinkie and her new “toy” and groaned. “Oh great, she’s got a portable band now.”
Ignoring her, Pinkie bounced all around the library, and started to break into song.
Profiteroles are fun to eat!
They’re cream puffs and they’re really sweet!
They’re made of stuff that’s called choux pastry
Not “shoe” like you wear on your feet!
The word is French and it’s weird but neat
Spelled C-H-O-U-X, how crazy!
They’re topped with chocolate
Or powdered sugar...
I want profiteroles all ni-i-ight
And part of every day!
I want profiteroles all ni-i-ight
I’ll share them with you, okay?
Pinkie posed on her hind legs as the music died down, panting and waiting for a reply from Twilight. “See?”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “Pinkie, sometimes the depths of your randomness knows no bounds.”
“Hey, Twi, you got a package!” Spike said as he carried in a small parcel, simply wrapped with an overly large bow on it.. He looked between the stunned Twilight and the excited Pinkie. “Did I just miss something?”
“Oooh, a present! Is it your birthday, Twilight?!”
“No, that was months ago.” Twilight dully replied, going over to look at the mysterious box. “I still haven’t fully recovered from that week-long string of parties you threw for me.”
Spike had set the box on the main table where most of the mess from earlier had been cleared. “It’s not very heavy. Can’t be more books for the library.”
Twilight, already annoyed, pushed Spike out of the way. “Might as well get this opened and out of the way.” Already using her magic to raise the package to her, she came across a gift tag as it slipped out from the bow. “Ah, here we go - ‘To Twilight, from your rival, the Great and Pow... ‘“ She stopped short, realizing with fear who the sender was.
Pinkie, still bounding around with unbridled glee, finished Twilight’s thought “Oh, a package from Trixie!”
Upon saying those words, the parcel started to shake. Twilight dropped of the box and stepped back along with Spike as it rattled. The three watched as the box suddenly tipped over, opening on its own and releasing a miniaturized set of sparkling fireworks and magical pyrotechnics over the table.
“That’s the GREAT and POWERFUL Trixie!”, Trixie’s voice could be heard emitting from the box. The light display coalesced into an animated bust of Trixie’s head, her trademark smirk and magic hat unmistakable.
Twilight already had her hoof on her face. “Oh, this is not what I need right now.”
Trixie’s voice continued on, accompanied by further magical light-show display. “Hello, darling Twilight. The Great and Powerful Trixie hopes you are enjoying this little demonstration of her improved magic, which she has refined by magnitudes since our last contest! The Great and Powerful Trixie wanted to let you know that she’ll be in Ponyville five days from now, and expects you to be ready for her. We’ll finish what we started before. Until then, forever yours, the Great and PowerfulTrixie.” The pyrotechnics came to a climax on the last phrase before disappearing, the box folding back in on itself and remaining still.
Silence filled the room. Spike and Pinkie looked hesitantly at Twilight, who had yet to move a muscle after the box’s sudden opening.
Both remained quiet as Twilight’s heaving breathing became louder. Finally, Spike offered, “Twi, there’s no reason to get ups-”
“I AM NOT UPSET!” Twilight blurted out, and stamped a hoof into the floor. One eye twitch later, Twilight regained her composure, but still remained nervous. “Why does she continue to bother me? Doesn’t she have anypony else to bother?” She sighed heavily, rolling her eyes back momentarily. “This is not good, not good at all! I just can’t lose to Trixie!” Twilight said, starting to pace back and forth across the room.
Spike looked oddly at his friend. “But, Twilight, she wasn’t very powerful when she came by last time! She hardly was a match for you then, right?” he offered.
“But, if she claims she’s boosted her magic, that may mean she’s better than me!” Twilight continued to panic, her pace increasing.
“Why don’t you use one of those charms?” Pinkie said, nodding her head towards the remaining mess on the table. “Didn’t you say they give you more power for your magic?”
“No no, that-” Twilight quickly retorted, but stopped in mid-pace. “Wait, that’s right! Those artifacts can boost anypony’s magical power, even mine! There’s no way that Trixie could match my magical abilities with one of those in my possession!” She turned quickly to face her friends. I’ll just get one of those artifacts-”
Spike softly reminded Twilight. “You mean, the ones that we just sent back to Canterlot as part of that assignment the Princess gave you?”
Twilight uttered a quick “eep”, and backed off that idea, cautiously laughing to herself. “Okay, so we can’t use those! Okay, okay, don’t panic...” her eyes darted around the room. “I’ll just have to make another one then!” she announced. “Just need some gold dust! Spike, can you-”
“Right on it, Twi!” Spike said as he dashed out of the library.
“Huh, what’s going on, Twilight?” Pinkie asked.
“I need to get my hooves on a source of pure gold dust to make a new magical artifact with. I’m all out now, but I’m sure Rarity has some, and Spike’s gone to check.” Twilight rattled off as she went back to clearing her workspace to keep her mind off of Trixie’s eminent arrival.
“Gold?” Pinkie asked.
Twilight continued to clean up the mess, awaiting Spike’s return. “According to my books, while you can infuse magical power into any metal, you need to mix it with pure gold dust. Gold’s the only material that can boost magical energy like that. I’ve got plenty of all the other ingredients to make a new artifact, but I’ve just run short on the gold dust.”
“Hmmmm,” Pinkie thought before coming up with an idea. “Oh! I’m sure lots of ponies here have gold jewelry you could borrow!”
Twilight shook her head while levitating the last of the trashed equipment into the waste bin. “No, no, I’ve tried using gold dust taken from some jewelry, but it just doesn’t work. The stuff’s just not pure enough to hold the magic enchantment. That’s what happened on this last experiment, you see?” Twilight nodded to the collected debris in the bin. “I dare not try that again.”
Pinkie sat on her hindquarters, going deep in thought. “Well, let me think here, where can Twilight get some pure gold?” she muttered.
“Don’t think too hard,” Twilight muttered to herself, still pacing around, looking for any other mess to clean up to avoid worrying about Trixie.
“Gold dust, gold dust....” Pinkie tapped her hoof against her forehead, deep in concentration. “Gold, what do I know that’s gold....”
Twilight ignored her while replacing some of the books that had fallen from the shelves from the explosion, anxious for Spike’s return. “I’m sure it will be alright, Pinkie-”
Spike burst in the front door and raced upstairs. “No good, Twi! Rarity’s waiting on the same shipment as you! So are all the other stores! There’s no gold anywhere in Ponyville!”
Twilight was shocked by the news. “No...gold...?” As she realized what this meant, her ears drooped. “Great. I’m going to become the laughing stock of Ponyville when Trixie arrives.”
“Oh!” Pinkie jumped up, surprising the other two. “I know where you can get something made of pure gold! The Golden Horseshoe!”
Twilight and Spike looked between each other. “The what?” they asked.
“The Golden Horseshoe! It’s the grand prize at the Earthpony Entertainment Extravaganza! They give one away each year!” Pinkie said excitedly, bouncing in front of Twilight.
“The Earthpony whatchamcallit?” Twilight looked perplexed, backing off from Pinkie.
“The Earthpony Entertainment Extravaganza! It’s a yearly event that us earth ponies celebrate to welcome the start of summer.” Pinkie gleamed, still bouncing up and down.
Twilight held out a hoof to stop Pinkie from her hopping. “Wait, wait. Are you sure about this? It’s not just a regular horseshoe painted gold?”
Pinkie shook her head quickly. “Nope! It’s made from the finest pure gold ponies can find!”
Twilight stared a moment at Pinkie, trying to determine if this was all true. Looking away, Twilight muttered to herself, “I could win that, and take just enough of the gold shavings to make this artifact.” She turned back to Pinkie all of a sudden. “Pinkie! Quick! When is this ‘Extravaganza’?!”
Pinkie looked deep in thought. “Hmm, let’s see...oh yeah! This year’s event is tomorrow!”
Twilight was shocked. “TOMORROW?!”
Pinkie continued on, ignoring her panicking friend. “There’s games, and sweets, and prizes, and sweets, and - did I mention sweets?”
Twilight was already lost in thought, pacing the room. “A contest, hmmm. I could win it, collect the Golden Horseshoe prize, get that gold dust, and make it into a new artifact! It will certainly give me enough magical power to defeat Trixie.”
Pinkie shook her head. “Oh, sorry, Twilight, you can’t be a part of it. It’s for earthponies only. Magic is strictly forbidden, and, well, you saw how A.J. put down Dashie last year in that race.”
Pinkie’s news stopped Twilight in her tracks, and after the realization took her, she sagged to the floor. “Great. There’s goes any shot. In a few days, I’m going to be facing downright humiliation when Trixie out-magics me.”
Pinkie came over to nuzzle the desolate pony. “If you really want a Golden Horseshoe, I could go and -”
Twilight waved Pinkie away. “No, no, Pinkie. I could never ask you to participate for me. I’d know it would be fun for you and everything, but I doubt you’d be able to win.”
Spike had walked over to try to cheer Twilight up. “Don’t worry, Twilight. There’s still a lot of ways to get ahead of Trixie.” Spike began mulling it over himself. “Hmm, maybe if we bribed an Ursa Minor.”
Twilight didn’t hear any more, her face perked up in sudden realization. She turned to Spike “Wait, what did you say?”
“We could bribe an Ursa-”
“No, no! Before that!”
“About you still getting ahead?”
Twilight jumped back up on her hooves, more confident than before. “That’s it!” She turned to Pinkie. “Pinkie, are you pondering what I’m pondering?”
“I think so, Twilight, but where are we going to get a duck and a hose at this hour?”
Twilight had opened her mouth to respond, but stopped herself. “Wait, what?”
Pinkie hopped over to the window, pointing out of it. “I said, I think we need to find a hose and a duck. It looks like Fluttershy is helping to make a waterslide for her ducklings over in the fountain, and they just need a little encouragement from their mother.”
Twilight and Spike looked out the window where, indeed, Fluttershy had set up a small slide at the fountain near the library, and was trying to coax the new ducklings down it.
Twilight shook her head to clear the thought. “No no, that’s not what I meant. I have a perfect plan to win that Golden Horseshoe!”
Spike and Pinkie asked in unison, “You do?”
Twilight stood proud. “Yes. It is a completely foolproof plan. And all we need is the help of one other pony...”
Rarity was rolling on the floor of her boutique with laughter. “You want WHAT?” She tried to gasp between laughs.
Twilight rolled her eyes. “You heard me the first time.”
“But … you ... seriously...” Rarity lost it again, giggling to herself.
Twilight sighed, turning to her companions. “You know you two aren’t helping, yes?”
Both Pinkie and Spike leaned against each other, trying to contain their own giggling. Spike blurted out, “You know, it does sound silly when you put it that way...” and struggled to contain a chortle.
Rarity breathed heavily, collecting herself, and getting up off the floor. “Okay, okay, I mean...” she giggled for a moment. “I certainly can do it for you, Twilight my darling, but- “
“But what?!” Twilight said, a bit annoyed at this turn of events.
“Well, clearly it won’t be my best work. I don’t have any dress forms for that to work from, to start. And the shape...and color...” Rarity stated, starting to use her magic to find the right cloth for the job.
“It doesn't need to be perfect, Rarity. Just as long as it does what I ask, I’m sure it will be fine.”
Pinkie still couldn’t contain herself. “I’ve come up with some crazy disguises before, but this really takes the cake, Twilight.” She burst out laughing again, Spike caught up with her.
“It’s really simple. If Rarity can construct a giant fake head that I can wear to cover my horn, no one will question if I’m really an earthpony or not. And I doubt I’ll have any problems besting any of the other earthponies they throw at me. That Golden Horseshoe is as good as mine!”
Pinkie caught her breath. “Well, I dunno, Twilight. There’s a lot of talented earthponies there. And you know earthponies, they like to show off their strength more than anything else.”
Spike nodded, “And I don’t think we need to talk about what happened with plowing this year.” Twilight gave Spike a stare, shutting up the dragon quickly. “Yes, ma’am.”
Twilight let Rarity continue on with her work. “Look, if I hide my horn under this headpiece, they won’t be able to see my magic, which means that I can win any event they throw at me.”
Pinkie looked confused and concerned. “This doesn’t sound like you, Twilight. Why is this Golden Horseshoe so important to you?”
Twilight sighed. “Let me explain again. I need more power to beat Trixie when she comes by in a few days. Your expo is tomorrow with the Golden Horseshoe, something made of pure gold as the grand prize. All I have to do is win it, use just a tiny bit of dust from it, and Trixie won’t stand a chance.”
“But if you really want a Golden Horseshoe, I’ve-”
Twilight cut her off. “No, I would never ask you to compete in such a harsh competition for me. This is the only way this plan works. It’s a perfect plan and completely flawless. Once I get my hooves on that horseshoe, Trixie will never want to step into Ponyville again!” she finished with a strangely evil laugh. She turned to leave the boutique. “Come, Pinkie. I need to return to the library and prepare for tomorrow night.”
Pinkie and Spike looked at each other and shrugged. “Why, what are you going to do tomorrow night?” Pinkie asked.
Twilight turned back, still smiling with an off-kilter grin. “The same thing I do every night Pinkie-”
“Study?” Spike asked, sarcastically.
“Well, yes. Pretty much.” Twilight retorted. ”But hopefully, with my win tomorrow, I’ll be making my new magical artifact so that I can beat Trixie at her own game!” Twilight let out a maniacal laugh.
Pinkie and Spike stood there, their mouths agape, staring at her.
Twilight realized that she was still in her maniacal pose, and quickly came to her senses. “Never mind that, Pinkie! Let’s get back to the library to prepare the rest of my disguise.”
_____
The next morning, Twilight and Pinkie were trotting towards the Earthpony competition, Spike carefully holding onto Twilight to keep himself steady on her back.
Well, at least, a pony that looked like Twilight.
“You look ridiculous in that thing, Twi!” Pinkie couldn’t help but giggle to herself, and went back to whistling her song from the day before. Spike was barely able to hold his own straight face at Pinkie’s comment.
“Yes, like you’ve told me for last hour, Pinkie.” Twilight mumbled, still trying to adjust to the makeshift headpiece. Though it left her face exposed, the rather bulky papier-mâché shell quickly curved out from her forehead to cover her horn, then curved back to cover most of her hair and mane. The entire bulbous thing was given a few scant hairs made of yawn and pitiful excuses for pony ears, making Twilight look more like a crazed genius than her usual self. “I know Rarity could have done better, but this competition starts soon, and I can’t miss it!” Twilight sigh with some desperation. “And please stop it with that silly song of yours about profiteroles.” she said with an angry sideways glance to her friend.
Pinkie quickly ended her whistling, “Oh, sorry, Twilight.”
Twilight glared back at her passenger. “Of course, if someone knew how to use hair curlers.” she began.
Spike gulped, looking back at Twilight’s tail: though dyed to hide Twilight’s tell-tale color streak, its normal fluidity was replaced with an unworkable mess with stiff hair that bent at crazy angles, almost like a lightning bolt. “Hey, I don’t go for all that girly stuff, and you know the mess I have to clean up when we get back home.” Spike sighed. “At least we got your cutie mark covered up enough to hide it from others.” He said, pointing to his handiwork on Twilight’s flank. The normal six-point star-sparkle had been painted over to cover up two of the points and darken the color.
Twilight sighed as the three came to a stop at the crest of a hill, the Expo fairgrounds coming into view. The breaking sun had crested over the nearby mountains, throwing long shadows against the various tents, fields, and stands, all decorated with colorful banners and ribbons. Already crowds could be seen gathering, either practicing for their events, or milling about the stands getting ready to watch the competition. “Still, I doubt anyone will recognize me like th-”
“I still recognize you, silly!” Pinkie said, hopping with glee.
Twilight sighed again. “Which reminds me, Pinkie and Spike. You must address me as ‘Dusky Sheen’, and if anyone thinks they recognize me, just let them know that Dusky is Twilight’s distant cousin from the city of Hoovston. You got that?”
Spike chuckled, knocking lightly on the back of Twilight’s headpiece. “Well, at least that way you can explain why your head’s so big, considering how much bigger things are down there...”
“Spiiiiike...”
“Just kidding!”
The three headed down into the waiting ponies. Though Twilight noticed a lot of familiar faces, nopony seemed to be paying attention to her, much to her relief.
That is, until a certain orange-colored pony raced up to shake her hoof rather vigorously.
“Well, I’ll be! I’ve not seen you around these parts. My name’s Applejack, but everypony just calls me A.J.!” she beamed, still shaking Twilight’s hoof.
“Oh, we-” Twilight caught herself speaking in her normal voice and quickly switched to a deeper tone she had practiced on the way here. “Uh, yes, I’m, um, Dusky Sheen.”
“Well, Dusky! Nice ta’ meet you!” Applejack finally let her hoof down, leaving Twilight visibly shaking. “Where’s parts of ‘Questria are you from?”
“Oh, um, well...” Twilight sought to regain control of her shaking hoof. “I’m actually from down south, over near Hoovston...”
“Oh, that’s where my cousin Apple Fritter is abouts! Did you ever visit his apple farm? It’s one of the biggest in the land!”
“Um, no... I’m not familiar with it.” Twilight fumbled, worried that her cover was going to be blown before the competition even started.
“Oh, no biggie! When you get back, just look him up and tell him that his cousin A.J. said ‘Hi!’” Applejack finally appeared to notice Pinkie and Spike nearby. “Hey, guys, what’re you doing here with Dusky?”
Pinkie and Spike looked at each other. “Oh, um...” Pinkie couldn’t get anything out.
“We’re here to help Dusky get into the competition!” Spike announced with a bit too much eagerness. “She’s Twilight’s second cousin, and unfortunately Twi had to be called away to Canterlot for official business. So she asked us to help Dusky!”
“Well, that’s awfully nice of ya! Here, let’s get Dusky all signed up.” Applejack offered a hoof, showing them to a table where several other ponies were milling about.
“Nice catch, Spike,” Twilight whispered to her dragon.
“Thanks. Next time, let’s get our backstories straight before we arrive, okay?” Spike whispered.
Applejack led the way to an open spot, and Twilight started giving over her fake identity to the registrar while Applejack, Pinkie, and Spike talked. A reddish young stallion trotted up to the spot beside her. “Eeyup.” he nodded to Twilight.
Twilight looked over and almost greeted Big Macintosh by name but caught herself. “Hi B- oh, hi there.”
Applejack caught the conversation. “Hey, Big Macintosh! That’s Twi’s cousin! I wouldn’t be goin’ there if I were you.”
“He’s competing too?” Twilight asked, and taking her number tag, 42, from the register pony.
“Finally.” Applejack sarcastically replied. “He’s been in some type of injury every year before, but this is the first time he’s finally fit as a fiddle to join in. That right, Big Macintosh?” She prodded her brother in the side.
Big Macintosh winced in a bit of pain. “Eeyup, that’s right. Finally going to show my little sis how this thing is done and actually win the whole competition.”
“Wait, you haven’t won this before?” Twilight asked, nervously. “I - I mean, Twilight said that you were one of the best earth ponies around.”
Applejack nodded vigorously.“Ohhh, I’ve come mighty close, but always miss it on the last event! It’s always that, and I never know how I’m going to beat P-”
A loudspeaker crackled to life. “I’d like to welcome everypony to this year’s Earthpony Entertainment Extravaganza!” the announcer blared over the megaphone.
The assembled ponies all cheered at the news. The announcer cleared his throat and shouted into the megaphone to make himself heard over the roar. “All the competitors please assemble for the first event, the apple pull!”
Twilight gulped. “Well, Spike, here goes nothing.” She set off, following the other ponies to a nearby dirt field.
As the other ponies worked themselves into their harnesses, Spike finished fastening Twilight’s. “Are you sure about this? You can still back out. I mean, remember what happened when you tried to help plow that snow away?” He asked quietly.
Twilight rolled her eyes. “Spike, I’ve gotten much better control over my powers. And look,” she waved a hoof at the dry field ahead of her, “That’s not going to be that hard to pull through. This should be a piece of cake!”
The announcer’s voice blared over the loudspeaker. ”Fillies and gentlecolts, take your positions!”
Spike climbed up onto the cart, settling into position atop the pile of apples that were nearly overflowing with it. “If you say so, Twilight.” He said with caution.
“Look, all I need to do is use magic to lift the cart just off the ground, and then keep pace with the lead ponies until the last stretch and take the lead. There’s nothing that can slow me down now!”
The loudspeaker rang out again. “And now, let’s have a big welcome for the recently-crowned ‘Best Flier in Equestria, Junior Division’, Rainbow Dash, who will make final preparations for the competition!” From out of nowhere, a rainbow-colored dart shot over the field and made a wide turn as it slowed down, revealing the pegasus pony, towing a line of dark grey clouds behind her. After bowing to the roars of the crowd, the pegasus took each cloud in series, and quickly jumped repeatedly on each, soaking the once dusty field into a mud pit. And just as quickly as she arrived, Rainbow Dash pulled the now-white clouds back into the sky, the hoof-stomps of applause still cheering her arrival.
Twilight, of course, could only stare on at the muddy field, her eye twitching just a bit. “Okay, Twilight, you can still do this.”
Before she could collect her thoughts, the announcer rang out the countdown “Alright, let’s get this year’s competition started! Ponies! On your marks! Ready...GO!”
The other earth ponies quickly trotted out into the muddy field, slowing down to a crawl as soon as their carts hit the wet mud. All kept their forward momentum going, but clearly both Big Macintosh and Applejack were taking the early lead over the other ponies. Twilight, momentarily confused by the sudden start, raced out to follow her fellow competitors, but as soon as the cart wheel hit the mud, it pulled her to a stop, sending her skittering face first into the field. “Ooooffff” Twilight groaned.
Spike, from atop the wagon, tried to cheer Twilight on. “Come on, ‘Dusky’! You’re going to use your magic, right? Now’s the best time to do it, while they’re all focused on the leaders!”
Twilight lifted herself up from the mud, shaking the dirt from her face and costume. “You’re right, Spike!” Twilight concentrated just enough to give the cart a bit of lift from the mud, the glowing of her magic concealed by her headpiece. With the cart barely touching the ground, Twilight began walking through the mud again, but now at a much easier pace, and quickly gained up with the other ponies.
“And Big MacIntosh’s still in the lead but he better watch out for his sister, she’s coming up strong, and... what’s this? Dusky’s making a comeback from the back of the pack!” the announcer roared, accompanied by the cheering fans.
Twilight had pulled ahead of the pack, and was now only a few yards away from the finish. She quickly glanced over, seeing both Big Macintosh and Applejack, their legs covered in mud, clearly exhausted from the effort. Remembering what she learned from the Running of the Leaves, Twilight paced herself until the last moment and then took a deep breath and trotted ahead. Her later spritn allowed her to cross the finish line just ahead her friends. The crowd stomped hooves in amazement as Twilight crashed down to the ground, exhausted.
“Amazing, everypony! Dusky just came from behind to win the apple cart pull!”
Twilight was still dizzy with exhaustion when Applejack and Big Macintosh, both winded, walked up beside her.
“Hoowee, I’ve never seen a burst of speed like that before!” Applejack praised her, offering a hoof up. Big Macintosh simply nodded, “Eeyup” in response.
Twilight got back to her hooves, “Well, I-” quickly stopping herself and returning to her deeper voice “Well, you know how it is down in Hoovston, how everything’s bigger and all that.”, trying to divert the attention from herself.
“Oh, now, don’t go bein’ so humble! You pulled a mean wagon, bett’n I ever could!”
While Applejack was congratulating her, one of the officials came over, unbridling the cart from Twilight. “Excuse me, ma’am, we just need to make sure you didn’t lose any apples on the way over.”
Twilight thought nothing of it, and after thanking Applejack and Big Macintosh, went over to where several glasses of water were set up for the competitors to refresh themselves. Spike quickly followed while Pinkie hopped in from the stands.
“Wow, Tw- I mean, Dusky! That was amazing!” Pinkie cooed.
Twilight panted after taking a large drink before going back for more. “I can’t believe I did it.” she squeaked out, still exhausted from the effort.
“I mean, you even beat A.J.! She almost never loses this event!”
The dull roar of the crowd was broken up by the announcer. “Fillies and gentlecolts! We have an important announcement! After official review, it appears that Dusky had dropped one of her apples, and will receive a 2 second penalty!”
Twilight was dumbfounded “Wait, what?! There was no way my magic would have caused an apple to come out of the cart!” she told her friends.
“With that, Dusky has fallen to third place, and the win goes to Big Macintosh, followed by Applejack!” the announcer continued, the crowd cheering the news. Already, on a large scoreboard, pegasus ponies were arranging the cards with the competitors names to reflect the new standings.
“But, but....” Twilight thought deep and hard, and even darted over to the field looking along her lane for any dropped apples. “But there’s nothing here! I didn’t drop a single app-” It struck Twilight quickly, and she turned to glare at Spike, still standing and talking with Pinkie. “Spiiiike!.” she uttered with that tone.
Spike saw the angry look on Twilight’s face as she approached him. “Um, hi Tw- I mean, Dusky.”
“You didn’t happen to eat any of the apples on my cart, did you?” She snorted at him.
Spike suddenly realized what he had done, and quickly backed away from her. “Only a small one! I didn’t think it would matter!”
“Spike,” Twilight mumbled. “If I didn’t know better...”
“Oh, don’t worry about it, Twi!” Pinkie said, all smiles to break up the situation. “There’s so many more events, and I’m sure you’ll win the rest! Don’t let just one go to your head!”
Twilight took a deep breath, recollecting herself. “You’re right, Pinkie. It’s only a few points for the overall competition. I should be able to make that up easily!” She looked sideways at Spike. “As long as somepony doesn’t interfere again.”
Spike nervously chuckled. “I’ll make sure to read the rules next time, I promise.”
Twilight looked around, watching as her fellow competitors started to head towards the next event. “Come, let’s get ready for this next competition, whatever it may be.”
“Caber whatsmacallit?!” Twilight asked Pinkie, completely baffled.
“Caber bucking! You take a big ol’ pole and try to buck it as far as you can over on that field there! It’s really easy-peasy!” Pinkie smiled proudly.
Twilight peered behind her, where ponies, including Applejack and Big Macintosh, were practicing for the event.
“But those poles are huge! There’s no way I can do that!”
“Don’t be silly. Look at A.J.” Pinkie pointed. As they watched, two other ponies helped to balance the long wooden pole onto Applejack’s back. After getting an okay by her spotters, the orange pony ran forward, fast enough to keep the pole from falling forward and then giving a good buck at the last minute when she reached the field. The pole sailed end over end, cleanly landing into the lane, to the roar of the cheering crowd. Moments later, another pole - Big MacIntosh’s - landed in the next lane over, just a few inches short of Applejack’s mark.
Twilight and Pinkie could hear Applejack chiding her brother playfully for his weaker attempt from where they were standing.
“You seriously expect me to do that?!” Twilight moaned.
“You can do it, Tw- I mean, Dusky!” Pinkie quickly corrected herself. “Here, I know what will cheer you up!” she smiled. She quickly raced over to the basket that she brought to the expo and grabbed the small box. Pressing another button in it, a jaunty tune started up from it as Pinkie took a deep breath.
“Oh, don’t tell me you have-” Twilight started, but then realized it was pointless and put her face in her hoof. “Oh, why do I even bother...”
Pinkie started singing, bounding around Twilight in time to the music.
All you have to do is take a rough-trimmed tree trunk, balance it straight up
Now just get a good running start and toss it, give it a good flip!
Bucking a caber takes great strength, but also good agility
Practice every day until you can say you’ve got enough ability!
Cabers, so long and wooden
Cabers, not soft like puddin’
Cabers!
Cabers, Cabers, Cabers!
Pinkie finally stopped, gleaming to herself and a small audience that had gathered. “See, it’s that easy!”
Twilight was still staring at the underside of her hoof, wishing she could be someone else right about now. “Let me guess, you learned that one from your Granny.”
“Don’t be silly! She wasn’t that strong of a mare! That one, I learned from my uncle Pecan!”
Twilight hadn’t moved, but only let out a slow sigh. “Spike, remind me not to ask these questions again of Pinkie.”
Fortunately for Twilight, she heard her pseudonym called from the caber field. “Well, here goes nothing.”
“Good luck, Tw- er, Dusky!” Pinkie shouted after her, and then went back to humming the song.
Twilight got in position and started to judge the distance to the target lane. She mumbled to herself and braced for the weight of the log. “Okay, Twilight, you can do this, look how easy A.J. did it.“ She moaned in pain as the spotter set the log on her backside, but took a deep breath. As soon as she got the all clear, she shot forward, remembering what Applejack had just done before. Inches from the marked line, Twilight dug her front hooves into the ground, completely stopping her forward momentum, aiding her in launching the log with a final kick. However, she couldn’t stop her own body from continuing, and with the weight of her disguise, continued to fall forward, landing painfully on her back.
But the log was certainly moving in the right direction, appearing to have the same distance that Applejack had just thrown, at least judging by the crowd’s reaction. Twilight struggled to reorient herself to make sure the caber landed cleanly.
“Oh no, it’s going to land too short!” Twilight panicked, and quickly began to cast subtle magic on the pole, making it spin a bit more in the right direction, just enough that it would get one last turn on the ground, she hoped. The crowd, unaware of her magic, became quiet and gasped as the pole neared the ground. “Ohpleaseohpleaseohplease...” Twilight prayed.
The log hit the ground, a few inches short of Applejack’s mark, but was already teetering to fall forward. “Yes!” Twilight thought to herself. The audience let out a collective gasp, waiting for the pole to drop.
The caber suddenly fell back the other way, slamming hard into the ground in her lane. Twilight could only look on flabbergasted. “Oh, of all the...” before falling back to the ground.
The crowd broke into cheers as the announcer gave the results. “Oh, a bad fall for Dusky on her toss but still good enough for second place! The event goes to Applejack!”
Applejack came over to Twilight. “Well now, I’ve never seen a style like that, but that was a good try!”
Twilight simply sighed in frustration. “Please tell me it gets easier?”
“Heck, no! The fun’s just startin’! We’ve got a whole afternoon of competition left,” A.J. offered her hoof to help her fellow competitor up.
Twilight just went back to burying her head in the ground, sighing to herself. “Why did I let Pinkie talk me into this?”
----
Over the next several hours, Twilight tried to keep up with the other earth ponies competing in the events of the day. All the events were brutally physical: a part marathon and steeplechase over several miles, a tug-of-war elimination contest, and even hoof-to-hoof wrestling. And then there was the pie-eating contest, to which Twilight vowed never to eat another pie again for a whole month. Yet, somehow, through both her wits and magic, Twilight managed to eke out a high placing, but never enough to win any single event. Meanwhile, Applejack and Big Macintosh were at a dead heat for first place, constantly vying the lead between first place finishes in several of the contests. By the end of the long, grueling day, it was clear who the front-runners were: Applejack, Big Macintosh, and “Dusky”.
The sun was just starting to creep below the tips of the distant mountains. Twilight had come off the last event and collapsed by the edge of the fairgrounds. Spike met her, bringing a bottle of apple juice. Twilight clearly had seen better days - a few bandages covered her body where she had some scratches, while she moped on her back, staring blanking into the sky. Her costume clearly was on its last legs - the stitching was unraveling in places, and there was even a small hole where the papier-mâché had fallen out, and the various styling applied to her mane and tail was wearing out. Surprisingly, no one had questioned her about it.
“Here you go, Tw- uhhh Dusky.” Spike offered her the bottle.
“Oh Spike, what am I going to do? All my magic is backfiring on me, and I can’t win any event! And there’s only one left!”
“But you’re in third place behind A.J. and Big Macintosh! There’s still enough points left for you to win the whole thing!”
Twilight weakly took a sip from the straw in the bottle. “But that’s the whole point, Spike! It’s going to be another grueling event that they’re going to have the strength advantage in, and my magic isn’t helping!”
“I dunno, maybe it’s something eas-” Spike tried to offer.
“No no, I’m sure it’ll be something ‘fun’ like wrestling alligators or climbing to the top of Mount Equestria. And even if I try to use my magic, something’s bound to happen to throw me off. Face it, Spike, I might as well quit now, there’s no way I’m getting that Golden Horseshoe now.”
“Did someone say Golden Horseshoe?!” Pinkie exclaimed, quickly trotting over to the two. “You know you can still win it here, Twilight!”
“That’s ‘Dusky’, Pinkie. But it’s too late for that now! I might as well drop out.”
“But you’ll love this last event! It’s practically made for you!”
“What, being stung by bees? Being chased by snakes?” Twilight narrowed her eyes at Pinkie. “Don’t tell me your Pinkie sense is acting up again?”
“No no, it’s never something like that, silly!” Pinkie prodded Twilight on her sides, trying to help her up, but only managing to elicit a weak bit of pain from her friend. “The last event is always something fun and enjoyable!”
Twilight moaned, struggling to roll over to get herself up. “Then, what, pray-tell, is it? A marathon? Throwing rocks? Pulling yet another cart of apples?”
Pinkie giggled. “No , don’t be silly, nothing that hard! It’s a trivia contest!”
“Great, just what I wa-” Twilight stopped, the realization suddenly kicking in. “A … trivia contest?!”
“Yup! You get asked a lot of questions and the pony with the most right answers at the end wins!” Pinkie exclaimed with glee.
Twilight wasn’t listening. Her eye twitching, she suddenly came alive with new vigor. “A trivia contest. I can do this. I’m the smartest pony in Ponyville. Maybe even all of Equestria!”
“That’s debatable.” Spike muttered.
Twilight ignored the aside, jumped to her feet, and grabbed Pinkie. “And I just need to win this to take the entire competition?!”
“Well, yes, that’s why it’s only the top three competitors playing in it. That’s you, A.J., and Big Macintosh!”
Twilight grinned, probably just a bit too manically for a normally sane pony. “Oh, this is going to be great! I’ll easily win that and that Golden Horseshoe will be mine! MINE!” she laughed. Somewhere, in the distance, a crack of thunder was heard.
Both Spike and Pinkie looked at Twilight awkwardly. “Uh, ‘Dusky’ are you okay?” Spike asked tentatively.
Twilight, already muttering to herself of how she’ll tell off Trixie when she wins the contest, was snapped back to reality. “Oh, right right. I still need to actually win this contest. Lead the way, Pinkie!”
“Sure thing, ‘Dusky’!” Pinkie smiled, whistling her profiteroles song again as she trotted away.
“And please stop whistling that song.” Twilight sneered in frustration as she fell in line behind Pinkie.
Night had settled in on a small lit stage surrounded by stands, the large crowd waiting in anticipation. Twilight, Applejack, and Big Macintosh were already up on stage, each behind their own podium. While the siblings were making small talk with each other, Twilight couldn’t wipe the smile from her face, knowing that she was about to win this whole thing. “At least this day won’t go to waste.” She mumbled to herself.
Suddenly the crowd roared as a new figure took position behind another podium on the stage. The announcer blared over the audience “And now, for our final event, the trivia challenge! And today, we’re pleased to announce that we’ve got a special guest host today - let’s welcome Alex Trubuck, the host of Equestria’s favorite quiz program, ‘Jeopony’!” The new pony stepped into the limelight, a dashing older stallion, to the roar of the audience.
“Thank you, thank you, I’m glad to be here! I know you’ve all been waiting for this event, so why don’t we just get started?” Alex said, and with a flourish, waved to the curtain at the back of the stage, revealing a large board with a number of wooden signs with odd phrases on it; a handful of pegasus ponies waited nearby.
As the crowd started to quiet down, Alex addressed the competitors. “Well, I know normally you’re read the questions and have to provide the answers, but the Earth Pony Competition committee decided that this year, we’re going to run this like on Jeopony - I’ll give you the answers and you have to provide me with the question. Understood?”
Applejack and Big Macintosh were clearly on board: Applejack nodding her head vigorously, while Big Macintosh uttered his simple “Eeyup”. Twilight, on the other hoof, was a bit more incredulous. “Wai-” and then quickly shifting to her deeper “Wait, in the form of a question?” she tried to ask but it was already too late.
Alex directed a hoof towards Big Macintosh, “We’ve drawn names randomly, so you get to choose the first category, Big Macintosh.”
Big Macintosh looked at the board, and quickly focused on one column. “Math’matics for 1 point, Alex”. he said, giving a quick side-wise grin to his sister.
Two of the pegasi in the wings quickly flew up to the top board in the column and flipped the sign around, revealing an answer which Alex read for the competitors and the audience. “This special number, would be baking it.”
Twilight’s hoof was already stamping up and down on her button. “Oh, oh! I know!” she yelped, trying to get Alex’s attention.
Alex looked a bit oddly at Twilight. “Dusky, you did ring in first, but I remind you you don’t need to be so eager with it.”
Twilight blushed, and cleared her throat as the audience has a laugh at her expense. “Oh, ri-” momentary forgetting her deeper voice. “Oh, right, sorry. The answer is ‘pi’.” She exclaimed.
Alex still shook his head. “Tsk, I’m sorry, that’s not in the form of a question.” Twilight look dumbfounded as Alex turned to Big Macintosh. “You rang in next, Big Macintosh.”
“What is a ‘pi’?, eeyup.” Big Macintosh said confidently. The crowd cheered as Alex nodded. “Correct, one point for Big Macintosh”. On a second tally board, a pegasus pony quickly placed up a “1” sign next to Big MacIntosh’s name.
As they worked, Twilight thought carefully, Ah, so that’s how it’s done, hmm? Next time I’ll get it.
Applejack muttered to her brother. “You and your fancy mathematics.” Big Macintosh couldn’t help but smile as he picked the next category. “Math’matics for 2 points, Alex.”
The pegasi ponies went to work and soon another answer was revealed. “The proof to this theory was claimed to be written on the margin of a scroll.” Alex said.
Twilight was quick on the buzzer, but remembered the last question, waiting for Alex to call on her. “What is Fermat’s Last Theorem?”
“That is correct, two points to Dusky!”
The crowd roared as Twilight gave the next category. “Let’s try ‘Arcane Rituals’ for 1, Alex.”
Alex nodded, pulling and reading the card from his stack as the answer was revealed to the contestants. “This ritual is often performed by mixing gold with other ingredient so that unicorns can enchant the end product.”
Twilight was just about to step on the buzzer, assured of her answer, but was shocked when she heard another buzzer go off.
“Big Macintosh, your question?”
“What is infusion, eeyup?” the red pony nodded, knowingly. Both Twilight and Applejack gasped a bit at the response.
“That is correct, 1 point to Big Macintosh!” Alex replied, and again the audience cheered. Twlight stared down the bigger horse. Must have been a lucky guess. She thought to herself as she turned back for the next question.
“‘Arcane Rituals’ for 2, Alex,” Big Macintosh said with conviction.
Alex read off the question. “This ingredient for many potions is what gives them their foul aft-” he got out before he was interrupted.
Twilight was already on the buzzer, interrupting the host. “What is dragon’s blood?”
“That is correct! Two points to Dusky!” Alex said, but was lost in the cheers of the crowd, knowing they had a battle of wits between the two competitors.
Twilight gave Big Macintosh a knowing stare before going back to the board. Soon, both of them were in one of the closest trivia matches that the earthponies had ever seen, rattling off their answers that even Alex had trouble keeping up:
“What is Fillidelphia?”
“What is a chimera?”
“Who is Star Swirl the Bearded?”
“What is a Regis Fillybin?”
The audience was enthralled by Twilight’s and Big MacIntosh’s performance. Most were leaning forward in muted excitement as the two cleared the first board between them. Poor Applejack could only look down at her buzzer, having known most of the answers but beaten to the punch by her competitors. “Are you sure this thin’ on?” she sarcastically asked Alex after Twilight gave the final question of the round.
“And that’s our first round, folks!” Alex announced. “Looks like it’s a tie between out-of-towner Dusky and Big Macintosh! There’s still plenty of time left in the next round for Applejack to make her comeback though!” he quickly added, noting the troubled look on her face. “But let’s take a quick break while we prepare for the next round!” The audience applauded as the stageponies went to work.
“Big Macintosh!” Applejack faced her brother. “Why didn’t you tell me you were that smart?” she demanded.
The older pony gave the briefest of smug looks before replying stoically. “Well, maybe there’s not a lot that you don’t know about me, eeyup?”
“And, wow! Dusky!” Applejack pointed to Twilight with her hoof. “You definit’ly must be Twi’s cousin! Them smarts must run in your family!”
“Well, yes....” Twilight laughed in her false voice. “We’re just a bunch of eggheads, I guess.” she tried to offer, trying to deflect attention.
Big Macintosh nodded in agreement with Applejack. “Eeyup, this is going to be really interesting next round.”
“Well, you’re not so bad yourself, Big Macintosh,” Twilight offered. She was surprised at his depths of knowledge, but realized that she never really asked him much about it before.
Applejack prodded her brother in his side. “Hey, no flirting! You don’t want Twilight to magic you away or anythin’?!” she warned, but then returned to her normally jovial self, nodding her head in the direction of table with refreshments. “Let’s go get somethin’ to drink. Comin’, Dusky?”
Twilight quickly shook her head. “Oh, no no! You two go on ahead!”
Pinkie bounced over to Twilight, followed on her heels by Spike. “Wow, Twi-er, Dusky! You’re doing awesome!” Pinkie cheered.
“Naturally.” Twilight nodded in agreement. “I am one smart pony, you know.”
“I mean, I’ve never seen a tie after the first round! You and Big Macintosh are doing awesome!”
“Hey, I never knew the big guy had smarts in him, did you?” Spike asked.
“Oh, he’s really really smart!” Pinkie quickly said. “He just doesn’t like to show off, that big sissy.”
“Speaking of showing off...” Twilight interrupted. “He’s going to make this more challenging for me to win this, and I need this win! Pinkie, what happens in the rest of the game so I’m ready for any more ‘surprises’ they might throw at me?”
Pinkie smiled. “Well, you got a second round of answers and questions for more points, and then there’s the final round! And that’s the most exciting round! They’ll be a final answer and you have to bet how many points you want to get it right, and the pony with the most points after that is the winner!” Pinkie rattled off.
Spike was quickly doing some calculations on his claws. “That means you have to stay ahead of Big Macintosh in next round!” he declared.
Twilight rolled her eyes, sighing heavily. “Why does everything have to be this hard?” She complained to nopony in particular.
Their conversation was broken up by a stagepony, directing the contestants back to the stage.
The second round went by quickly, nearly a repeat of the first. Twilight and Big Macintosh fought back and forth on control of the board, clearly column after column of trivia. The crowd grew more anxious on every right question that Twilight and Big Macintosh gave, watching their scores rack up quickly. Applejack, still trying to beat the two to the buzzer, managed to wiggle her way into a few points, but was woefully behind their commanding lead.
Finally, the round was over; the audience, though still audible, spoke in hushed tones admiring both “Dusky’s" and Big MacIntosh’s knowledge while the contestants took a breather. Twilight, after realizing the round was finally over, took a look at the scoreboard: she had only a one point lead on Big Macintosh, enough that she should still win even if the bigger pony got it right, but by the narrowest of margins.
Alex Trubuck cleared his throat as he trotted back up to the podium, causing the crowd to fall to a hush. “Well, it’s time for the final question, and I must say, I’ve never see a situation like this. This is the closest tie that I’ve ever seen in years of hosting Jeopony.” The proclamation caused the audience to give out a rousing round of hoofclaps.
As the noise died down, Alex nodded to the contestants. “Well, as you know, this is the final round, and will decide not only the winner of this content, but also the grand champion of the Earthpony Entertainment Extravaganza.” He lowered his head below the podium to bring up a plaque with his teeth, placing it on display. Everypony could see the gold glinting off it. “And to the winner goes this solid gold Golden Horseshoe award.” Again, the audience drowned the stage with another roar of applause.”
“Contestants,” Alex continued, “as you know, in this final round, you will bet some or all of your points on one last answer. Get it right, and we add those points to your score. Get it wrong, and we’ll take it away. Whoever has the most points after this, wins! Everypony understand?”
Applejack, despite being in a clear last place, didn’t let the foregone conclusion take away her cheerful mood, and nodded vigorously. Meanwhile, Twilight and Big Macintosh had been staring at each other, their eyes locked with a vicious glare, a silent dare between the two. Only after a small cough from Alex did the two look away from each other and gave their silent nods of understanding.
“Well, then,” Alex coughed and motioned to the final board, where one pegasus flipped over the first of two boards. “The final category is ‘Confectioneries’. Contestants, write down how much you wager.”
Applejack wasted no time and quickly wrote out a single figure on their boards using the provided brush. Twilight and Big Macintosh stared again at each other, before slowly drawing their respective brushes and writing down their own wagers.
A stagepony gathered the boards and brought them over to the main podium. “Now, grab your brushes, for here is your final answer...”
The crowd hushed with excitement as the pegasus turned over the last board.
“‘This pastry dessert, a French delicacy, is often filled with a sweet, cream-like filling within its puffy center.”
Somewhere in Twilight’s mind, something crashed and ground to a halt. She could only stare at the question, her face going all forlorn. She didn’t know this.
“Think, Twilight! Think!” her inner voice yelled at her. Her eyes started darting as hundreds of ponies stared at her. She caught a glance at her friends: Spike was trying to mime eating something yummy, while Pinkie was... that dance looked familiar, didn’t she just do it this early today to something....?
“Um... ummmm....” Twilight mumbled, trying to find some answer. She glanced in a panic at her competitors, who were calmly finishing off brushing out their answers. Sweat poured off her brow, and she was visibly trembling from the attention, realizing that the entire audience was watching her carefully.
“Five seconds, Dusky....” Alex whispered, fearing to break her concentration. The audience gasped and leaned in more, anticipating her answer.
Twilight panicked, and grabbed the brush in her mouth, quickly writing out an answer.
“And that’s time!” Alex announced. Twilight looked down, the brush still in her mouth, and realized what she just wrote. “Oh, no...” she groaned to herself, dropping the brush to the ground, and thunked her headpiece down onto her stand.
“We’ll start with Applejack, since you have the fewest points. What is your question?”
Applejack used her hooves to reveal her board to everyone. “Oh, I knew this, easy! My aunt made these all’en time. ‘What are profiteroles?’” she ended repeating with what she wrote on the board.
“That is correct!” Alex announced, accompanied by a loud cheer from the crowd. “And it looks like you bet all your points,” he continued, flipping over the board they had collected earlier and in third place. “You’re still in third place, but let’s move onto your brother. Big Macintosh, what did you write down?”
The audience, anticipating the conclusion of the close contest, pulled forward to the edges of their seats, a hush falling over them. Big Macintosh, however, was already frowning. Shaking his head, he flipped his board, muttering a simple “eenope”.
Alex read the board off for the rest of the ponies. “‘What is a cream puff?’ No, I’m sorry, that’s wrong, as you know.” The crowd groaned in sympathy with the wrong answer. “And let’s see how much you wagered?” Alex asked, taking the moment to turn the wager board himself. “Looks like you bet everything you had, meaning that you’ve fallen to third place, behind Applejack.”
“And finally, we turn to Dusky Sheen,” Alex said with excitement, which the audience quickly picked up on and began chatty eagerly. Pinkie was already starting to dance again, expecting Twilight get the last question right.
Twilight had yet to move since she wrote her answer, her head still face down on her podium. However, hearing her false identity called, she used a single hoof to lift her board for everyone to see, the rest of her body otherwise unmoving.
Alex looked carefully at Twilight’s answer, reading the nearly-illegible writing. “And your question seems to be...‘What is a Pinkie Pie?’”
The entire crowd let out an exasperated sigh. Spike facepalmed himself while Pinkie, caught in mid-step of her dance, fell over with a silent thud. Twilight could only let out another exasperated gasp at the collective reaction, her head still firmly planted face-first into the stand.
“Um, I’m sorry, Dusky, as you know, that’s the wrong question.” Alex said, almost apologetically. But, as the professional host, Alex quickly took charge of the situation. “Well, certainly, that’s not the end of the game, let’s just see how m-”
“All of it...” Twilight blurted out, her head still on the podium.
Alex had just finished turning over Twilight’s board, seeing her total written on it, accompanied by the audience giving out a collective sigh. “Well, um...” Alex coughed again and tried to regain his composure. “W-well, that leaves Dusky with zero points... and that means that Applejack has come from behind to win this year’s Earthpony Entertainment Extravaganza!”
The crowd went wild, and Alex could barely complete his announcements among its roar.
The sky had filled with a nearly full moon against the starscape, with a few wisps of clouds here and there. By now, nearly all of the competitors and audience had left the fairgrounds, a few ponies behind helping to tear down the temporary structures.
Twilight had yet to move from the podium, the giant headpiece still planted firmly against the top of it. The stageponies, trying to disassemble the set, worked around her, keeping a clear distance from her.
Pinkie came over, Spike riding on her back. “Um, Twi?” Pinkie asked.
Twilight finally showed a sign of life, turning in the giant head to look to Pinkie. “I lost.” she whispered.
“Well, du- “Pinkie was about to respond but quickly caught herself. Spike covered for her. “You still got second place!”
“Oh great. A supply of apples for a whole year.” Twilight blurted out while rolling her eyes. “Maybe I can spit apple seeds at Trixie when she arrives.”
Pinkie and Spike looked at each other, clearly concerned. “C’mon Twilight, let’s get you home.” Pinkie offered her hoof to lead Twilight away.
Twilight only turned her head back, now looking straight over the top of the podium. “Why bother? Trixie is going to best me, and I’m going to lose, and then… oh, I don’t even want to think what Trixie is going to make me do.” Twilight sighed heavily.
Spike jumped off Pinkie. “Come on, Twilight. It’s not that bad, it is only Trixie after all.”
Twilight finally turned away from the podium. “Only Trixie?! She’s going to brag up a storm, and that’s only the start of it!” Twilight started leading them away from the stage. “She’ll probably start by having me clean her wagon, using just a toothbrush! Maybe not even that!”
Twilight led the other two back over several miles of roads, continuing to rattle off what Trixie may do to her. She only came to realize the extent of her troubles by the time they got to the bridge into Ponyville.
“...and then, she’ll make me fix her Smartypants doll without using magic-” Twilight continued, clearly having talked her inner dialog since leaving the contest.
Pinkie finally caught up to her. “Twi! Hold on, it’s not that bad!”
Twilight was broken out of her intense thoughts at that. “I don’t know how it can get any worse. I’m going to lose to Trixie, that’s the harsh reality.” Tears were welling up in Twilight’s eyes.
Pinkie smiled to try to cheer Twilight up. “Oh, Twi! Here, come back with me to the Sugarcube Corner. I’ve got something for you!” Pinkie bounded ahead of her friend, who plodded slowly along behind her. “I don’t know what could make me feel any better.” Twilight muttered.
Pinkie led the way to her upstairs room at the bakery, and bounded over to her cupboard.“ Just wait right there, Twilight.” Pinkie threw open one door and started rummaging through the junk within the cupboard, throwing out items left and right behind her without .
Spike was able to dodge most of the oddities that Pinkie had launched across the room, but Twilight, still in her stupor, was blindsided by a teddy bear that smacked her across the head. “Hey, watch it.” She turned to tell Pinkie, and stopped short. A glint of light from the cupboard door caught her eye.
“Uhhh, Pinkie? What’s that?” She asked, timidly.
“What’s what?” Pinkie shouted, still furiously looking for something.
“On your cupboard door...” Twilight lifted a hoof and pointed, almost trembling.
“On my what?” Pinkie stuck her head out to look at the backside of the open door. “Oh, that! That’s just my Golden Horseshoe award!” and immediately turned back to rummaging in the cabinet.
Spike was already over by the wardrobe, reading the inscription on the plaque. “Twilight, she won this last year!”
Twilight was at a loss for words.
“Oh, yeah, that was a great competition last year! A.J. almost beat me but I was able to win in the trivia contest!” Pinkie explained over the sounds of shuffling through her associated curios.
“Y- you won the Earthpony Entertainment Extravaganza?!” Twilight blurted out.
“Of course I did, silly! Oh that’s right, you hadn’t moved to Ponyville yet, but it was big news all over here! And there was a big party and everything!”
“Let me guess, one that you planned yourself.” Twilight muttered under her breath.
“Oh, here it is!” Pinkie declared, turning around, knocking over the other door of the wardrobe.
“Wait.” Twilight stared at the inside of the door.”No... It can’t be...” she flailed for some sense of reality.
Six more golden horseshoe plaques sat across the other one.
Pinkie stood there proudly, a floating balloon in her mouth. “Found it!” she mumbled across the string, and then realized that Twilight was staring past her. “Oh, those!”
“But...but...“
“Twilight, she’s won it for the last seven years!” Spike blurted out as he scanned over all the inscriptions.
“But... but...”
“Oh, didn’t I mention I was the reigning champ? Granny Pie said it was always because I was so full of energy! And sweets!” she giggled. “Oh, Granny Pie would have been so proud of me...”
“But... but...”
“Wait, why didn’t you compete this year, Pinkie?” Spike asked.
“Oh, I figured it was about time to let someone else win it! And this was the first time A.J. and Big Macintosh were both in it, so I thought it would more fun to watch. And thanks to Twilight, that was a lot of fun today!”
Twilight, still stuck mumbling to herself, suddenly snapped out of it, raced over to Pinkie and pinned her to the ground, the balloon floating off. “I need a Golden Horseshoe!” she demanded her nostrils flared.
Pinkie was momentarily stunned by Twilight’s advances, but soon started giggling to herself. “Wait, you just wanted a Golden Horseshoe? Sure, you can have one!”
Twilight was shocked by Pinkie’s response. “You’re just going to give me one?”
“Of course. I’m your friend. Well, I’d still like it back when you’re done with it, sharing and all that. A little bit of gold dust from it isn’t going to ruin the whole thing.”
Twilight stepped off of Pinkie, realizing what she had just done to her, and helped her friend to her hooves. “But why?”
Pinkie giggled as she bounced to her hooves. “They’re just trophies! To me, they’re just a memory of the fun times with all the other earth ponies! And I know you wanted one really bad, too, so...”
Twilight gulped “Oh, Pinkie, I’m sorry, thank you!” Twilight started to cry happily. “But... you’ve had these the whole time? I didn’t have to dress up or embarrass myself at that competition?”
Pinkie laughed. “You never asked, silly!”
It took a moment for it to sink in. Twilight quickly turned to Spike. “Spike, take a letter.” she said, sternly.
As Spike got his writing tools, Twilight cleared her throat. “Dear Princess Celestia...” she began, Spike writing frantically behind her. “Today, I learned that it’s best not to try to be something that you are not, just to impr- “
Twilight stopped, and turned to Pinkie. “Spike, scratch that.” She cleared her throat. “Today, I learned that I should always ask Pinkie Pie first, no matter how inane the question.”
Spike looking a bit confused. “Always?”
“Yes, always.”
The two ponies laughed, leaving a confused Spike shrugging and returning to finish the letter.
They’re Pinkie, Pinkie and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain!
