Cock-a-doodle-doo.
Was that a rooster? Twilight thought to herself as she struggled to stay asleep. Why was she hearing a rooster? Was Applejack bringing her farm animals through town again? If she was, she really ought to keep them down. Some ponies were trying to sleep.
"Hey sis, are you gonna get up? We've got work to do," said Applebloom.
Great, Applejack was sleeping in the middle of town now. At least, that's what Twilight thought until she felt somepony pushing her shoulder. She opened her eyes to see that Applebloom was looking right into her eyes.
"Gah, Applebloom why are you in my house!?" Twilight shouted.
"'Cuz I live here too," Applebloom said. "Hey sis, are you feeling okay?"
What was she talking about? Was this some kind of bizarre prank? Twilight looked around the room. Indeed, this was Applejack's room—most likely in Applejack's house. This had to be some kind of prank. Obviously Rainbow Dash or Pinkie Pie transplanted her into Applejack's room. There really wasn't any other explanation. Twilight looked to her hooves: orange. Wow, they were really going far for this prank.
"Ha ha, very funny," Twilight said. "Now if you don't mind, I'm going home and back to bed. Please tell Rainbow Dash or whoever did this to not prank me while I sleep."
"Just what are you talking about? Sounds like you had some crazy dream. Come on, milking the cows will get your mind off of it."
"Alright, fine. I'll play along 'sis' but whoever's idea this was is going to pay. I gotta use the bathroom before we get started."
Twilight got out of bed, and after she asked where she could find it, got into the bathroom. She was still groggy so she passed by the mirror without an aside glance on her way to the toilet, but on the way back her eyes shot open wide. Twilight rubbed her hoof through her long blonde mane. She examined each freckle. Not a detail was out of place. At first Twilight thought that they had gone to crazy extremes to make this prank work, but then she noticed one detail that no amount of pranking force could make happen.
Her horn was missing. Twilight rubbed the space where it should be in pure disbelief. No, this couldn't be right. She tried to cast every spell in her repertoire only to give herself a headache. Twilight belted herself in the face trying to wake up, but only managed to give herself a black eye.
"You okay in there?" Applebloom asked from behind the door.
"My horn... is missing," Twilight said, still looking at herself in disbelief.
"You're still on this, huh? Well, whenever you're ready I'll be outside."
Getting ready took a lot more effort than it should have. Twilight kept trying to convince herself that this was just some bizarre dream and she'd wake up soon with her horn, and she could cast spell after spell all day long. This couldn't be true, could it? After all, friends didn't just randomly swap bodies, did they?
Twilight unlocked the bathroom door and walked out into the hall, nearly dripping over the hat that Applebloom left there. Well, if Twilight was going to be Applejack—dream or no dream—she may as well complete the look. She placed the hat on her head. It honestly made her feel a little silly, like she was trying to pretend to be Applejack. Twilight returned to the mirror to make sure she was wearing it correctly.
"I'm Applejack! Howdy! Howdy! Howdy!" Twilight said, laughing to herself.
When you suddenly switch bodies with one of your best friends you've got to try to stay calm and make the best of it. Unfortunately, Twilight was good at neither. When she tried to milk the cows, she got a couple of back hooves to the face, and another black eye to match the one she gave herself.
Collecting eggs wasn't an easy task either. Twilight stepped on a creaky floorboard, waking up every chicken in the coup, and she learned something new: chickens don't like it when you try to take their eggs. They chased her all around the chicken coop while Applebloom looked on, struggling not to laugh.
And apple bucking was an experience that Twilight wished she could forget. Every apple that knocked her in the head reminded her of her missing horn, and that hurt a lot more than the blunt force of the fruit. If only she could levitate the apples down this whole thing would be so much easier.
At least she had Applejack's strength. Moving the wagons full of apples—most of which had been bruised—was a lot easier than it should have been, at least until Twilight slipped into mud and the precarious piles toppled down and scattered about the orchard. Twilight wiped the mud off of her face and began to chase after them. The sun was peeking over the mountains in the distance by the time she had finished.
"What are you doing?" Applebloom asked.
"I'm taking these apples in," Twilight groaned. She felt sweat cascading down her face. She just wanted to be done with these ill-begotten apples once and for all.
"You can't take those apples in. They're all bruised, and covered in mud. We gotta throw them out now. I know you're not feeling well, but try to be more careful. We gotta sell them after all."
Twilight stared at Applebloom blankly. She nervously looked to the wagons filled with apples. Sure enough a large majority of them were bruised, although it was hard to tell since the entire piles were caked in mud. Twilight's eye started twitching as she began cackling to herself.
"What's Applejack doing?" Granny Smith asked.
"I think she's getting a head-start on destroying the barn. She keeps ramming into it," Applebloom replied. "I don't think she's feeling well today."
"That's nice deary. Tell your sister to come inside, it's time for breakfast."
At the word "breakfast" Twilight stopped ramming into the barn. She reached down to her stomach. Sure enough, she was hungry. In fact, she was more hungry than she had ever been in her entire life. No wonder Applejack was able to eat so much, if this was the kind of work she did. Hopefully this farmer got a farmer's breakfast.
The breakfast spread was amazing. The only time Twilight had seen more food was when she first came to Ponyville and Applejack's family shoveled food down her throat. That reminded her: Applejack lived with relatives other than Applebloom. Big Mac and Granny Smith were already at the table, and Granny Smith was talking about her various health issues. Apparently she was suffering from some serious constipation. Suddenly Twilight wasn't feeling so hungry.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Pinkie Pie woke up feeling fresh and Pinkie-keen. She didn't remember getting a sleep that good in... well ever! It was probably because her bed was unusually soft and comfortable. She slowly opened her eyes. And she was blind. Pinkie couldn't see a thing. There was only one possibility. Somepony must have stolen her eyes!
Pinkie hopped out of the bed and tripped on the floor. Even without her eyes she could navigate her way around Sugarcube Corner, at least she usually could. Today she bumped into wall after wall. That was weird. Did somepony steal her room too? Then Pinkie tripped over something incredibly soft and fluffy, causing her to fall to the floor.
That thing she tripped over hissed at her and clawed the mask off of her face. Oh, she was wearing one of those sleeping-mask thingies. That made a lot more sense than somepony stealing her eyes, or did it? After all, Pinkie's eyes must have been valuable to somepony. Then there was the question of why she was wearing the mask. And why was Opal in her room? And why did her room look like Rarity's?
Pinkie rubbed her hair through her mane. That didn't feel like her mane. There were no curly crazy hairs. They were all neat and in order. Pinkie took a closer look at it. Oh, it was purple now, just like Rarity's. And it was shaped like Rarity's too. Pinkie found her way to the bathroom. Now it all made sense: she was Rarity.
"Alright, I guess I'm Rarity today," Pinkie said to herself. "Better open the store."
Pinkie took a look at the store. All of the clothes were displayed nice and neatly on the racks. It just looked too clean. It was time to use that creative Rarity spark to make something that ponies would love to see. Pinkie opened the storeroom cabinet. Hmm... green and orange fabrics. That would be perfect!
Pinkie threw those old boring designs into the storeroom, and began working on something that would surely pop. She opened the store and got to work sewing, only to poke herself in the arm. Pinkie nursed the poke. She didn't very much like being Rarity. Maybe tomorrow she would get to be somepony better, or at least easier to be, like Princess Celestia. That would be awesome! Or maybe Gummy. That would definitely be interesting. But if she was Gummy then who would be Pinkie? Wait, who was Pinkie now?
A bell rang, taking Pinkie out of her thoughts.
"Hello," said the mare who entered the building. "I'm going to a party tonight and I need a new dress, but I can see that you're kind of sold-out."
"Oh darling," Pinkie said, imagining what Rarity would sound like, "it's no worry, I'll make one for you right now. Come on, I'll take your measurements."
Five minutes later the two of them were tangled in tape measures, and each time one of them struggled to get out they tightened on the both of them. Pinkie looked around the room, wondering what Rarity would do in this situation. Then she realized that Rarity wouldn't be in this situation. She was a terrible Rarity. She didn't even deserve to have a cat like Opal. Wait, Opal—that was it! Seconds later, the two of them were free and the measuring tapes lay in tattered remains on the floor.
Now that Pinkie had the pony's measurements, it was time to make her a dress. Pinkie got to work sifting through different colored fabrics. The blue looked really good, but that pink was just... um... divine. Yes, that was the word that Rarity would use, but that green was just irresistible. In fact all of the colors were irresistible, and they all looked good. It was only logical that they would all look even better together.
"Are you sure this doesn't look... hideous?" the pony asked as Pinkie held the finished product up in front of her.
"Darling, this is the best thing I've done in ages," Pinkie said with a smile. "Only the best for my customers."
"It looks like something a clown would wear."
"Well then you'll be the life of the party and the center of attention."
"If you say so..."
"Just be sure to tell your friends where you got it. Thank you, come again!"
Pinkie beamed with pride as she watched the pony leave the store. That wasn't so hard. In fact, that was actually kind of fun. Pinkie went back to the sewing machine and managed to to poke herself once again. This time it wasn't her fault. There were screams coming from outside. It sounded like ponies were shouting about a hideous, ugly, multicolored monster. It must have escaped from the Everfree Forest. Well, whatever the case the townsponies would deal with it themselves.
Then the pony reentered the store. Both she and her dress were covered in rotten fruit, and she smelled horrendous. Pinkie's attention, however, was taken by her scowl. She ripped off her dress and threw it at Pinkie's feet.
"Yeah, I was the center of attention," she sneered. "If you think that this is some kind of joke, I'm not laughing."
"Wait, somepony told a joke? What was it? Was it funny?"
"Apparently I was the joke. And no, it wasn't funny! I want my bits back, this instant."
Pinkie looked to the pile of bits on the counter and reached for them before stopping. Would Rarity give somepony their money back, after she worked so hard on a custom-made dress? She didn't think so. She needed to put her hoof down.
"Sorry ma'am, but we do not give refunds."
"Fine," the pony said, and she scooped up her dress. "Then I'll tell everypony where I got this so they know who to avoid. And my friends told me that this was a good place to get a dress made..."
"Was it something I said?"
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Rainbow Dash felt a thumping on her head. Ugh, starting the day off with a migraine, really? She didn't remember indulging in cider last night, but that really didn't tell her anything. The headache was getting worse. It was just going to be one of those days, wasn't it? Rainbow tried to keep her eyes closed, but the pounding wouldn't let her have her way. Rainbow opened her eyes to see a rabbit hopping up and down on her face.
"ANGEL!?" Rainbow asked the second she recognized the rabbit. "What are you—no, how did you get in my house? And why are you jumping on my head?"
Rainbow picked the rabbit up and put him down on the floor. He was furiously tapping his foot, almost as if he was expecting Rainbow to do something. Wait. If Rainbow put Angel on the floor in her house, he would fall through, and he was most certainly not falling through. Oh that's why he wasn't falling through—this was Fluttershy's room.
Rainbow was about to ask what she was doing there before she got hit in the head with something. It was a book, and that rabbit threw it at her. Rainbow growled at that thing. Fluttershy might allow him to get away with that kind of stuff, but Fluttershy wasn't here. Rainbow grabbed Angel by the ears and held him out the window.
"So Angel, are you going to say you're sorry?" she asked.
Angel bit her in the arm and scurried up her hoof before jumping up and down on her head again. Pink hairs wavered in front of Rainbow's face. That was... odd. Rainbow's mane had almost every color, except pink. Ugh, did Pinkie dye her mane again? Rainbow flicked the rabbit off her head and walked down the stairs, heading for Fluttershy's bathroom. Along the way downstairs, Rainbow saw Fluttershy.
"Hey Fluttershy, Angel's acting up," Rainbow said to her.
No response. Fluttershy just stared blankly back at Rainbow. Rainbow soon grew bemused... and so did Fluttershy. Wait, that wasn't Fluttershy. That was a mirror. Everything was slowly making sense: the reason she woke up in Fluttershy's house, the reason for the pink hair, and the reason Angel thought he could abuse her. And speak of the devil, Angel jumped off the top of the stairs and pelted Rainbow in the head, causing her to tumble down the stairs.
"Bad bunny! Bad bunny!" Rainbow shouted after each successive hit. When they both hit the bottom, Angel went flying off.
"Look, I don't have time for this. I need to figure out why I'm in your owner's..." Rainbow said before she stopped.
That was right, Rainbow was in Fluttershy's body, and the rabbit obviously couldn't tell the difference. Wait, this is how he treated Fluttershy? Rainbow couldn't have that. Maybe it was finally time to teach that rabbit a lesson. She grabbed him by the ears and bounced him up and down a little bit as he struggled to escape her hooves.
"Don't like that too much, do you? Well guess what, you get to spend the day outside!" Rainbow said.
She rolled the rabbit out the door and closed it behind her. A second later she felt something pounding on it. There was no way that rabbit could be that strong. Rainbow's concentration was destroyed by the noises coming from several other animals around the house. Great, what did they want? Her own grumbling stomach answered her question. Of course, these animals were all hungry, weren't they?
Where did Fluttershy keep the food? She looked around the entire house, opening random cabinets but found nothing that could feasibly be called animal food. Then Rainbow felt that same familiar thumping. Angel had gotten in through an open window and he was not pleased. Neither was Rainbow.
She looked around the room for some way to detain this demented rabbit. Then she saw an empty cage. It was perfect. She grabbed him by the ears once again and tossed him in, and padlocked the cage shut. Angel pulled at the bars, almost as if he was trying to break it apart. Rainbow stuck her tongue out at the helpless animal.
"Fluttershy really has to curb your behavior," Rainbow said, returning to her search. Then she looked to Angel. "Hey, do you know where the animal feed is?"
Angel turned away and folded his arms.
"Alright, starve for all I care," Rainbow said and she flew to the door.
Angel started hopping up and down, clanging all around the cage. Rainbow put her hoof on the door. She heard Angel knocking the cage around, and a second later she heard it topple to the ground. Then there was some pained squeaking. Rainbow turned around. The rabbit had hurt himself in his fall.
"Have a nice tantrum?" she asked. "Tell me where the food is and I'll feed you."
Angel pointed to a cabinet in the kitchen. Rainbow opened it, and sure enough, there was all the food. Perfect. The rabbit wasn't getting off that easy though. Rainbow's head still ached from that bouncing bunny, and if this was Fluttershy's alarm clock then he needed to be taught some lessons. Rainbow fed all of the other animals first, and after setting Angel's cage right, she placed some food for him through the bars. Then Rainbow turned to leave the house. If anypony could figure out why she wasn't in her body, it would be Twilight. There was a banging on the door of the cage.
"I never said I'd let you out," Rainbow told Angel. "That's time out. You are grounded mister, until you can learn some better behavior. I'll let you out of that cage when you learn not to attack Flut—er me."
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
Rarity awoke to crying foals. That wasn't right. She reached for her face. No sleeping mask; it must have fallen off again. Rarity opened her eyes and saw multicolored balloons floating over her. That wasn't right either. And curly pink hairs dangled over her eyes. Rarity rubbed her hooves through it and hit about a thousand snags on the way through.
Rarity jumped out of bed and looked to her hooves. Of course, they were pink. Rarity looked to the bedside mirror for full confirmation. There was no denying it, Rarity had woken up as Pinkie Pie today. There was no point in wondering why. Any time she had should be spent getting it fixed. The only pony that had to worry about why she had woken up as Pinkie Pie was Twilight. Twilight was the only pony who, if she didn't already know how to switch bodies back, would be eager and willing to learn.
Then it hit Rarity—body swap. If Rarity had woken up as Pinkie Pie, then it was only logical that Pinkie Pie woke up as Rarity. Hopefully she'd have the sensibilities to go straight to Twilight and not do something as ridiculous as try to be her. Uh-oh, ridiculous. Rarity broke into a full-on run before Pinkie's mane got in her eyes.
How does Pinkie see with this jungle on her head? Rarity thought to herself as she looked back into the mirror. She began scrounging it around until it resembled something a little neater. Just because she wasn't in her body didn't mean she couldn't look good. Unfortunately she didn't have the supplies to make it as good as she wanted it, with the only things in the room that resembled hair-ties being deflated balloons. At the very least, the mane was out of her eyes. Rarity ran down the stairs and put her hoof on the door before she was stopped.
"Oh good, you're awake," said Mrs. Cake. "Are you ready?"
"Ready for what?" Rarity asked.
"Ready to foalsit the twins. Don't tell me you forgot. Mr. Cake and I have to go Canterlot for a very important business, and we can't be late."
"Look," said Rarity. "I'm not Pinkie. I'm Rarity. I know it sounds crazy, but I woke up in Pinkie's body."
"Very clever Pinkie. You made a promise, and we can't find another foalsitter on such short notice."
Being Rarity in Pinkie's body did seem like an excuse she would use to get out of foalsitting. Then again, the sun exploding seemed liked an excuse she would use. Rarity didn't want to be Pinkie any longer than she had to, but it did look like Mrs. Cake was really relying on her.
"Ugh, fine," Rarity sighed.
"Good," said Mrs. Cake. "I already fed them breakfast, so just keep an eye on them until we get home this evening."
"This...evening?" Rarity asked, her eye twitching. "That's way too long. I have places I need to be."
"Pinkie, you promised. Look, we won't be gone too long, and if all goes well we'll be home early."
Rarity rolled her eyes, but Mrs. Cake didn't seem to notice. Seconds later Mr. Cake appeared from the hall, and the two Cakes left. Rarity groaned to herself. Why did this kind of stuff always happen to her? The only answer she got was a loud, piercing cry. Of course, they couldn't be napping to make her life easier, now could they?
Rarity followed the crying to the nursery, and immediately learned why the foal was crying. A horrid smell assaulted her as soon as the door opened. She bolted out of the room and slammed the door behind her. That putrid smell was enough to make her want to vomit. Rarity didn't remember Sweetie Belle smelling this badly when she was a foal. The crying was getting louder.
"Okay Rarity, you can do this. It's just a dirty diaper. It's not the end of the world."
Rarity nervously pushed the door open once again and could have sworn that she felt some sort of force push her back. She definitely felt a green haze in front of her eyes, which forced them to water. Rarity took a step forward. It felt like she was pushing her way against a rushing river, and each step became harder than the last.
Finally, Rarity had gotten to the foals. It was the pegasus—Pound, was it?—that was stinking up the entire house. She tried to use some telekinesis in order to get the diaper off, but soon realized that Pinkie Pie wasn't a unicorn. Great, she would have to get Pinkie's hooves dirty with whatever was making this repulsive smell.
Rarity grabbed the diaper and undid it. She felt Pinkie's mane deflate. Rarity held the nightmare in her hooves, looking for a place to get rid of it. Window! Rarity dashed over to it, slung it open, and tossed it outside. She heard somepony scream before she shut it. Rarity was too busy breathing in the relief to care where the diaper landed. The smell was still in the room, but noticeably less-so than before.
Oh yeah, Pound still needed a new diaper. The rest of the changing process was easy compared to getting the diaper off. As Rarity slid a clean one on him, Pound giggled wildly. So that was why Pinkie did this...
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Fluttershy's eyes popped open. Hmm, strange... no Angel Bunny jumping up and down on her head. Perhaps he wasn't feeling well today? Fluttershy stepped out of the bed and felt something extremely soft beneath her hooves. Clouds? Why was she walking on clouds? And why were the sheets rainbow? Come to think of it, why was her mane rainbow?
"I'm dreaming!" Fluttershy shouted when it hit her.
She rubbed her forehead with her hooves. Nope, she wasn't dreaming. But how? Why? Wait, if she was here then who would take care of all her animal creatures? She had to get to her cottage and make sure that they were all okay. Fluttershy dashed to the door of Rainbow's house and saw the drop. Oh yeah, Rainbow's cloud home was in the sky. And it was such a long way down.
Just the thought of falling caused her wings to lock up. Great, even in Rainbow's body she had that problem. Well, there was no use even trying to get down until they sorted themselves out. So this was Rainbow's house. Books scattered the floor, and Rainbow's tortoise sat in his cage. The poor creature—needing to stay in there or else he would fall to the ground below. Fluttershy was sure that she let the guy out often enough, but still being forced to stay in a cage was no way an animal should live.
Fluttershy opened the cage, and found Tank's flying mechanism. She strapped it on, wound it up, and watched him go, darting all about the room. Tank knocked about knick-knacks on shelves, causing them to fall through the cloud floor. Then he pelted Fluttershy in the head as he soared out the door.
Fluttershy grasped her now-aching head. Wow, that really hurt. She was so focused on the pain that she didn't notice Tank hovering outside. Uh-oh. If Tank got too far away, the guy could get hurt. Fluttershy jumped out the door and grabbed onto the tortoise. Then she looked down when she realized she wasn't standing on anything remotely solid.
The ground was still far down, and now it was moving. Tank was still flying, and he was flying quickly. Fluttershy struggled not to let go, and she struggled to actually get Rainbow's wings moving again. It was to no avail.
"P-please stop," Fluttershy begged the tortoise. "Slow down please!"
Tank wouldn't listen, or couldn't listen.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Applejack opened her eyes when the sun shined on them. She hopped out of bed in a panic. The rooster forgot to wake her up again. If she didn't get a move on, she'd be working on her chores until late into the night. Applejack looked to the night stand and realized that her hat was missing. Why would somepony take her hat?
"Breakfast is ready!" came a voice from downstairs. It sounded kind of like Spike's. Was he doing that whole servant forever thing again?
"Spike, I told ya that you didn't have to do things for me," Applejack said, climbing down the stairs.
Applejack looked around the room she was in. Bookshelves lined the walls, far-different from the country asthetic that she was expecting. Applejack rubbed her eyes. Wait, purple hooves? She sighed and then a blast of purple energy flew from over her head into a bookshelf, causing the books to go flying in all directions. Spike ran in and dropped his pan when he saw what happened.
"Twilight, are you feeling okay?" he asked.
Applejack was too focused on the explosion of magic that happened in front of her. She looked around, hoping that it came from some other direction but the only other creature in the room was Spike. She nervously held a hoof up to the top of her head and felt what was most certainly a horn. Touching it sent a strange sensation through her whole body.
"No, I'm not okay," Applejack said, "because I'm not Twilight. It's me Applejack."
"Wow, you nearly had me going," Spike said. "I mean that Applejack impression is dead-on. Hey, can you do Rarity?"
"Spike, I ain't imitatin' anypony! I am Applejack, and for some reason I'm in Twilight's body," Applejack said.
Another beam of magic shot out of her horn and sailed right over Spike's head blasting into another bookshelf. Charred books with smoldering pages fell to the ground. Spike walked up to the book and picked it up in disbelief.
"You really aren't Twilight..." he said, mostly to himself.
"That's what I've been tryin' to say!" Applejack shouted.
This time the beam of magic shot straight up. They heard some cracking coming from the ceiling above. Applejack jumped forward, nearly avoiding getting crushed by the floor above. Bedding and other debris scattered all over the wreckage. Spike groaned.
"Thanks a lot Applejack, now I've got to clean all of this up," Spike said. He was about to reach for a broom when he stopped. "Wait, if you're Twilight, then who's Applejack?"
Applejack's eyes widened.
"Get on Spike. We gotta get to the farm," Applejack said.
Spike hopped on and Applejack charged out the door only to smack right into Fluttershy.
