Rainbow Dash really wants to buy a hat from Applejack, but for some asinine reason she plans on taking 2000 chapters to do so. Man, who would write such drivel? Who would bother parodying it? Super Trampoline, apparently.

Lily Valley really wants some Chineighs food, but not the crappy vegetarian stuff they serve in Canterlot. She wants some of that sweet & sour & just the right hint of spicy Orange 🍗. So naturally, she turns into a truck. Donn DeVore guest stars.

Celestia destroys a school. Rarity has to kill a bunch of assassins before they assassinate Sweetie Bot! Celestia is a reactionary. Then Rarara and Quibble Pants start making out. And then Night Light joins them! Then he starts crying! Licky Flitter

Pinkie Pie Eats a Lot of Sugar and then viciously conquers Equestria in this Speed Writing Challenge which ended up taking about 32 minutes when all was said and done.

Pinkie Pie's coltfriend get's kidnapped, in this tense thriller I ate in an hour. Oops I mean wrote in an hour at an the West Valley Branch of the LA Library.

Rarity is a fan of the only Native American band to have a top-five hit. Huh, who knew? Also, Twilight kidnaps a bunch of young ponies for really creepy but stupid reasons.

Waluigi's facial hair romances everyone's favorite EQG waifu and then Twilight makes a bet with Pinkie Pie which keeps getting more bizarre. A speedfic written entirely during the second of my hour-long library computer reservations.

Fluttershy didn't listen. She ate a weasel. Now all must pay. A speedwrite begun and finished while I have this library computer for a one hour reservation.

Some ponies do not have wings, yet wish to fly. Cherry Berry, Pinkie Pie, and Starlight Glimmer, they overcome this obstacle in various ways. Spring Loaded seeks to soar through the air on a super trampoline. What could go wrong?

Fluttershy deals with various problems with her nicotine vaporizer, Marine Le Pen comes to Equestria, the girls go to earth, mostly Montana to defeat springs that are killing people.

Snoozlerazz discovers faces, visits the DMV, and makes out with her teacher, all while attempting to annoy people so she doesn't starve. A Super Cynepoline Wulf collaboration

Equestria, where the friendship is magic and the romance is probably also even more magical. Well, usually. Sometimes, not so much.

These are the poorly written short stories EFNW 2017 guests have requested

In a world where evil triumphs and good falters, can one brave shark clean up the waters of N E W C A N T E R L O T ?

Daring Do rips her jeans and has to go home to repair them. But can you ever truly go home?