Appleloosan

“Wake up.”

Gemeremy simply groaned in response.

“Gem. Wake up,” I said, jabbing a hoof in his side once more.

“Why,” was the only response.

“‘cause Ah have the tickets and we need ta go ta the gate ‘less we miss the flight,” I explained. “So get yer lazy flank off that bench and ta the gate, now.”

“No, I mean why are we doing this,” he rolled off the bench, somehow landing perfectly on his hooves.

“Doin’ what?”

“This,” he waved a hoof around. “The plane, going to New York. Why?”

“‘cause...” I started to say, but faltered mid-sentence. There must be a reason I’m doing this, surely. “‘cause...” Come on, man, think! “‘cause Ah wanna help as best Ah can. And Ah can’t really do much if Ah’m over here in the UK while all the action’s over in ‘Merica, right?”

“That... makes sense,” he said, stretching his wings and shaking off the sleepiness. “Hey, um, Brae?”

“Yes?”

“I... saw something,” he said. “When I was asleep. I saw... well, I talked to... Gem. I mean, the actual character, Gem Song. And... we talked... and... stuff...”

“Okay,” I said, turning around and trotting towards the gate.

“That’s it, you just walk away? Aren’t you interested in talking to Gem? I can-”

“Now, why would Ah wanna talk ta mahself?” I asked. “The character Gem Song was based ‘most entirely on me. There’s no real reason fer me ta wanna talk ta him.”

“Oh,” he said, then started hovering along beside me.

“No, don’t fly,” I sighed. “You’re tired, and Ah don’t want ya fallin’ ‘sleep ‘fore we even get ta the gate.”

He landed back on the ground and started walking again.

“Anyway, didn’t ya hurt yer wings just a couple’a days ago?” I asked.

“I got better.”

“Alrighty then,” I nodded.

“Brae?”

“Yes?” I sighed. What does he want this time?

“Gem told me... while I was asleep...” he said, shuffling along awkwardly. “He used to live in Dodge City before he moved to the Harbor. And there was this one colt, who used to visit Dodge. And...”

“Lemme guess,” I smiled. “Appleloosan, yellow coat, brown mane, apple cutie mark?”

“H-how-”

“Just thought that up now,” I laughed. “It’s mah character. Ta him, all’a his backstory is already written out. But fer me, Ah’m still writin’ it. And the future... well, that’s up ta you now. Just try not to die, Ah’d like to still have somepony ta write about once this is all over. Anyway, you were saying?”

“I... don’t really need to say anything now...”

“Alright. It’s mah character, anyway. Ah already know what happened to him, and what Ah had planned fer him before... this.”

Silence fell, the only sound around us being the chatter of all the people waiting in the gate as we stepped in and sat down.

“So...” I said in an attempt to break the silence around us. “Guess that ‘splains what happened last night...”

And still, the silence persisted.

I pulled out my phone. “Ah wonder if they have free wi-fi here...” I muttered, poking at my phone. “Aha! They do!”

“Um, dude...” Gem poked at my side.

“Shush, Ah’m checkin’ Equestria Daily,” I jabbed him back, scrolling through the posts.

“Stop looking at your phone and watch the news report!” Gem turned my head toward a wall-mounted TV. It showed the BBC News channel, as it always did. It was too far away for me to see clearly, but what I could make out chilled me to the bone.

A white alicorn, and a dark blue one. The caption ‘MISSING: LAUREN FAUST AND TARA STRONG’.

I was speechless. I frantically scrolled through the posts my phone, and that was when I saw it. They had disappeared last night. While we were busy.

...cuddling.

I shuddered. Damnit, brain, now is not the time!

“So... well...” Gem stuttered. “Basically... we’re fucked.”

“W-we still have the others, right? Ah mean, Ah heard Cadence exists somewhere out there, we have another alicorn. And the Mane 6, with their elements... We’ll be fine, everythin’ll be fine...”

I felt a finger poking at my side. Not a hoof. A finger.

“U-um, hello?” A quiet voice beside me said.

I turned to face the voice. “Yes?” I asked.

“I-I just wanted to say... um... Braeburn...”

Wow, this guy is Fluttershy in human form. “Ah’m sorry, could ya speak up?”

He blushed in response, shrinking back slightly.

“Okay... um... Ah’ll just-”

“U-um...” he mumbled. Then ran away.

I looked at him as he awkwardly ran away. “Well, that was interestin’.”

Gem laughed. “Dude, I think you have a stalker!”

I glared at him. He shut up instantly.

“Thank you.”

At that moment, my phone vibrated, sending it flying out of my hooves and landing on the floor. I scrambled to pick it up. Okay, quick check, nothing’s broken, good to go!

I checked to see what it wanted. A message on Facebook. I thought I set that to not vibrate? Oh, well. I tapped on the notification. It was a message from one of my friends.

> hey man where you been?

I looked over the message. Had he not seen... I typed out a reply.

Oh, you know, I died and then I was a pony. Did you not see the video? <

No more than two seconds later, I got a reply.

> that was real?! i thought it was some computer shit XD

I laughed, typing out another reply.

It was 100% real, man. I am bestest apple pone now. <> hahah good luck manHmm? Why would I need good luck? <> well, guys tryin to kill you. and all the guys that are gay for braeAnd is there a problem with that? ;) <

He was quiet for a few minutes, and then replied:

> you want to be killed?Hahah, no, I meant... nvm. I have to go, stuff is happening, bye. <> k bye

I locked the phone screen and slumped back in the chair, turning to look at Gemeremy. He was shifting around uncomfortably, his wings twitching.

“What ‘re ya doin’?” I asked.

“Wings... itching... no idea why...” he groaned

“Did ya... um... preen them?”

“What?”

“Preening,” I explained. “Ya know, gettin’ all the dirt out’a ‘em an’ gettin’ all the feathers aligned?”

“Um... no,” he said.

“Well, do it, ya clearly need it,”I said.

“Um... how?”

“Well, I dunno, try... running yer muzzle through ‘em? That should-” I said as he did just that. “N-not here! Not in public, man! Go... do it in the bathroom or somethin’.”

He nodded, trotting off to the bathroom. Immediately, ‘ShyGuy’ took his place.

“H-hi,” he said.

“Hey there!” I smiled. “So, where’re y’all goin’?”

“N-New York...”

“Really? Us too!” I grinned. “Well, o’course we’re goin’ there, since, y’now, Celestia called everypony in...”

And then Gem returned.

“Everythin’ okay?” I asked. “Did ya get ‘em sorted out?”

He nodded.

I wondered where that knowledge had come from. Did they ever show that in the cartoon? Was that some fanon thing? Or...

“I’m surprised Gem didn’t tell me about that,” he said. “I mean, why wouldn’t he tell me about something as important as preening. For that matter, why would you know anything about it?”

“‘cause... Ah have no idea.”

“Oh, well, who cares?” he smiled. “My wings are all sorted out now, and everything’s fine. So, your stalker still stalking?”

I looked around. ShyGuy had decided to hide away one Gem had returned. I gestured for him to come back, and he shuffled on back to me.

“So,” I said. “Gem, this is... what’s yer name?”

“I’m...” his name was lost in a mumble.

“Right. Gem, this is ShyGuy,” I waved a hoof between them. He seemed okay with the nickname I gave him. “ShyGuy, this is Gem.”

“Nice to meet you!” Gem fluttered over to ShyGuy, extending a hoof toward him. ShyGuy took the hoof and shook it.

“Okay, then. Got introductions sorted,” I smiled, leaning back. “So, guess we’re all goin’ the same place.”

“Really? He’s going to New York too?”

“Ayep.”

“Cool!”

I leaned back as Gem and ShyGuy kept chatting away. Everything was going to be fine...

>> FFW >>

“Come on, come on, mooooooove,” Gem groaned impatiently. The queue was at a standstill, right in front of the doors leading out to the planes. “I’m booooored.”

“Stand still an’ shut up,” I commanded. “We’re already talkin’ ponies. And ye’re flyin’. We don’t need ta attract more attention with ya bein’ a whiny, impatient-”

“Okay, okay,” he sighed, landing back down on the floor. “We’ll just stay here, in the queue. The slow, boring-”

“Does every freakin’ pegasus have some stupid need fer speed?”

“Says the colt who damn near killed me challenging me to a race.”

“Oh, ha, ha.”

The line moved along.

Eventually, things happened. We were on our way out, just needed to hoof the tickets over. The lady at the desk gave us slightly menacing looks, but let us through anyway. And so there we were, walking out towards the plane. Well, in Gem’s case, flying out. Cue exasperated sigh.

We climbed up the steps into the plane, taking seats somewhere in the middle of it. Turns out ShyGuy was taking a completely different flight, so it was just me and Gem.

“So, six hours, cramped up in here,” Gem grumbled. “This is the worst possible thing.”

“Ah can think’a worse things...” I said, looking out the window as the world sped by. The plane tilted upwards, and lifted off. I closed my eyes and properly relaxed for the first time in two days. Everything faded away.

>> FFW >>

Everything faded back in. Dreamless sleep. Of course.

I opened my eyes and turned to face Gem.

Oh. What is going on here.

He was blushing. And his wings were splayed out.

“Sorry... it’s just... you... you look so cute when you’re asleep,” he stammered.

“Mm-hmm,” I nodded slowly.

“A-and-”

“How long was Ah out fer?” I asked.

“U-um... about half an hour...”

“Good. Didn’t miss anythin’ ‘portant, then,” I relaxed back into the seat, fully aware of Gem’s eyes still on me. “Um, d’ya mind not starin’?”

He quickly looked away. And then looked back just a few seconds later. Why do I even bother...

>> FFW >>

My eyes snapped open. I didn’t recall going to sleep in the first place.

Nor did I recall being on a train.

I looked out the window. Sand and dust as far as the eye could see, no life at all, except for a town just off in the distance. It appears that was where this train was headed.

And another thing I must not have noticed last time I checked.

I was human.

I’m human! Is it over? Oh, please, is it over?

Wait...

I waved my hand back and forth in front of my face. A trap? A trick? No noticeable motion blur, nor any pixelization. Not some kind of computer simulation, then. I lifted myself off the seat, feeling the softness of the seat, the vibration of the train. Impressive hallucination, then. Unless...

The train stopped violently, and I was thrown to the floor. I got back up and looked out the window again. A dusty frontier town. No-one around. Absolutely nothing but the town. And tumbleweed. Of course.

I made my way to the exit of the train. I paused just in front of the door. I have been changed back into a human, and am on a train in the middle of nowhere. Should I really be blundering out with no regards to what or who I might find?

Wait, what? There’s no-one out there. It’s just an abandoned town. I opened the door and stepped out, looking around the train platform.

I was right. This place was completely and utterly deserte-

“Hey there! Welcome to Aaaaaapleloosa!”

I whipped around, turning to face the voice.

A cute yellow colt grinned under the brim of his stetson hat, his brown mane flowing behind him as he launched himself towards me.

“Is this yer first time visitin’?” he yelled excitedly. “Oh, Ah just gotta give y’all the tour!”

I said nothing. I couldn’t say anything. I was virtually frozen as this stallion circled around me, ranting on about how wonderful the town was.

“Oh, just wait ‘till y’all see the horse-drawn-horse-drawn carriages! And the Mild West dancin’!”

How is this possible? I... this... but...

“And the Salt Block, our saloo-”

“Would you shut up for a minute I am trying to prevent my brain from shattering into a million pieces right now!”

Braeburn stopped, turning to face me. “Oh, sorry, where’re mah manners!” he laughed, extending a hoof toward me. “Howdy, Ah’m-”

“-Braeburn.”

“How do you-”

“Because you’re famous. Also, I am you.”

“You are- Oh! Of course! It’s you! Ah knew you’d be here soon. Ah was tryin’ ta get through last night, but y’all didn’t answer.”

I sighed. “Okay, then. Now, explain to me what’s going in here.”

“Well, ya know how ya became me?”

“I don’t know how, but I know that I somehow became you, yes.”

“Well...” he grimaced. “It’s not just physical.”

I raised an eyebrow.

“Here, let me demonstrate. Here’s an apple,” he pulled out a red apple from behind him, “and here’s another apple,” a green one this time. “Now, say this is me,” he shook the red apple around, “an’ this is you,” he waved the green one around. “What we’re doing just now, is we’re talking in your head. Like so,” he held the two apples next to each other, almost touching. “But eventually,” he pushed the two apples together, “me and you,” they started to crack, “will merge.”

At that, the apples cracked and split, shattering and merging into one big pile of apple.

I just stared at the once-apples. No, no, that can’t be true!

“Oh, yes, it’s true, and I have some proof right here,” he sighed.

“Wha’ proof?”

“You aren’t noticing my accent any more,” he explained. “You probably didn’t even notice I used ‘y’all’ or ‘ain’t’ there. Whereas your accent...”

“No, no, this isnae happenin’!”

“And your mind is making it a ridiculously overblown Scoltish accent because that’s all my mind knows.”

“Ai’m no’ e’en Sco’ish! Ai’m Italian!”

“And I didn’t know that. Allow me to fix that.”

“Ma che stai dicen... do... O, yu can’ta bee seereeus!”

Braeburn chuckled. “You asked for it!”

“Stoppeet, nau!”

He broke into a full-on laugh, rolling around on the platform.

“Ai saund laik freekeeng Mario, for god’s seike!”

I slumped on the wall of the station, dejected. This stupid stallion was playing mind games on me! In my mind! It’s not fair!

“Okay, okay,” he caught his breath. “You’re back to ‘normal’ now. I managed to set your brain to not pick up on accents at all, so you should be fine from now on.”

“Thanks,” I got up, stepping forward, glaring at him. “That’s just wonderful. If I’m gonna merge brains with some stupid cowpony from Appleloosa, then at least I won’t notice his accent!”

Braeburn stepped back a few feet, a glimmer of fear in his eye.

“I’m sorry,” I sighed. “I’m just scared and confused and-”

“And you think I’m not?” Braeburn interrupted me. “You think everypony else who’s going through exactly the same things as you are right now isn’t scared? All those ponies who found themselves in a world not meant for them! How do you think they feel?”

I just sat on the platform floor, my back against the station wall.

“Now, get your lazy flank off the floor and go save the universe!”

I blinked. That was sudden. I looked up and saw Braeburn right in front of me, tugging at my shirt. My normal shirt. Not that stupid leather vest.

“Hey, it’s not stupid!” Brae shouted. “Now get up! I’m gonna have to teach you a few things about your new body.”

“Like what?” I got up, following along behind Brae.

“Oh, my dear me,” he waved around dramatically, “it is time for me to pass on the knowledge I have gathered for many years. The secret skill known to only a few ponies in this new world.”

“And that is...?”

He stopped dead, turned around, and looked me in the eye.

“Applebucking.”

“Wait, what? How? I’m not even-”

“Yes, you are.”

I paused for a second, then looked down. Or, rather, back.

“...what.”

What met my eyes was not my normal human body. Nor was it Braeburn’s. No, what was there was even stranger. Turquoise coat, wings, green mane and tail...

“Well, this is interesting.”

“Yes, it most certainly is. Don’t worry, it should be temporary. Now, come along, ‘Gem’,” he laughed, running off toward the apple orchard. “I can’t keep doing it for you, you know. I can only stay in control for a few seconds.”

“Stay in control...?”

“Yes, I take over control sometimes,” he explained. “Just to get you out of bad situations. Every time you get a sudden boost in power? That was me. But, since we’re merging, I won’t be able to take over, since we’ll be the same mind. So I need to teach you how to properly control and defend yourself, so that that knowledge isn’t lost or diminished when we merge. Trust me, it makes sense.”

I slowly nodded, and followed him. We eventually arrived at the orchard. That is, a single tree atop a hill. My mind apparently doesn’t have the processing power to render thousands of trees whilst also communicating with a magical talking horse from another universe. Who knew.

“Now,” Braeburn instructed as I neared the apple tree, “raise your back legs toward the tree and tense them up.”

I did so.

“Excellent. Now release.”

Unfortunately, I did not. I didn’t get a chance to. Because, at that point, the dream fell apart.

^ EJECT ^

I blinked the tiredness out of my eyes. A hoof was poking at my side. "Huh, wha..." I murmured, before finally snapping back into full consciousness. "What's wrong?"

"Food cart is coming," Gem said, pointing a hoof down the aisle at the approaching hostesses and their metal box of noms. "You want anything?"

I opened my mouth to speak. Instead, all that came out was a burp. And a feather. "...I think I’m good, thanks."

My eyes slowly slid shut, and I finally fell back into the void commonly known as sleep. Or, I would have, if I hadn't been rudely awoken by the sound of the food cart tipping over and the screaming of an angry hostess.