Welcome to the Friendship Institute. This book is designed to prepare you—mind and body—for conversion into a pony. Please read this, alone, away from external interferences such as security nurses and fellow inpatients. Read. Remember. Comprehend.

When in Diurnal Equestria, see only Diurnal Equestria. When in Nocturnal Equestria, see only Nocturnal Equestria. There are only two kingdoms. There is no third—Hippolyta—lurking in the shadows. Trust in Concordia to protect the ponies and the ponies

As a newly naturalised Equestrian subject, you get occasional letters from the Princesses of Harmony about pony customs. You just didn't expect to get one from Applejack, about Hearts and Hooves. And why is it telling you to remain calm?

It's Hearth's Warming Eve, time for family, friends and tales of giant pony-eating cats. (Thanks Iceland!) Oh and don't forget the terrorists holding Twilight's guests to ransom. Why doesn't Twilight's Castle have guards again?

Twilight communicates linguistic predicament unto Princess Celestia utilising extremely simplified thousand entry lexicon. Jinkies! Yarn's description adopts theme opposing Twilight's quandry.

"Stop reading those dusty old books, Twilight!" she says. "Make new friends, Twilight," she says. With whom? The psycho Nightmare Moon cultists that are trying to kill me? Sweet Epona, this is not my day!