Author's Note

So sadly, for a time, this will be the only chapter by my coauthor. Life stuff is getting in the way, however they are still on board for helping preread, which is good.

Anyway, on we go, weee!

4: When The Grim Dark Stallion Is In The Far Future, There Are Only Groans.

The silence was something Sombra found worth savoring after the minutes since his resurrection. There had been more camaraderie and friendly antagonism than he had seen in the last thousand years, and a respite was sorely needed.

He hesitated at the threshold to the bathroom. Carpets, wooden furnitures, cushions… this place had so many soft comforts it was driving him mad. Whatever happened to good old crystal? He had an empire of the stuff once.

Sombra had a long, deep sigh. What fun those days were.

He walked over to inspect the bathtub, and was royally disappointed that the blue and red markings on the knob were exaggerated representations. This “tub”-implement did not dispense red hot lava or frigid, icy winds, merely hot or cold water, depending on his preference.

The cold setting produced water several degrees above the melting point. Even so, it was comfortable. He wasn’t allowed to lower the temperature since his… mare had ordered him not to use his magic, but even so, he let out a small moan of pleasure as he slid into the cold water, and if he closed his eyes he could almost pretend he was back in his old domain on a cold evening when the wind was still.

There was a knock on the door leading into the office, clearly audible through the open door leading into the bathroom.

“Uhm! Counselor Starlight!” a young stallion’s voice called. “Are you in there?”

Starlight… that was the name of the mare who commanded him to his very essence. What was it she said? Oh yes. Sombra couldn’t help but smile to himself.

“Me and the counselor are busy, young one!” he called, the satisfied smile evident from his tone.

“Oh, uhm… okay! Uh, what with, and… when will she be available and... uhm, who are you?”

“She seemed most preoccupied with her heat. young one. I see no end to her struggle in sight, and I am the one keeping her busy!”

There was nothing but silence for a few moments.

“Oh, uh… okay, I uh… I think I get it. Alright, uhm… thanks anyway!”

“One more thing, young one!”

“Yeah?”

“She wants you to ‘come back’ later,” Sombra called, in his best baritone.

“Oh, uh… wow. Okay, I’ll do that.”

“Good. Now run along.”

Sombra leaned back into the frigid waters and smiled contentedly to himself. Maybe things weren’t so bad after all?

After a few moments of relaxation, Sombra cleaned his mane and scrubbed the hooves and horn, infusing his coat with scents of plants from distant, fiersome places. No doubt the scent of highly poisonous, pony-eating plants that instilled an instinctual fear in those around them.

He slowly walked back towards the office, when he caught sight of himself in the mirror, and paused.

The mirror showed a stallion of impressive stature- tall, broad, and powerful, with a strong jaw with sharp fangs sticking out of his mouth. A shining coat, impressive mane and tail that would billow threateningly in the slightest wind, large hooves with unshorn fetlocks for increased intimidation factor, a large and wicked-looking horn, and fierce eyes that exuded a miasma of vile darkness.

That blue mare from earlier had acted very strange when he had held her close to him. It wasn’t fear, but it felt kind of flattering like fear did.

Sombra let out a dark, brooding sigh, then moved on.

Starlight’s office was filled with bookshelves and instruments, a desk, scrolls, and of course, books.

Sombra walked up to a shelf full of scrolls, and considered if carelessly pulling it all out counted as damaging the neat stack.

With a dejected sigh, he bit down on a scroll, taking care not to puncture it with his fangs, and unfurled it.

…

Sombra wasn’t expecting much, and yet he still managed to become disappointed with the scroll showing something as inane as a school report.

At least it told him what kind of facility this was. He folded it up again, and replaced it, instead moving to inspect the books.

Breaking In Your Students, How To Keep Parents From Running Roughshod Over Your Teaching Style, Horsing Around- The Importance of Leisure at School, When Your Faculty Are Saddled With Too Much. Sombra was getting worried, he had been ordered to read a book or something, with that “or something” being highly restricted. If he didn’t find anything better soon, he’d have to read about how to keep order in a classroom.

Still, the thought of being taught how to keep a class quiet was slightly amusing, when he had kept entire cities quiet.

To his relief, he found a book on the recent history of modern Equestria.

Sombra removed the carpet from the floor, crouched down and tapped the wooden floor, and sighed. There was a large cabinet with a glass door against one wall. If only he had been allowed a little destruction, he could have removed the glass and rested against that as he read.

Wood would have to do. He settled down on the, to him, soft throne, to start reading…

… When he looked out a window and caught sight of the enormous, glorious, wonderful-looking PURE CRYSTAL CASTLE right across town!

After a minute, Sombra’s hoof automatically moved to catch a string of drool coming from his mouth, to shield the book beneath his head. His mouth slammed shut with a snap, and he growled, before grudgingly taking his eyes off the wonderful sight and went back to reading.

Sombra liked maps, and statistics, and tables with numbers, and the little calculations he did in his head when he took it in.

After some time of reading about this new Equestria he hadn’t had the chance to see yet, the door opened, and Starlight came in.

Sombra looked up only long enough to see the relief on her face.

“Oh, are you reading?”

“Yes.”

“What about?”

“About how the world has changed since I have been gone. What has been built and lost.”

Starlight’s eyes carefully lit up. “Is it interesting?”

“Yes, plans for world domination are always interesting,” Sombra said, matter-of-factly.

“Oh,” Starlight said, her ears falling. “You’re not actually going to conquer the world are you?”

Finally, Sombra looked up at her with an even expression. “If you are commanding me to give you facts you are commanding me to foresee the future.”

Starlight’s eyes darted back and forth as she considered this.

“Well? Do I have to speak the truth?” Sombra asked, impatiently.

“Uhm, actually, that might be a good idea, yeah. Don’t lie.”

Sombra let out a sigh, his face and posture remaining absolutely still. “Then I do not know,” he said, before looking down at the book.

Starlight looked at Sombra for a moment, before doing her best to perk up. “Hey, let’s go get something to eat.”

“No.”

“No? Wait! Does that mean– no, that wasn’t an order,” Starlight said to herself, while Sombra looked at her warily through the corner of his eye. “Okay, how about this: Would you like to go get something to eat?”

“Yes,” Sombra immediately said, making himself look up in surprise.

“Great! Let’s go then.”

Sombra remained slouched on his throne for a moment as Starlight got up and bounded out the room, before getting up willingly, sparing himself the indignation of being ordered.

The town of Ponyville was peaceful, pastoral, orderly, and calm. All that was really needed was for the temperature to drop below freezing point and have all the ponies be in chains, and Sombra would have found it to his liking.

“So, what do you want to eat?” Starlight asked.

“I do not know,” Sombra said, keeping his gaze locked straight ahead.

“How about some ice cream?” she asked.

“Some what?”

“Here, I’ll show you,” Starlight said, and pulled Sombra over to what looked like a house made out of pastries.

Sombra hoped the building was a trap for foolish young foals to be trapped in, and while there were certainly young ponies in there who sort of seemed incapable of leaving, it wasn’t in the way Sombra had hoped for.

“This is Sugarcube Corner,” Starlight announced. “My friend Pinkie Pie works here, with Mr and Mrs Cake.”

“That’s right, dear,” a mare happily said. “So who is this handsome hunk you’ve managed to reel in?”

Sombra immediately felt a certain respect for the mare. Few ponies were both so ruthless and fierce that they managed to grow so large and rotund, at least not under his rule.

“I, uh, what? I-eh, nopony,” Starlight said, shifting nervously on her hooves. “I mean, he’s uh… not my, uhm… this is… Blacklight! Shade Blacklight.”

“Oh. What’s that coming out of his eyes?”

“The fel darkness of the neth–”

“Uh! It’s the latest!” Starlight interrupted. “All the stallions in… Fillydelphia, has that, or wants to have it.”

“… I see,” the rotund mare said. “Hello. I’m Cup Cake. Welcome to Sugarcube Corner.”

Sombra found himself inclining his head slightly at the mare. “Charmed.”

Mrs Cake smiled at the stallion, and then smiled some more. Eventually, it was becoming a little strained. “May I take your order?” she asked.

Starlight let out a relieved sigh. “Yes, two blueberry muffins.”

“They’re almost ready,” Mrs Cake said. “It should only be a few more minutes.”

“Okay, uhm, can we each have a raspberry popsicle while we wait”

“Of course,” Mrs Cake said, and retrieved two packages from behind the counter. “Enjoy.”

“Of course,” Starlight said, and nudged Sombra, voicing out of the side of her mouth, “Let us enjoy this indeed.”

Sombra looked down at Starlight, unfazed. “If that is your will.”

Starlight took the two articles in her magic, and they sat down at a booth, facing each other, and Sombra lazily letting his gaze drift across the room.

“What is this place?”

“It’s… a restaurant. Haven’t you ever been to a restaurant?”

“An eatery?” Sombra asked.

“Yes.”

“I see.”

Sombra hummed, and looked around some more. His eyes shot wide open when he saw an unfamiliar device in front of him.

It was a glass vial, with a metal top with holes through it, containing finely grounded salt. Crystal with crystal with crystal. Glorious!

Sombra immediately wrapped his hoof around the interesting object, and into his mouth it went.

Starlight’s mouth fell open and her eyes widened in horror as Sombra merrilly crunched the salt shaker in his strong jaws, looking very pleased with this development.

She carefully held out the popsicle for him once he had swallowed, and then thought better of it. She removed the paper packaging, and then held it out for him in her magic.

“What’s this?”

“The thing we’re actually here to eat,” Starlight said.

Most of the raspberry popsicle disappeared into Sombra’s mouth, including the tip of the wooden stick, and he considered the part he hadn’t eaten yet.

“Flavored ice. How novel.”

“You were supposed to enjoy that,” Starlight said, her ears struggling to stay upright.

Sombra cocked his head slightly at her. “Then you’ll be pleased to hear I did.”

“Oh. You weren’t supposed to eat the stick though.”

Sombra looked at the frayed end of the little piece of wood. “Then why include it?”

“It’s, uhm… it’s for holding it, so your hooves don’t get all sticky.”

“A transport arrangement and cutlery, built into the article itself. Fascinating,” Sombra said, nodding to himself as he wondered what other curious advancements had been made in Equestria.

Starlight was spared an answer when Mrs Cake appeared next to them, setting down one blueberry muffin each in front of them.

“Here you go, my dears. Enjoy.”

“Thank you,” Starlight said, as Sombra nodded in recognition to Mrs Cake.

“Well, go ahead,” Starlight said. “My treat.”

Sombra watched impassively as Starlight took a bite out of her muffin.

“What’s wrong?” she asked. “Don’t you want it?”

Sombra raised an eyebrow at her. “Does that matter? It’s your treat, as you said.”

“What? No, I mean, I…” Starlight started, and tried groaning a headache away. “What I meant was that I ordered that muffin for you.”

Sombra inspected the pastry in front of him. “I see,” he said, and studied the size of Starlight’s bite out of her own muffin, and tried imitating her. His gaze intensified when he tasted the berries inside.

“So, how do you feel about everything?” Starlight said. “It must be different from how you remember Equestria.”

“Hrm… certainly,” Sombra growled, spraying the table with moist crumbs.

“So, do you have any questions? Anything you’re curious about?”

Sombra poked at the muffin. “Yes. How did they manage to insert these little berries into the bread without breaking it?”

Starlight stared in disbelief at Sombra for a moment, before laughing.

Sombra didn’t care, he just kept inspecting the muffin.

“Is that what’s really on your mind?”

“No, I’m trying to devise a plan on how to get back into control and achieve true invincibility.”

Starlight’s smile became strained at that. “Oh. Uhm… do you have any leads?” she asked, as the bell over the entrance jingled from the door opening.

“Yes. If a champion who has defeated me would present themselves, I might be able to figure it out.”

Starlight’s eyes widened when she saw who entered the shop.

“Hey, Starlight,” Spike said, as he walked towards the counter.