The sun slowly rose and an eye cracked open, "Fucking Christ on a crutch," Jordan muttered loudly while rubbing his eyes. Jordan didn't mind mornings, he just hated it when the sun would always hit him in the eye. After a minute of rubbing, he looked around his camp, 'The fuck?' Spread around his camp were the wooden Wolves from last night. He was sure they would of left in the night yet here they were, napping like they owned the place.

After shaking his head and chuckling quietly he stood up and began to stretch. He twisted his body left and right, causing audible pops to emit from his back.

Five pairs of ears perked at this sound and the Wolves slowly arose from their sleep. They gave Jordan a calm stare, well calm to them and awkward to Jordan. He waved a hand and mumbled, "Whatever, I'll deal with it later."

He looked at the fire from last night and saw that it was down to a small fire. Since he didn't want to burn down the forest he was currently walking through he kicked some dirt over it, watching it smolder. When he did this he heard Smoky The Bear say "Only you can prevent wildfires."

"Ha for now maybe," he said aloud, oblivious to the watching wolves. He noticed that there were still some Blueberries left. He grabbed a small handful and popped them in his mouth, chewing thoughtfully. He looked up at the sky and saw a few clouds lazily drifting by. He grabbed his pack that he'd been using for a pillow and slung it over his shoulders.

He gave one last look around the camp and began walking in a random direction, sadly or luckily there wasn't a compass in the bag. Jordan liked gambling anyways, he preferred throwing his chance with Lady Luck, even if she had a tendency to burn him. After a few minutes of walking he heard something following him. He paused and began to look around him. His eyes settled on five pairs of ears, wooden ears.

He didn't know whether to laugh or face palm, so he did both. Noting that the ears perked and twitched at his laughter he decided to call them. "Hey, Ninjas, your not being one with your surroundings."

The Wolves slowly got up and trotted to him, looking up at him. Jordan crossed his arms, "Since you all seem pretty smart, why are you following me?" They looked at one another and shrugged visibly. He sighed, this was getting him nowhere and he had a forest to explore. "Okay, lets try that again, do you want to follow me?"

They nodded and Jordan began to rub his chin thoughtfully, "Well I guess theres no harm in it."

The Wolves visibly brightened and began to follow Jordan at a closer distance, but were still behind him slightly. Jordan was oblivious to this and continued walking East or what he assumed was East. He wasn't to good with directions but he didn't let it faze him. He and the Wolves soon passed a small group of weird looking bugs that looked like the fairies from The Legend Of Zelda. The Wolves became slightly wary around these bugs so Jordan ignored them.

He passed the regular wildlife and saw a spider as big as a cat. To this he cursed this worlds God for letting spiders getting this big. Jordan was tempted to light the bastard on fire but decided it wasn't worth it..yet. After an hour of walking the Wolves suddenly stopped, and began sniffing the air. Curious about this, Jordan walked a little further and his jaws dropped, in front of him about 50 feet away was a pyramid.

This pyramid looked like the ones that the Aztecs had back home and looked just as impressive. He began to walk forward and the Wolves followed slowly, eyeing the surroundings cautiously. Where the steps started there was a door, a very large door in fact. He pushed with all his might and was barely able to open them. When the doors fully opened, a dozen bats flew out and a low moan emitted from the darkness. Yup, this was official, this place was probably riddled with death traps.

"Fuck yes please," he said before entering the dark entrance, not noticing the Wolves whining and staying behind.

The weird but normal part of the entrance was the door closing by itself. 'Luckily' a few torches just so happened to light almost immediately. "Yup, I'm either going to die really painfully or come out with some treasure."

Jordan grabbed a torch and and began to walk deeper into the tunnel. He stopped in front of a wall adorned with writing. "If you want to pass answer a simple question, What comes once in a minute, comes twice in a moment, and never in a second?" he said aloud.

He rubbed the back of his neck and thought. With a small chuckle and slight groan he said "The letter M."

He wasn't expecting to be answered in anyway, he just had a habit to say things aloud that were on his mind. But apparently old pyramids are voice activated because the wall began to slide open, reveling a narrow hallway riddled with webs. "Fuck that," Jordan practically sang and began to swing the torch like a sword, burning all the webs and spiders.

He didn't hate spiders, he just knew the little shits always had a surprise waiting. After passing a few more boring riddle tests he came across a wide room with odd shaped panels on the ground. "The make it or break it part, huh?"

He tossed a piece of rubble onto a random panel and watched a dozen darts shoot from the wall, probably coated with hundred year old poison. "Fuck...well as some idiots back home would say, YOLO"

He began running towards an opening on the other side, throwing his torch down. The first two steps were okay till the third one, 'Shit!' He put an extra burst of speed behind his running and barely dodged the darts and painful death. After running and jumping like a crazed maniac playing hopscotch on cocaine he began to near the end of the room. Sadly this is the part where he conveniently slipped.

He felt the dart impact his ass as he made a wild dive for the safe zone, so to speak. He landed on his belly and looked behind him, the room was riddled with darts and one long dart was sticking out his ass cheek, 'And I'm dead...wait..'

His brows furrowed as he noticed one thing, he didn't feel a sharp pain. He carefully pulled the deadly dart away and put it aside. He reached into his back pocket and cried out suddenly, "MY PORN!!!!"

In the upper right hand corner of his phone was a hole and small crack. His phone had literally saved his ass. He pressed the home button, causing the screen to appear, 'Thank you Lady Luck.' His phone was still intact and seemed to work fine.

After making sure there weren't any other darts in him, he proceeded to the next room. In the center of the room stood a mantle with an obsidian like gem. "Mine," was all Jordan said. As he took his first step he heard a loud hiss coming from above. He looked up and immediately said, "Fuck you too Lady Luck, I thought we were cool."

A spider began to slowly come down from the ceiling but this wasn't just any spider, it was fucking Spiderzilla. The bastard looked like it was on steroids and meth. It was the size of a god damn pool table and it was fricking ugly. Jordan looked for a weapon. But to no avail, "Fuck that, Everything is a weapon."

He saw a dozen or more torches placed around the room and grabbed one. He pulled out his knife and held the torch in the other. He yelled loudly, "I'm about to dual wield on your fat ass!" Apparently the spider did NOT like this and hissed louder, leaping down and landing on the other side of the room. Jordan winced and said, "I was just kidding, I'm sure we could work this out."

Spiderzilla just hissed loudly, "Don't believe me, well neither do I"

Author's Note

Tell me what ya think