Bearings of life

I shut the book. It's been quite a few hours, and I've cried quite a bit. I can't look at the things others see in the same way. I walk out the door waving goodbye to Spike, who doesn't notice due to his persistence in working.

I can't walk straight, only zig-zag-y because I am still deeply thinking about something. I dare not show it, except I can't see what my face seems like. I can hear laughter echoing across the town. No doubt "Pinkie an' Dash" are out. I can practically see Twilight rolling her eyes behind them. I think of my run-in with Applejack. A reason... a sad reason. Just like all the ones that can make me cry on the spot... The ones that make me cry... make me cry... I'm flowing down my cheeks still, though no one is around. I'm a little glad for that... though I don't know why. It's a little depressing, the way that I think sometimes.

I am slowly, slowly, slowly, walking down the road as I leave the Library  The whisper of wind comes and goes, and I can almost hear a secret blown through the town.

Or maybe I'm hearing myself...

"-and then the giant stuffed turkey EXPLODES so that the ponies are SPLAT-ed with ice cream and then THAT'S!... when I licked everyone."

"Pinkie... I said we didn't need to know that."

"But Dashie said I could say it so I told her, it's your fault you were listening."

"But Pinkie, you were shouting through rows of houses and megaphoning to everypony you saw!"

"Well Dashie was the only one that wanted to listen so it's still your fault. Right, Dashie?"

"..."

"Dashieeeee... come out and plaaay...!"

"...Pinkie..."

"Yees?"

"BWAHAHAHAHAHA HOW COULD YOU DO ALL THAT IF I WAS THERE I WOULD HAVE ALL THAT MILK RUNNING OUT MY NOSE BWAHAHAHA!!!!"

"HAHAHAHA!!!"

"HAHAHAHA!!!"

"So, Horizon, what'd you thinka all that?"

Applejack lays a hoof on my back with a smug look on her face.

Huh? When had they gotten close? They're practically facing me. I must have forgotten to move...

"Hur... um?"

"So nice ta see ya'gain. What's a lonely stallion like you still wanderin' round here?"

"Still? You were out before?"

Applejack and Rainbow Dash question me deeply. Rarity is rolling her eyes.

"So when did you start dating Flutters over here?"

"Wha-"

"Didja have a mean family?"

"I-"

"HOLD UP, applejack. Here is a big one. Which. Is. The. Best. Cupcake. Now answer me or I will hurt you."

"Um... I-"

"Dash, donchu think thas' goin' a bit-"

"Applejack! Let the stallion answer the question."

Rainbow Dash presses her face forward and I move back.

"Um... well... I... Iced-dream cupcakes?"

"YES! Alright then. Now I know I can trust you. All yours AJ."

"Nice. Sooooooo... Horizon. What is the big deal with... your thoughts?"

"Applejack... that's really personal."

To my surprise, Fluttershy has stood up for me.

"What? But why?"

"It... just is."

I can tell from the way she shuffles nervously that she doesn't usually speak against her friends.

"Hmm. What couldit be?"

"Fluttershy's right. This is no way to treat a gentlecolt such as Horizon anyway. Would you care to come with us and chat over a spot of tea?"

Rarity is smirking to Applejack.

"I... I would love to, but-"

"Fabulous! Come along, now."

Rarity starts trotting off towards her home. Rainbow Dash and Applejack nudge me along. Soon enough, all seven of us pile into Rarity's home. It smells of flowers all over.

"Care for tea, anypony?"

"I'll have a little."

"Me too, if you don' mind it."

"Nope!"

"Horizon, what about you?"

"No... really... I'm fine."

"Oh don't be ridiculous, Horizon. Come, have a seat and maybe we can chat a little!"

"Over those two ridiculous ponies," Rarity whispers to me while motioning to Pinkie and Rainbow.

I help Rarity pour the tea as Applejack resumes.

"So...? Horizon...?"

I silently tip the kettle.

"Horizon...... Come out and play........"

A give in as I start on my tea.

"My... thoughts... Don't act like yours."

"Meaning what?" Rarity inquires.

"I... When I was a foal... I had my mind laid out for me."

"Go on...."

"I gained the foundations of my thoughts... A basis on how I should react. And... I got them through learning how to defy them. So... I..."

"DAW...! Not this again!" Rainbow Dash bursts.

"Rainbow Dash..." Fluttershy wants to say something.

"Wait..."

"Just say it! That's all I got from Fluttershy and I can't handle it tell me already come on I wanna know-"

"Rainbow! Please, don't."

"DAWWWWWWWWWWWWW....- huuuuuughhhhhh...."

"Wait! Foundations of thoughts?"

I begin differently for Applejack.

"I... It means that reality... hit me early, And... I figured things out. I-... I...-!"

"Don' worry, don't hurt yerself trying to say something."

Applejack looks away slowly, as if she just thought of something.

"HORIZON! I just thought of something that would make me really sad and it means that if you I wouldn't blame-"

Pinkie has shouted this out, but seems to be whispering to Rainbow Dash, although it's loud enough that we can all hear it.

"Dashie do you think something happened wit his family-???"

~6 years ago~

My family is slowly trotting, sending me to an extra school for Saturdays. Everyone besides me has been arguing since before we left, this is how it began:

"Mom, my friend says I can redeem credits and stuff from the Emath academy." That was my sister. Emath was a school she went to.

"Are you sure? The last time we went, they had no ceremony, even though they said." My mom, though she's been really angry at Emath for being annoying and complicated.

"I know, but she got a call telling her about the ceremony."

"What? But why haven't we gotten a call?" You see, Emath gave you some sort of reward if you got to the best school you could have with it's training. My sister did exactly that.

"I don't know, Emath is stupid!"

And then we left home on the road to bring me to my school. My sister briefed dad on the situation.

"What? A ceremony? Why weren't we called about it?"

"Exactly! I was telling mom!"

"Emath is so annoying!"

"Well we should go then."

"What? Last time we checked, there was none."

"I know, but your friend was called on it."

It was silent for a few moments, then my dad announced we were going to the ceremony.

"You could have called them." Dad talks again.

"What do you mean, called them?"

"I'm saying it's your fault we didn't know about it."

"What?! My fault?"

"Of course."

"How!?"

"Well, if you called, they would've told you!"

"What? They don't care! Besides, Emath doesn't even remember me! I'm just another drone to them."

"Listen, if you called them, they would have-"

"No, they wouldn't have done anything!"

"Listen, you are the-"

"I'M NOT ANYTHING! I-"

"It's about the responsibility! You have to-"

"Responsibility? That has noth-"

"You mus learn how to resolve the- Listen! You-"

"I- It's not my fault that-"

"No, li-"

"No way it wasn't my problem-"

"No, No, listen! You must listen to me. I'm your father, aren't I?"

"Why can't you listen to me? It's not my fault!"

My sister's crying by now.

"Yes, It's your fault. You have to make sure. Everything has to be perfect, and if not, then not."

"What does that even mean?"

"IT MEANS that you have to resolve the problem. Solve it. It's your responsibility."

My sister does nothing but stick her tongue out at him.

We reach my sister's ceremony, drop her off, stay for a little, then go home. I can hear them saying how proud they are of my sister.

Hey. Guess who everypony forgot about?

~Present day~

I run quickly out of the room. I can almost feel the eyes on the door, tracing my path. After a few seconds... Fluttershy creaks it open.

"Are... are you alright...?"

All the others follow her in.

"Um... Horizon???"

"Don't bother me. Please."

"Horizon......?"

I run out the house. I don't know what I will do when I get back to my house. Maybe lay down and die. I don't know what brought this on right now and I don't care. So I am running all the way back. I am standing on the sidewalk in front of my house. Then, a drop of water comes down. Hits me on the nose. I see the ground is already spotted with small dark drips. A torrent of water is soon drenching me as I stand outside.

I smile pathetically in the rain and fall over.

I like being in the rain, because then nopony can find out that I'm crying.