Now, I didn't go on a spirit journey or anything silly like while I was in my little sleepy-time-coma-thing, -that also has the surprising habit of happening to me if you care- recovering from my silly mistake, it was more like I just took a really short nap. But, unlike a nap, where you might feel comfy or sleepy when you wake up, when I woke up to a world of pain.

I groaned, opening my eyes to a world of blurriness and hurtiness. Wincing, I tried not to groan out in pain; it felt like I had gone a few rounds with a Hydra and lost. What am I?... Oh, right, the statue, I thought as I tried to ruffle my feathers to see how my wings were, failing due to what felt like bandages. Huh, it looks like I’m not dead… I wonder who-

“Huh, you’re finally awake,” A voice said, mildly startling me, “I guess I’m better at healing than I thought.”

Wait, I thought as my mind slowly worked through the pain, I remember that voice…. “You’re that guy with the weird eyes, right?” I managed to croak out, struggling not to cough, “Why can’t I see right?

I felt something touch my lips, “It’s water, drink it slowly,” he told me as he trickled some of that awesome, life-giving liquid down my throat. I groaned when he moved the water from my mouth and began to gently poke and prod my face.

“You’ll be able to see in a couple of minutes, the amount healing you had to go through was pretty impressive, so you’ll be a bit blurry,” I felt something else touch my lips, “Now this is medicine, it’s going to taste bad, but you’re going to have to drink it even if I have to force it down your throat.”

I weakly nodded as a paste was all but forced down my throat. “Buck,” I said after swallowing the nasty stuff. “That tasted like Manticore piss.”

I couldn’t help but smile as my vision sharpened and cleared to see the face of the creature, his glowing eyes staring down at me with concern and a little bit of amusement. “That Manticore piss has been the only thing keeping you alive,” I saw him turn around as my eyes started to droop, a strong sense of tiredness sweeping over me. “You better get some more sleep, I’ll have something for you to eat when you wake up.”

“Why?” I asked, “Why did you save me?”

He turned back around, a small smile on his face. “Why not? Get some rest, Daring, you’ll need it.”

“Wait,” I murmured, my eyes starting to close, “Could you at least tell me your name?”

Before I fell back asleep I heard him tell me it, “Augustus, my name is Augustus…”

The first thing I noticed when I woke up again was the sound of birds calling, then there was a feeling of me being warm and comfy. So it was waaaay better than my first wake-up by at least ten thousand percent.

Wow, I feel… pretty good… a little hungry but good, I thought as I yawned, blinking awake.

I mean I still probably shouldn’t get up because I must still be healing, but it was a thousand times better than before. “I wonder if I can get the recipe for whatever that Augustus guy gave me,” I thought aloud, my gazers gazing around my surroundings.

I was in with looked to be a normal-looking bed but that was the only thing that looked normal in this smallish room. First off, all on the ceiling there were these bird skeletons suspended in the air, kinda like the ones they sometimes have at schools.

Then there were the shelves of books that lined every bit of exposed wall and a big table with a chair that had everything from little weird models to what looked like notes on it, the whole room illuminated by a big open squared window.

All-in-all it kinda looked like my little one-bed-one-bathroom back home.

“Huh, this isn’t what I thought a dungeon master’s room would look like, but I’m not complaining…” I looked panically around the room when I noticed that the familiar weight that was usually on top of my head wasn’t there, along with my shirt. I’m naked! I thought as I tried to cover myself more with my blanket.

Yah yah, a pony that doesn’t like to be naked, laugh it right up....

But think about it, my tail moves the wrong way and you’ll see my goodies, and the same kinda goes for you. Come on! quit looking at me like that, I can’t be the only pony that thinks that’s messed up for bucks sake!

Where are my, I sighed in relief when I found both my shirt and hat hanging, and looking like somepony had at them with a needle and thread, at the foot of the bed. “Oh thank-”

I flinched as three little black and white things all but flew through the window and landed onto the desk, sending everything flying. As they made weird sounds to each other I got a good look at what they were. “Monkeys?” I muttered to myself as I watched the little guys, lemurs if I had to guess, continue to make their little monkey sounds as they pawed at each other.

I let out a little coo. “You guys are adorable,” I said, alerting the monkeys I was there and awake, their three little heads snapping in my direction. I giggled as they hopped off the desk and started toward me.

“Oi,” A voice snapped out, the lemurs stopping in there tracks as the creature appeared with a wooden tray in has hands. He looked around and saw what were probably his papers everywhere on the floor. “You three, clean that up,” he pointed to the mess, walking toward me.

I almost drooled when I saw the tray was stacked with fruits. “I figured you’d be hungry,” he said as the lemurs started cleaning up their mess. “Remember to eat slowly or you’re going to start throwing up.”

“Thanks,” I got out before I all but attacked my food, any manners forgotten as a stone cup of water was passed to me.

“Slow down or I’m going to take the food off you,” Augustus said, pulling up the chair to my bedside.

I reached for another pear but my hoof was swatted away. “Take a breather first.”

I snorted. “Don’t tell me how to live my life,” I tried to reach for the tray but it was pulled away.

“I can when I’m the one that kept you alive,” he stretched out his legs and plucked an orange from the tray, peeling it. “Yes-sir-ree you’re a lucky one. Six broken ribs, a cracked skull, a broken wing, and a punctured lung,” he scrunched up his face, “Not to mention you broke one of the statues.”

I chuckled weakly, “Well, I feel pretty good right now. Could I get another glass of water? I’m still kinda thirsty.”

My water was refilled. “You’re feeling alright because of a nifty little concoction that I learned a while ago from a neighbor, it increases the bodies healing factor by about a thousand percent and a whole bunch of other nonsense that I didn't bother to remember when she told me.You’ll be as good as new in a week or two.”

I hummed, “How long was I?..”

“About a week,” He told me, placing the tray back in my lap. “Eat up the rest if you want.”

I shook my head, “Nah, I’m not hungry anymore,” I looked up at him. “Thanks for fixing up my cloths… And for not letting me die, you could have just left me.”

He smiled, whistling, “Moe, Curly, Larry, come here and eat up,” The lemurs looked up, little smiles on their cute little faces as they ran over, climbing up on Augustus, who handed them each a piece of fruit. “Don’t mention it; the whole saving you part,” he said, waving a hand dismissively, “I’ve wanted to test that potion for a while now, and I can always make another one of those statues.”

My eyes narrowed at that disbelievingly. “You did that all by yourself?”

“I did all of them by myself.”

“But for somepony by themselves that’d take forever.”

He shrugged, “It took about sixty years to teach myself to stone carve, another hundred and twenty to finish all of those.”

I blinked at that. “You don’t look that old.”

He smiled. “I’m quite a bit older than that,” he got up, gently pulling the covers off me. “Now come on, you’re getting a bath.”

I slowly rolled myself over into my stomach. “I could probably use a bath,” I muttered, giving myself the sniff test and wincing, “I kinda reek. Am I going to be fine if I just start walking?” I asked as he hummed.

“Well, that’s a good question, let’s find out,” I yelped as my gently picked me up and placed me on the ground. “Moe, go and get the lady a bar of soap, Larry, get one of those towels, the ones made out of furry leaf.”

He turned toward me, “Come on, you haven’t been out long enough for significant muscle decomposition but if you feel tight tell me,” he started toward the door with me following him through a well-maintained corridor, stretching out my sore limbs as we maintained a slow pace toward wherever we were going.

I giggled when I felt something hop into my back along with little monkey/lemur hands playing with my mane. Looking over my shoulder I saw the little lemur looking at me with a bar of soap in its little hand.

“Hey little guy,” I cooed. “Did you bring that for me?”

I was surprised when he shook his little monkey head, handing me the soap, which I took with a wing. “Huh, smart monkey,” I muttered as we came upon a set of stairs leading down.

“I’ll go first to make sure you don’t fall down,” Augustus said, making his way downward. “Oh, and Moe over there isn’t a monkey; Lemurs aren’t related to apes and chimps so they aren't monkeys.”

I snorted, “I know,” I said, carefully making my way downward. “It’s just easier to call them monkey’s. Or would you prefer I tell you that lemurs belong in the prosimian category, along with galagos, pottos and lorises. Or that 'Prosimian' literally means 'before monkeys' - because they are considered more primitive animals than monkeys, who in turn are more primitive than apes,” I grinned as he looked back at me, his eyebrow raised. “Huh smart guy?”

He stared at me for a moment longer before continuing his descent. “That’s pretty good, Daring, watch your step; its slick right there,” he said. “Who taught you that?”

I tried to extend my wings slowly, flinching at how tender they were. Boy do I need a good preening, I thought, smiling as the Lemur looked at my extended wingspan with amazement. I probably should lay off the flying for a bit.

“I’ll have you know that I teach on the side,” I told Augustus. “I took a couple classes in zoology my freshmen year; I’d thought it would come in handy for the whole adventuring thing.”

“You don’t look like the teaching type.”

I shrugged, rolling my shoulders and wincing as they popped. “Ya, I teach a couple of history classes. It’s something to do while I’m not out here doing this.”

Augustus shook his head as I continued, “You know, I’ve been all around and I’ve seen a lot of folks,” I thought about how I was going to ask him this and decided on the forward approach. “But I’ve never seen your kind. Could you tell me what you are?”

I sighed as we made it all the way down the steps, my legs already burning from the exercise. Those stairs are gonna be a bitch to get back up, I thought as Augustus led me down the twist-and-turns of corridors that made up this place.

“What am I?” he said stroking his chin thoughtfully, “Is that a philosophical question or a practical one?”

I frowned at that. “You know what I mean,” I grunted.

He stopped and spun around, giving me a showy bow. “I am called Augustus the human, Skull-breaker, widow-maker, and guardian of the temple of Fabricante de la Galleta,” he rolled his eyes as I snickered at that, spinning around and continuing his walking.

He thinks he can impress me with titles? Puff, good one.

I shook my head, clearing my thoughts as I trotted after him. “That’s… an impressive bunch of titles,” I almost teased, my ears perking at the sound of water. “A human huh? I’ve ever heard of you guys.”

He shrugged. “I may or may not be the only one here.”

I let out a little gasp in amazement as we entered a main chamber, not because of what he said, buck that nonsense, I was gasping about how freakin awesome his bathroom was. It was illuminated by these pretty glowing crystals that seemed to be growing out of the walls. Then there was this stone aqueducts-like thing that was broken in the middle, a rush of what looked like steaming water, falling downward, making a neat little waterfall.

“It’s beautiful,” I all but whispered, drinking in everything as I heard the patter of little feet, another one of the lemurs running past me with a little towel, climbing up onto the human’s shoulder.

“Welcome to the greatest bathroom in the world,” he said, opening his arms widely. “That water’s temperature should be fine for you and there’s a stone toilet over there if you need to do your business. I’ll be near the stairs if you need anything.”

As he turned I caught him with a hoof. “Augustus,” I said, “Really, why are you helping me?”

“You don’t think its from the goodness from my heart, huh?”

“You’ve healed my, fed me, and even fixed my cloths,” I shrugged. looking up at him. “Not even most ponies where I’m from would do all of that. Heck you’ve even told me about yourself.”

The human looked down at me, his glowing eyes seemingly staring through me. “I’ve been here for thousands of years, Daring, and I’m not gonna lie to you, I’ve been some bad things protecting this place, protecting that damned jar. I could tell you that I didn’t have a choice in the matter but that isn’t the whole truth.”

He squatted down to get eye-level with me. “To tell you the truth I liked being so powerful, being able to kill most with a flick of the wrist,” he noticed my slight shiver. “But it got old after a while, so now, whenever a poor soul comes into this temple, I give them a place to sleep and a bit of food to eat and maybe a good conversation. I’ll tell you the rest another day.”

Well, that got me right in the feeler.

He tried to get back up but I was faster, wrapping my hooves around his neck. “Well, I think you’re an okay guy, Augustus,” I told him, gently nuzzling his cheek and taking the towel from his hands.

I felt him stiffen slightly for a moment before giving me a quick, awkward squeeze. “Whatever you say girl, now go do your business, you probably want to get on home.”

I raised an eyebrow, “What are you talking about?” I said as I made my way over to the neat waterfall. “The Princess gave me orders to get that jar and I’m gonna do it,” I let out a sigh as the water fell onto my dirty coat. I started to rub the bar of soap between my hooves, grinning back at the human.

“I’ve dealt with puzzles like this before, and each one I’ve cracked quicker than you can say Manticore.” I looked back at Augustus, who had an amused gleam in his eye. “Give me two days tops and I’ll be outta here.”

Augustus grinned as one of the lemurs climbed up on his shoulder, the monkey grinning back as he turned around. “Well, I do get lonely here,” he said as he made his way out of the chamber. “But you’ll give up like everyone else does though…”

Alright, I thought, slowly walking around the podium, starring the jar down as I looked for any weaknesses in the runes. Are there any lighter glowing runes? Because then this will be a heck of a lot easier. You know, maybe I should just figure out the riddle; I mean, all of these ancient riddles are always easy to figure out when-

“You’ve been walking around that thing for two hours now. Are you going to stop and get something to eat or am I just gonna go eat by myself?” Augustus asked, looking back down his book. “I mean I’m getting motion sickness just by looking at you for Christ sakes.”

I frowned at that, glaring at the human. “Shut up,” I snapped, continuing my circle-walking. “Where did you get that book anyway?”

He looked at me for a moment before going back to his book. “There’s a travel route not too far away from here. Whenever a caravan passes I get one of the lemurs to snag me a couple of books, this is one on modern Equestrian politics.”

I stopped to look up at him. “You get lemurs to steal you books?”

He didn’t look up. “I get them to take other things too.”

“That’s illegal…”

He snorted, “Arrest me,” he flipped another page. “Besides, ever since I’ve been in this forest I’ve used these books to keep brushed up on the wide world’s languages.”

“How old are you?”

He smiled behind his book. “Old.”

My frown deepened as I tapped my chin with a hoof in thought. “Hummm, ‘To those who wish to lift this veil, the greatest harmony you must prevail’... The greatest harmony you must prevail… The greatest harmony…”

My eyes widened as a proverbial light bulb turned on above my head. “Wait a second!” I turned around, all but charging toward Augustus, who gave me ‘the look’, you know the one stallions always do.

I skidded to a stop right in front of him. “Augustus! Are we friends?!”

He slowly blinked at me. “Excuse me?”

I got a little close to his face. “Because I wanna be your friend, so who about it, huh?”

“....Sure….”

I shouted out in victory, running back and climbing up the podium. “That’s great, really really great. And since friendship produces harmony…” My hooves eagerly reached for the jar…

Only for the bucking thing to stay on the podium.

Augustus got up, rolling his eyes as I groaned. “Alright, you do… this, I’m going to whip something up to eat.”

Have you ever been in a quiet room and your tummy gets rumbly? Well, for some reason, its always the loudest bucking thing, which I noticed when my stomach happily reminded me that I hadn’t eaten that day.

I fought back a blush, rubbing the back of my head. “Hehe, so you were saying something about food right?” He shook his head, motioning me to follow him with a book, the two of us walking to one of the many secret hallways that littered the place.

“So, Augustus,” I said as we made our way to his neat little kitchen. “All of these carrots and potatoes and stuff; do you get the lemurs to steal those too?”

He looked back at me. “When you’re all by yourself for as long as I have you learn to do a lot of things, farming was one of the things I taught myself as the years passed.”

I rolled my eyes. “You know you keep telling me how old you are without telling me how old you are. What are you? Two-hundred, three-hundred, I mean you can’t-”

“I’m over ten-thousand years old.”

I stopped in my tracks, my jaw slack. “R-really?” Augustus didn't slow his walking while I sorted out the believability of his statement.

“Yep, I was old when your princesses mother and father were born.”

I raised an eyebrow at that. “You knew the king and queen?” I asked disbelievingly, finally snapping out of it and trotting back to his side.

“I met them both together once or twice, I gave them a little bit of advice whenever they asked for it,” he shrugged. “Faust was a nice girl, always coming to see me, she took to heart some things I told her, the dad… not so much.”

I took a shaky breath a that. “Did you meet any other super famous or powerful beings?” I asked, trying not to lose my mind. I mean, for crying out loud, this guy was probably a walking history book!... If he wasn't full of it.

“Well, for a while I was renowned as a wise man among the races of Equs. So I got loads of kings, queens, stuff like that. I remember when the pony tribes came to me to see if I could help them with their Windigo problem, then there was this odd stallion that stayed with me for a number of years, went by the name of Starswirl something or other. I even met your princesses once or twice when they were younger.”

“Y-yah?”

He smiled. “Those two were quite the little hellions when they were younger, their mom always brought them with her when she wanted to talk or needed help with something and they always broke something.”

I hummed thoughtfully, “So…. if you’ve met all of these ponies, why isn’t there any… well anything on you? I’m sure somepony would of wrote about a glowy-eyed, weird-named human guy.”

We turned a corner. “After Luna had her little temper tantrum the world was thrown into a few years of chaos, even with Celestia doing her best knowledge was lost, things were stolen, books were burned,” he shrugged. “But what can you do?”

“...Blame, Luna.” I said, slightly angry that that princess caused all of that sweet, sweet knowledge to be lost.

Augustus chuckled. “That’s a very mortal thing to say, Missy.”

“What do ya mean?”

“Daring, I don’t you think you understand something about immortality. None of us are gods, we have thoughts, feelings, and all of that nonsense, like you, and some of the things that we do or we see messes with us and that starts to build up until,” he snapped his fingers. “we lose it.”

“So you’ve…”

“Gone batshit nuts? A couple of times,” we entered the kitchen, an old-timey little thing that was basically a stone table with a few wooden chairs, some wooden cabinets, a fireplace, and what looked to be a wooden stove. Augustus started rummaging through the cabinets as I sat down.

“I wasn’t that bad though,” he continued, pulling out some vegetables and a knife. “Just a decade or two of me writing on the temple walls with my blood or something else silly like that. Then one of the others-”

“Others?” I asked as the human pulled out a pot and lit up a fire in the stove. “You know I feel like I should be writing this down, with you being such a gossip.”

“I’m a talker,” he said, looking around the kitchen for a jar of water. “besides, I’ve told this to hundreds of ponies and what have you.”

“...Could you get back to those others?” I asked as the human walked over to me, hopping onto the table and snatching my hat from my noggin. “Hey! Give that back!!” I growled as he messed with my mane.

“In a second, now you be quiet while the adults are talking,” he cleared his throat. “Now, Daring, have you seen anything like me before?”

“No.”

“Have you ever heard about the slightest hint of my species?”

“...No, I already told you this,” I narrowed my eyes at him. “Could you quit beating around the bush and get to the juicy stuff?”

He leaned toward me until our noses were touching. “Daring Doo,” he said dramatically, the light seeming to go out of the room. “What if I told you that I wasn’t of this world?”

“Like an alien?”

He seemed to deflate at that. “You know when I use to tell ponies that they’d lose their minds…. Kids today…. And no, I’d have to of been born on a different planet in this universe.”

“...So you’re not from a different universe?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“...Bullshit.”

He snorted at that. “Didn’t I tell you to be quiet?”

I ignored that. “I mean who’d be able to pull that off? The amount of power…”

I didn’t like the humans grin. “Not who, what.”

“...Explain.”

Augustus hopped up from the table, pouring water into the veggie pot and putting the pot on the stove. he hummed quietly as me started grabbing spices.

“Now, Daring, I’m sure this isn’t your first temple and I’m not your first ‘dungeon master’,” he snorted at the end. “What if I also told you they weren’t from here either, that all of us were brought here to protect these artifacts?”

I blinked at that. “...Go on…”

“What if there was something, someplace that took each of us from our homes and basically made us gods, and that it needed these artifacts to keep expanding?” His grin got bigger. “What if i told you it was the Everfree?”

I shook my head slowly, hoping that the human wasn’t nuts. “The Everfree forest brought you here?”

“Yep.”

“And gave you these superpowers?”

“Aha.”

“And made you protect the jar?”

“Actually, when I first got here it put me under a compulsion to kill everyone that entered this place and protect the jar,” he stirred the pot. “I broke the first one after a hundred years or so. It took the others a bit longer.”

“Now you keep talking about these ‘others’? Who are they?”

“You know, all of the creatures from the myths, the golems, sphinxes, minotaurs-”

“Minotaurs?”

He made a dismissive motion with his hand. “The forest brought in so many of those guys that when they broke free from the Everfree they started to populate the planet. There’s one a couple temples over who still has her artifact. Nice girl, she usually comes over a couple times a year along with a nice Naga; we have tea, catch up, its nice.”

“I still don’t get it, “I said, tilting my head. “You’re saying that the forest is alive?”

He turned back toward me. “In a sense that a… wait you guys know about cells and stuff right?”

I nodded my head. “We’ve known about them for like a hundred years.”

“Huh.... how about Television?”

“We got HD and everything.”

He looked into the pot before looking back at me. “In a sense that a cell is alive then. How to explain this to you…”

He grabbed a bunch of stone bowls and laid them out on the table. “Pretend that this table is the Everfree and these bowls are the temples, alright?”

I sighed. “Augustus, you know I’m a teacher, I don’t need-”

“Nope, I’m still gonna explain it like this!” He interrupted, motioning at the bowls. “Now, like a cell, the Everfree has ‘organs’ that keep it alive and well, the temples, these ‘organs’ need things to protect them from harm, the dungeon masters as you call them."

"Now, lets say that you manage to take away the jar of knowledge from the temple; you probably won’t but let’s just say you do,” I frowned at that but motioned him to continue. “As long as you take it out of the forest then the Everfree’s going to grow just a little bit weaker, but, since there’s thousands of temples all over this forest, it really won’t be much of a problem,” He waved a big wooden spoon around.

“At least that’s my take on everything, I could just be full of shit or it might just of been some weird accident that did all of this to me and all of the others,” he passed me a bowl. “I hope you’re up for stew.”

“Alright,” I slowly said, “You really don’t have me sold on the whole, ‘the Everfree is alive-alive’ thing, but it’s interesting…” I tapped a hoof against my chin. “So if all of that nonsense is true, what would happen if all of the artifacts were gone? Or why don’t you just leave?”

“Well, and this is just me thinking out loud, if there were too many artifacts stolen or a particularly powerful on was stolen the forest might die like a cell would..”

“How so?”

He shrugged, ladling two servings of stew into mine and his bowl and passing me a spoon. “No idea,” he hummed as he took a bite of his stew. “Now enough of me and my crazy ideas, how about you tell me a bit about yourself.”

I blinked at that, half of my stew gone already. What can I say, a hungry Daring is a grumpy Daring.

“Me?” I said, swallowing another mouthful.

He leaned his elbows onto the table, his chin on his hands. “Yes you, ya can’t expect a guy to spill his guts and not say anything.”

“And if I don’t want to?”

“Then I’m gonna take that stew off you.”

“...Fine,” I muttered, looking down at my stew. “There’s not really much to say, I’ve been doing this adventuring thing for most of my life, it was kind of a family tradition ….”

He grinned at that. “So you come from a long line of grav-”

“Shut your bucking mouth and eat your food, I’m telling my story,” his hands moved up defensively.

“Touche.”

“Ya, I even got the right cutiemark for it,” I sagged into my chair. “But that’s not really what I wanted to do, well not full time anyway, so a few years later I decided to take up teaching,” I smiled slightly, “I can tell ya, I like sitting behind a desk a lot better than dodging poison darts- it may not be as fun but I still like it- but I wish I didn’t need to read all of my students shitty papers…”

I shivered at that, those kids needed to learn where to put their commas and semicolons, I mean do you know how annoying it is when somepony doesn’t have the decency to at least pre-read their work? Very.

“But even that gets kinda old really fast, so I go out and do this when the crown comes a-callin,” I waved a hoof around, a tired smile on my face. “And that’s the life of the amazing Daring Doo!”

The human cocked his head at me, a quizzical look on his face. “Why don’t you write then?”

“What?”

“You saw all of those books on those shelves in my room right?”

“Yah…”

“Most of them are ones that I’ve written.”

I snorted at that. “Your a jack-of-all-trades kind of guy huh ?”

“Keeping busy is one of the tricks for an immortal to stay sane. I’ve learned how to farm, stone carve, blacksmith, hell, I’ve even been a sex guru.”

“What was the last one?...”

“You mean blacksmith?” I narrowed my eyes at that but I let it slide, staring at my now cold stew and letting my thinker think.

“So become a writer huh?” I said, mostly to myself. “I guess I could write about some of my adventures….”

I yelped at as a hand struck my shoulder. “That’s the spirit!” Augustus said, grinning down at me.

I looked up at him, slightly nervous. “But what if whatever I write crashes and burns? I mean, I know I’m awesome and everything, but...”

He gently placed my hat back on my head. “Then you keep pumping them out, they’ll see your awesomeness eventually. Now, if you’re done with that…”

For some reason unknown to me my face felt a little warm as I hoofed him the bowl, not able to look the human in the face. “Augustus,” I finally said as he cleaned the dishes. “Why do you stay here?”

He stopped what he was doing to look back at me, his glowing eyes slightly bitter. “I can’t leave for anything longer than a month until I’m forced back here. I’m stuck here until my artifacts been taken out of the temple.”

“Then why don’t you tell me the riddle?” I asked, my voice slightly sad for some reason.

“I can’t, the forest won’t let me,” he said after staring at me for a minute.

I stood up, my back straightening and my eyes lightening up in determination. “Then I guess I have to get that jar outta here huh?” I hopped into the table, looking into the humans eyes. “Don’t you worry, Augustus, I’ll figure out that stupid riddle so you can go see the whole world and the princesses and TV!... Wait, you said you knew about TV, how did…"

So began my two weeks of intensive study, light physical therapy, and playing with Augustus’s Lemurs as I tried and failed to figure out that bucking stupid riddle.

I also learned a bit more about my human templemate, boy did he teach me too…

Not like that you dummy….

He taught me a bit of the Marian language and a bit of their history too. Like, you know how we all think that on twenty-twenty the worlds gonna end because that’s when their calendar stopped? Well, apparently they were making another one when the calendar-maker kicked the bucket before he could make anything else.

I also learned what happened to Augustus’s other ‘guest’, who apparently had gotten the not-so bright idea of bringing a bunch of griffin mercenaries along with him and demanding that he be given the jar. And don’t you know it it was one of my arch-nemesiseses, Ahuizotl.*

Nope, I’m pretty sure that’s how you say that word.

So, when I asked what happened to my old chum the human replied, “I buried the griffins in the back where I grow my carrots, the Ahuizotl I have in one of the lower chambers. It's not everyday one of those come guys around and I have a skeleton of every other kind animal around here, so…”

Boy was I happy that the human hadn’t made me into a weird study-skeleton… Not that I couldn’t whip him in a hoof-fight if he tried or anything.

The best part about the whole time I studied was when Augustus let me look at everything he wrote down, from journals to novels to books on different plants and animals, I ate everything up… In the reading sense of course.

Then he also did something really cool for me, helping with and editing my first try at a novel, something I was going to call, ‘Daring Do and the Havoc Hounds’. Not the best title but sue me, it's my first.

So there I was one day, sitting behind the humans desk with the paper that he had apparently made and a quill that he must have gotten off of a phoenix because it lit on fire every time I looked at it funny, Augustus standing over my shoulder with a handful of stuff that I had already written.

“She stared into the tartarus hounds black, dead, fire-filled eyes, dread slowing welling into her chest,” he read aloud dramatically before stopping, “You know they’re not called tartarus hounds?” He said, looking down at me.

I sighed, rubbing my temples to try to relieve my growing headache. “Then what are they called for Celestia’s sake? I mean they’re from tartarus and they’re dogs that are not fir-”

“They’re not from your underworld,” he interrupted me “and they’re called hellhounds.”

I scrunched my face at that. “Hellhounds? That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard of, and of course they’re-”

I stopped when I saw his raised eyebrow, groaning, “You know where they’re from, right?”

The human looked slightly uneasy at that. “I’ve seen a few of those hellhounds in my time and in human myths they’re real and that they’re from a place that shouldn’t exists,” he let out a chuckle. “Here I am, a ten thousand year old human in a land full of magic and I still have a hard time believing that Hell might exists.”

“...Hell?”

“Let’s just say it’s a very bad place, alright?”

I nodded, looking back down at my work. “Say, Augustus, you said that it was a human-”

He raised a hand. “No.”

“Just-”

“I’m not going to talk about them.”

“But whyyyyy?” I whined, looking back up at him. “I mean I’ve gone through most of your books and you haven’t written anything about them!”

“Some things are meant to be left alone, Daring,” he warned, making me feel oddly guilty.

“Alright….”

He put down the stacks of paper. “I’m going to check the vents, I haven’t cleaned them in a while,” he grumbled, making his way through the door.

“Augustus, I’m-”

He stopped, looking over his shoulder and sighing. “No, it’s fine, its fine. Its still a sore subject and all…”

“I still shouldn’t have pressed,” I said, rubbing my shoulder, “I guess I’m a pretty bad house guest huh?”

He chuckled sadly, “The best one I’ve had in a long time. I think I might miss you when you’re gone.”

That did it. With a flap of my wings I flew up and toward the human, wrapping my hooves around him and almost knocking him over. “I’m not going without you,” I said, nuzzling the side of his head. “I told you that I’d help you and I’m a mare of my word. Besides, I still owe you for saving my life,” With another flap of my wings I gently landed back on the ground, my face slightly red from all of the touchy-feel-yness.

I cleared my throat. “Don’t tell anypony I did that,” I said as the human turned toward me, chuckling.

“Too late,” he told me with mirth in his eyes, pointing behind me, revealing the three lemurs staring at us curiously.

Despite myself, I couldn’t help but giggle as Augustus started back to the hallway. “Alright, I’ll be back in a couple of hours, I really do need to clean those vents. When those things get clogged and this temple gets really hot,” I watched as he walked out of sight. “Keep writing, Daring, I’ll fix your mistakes tomorrow.”

My eye twitched as his laughter echoed throughout the hall. “You’re lucky you’re kinda cute…” I muttered, sighing as I looked down at the mess that I mayyyy have caused with my little flight.

So after a load of grumbling on my part during my clean up I started on my book, which started a lot more grumbling as the day ended until I finally gave up and went to sleep on the nice little cot that Augustus set up for me.

I looked out of the window and sighed happily at the moonlit scenery. Even though the Everfree was a real scary place it was actually kinda pretty at night. I looked up at the ceiling, sighing as I closed my eyes. I wonder where Augustus is, I thought as I tried to ignore all of the sounds that a forest omitted at night. I mean, how hard is it it clean a bunch of-

Boom!

My eyes widened as the boom of thunder echoed throughout the stone walls, the flash of thunder following as I curled into a small ball, trying not to shake under the blanket.

“Come on, Daring,” I muttered to myself. “You’re a Pegasus for crying out loud! Lightning can’t even hurt you and-”

Boom!

I couldn’t help but let out a little yelp as I wrapped the blanket tighter around myself.

Ya, I know, a Pegasus that’s afraid of thunder and lightning, haha it’s funny so you should laugh at her. Just remember bub, there’s a bunch of bottles laying around that would love to get broken over your head.

So there I was, curled up into a ball, under a blanket, and shaking in mild terror when I heard the sound of those meaty steps that I had come to know.

“Daring,” Augustus called in a concerned voice. “Why are you shaking? Are you-”

Boom!

I let out a little whimper until I felt the human sit down beside me.

“I can see in the dark, Daring, now get out from under that blanket and tell me what’s wrong.”

I was about to silently tell him to go buck himself by ignoring him when I felt my blanket torn from me.

“H-hey,” I shimmered, my eyes darting around in panic. “Give t-that back and-”

Boom!

Boy did he look surprised when I wrapped him in a fear hug, my muzzle buried in the nape of his neck. I felt Augustus look around. “Seriously? You’re scared of lightning? But it thundered the other day”

“S-Shut up! That was during the day.”

“But you can just fly up and fixe-” I stopped when he felt me shaking, sighing and running his fingers through my mane.

“There, there,” he said, trying to sound soothing. “Don’t you worry, I’llmake sure the big bad thunder doesn’t get you… Quit biting me, Daring, you’re just gonna hurt you teeth.”

“I’m gonna buck you into next week you jerk.”

“Are you gonna be alright if I let you sleep by yourself?”

Boom!

I answered by hugging him harder, making him sigh again. “Fine,” he gently picked me up and scooted me over so he could lay down, throwing the blanket over us. “But don’t you say that I don’t do anything for you.”

I squeezed harder, half wanting to crush the light out of him and half of my wondering why he smelled so nice, or how warm he was. All of that almost made me forget that it was thundering outside.

Almost.

So Augustus had the honor of holding my shaking flank until I passed out from exhaustion., something I’m positive that he enjoyed. I’m not gonna say that I enjoyed it, nope, I’m not gonna. Because the humans eyes ruined it when I woke up to see them looking down at me, all glowy and predator-ee, which scared the buck outta me.

“Holy buck!” I shouted, falling out of the cot and hitting the hard, painful ground with a yelp. “Whipsy, Whipsy, I need you!”

“...Daring?”

I stopped my little sleepy panic to pop up head back over the cot to see a very confused Augustus looking down at me.

“Um…” I said as I fought down a little blush. “Good morning?”

Augustus silently looked at me for a minute longer before saying, “You call your whip, Whipsy?”

“...Yah.”

He scrunched his face a little bit. “But why?”

I rolled my eyes, hopping back up into the bed. “Because a mare always knows to name her whips so that they have a reason to hit their mark,” I told him like it was common knowledge, which it was. Go ask your mom, she’ll tell ya.

“Whatever you say,” he said getting up and cracking his neck. “Well, I’m gonna hit the shower and get some gardening done before the humidity gets any worse.”

“Wait!” I said, “Um, I wanna thank you for the whole 'sleeping with me while I was being a cry-baby' thing,” I said lamely. “I know it’s a silly thing for a Pegasus to be afraid of….” I looked away from him. “I must seem like a little filly huh?”

Now I was expecting maybe a bit of teasing or some laughter, not my hat being put onto my head as the human hopped back onto the cot, sitting right next to me as he said, “That’s not something that's silly to be scared of, Daring, its actually a pretty rational fear.”

I looked up at him. “You’re just saying that to make me feel better…”

He gave me a side-long glance. “What if I told you I used to be scared of the dark?”

“Really?”

“Terrified, actually I used to be scared of loads of things. In fact, even now I couldn’t do a lot of stuff you do now.”

I raised an eyebrow at him, waiting for an explanation.

“I mean your whole teaching thing, even after all of this time I have a hard time talking to crowds.”

Now I was pretty sure he was just trying to make me feel better. “Didn’t you say that you were a wise man and that you talked to people like everyday?”

He shook his head slowly. “Nope, can’t say that I recall that conversation.”

I almost rolled my eyes at that. “You’d think someone as old as you would be a better liar,” I muttered, grumbling as he knocked my hat off my head. “And he would act a little more his age.”

“A wise man once said that growing old in inescapable, growing up is optional,” he replied to me with a sagey look, which was ruined by the grin on his face.

“Well, thanks for trying to make me feel better anyway,” I muttered as he got back up.

“Just remember, Daring, everyone feels fear; its what we do when faced with those fears that defines us. There’s your wisemenness for the day,” He finished, leaving me sitting in that cot with my thinker going full steam ahead.

Huh, I guess he’s right, I thought as I laid back onto my bed. Even with my dumb little fear I’m still pretty awesome. I mean, it takes a big mare to admit her mistakes, I nodded slowly, a smile slowly growing on my face.

“That was pretty good advice I guess,” I said aloud, little lemur sounds coming from outside the windows, followed by my three new little lemur friends hopping into the cot with me giggling.

“How are you guys doing? Did you keep safe from the storm?” I smiled when they all nodded their little lemur heads, one of them holding something, which he held out to me.

“Aw, is that for Augustus?” They nodded again.

I carefully took what looked to be a bit of coal from the little lemur with a hoof. “How about I go and give this to him, huh?” I got up as they made their little adorable sounds of what I thought was approval .

“He should be done with his shower now, right?” I muttered as I tucked the coal carefully in the pocket of my shirt after I put the thing on so I wouldn’t get it all over me. “I mean guys usually take like ten minutes to get in and out and its going to take forever to find him....”

So I walked down through half-familiar hallways and corridors until I heard the sound of water. “There you are,” I muttered to myself, walking down the long set of steps. “Now where is-” I froze as I entered the main chamber; apparently Augustus was still taking his shower.

Oh curd! I thought as I all but dove behind a boulder. I need to get outta here and let the guy finish. Oh sweet Celestia, I feel like I’m a peeper! I poked my head from behind the big rock to see that the human hadn’t noticed me. All he was doing was whistling a happy tune, oblivious to the fact that he was being peer on by a prime prefect Pegasus.

Hehe, that last bit rhymed

Now how am I going to to get outta here without him noticing me? I thought as I ducked back down to avoid him when he turned around, thankfully not getting an eyeful.

Alright, I’m going to have to wait for him to leave, so I guess…. I thought, moving over on the other side of the rock so I could get a little peeping view.

Don’t you judge me! Every mare, I dare say every female on this earth, will get a little curious when they see an alien.

Once again go ask your mother about that, she’ll tell ya.

My head cocked into the perfect creeper position as I stealthily looked at the human. Huh, I wonder why you can see all of those muscles? That really doesn’t look healthy… He does have a nice flank though, and-

“Did you get enough of your little eyeful, Daring?” I stiffened, my face exploding into flusteredness as I hid back behind the boulder.

I heard Augustus sigh. “I heard you as soon as you entered the room. I can smell that there’s coal on you too; is that for me?”

I slowly walked out from behind the big rock, keeping my eyes glued to the ground as I got closer to the naked human. “If you keep your eyes down then its going to take you forever to get to me. Come on, Daring, we’re both adults here, I’m sure you’ve seen someone naked…. Ponies are still usually naked right?”

My eyes skipped all of the interesting bits and when right up to his amused-looking face. He stuck an arm out. “Come on, get over here and let me see it. And for gods sakes, quit blushing; what are you weird about nudity too?”

“S-Shut,” I stuttered, my eyes slowly drifting downwards until I wrenched them right back up.

Augustus facepalmed, grumbling to himself. “I’m not mad, girl, just get the peeping out of your system,” he grinned, “I’ll even do a little spin for you.”

I blushed a little harder as I hoofed him the coal. “Are you sure it’s fine?”

“Aha.”

...I mean he did give me permission after all and it would have been rude to just say no.

“So is it alright that you’re muscles are like that?”

“Yep, humans have a thinner skins you can see everything if the muscle is work on enough.”

“Huh…”

“Yep.”

“...”

“...”

“So you do have some hair on your body…”

“Yep, a bit on my chest, groin, and even under my arms.” Now that he was speaking about the groin…

“...Why is it all dangly like that? Is it-”

“No, it becomes erect.”

“...The head looks weird.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” he chuckled a little bit. “It kinda looks like you think it’s pretty dandy,” he pointed at my wings, which I only now noticed were kinda, sorta stiff.

“Wellyoulookatthetimegottagobye!” I said, turning around and sprinting out of the giant bathroom.

“If you need to rub one out don’t do it in my room!” Augustus casually called after me, his laughter following shortly after as I continued to flee. I would have went back and kicked his flank at that but I was a little too busy being embarrassed as I ran until I was hidden in a small, dark room.

After a little red-faced heavy breathing and I realized a few critical things. One, that I was the teasee not the teaser, like I usually am. Two, that human, that dumb, silly, human had the gaill not be be bashful when I walked in on him.

Look at me of buck’s sake! I could be on the cover of Playclot if I wanted and he didn’t even cover himself!

Don’t you try to take my fire-y shots away from me, I’m fine. Now sit back down and let me get to the part where I decided to seduce the guy.

So there I was, my hooves crossed against my chest as I sat down on that cold, hard floor when I had an idea, a awful, horrible, wonderful idea. I, Daring Doo, was going to seduce Augustus, the dungeon master and possible monster.

Why would I do such a thing, you might ask yourself. Since you wouldn’t appreciate the ‘just for laughs’ or the ‘none of your beeswax’ or the 'I just wanna get laid' answers then the truth will have to do then, eh?

Well, on the practical level it kinda made sense. If someone likes you they’re more likely to spill the beans on certain ruddle-y areas. On a more personal level, and if you ever see a six-foot minotaur-looking guy with glowing eyes don’t tell him I said this, but… I guess I kinda, sorta liked the guy.

I mean other than the fact that he saved my life he was a pretty neat guy. I mean, most wouldn’t house my flank for more than a day or two without tossing me out…. And he helped me get started on my books; heck, I got laughed at for telling somepony about wanting to write a book last time…

Did I mention that I also thought he had some really nice flanks? Cause he does. You could flick a bit off ‘em.

I mean how hard can it be? I thought as I got up, walking out of the room with a small smile and a little bit of a pip in my step. The guy said that its been like forever since he’s seen another pony, all I'll need is a bit of flank-waving and he’ll be as good as mine.

But boy was I wrong.

I mean, in between me trying to figure out the riddle and me reading everything that Augustus had in Equestrian, I was trying my best to seduce him with my patented Daring Doo three-step seduction plan, so I was getting some work done.

I was a bit more touchy feely whenever I was around the guy. Then he’d always ‘accidentally’ catch me in intimate moments, like me just coming out of that awesome shower still dripping wet, or me bending over to grab something on the ground with my flank in his general direction. Then there was the most important step, getting to personally know your seductee.

This was always the tricky step but a stallion always warms up to you after you do this. Augustus wouldn’t tell me anything about his early years, saying that he either forgot or that it was a bit too personal, but he was happy to tell me other things.

I also told him a bit more personal stuff about myself, stuff like family and stuff like that, and I may have told him what I was gonna do with him when we got out of this temple.

Not like that! I wasn’t going to throw the whole ‘I’mma have sex with you’ thing too soon….You need to ease into stuff like that.

I was speaking more on the lines of us going to see all of the stuff that Augustus hadn’t seen. I mean seeing something is a heck of a lot better than reading about them after all.

So when I usually do that three-step foolproof plan it’s just a few days, a week at most, before we do the nasty. Heck, I got one of those Wonderbolt guys in like two days, his name was Glidin or something like that. He wasn’t a great lay if I remember...... liked to bring pies to the bedroom for some reason....

And that’s all I’m gonna say about that.

When I tried to do it to Augustus though, the whole thing kinda backfired. Every time I got close to the guy to rub up against him or something like that my hooves would hit air, which was quickly followed by me getting slapped on the flank, which was followed by him laughing at me and me running back to my ‘think room’ with stiff wings.

So step one went up in flames.

Then, whenever I was picking stuff up or turned my flank toward him he always turned the tables. Also whenever he bent over to pick things up….

Unf, dat flank….

UNNNNNNFFFFFFF

That would also lead me to running to the room, red-faced, even making the lemurs laugh at me.

I mean, guess step three worked, he did tell me stuff about himself like I said, but not in the way that I wanted.

I couldn’t even take the humans actions as a sign that he wanted some because of how messed up his view of things like personal space and what’s acceptable to do to your friends or even in public. He even told me that ponies back in the day were waaaaay more touchy with each other back in the day. Like the stuff they did was so touchy that you could consider it almost foreplay now.

So it was many a night that I laid on my little cot, irritated that I still couldn’t figure out the riddle, enthused that I learned a neat little tidbit on history that day, and mildly upset that the human wasn’t in the same bed as me.

Ya ya, Daring is a sentimentalists, shut your trap.

I mean, I could have just told him, but what fun is that? So I was just going to just wait it out and keep applying my little plan until he crumbled like a piece of wet paper… Or at least that’s what I said to myself for first two weeks.

Then, after those two rather easy weeks, the human started to play hardball.

Remember, I still didn’t know if he was purposefully messing with me, so when he started walking around shirtless, sweaty and shirtless, I didn’t know what to think. I mean you could see all of the muscles in his chest and stomach…. which I thought was kinda hot, especially whenever he was wet.

I tried to fight fire with fire, walking around naked with just my hat, but it wasn’t the same when you knew that there was only a thin bit of clothing between me and his dangly bits and he was standing….

Ya, you get the idea.

But I was able to control myself until the temple decided to be a bitch and let one of the vents collapse, making the temple, which was really cool in this humid hellhole when everything was working, into a bunch of awfulness, which led me to help Augustus to repair the bucking thing......

Author's Note

*Ahuizotl is that blue guy that fights Daring in the show.

Well, here's the kinda story part of this whole thing. The cookie part of this preverbal story that you have to deal with before you can get to the rich(not really), creamy(also not really) center that you all just kinda want to get to.

Also, is there a plot to this thing? Because I can't figure find one...