Ponies, Please

I knew Rainbow Dash’s attempt to enter Stalliongrad wouldn’t spell good news. The next day, she tried returning and was placed under arrest. President Twilight Sparkle had called for her to be released, but the government of Stalliongrad wasn’t budging. Tensions were high, and the immigrations booth had a new note on it today.

Deny all Equestrians.

This, of course, still left ample wiggle room for any other applicant. The Crystal Empire wasn’t on the ban list, and neither were the divided states of the gryphon homelands. Likewise, the minotaur’s Taurian Kingdom was allowed clearance, though I was still unsure about the diamond dogs. Usually they were considered smugglers made up of disbanded tribes, but I had never seen one of their kind here before, so I didn’t think I’d have to worry about it.

The line this time was much more colorful in terms of race than actual color. Minotaurs, gryphons, ponies, the odd human and or two, all were vying to get into the city with the new opportunity now that Equestrians were denied. And it was my job as usual to approve or deny them entry.

The first entrant walked up with an Equestrian passport, earning an instant red stamp from me. Before she could protest, I turned on the microphone, calling for the next in line.

This time it was a rather large minotaur, him having to squat down for me to see him eye to eye. His passport checked out alright, and overall he didn’t seem too odd. Although, when he made his leave, he deposited another one of those brothel cards into my slot, telling me to come over for a good time if I wanted to.

Bastard.

And next there was a human, who, surprise, surprise, was Jorji. Great, just what I needed in the morning, another potential security breach. Like the guards weren’t tying a noose around my neck tight enough as it is.

“Hello, friend! Today is crazy day! Are you okay? Plenty of guards and guns. I think I even see president!” She must be here to retrieve Rainbow Dash. If there’s trouble today, things could go very sour very quickly.

“Papers, please,” I asked, crossing my hooves together on my booth’s desk.

Jorji handed me his papers, which looked legitimate enough, which was surprising. Probably more so than a rebel throwing themselves at the border guards in a suicide attack. At least that one I expected as a daily occurrence. I double checked my registry book and even my ledger, taking extra time out of my busy schedule to make doubly sure, but it was all there.

I stamped his passport green, then handed it back over to him. “Here you go, sir.”

“Thank you, friend! Now I can know for sure that Stalliongrad is greatest countr—” He was cut off with a deafening bang. Somebody had fired off a gun in mere yards away from my booth. I closed the shutters and reached for my own rifle, opening up the back door of my booth, and then looking down the scope on the other side to see an odd sight.

Near the edge of the border, President Twilight and her guards were escorting Rainbow Dash out of the city. However, the strange thing was a pony—from Equestria most likely— was running towards them and… attacking her own president?

Thankfully, Twilight raised a magical shield over herself and the newly released Rainbow Dash. I shot the attacking earth pony in the leg, causing her pistol to clatter to the ground out of her mouth.

“Good shot,” Jorji complimented as I lowered my rifle.

“I’ll probably get a citation for it,” I remarked. Not like he would care any which way, now that he could go inside the city. Returning to my booth, I opened up my shutters, Jorji still present. “You know, you can go in now, right?”

“Of course, friend! I’m sure plenty of ponies will love my wares!”

“Your wares? Wait, are you some sort of smuggler?” I asked, my hoof wavering over the security button.

Jorji laughed again, walking out of the booth and into the city-state. “Nothing bad. Is drugs!” I don’t know where Jorji got the idea that drugs were suddenly legal in either country, but before I could stop him he had waltzed into the city’s borders. “Stalliongrad still best country! The best!”

“It’s a city-sta—ah, forget it,” I muttered, at this point not caring whatever the hell he was bringing into the city. With that recent shooting, the guards were busy as it is.

Stepping out of my booth, I watched the security guards getting the attacker restrained to drag her away, while Princess Twilight was trying to lead Rainbow Dash back to her home country. Well, I guess it was official. My job was never going to be easy ever again.

Not like it was in the first place.