At the End of the Tunnel

That night, as I slept, I had another one of those damned dreams that I hated so much. This time, there was no fog. I could see clearly my entire surroundings, and I could even move around. I seemed to be standing on a rather large rock in the middle of some sort of large river. I say river, since the water was flowing, and even splashing up onto the rock a bit, getting my tennis shoes wet. At first, I thought it was just a strange first act of a dream that would sort itself out. That was, until I heard that voice which was like sandpaper to my ears.

"And here we are," it said.

"Oh, shut up," I countered, not in the mood for this, "I've had a long day, the least you could do is let me rest."

"What's the fun in that? You know I like playing mind games with you."

"Oh, ha, ha, ha. How long have you been holding onto that joke?"

"You'd be surprised by how funny I can be at times. You just don't understand my sense of humor. You never did."

"That's because you never had one," I deadpanned, "OK, so you got me standing on a rock in the middle of a surging river which I can't even begin to think about crossing. I'm guessing this is another one of your bloody puzzles, isn't it?"

"Give the man a reward."

"Obvious representation of how I am the lone rock in the river. Forever destined to simply be passed by by those around me, affecting the lives, or 'flow' of some people, but never for very long. What's my reward?"

"OK, maybe I did make this one a little too obvious."

"Not to mention you've used this message before. That I'm alone, that I'm all alone, and that will never change. Well I've got a newsflash for you, I haven't been feeling very alone recently."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, really. These ponies have been very nice to me. I came out of the clear blue sky, literally, and they have treated me like one of their own. They are the most kind, respectful, docile, accepting, creatures I have ever had the good fortune to encounter. And if being with them means I have to put up with you a couple of times, then bring it, bitch!"

I felt a blast of cold air hit me right in the chest, and then a much more specific slap across the face, left-to-right. This shot caused my head to twist, but I quickly righted myself.

"How dare you call me that!" the voice screamed, nothing I wasn't used to, "I should just throw you in this river and kill you!"

"You wouldn't do that," I said calmly, tasting blood in my mouth, "if I die, you die as well. You can only keep having fun with me if I stay alive. Makes me wonder sometimes why you're so adamant to see me kill myself."

Another stream of air rushed in from my left and swirled around, leaving some vapor floating in front of me. It slowly materialized into a physical form. Before long, a woman, a couple inches shorter than me, of average build, sporting shoulder-length black hair with multiple piercings in each ear, stood before me. Like every other time she had actually physically shown herself off in one of my dreams, she appeared in the last outfit I had seen her in, a black spaghetti-strap halter top which ironically read "Bitch" with a matching black skirt, which showed off not only a little bit of midriff, but the lengthy legs which I had to admit were her best physical feature.

"It's not like I pushed you off that damn bridge."

"Oh come on, Kirsten, that's like an executioner saying they didn't kill the man, they simply turned on the electric chair."

"Well, Alan--,"

"Guy," I interrupted.

"What?"

"I prefer Guy, the name the ponies gave me. It helps me to forget nightmares like you."

"You're such a pussy sometimes, you know that?"

"I just love it when you have to descend to name-calling. It means I'm winning."

Another gust of cold air blasted my left leg and buckled it, knocking me down onto the same side of my face which had received the slap. Once again I tasted the salty aftertaste of my own blood. Kirsten took a few steps in her three-inch heels to cross the rock and stand over me, giving me a swift kick to my midsection to let me know she was there.

"Your knees always were your weak spot."

"If this is how you want to play, bitch," I responded between coughs of blood, "then let's--"

I was interrupted by the sky becoming very dark and cloudy. A slight fog set in between me and my assailant.

"What the fuck," she said, backing off, "this isn't my doing."

Quickly, she returned to her vaporous form and disappeared from the rock. With her gone and the fog getting deeper, I laid on my stomach, allowing the blood to seep from the corner of my mouth. Just when I thought the nightmare was over and I would wake up, another voice came out of the fog, but one that I actually appreciated hearing.

"Art thou alright," it was Princess Luna's voice.

"No. No I'm not alright," I slowly said, having to keep myself conscious in an unconscious dream-state, which is just about as weird as it sounds, "Luna, help me."

I was swiftly enveloped in the fog. All I could do from my prone position was close my eyes and wait to see how Luna intended to help. When I opened my eyes again, I had completely changed positions. I was now on my back, looking up at a picturesque sky filled with many puffy white clouds. After sitting up on the grassy hillside, I looked out onto a crystal clear lake.

"Beautiful, is it not?"

"Yes, Luna," I turned to my right to face the sitting princess, "it is."

"We expect that thou would appreciate an explanation."

"That would be nice," I answered, turning back toward the lake.

"As the Princess of the Night, one of our duties is to come into the dreams of our subjects and protect them. This often leads to what We like to call 'nightmare-busting'."

"Which is what you did for me. I'm surprised you can come into my dreams, seeing as I'm not a pony."

"Yes, 'twas a surprise for us as well. I saw the last time you had a nightmare like this one, but I couldn't do anything about it. We suppose that between then and now, thou has become much more accepted as a being in this world, particularly by our subjects, and thus are susceptible to our magic."

"Well I'm glad you showed up."

"Pray tell, who exactly was that attacking thou?"

I sighed and rubbed both my hands over my face. It was at this point that I realized that there was no more blood taste in my mouth. I guess since you can't bleed in a dream, Luna's magic had stopped my bleeding.

"You don't want to know," I finally answered, my hands still covering my face.

"Will the she-devil return?"

I laughed at Luna calling Kirsten a "she-devil." I would have to use that one the next time we crossed paths.

"Yes, she will. Eventually, anyway."

"What would she have done with thou."

"Oh, probably torture me with memories for six hours or so and make sure I wake up in the middle of a REM cycle so that I'm tired when I awake."

"'Tis dreadful!"

"You haven't heard the half of it."

"Pray tell."

I sighed again, trying to figure out if I could stall this entire conversation to where I wouldn't have to tell the princess anything.

"That she-devil bitch that you scared away," I started, "was my last real girlfriend, marefriend, whatever, Kirsten. She destroyed my life."

"How did one little ass ruin thou life?"

"I'm afraid if I tell you here, that it will bring back the nightmare," I said flatly. I once again sunk my head in my hands.

"'Tis alright," Luna said, first sadly, but then she perked up, "We shall simply visit thou in the morn. Expect us when thou wakest up. Which should be in just a few seconds."

"What do you--"

***************************************************

I awoke from my nightmare-turned-dream in a surprisingly good humor. My grogginess was broken by a series of knocks on the front door. Noting that Twilight and Spike were still asleep, I got up, wearing the pair of athletic shorts Rarity had made me, threw on a shirt and headed downstairs to answer the door. When I opened it, none other than the midnight blue-maned princess of the night was standing there.

"Pr-Princess Luna," I stuttered, momentarily forgetting what she had told me.

"Why art thou surprised? Did We not tell you that We would be visiting thou in the morning?"

"Yes, yes you did. I had just forgotten for a moment. Um, I would invite you in, but I wouldn't want to wake Twilight and Spike."

"Understood. Perchance thou would accompany us on a walk. There is much to discuss about thou nightmares."

I nodded, exiting the library, being particularly cautious to close the door quietly. For a moment I thought of the scene Twilight might make if she woke up and couldn't find me, but I quickly put that fear to rest.

I led Luna on a walk to the far side of town, near Sweet Apple Acres. I was walking barefoot, which was a little unusual, but it wasn't completely uncomfortable. Applejack had on multiple occasions questioned my need for footwear, as all the ponies got by without them everyday. I had explained to her, and others, that human feet weren't as hardy as pony hooves, and that I could easily hurt myself without anything covering them.

"So, wherest thou were we in our little dream chat," Luna asked as we headed down the dirt road.

"You asked me how the she-devil ruined my life," I glumly responded, mentally slapping myself for providing the correct answer and missing a perfect opportunity to change the subject.

"Ah yes, 'tis a troubling story, surely."

"You took the words out of my mouth," I conceded, "in fact, I'm not sure I can tell it without being brought to some kind of emotional breakdown."

"'Tis only us," Luna reassured me, "We would not judge thou, no matter how much thou cry."

"Who said anything about crying?"

"Thou mentioned emotions, didsn't thou not?"

I couldn't tell at this point whether Luna was just messing with me or if she knew more than she was letting on. I presumed that she had been privy to all the pertinent information about me and my world that I had told Twilight during our little talks, but I had never told Twilight about Kirsten or any of it. I had always avoided the subject for my own safety.

However, there was something about walking with an immortal princess, one who was being so sympathetic to my situation, that calmed me.

"OK Luna," I finally conceded, "I'll try to explain. We can sit by the lake. It's just around this bend."

Indeed, around the next bend in the road sat the local swimming hole, one of Rainbow Dash's favorite places to take a nap. Fortunately, it being so early in the morning, there was no sign of anypony. Luna and I sat down on the water's sandy edge.

"We are waiting with baited breath," Luna said, completely serious.

"Well, I don't know what you've heard from Twilight or Celestia about my mental condition, but I haven't been healthy for a very long time."

"We have heard," Luna looked at me intently, "We give our condolences that thou feelest upset."

"I was happy for awhile," I continued, "I had a lot of good things. I had a decent-enough job, I had disposable income, everything I ever wanted. Then I met Kirsten."

"Is that the cursed harpy's name?"

"Yes. At first I saw her as, I don't know, some kind of dark angel. She was beautiful, snarky, and into a lot of the same things I was, and into some other things that I would learn that I was."

"That does not sound bad."

"It wasn't. It was great. For the first month or so of our relationship, everything was going swimmingly."

"What changed?"

"I'm not sure what changed," I could feel the emotions catching up in my chest, "Maybe it had been happening the entire time and I just didn't notice, but she began to mentally manipulate me."

"Thou seem a little too smart to be manipulated."

"I've said that exact thing to myself so many times," I felt the first tears begin to well up, I sniffed them back down, "I shouldn't have let it happen."

"Thou did not 'let' anything happen to you. If she acted all the time as We saw her in your nightmare, then thou were being abused."

"That's one thing I've been wondering about?"

"What is that?"

"She may have been verbally and mentally abusive, but she was never physically abusive in real life. But she is in the nightmares all the time."

"But that isn't really her," Luna said in her best therapist voice, "it is simply thou mind's representation of the harpy. Thou mind feels the pain much more than any other part of thou, and thus makes her act much worse than she did in the real world. But do not think that We are saying that what happened to thou in your world was proper behavior."

"I know you're not saying that, Luna."

"What did thou do when thou realized that the relationship was dangerous?"

"I ended it."

"And that wasn't it?"

"No, unfortunately, she wouldn't let go. I already had some mental scars from previous incidents in my childhood, and she knew about those. She used those against me, constantly trying to remind me and make me worse."

"How was that harpy still around after thou ended the relationship?"

"We had friends in common, and they took sides. Some felt that she was a total bitch that was making me unhappy, but some thought that I ended it because I couldn't handle her issues, in other words, that I wasn't enough of a man to be with her. Most of these critiques I could laugh off as just plain stupidity, but some latched onto my psyche like fucking parasites."

"The nerve of some ponies, uh, people."

"I believe the word you're looking for is 'assholes'," I half-laughed, "Anyway, it all came to a head when she attempted suicide. Swallowed a whole bottle of sleeping pills. Unfortunately, the bitch was drunk when she took them, so they didn't even make her drowsy, let alone kill her. However, she had written a suicide note, blaming me for driving her to the fatal decision, which wasn't true at all. Like I said, she had her own issues. But after being in the ER after her failed attempt, all her friends latched onto the note and began harassing me. I tried to ignore it all as best I could, but even in a big city, it spread like wildfire. She was even part of a small newspaper report about what drives female suicide. Her piece was all about the terrible boyfriend, and this just made the fires grow. Soon, everyone who recognized her name and knew that I had been her last boyfriend before her attempt shunned me. Suddenly, I didn't have anybody I could talk to or count on. I still went to my therapist and psychiatrist, but then the dreams started," I was crying at this point, "I would go three, four days without getting any sleep, because as soon as I shut my eyes, the nightmare would begin."

That was all I could take. I began to breakdown. I laid on my back in the sand and pounded the ground with my fist.

"'Tis alright," Luna tried to reassure me, "nothing or nopony is going to hurt you here."

"Something will," I tried to speak through the tears, "just you wait and see."

"Does thou not have friends here," Luna asked, already knowing the answer.

"Sure, but they don't understand, they can't understand."

"We understand, we think," Luna tried to say confidently, "There are many kind ponies here and elsewhere in Equestria who will listen to thou. Talk to Twilight Sparkle, or perhaps Fluttershy." For some reason, the mention of the shy pegasus made my crying lessen somewhat.

"You're right," I got out when my blubbering had ceased, "I've been holding a lot in because I wasn't sure where to start. I've been so reliant on medicine to make me feel better, that I had almost forgotten what it was like to actually talk to someone about it who would be objective. Thanks, Luna."

"Anytime. And now that We know what to look for, We shall do our best to protect thou from further nightmares. We do not make promises, however."

"Much appreciated," I chuckled, "I can usually take her on myself, last night was just a particularly bad one."

"We shall remain vigilant and keep an eye out anyway," Luna repeated, seemingly quite pleased with her ability to help me with a problem.

"Thanks again, Luna."

"No problem, Guy. Thou will be alright."

The princess of the night proceeded to wrap both of her forehooves around me in a kind of hug. I reciprocated by reaching up behind my head with my hand and lightly running it along her mane.