Resident Crusader

Leon Kennedy opened the door and forced himself to exit the car, waving goodbye to the two guards his agency sent out to drive him to the village. The President had entrusted him personally to find his daughter, and he was secretly relieved to do so. The endless amounts of paperwork and somewhat quiet lifestyle got dull after awhile. Give him a gun and a few first aid sprays and he was all set.

His contact, he was told, was named Ingrid Hunnigan. She sounded like one of those strictly professional, mid-fifty types who weren’t at all fun to be around. Once he arrived at the entrance, he would have to walk the rest of the way. Sometimes he wished he had a partner, the way he did back in Racoon City. That way, he could have some company in case he was attacked again. Misery always loved company.

The excitement of fighting for one’s very life was a guilty pleasure that Leon would take to the grave. He hated when he had to fight with death, but when he was winning, it was pure adrenaline. He took a few martial arts classes and even managed to build something of a reputation.

“Just up ahead is the village. We will stay and watch the car, don’t want to get any parking tickets,” one of the guards said.

Wow, these guys must be poorly paid if they don’t want to assist me. Not that I will need it, but its the thought that counts.

“Right, parking tickets. See how that works out for you.”

He slammed the door and heard the voice of one of them call, “Good luck!”

Too little, too late, guys.

It was a cloudy, slightly dreary day. Hef felt a slight chill in the air, promising something dark and foreboding. He heard a cheerful melody play and realized that his phone was ringing.

He sighed, taking his phone out of his pocket. A woman’s tone greeted him and he was surprised by how young she sounded.

“Hey, Leon, is it? My name is Ingrid Hunnigan. I will be your support for this mission.”

She sounded quite easy-going, and friendly with an air of professionalism about her. She must have been new or recently hired. He would have remembered someone like her otherwise.

As he looked at his phone, a picture of a woman appeared on the screen. She had an air of business about her and looked really young. He forgot that the phone’s video conferencing had a slight delay in activation.

“Somehow, I thought you would be a little older. So, the target’s name is Ashley Graham, right?”

The picture of Hunnigan nodded and smiled, pleased that Leon didn’t have to ask too many questions.  “Correct. She is the daughter of the President, so try to behave yourself.”

He scoffed, but otherwise held his tongue. He figured that she assumed he didn’t know anything. She could have been telling a joke, but he seriously doubted that.

“Well, as fun as this conversation is, I have to get going. I will tell you more when I learn of it.” He would have said more, but a chilling trio of screams cut through the air. They sounded like younger girls.

“What the hell was that, Leon?! You couldn’t have found Ashley already! We would have done it ourselves if it was that easy.”

“I heard some screaming from what looks like a house in the distance. Who would live in the middle of nowhere like this?”

“Well, keep me posted on what happens, and try not to die!”

Leon saluted and disconnected his phone.

He knew that Ashley was kidnapped by an unknown organization. The scary thing was, it happened seemingly at random. It would have been one thing to have happened in the States. But no, it happened all the way out here in Spain.

He took out his handgun and held it in the designated “ready” position his superiors trained him to use. He couldn’t count how many times,this saved him during the Raccoon City Incident, though back then, he wasn’t as calm, cool and collected as he was now.

The screams grew more and more desperate and he picked up his pace. One thing he never forgot about Raccoon City was the short-lived life of any survivors he did happen to find. They usually died as they ran away from him. Other times, he came upon a helpless victim. If there was a slight chance he could save these three and keep them alive, he could call it a good day.

Soon, the entrance rushed up to meet him. He heroically entered the building, wishing someone could have witnessed how awesome he looked then. He turned a corner, and his arm drooped a little in shock at what greeted him. Ponies! Three terrified, technicolor ponies were shivering as they dodged a madman with an ax. The guy was muttering something in Spanish and seemed determined to cut them up.

As weird as all this was for the seasoned former cop, he knew they couldn’t defend themselves on their own.

“Freeze! I have you surrounded!”

The three ponies looked at him in shock for a moment, their eyes on his gun. They face-hooved at the same time, looking embarrassed.

“Yeah, I know that sucked, but I needed to to say something heroic. It was the only thing I could think of at the time.”

The man, whoever he was, paused when Leon entered the room. He glared at the new arrival who gave a sheepish grin. “I don’t suppose you have seen this girl, have you?” He held up a picture of Ashley, hoping that this man had seen her.

No dice there! The man brandished his ax and started to walk menacingly toward Leon. He was faster than the average zombie and seemed to posses enough brain cells to carry and brandish a weapon. But, who was he to judge? Maybe zombies would evolve to be able to carry and use weapons one of these days. God forbid that should ever happen!

“Freeze! I won’t tell you again! If you move a step closer, I will have to force you to go away!”

Did anyone ever listen to him? The man continued to hold out his ax and persevered despite having a deadly weapon trained on him. Or, at least, as deadly as you can get with a measly handgun that was.

He remained calm anyway. Maybe he just didn’t want trespassers. He did trespass after all. While a very noble cause, it was sadly untrue, as the crazed man took a swing at Leon. He had to dodge at the last minute, not expecting to be attacked that close.

He had to move to get in position, and aim.

BANG!

A small, fair-sized hole appeared in the man’s head. To Leon’s shock, the man just flinched away from him, holding his head, crimson liquid gushing out of his skull. He noticed some yellow mixed in with the red, but he didn’t pay much attention to it.

“Just what the heck are you?! Nobody but Superman can survive a bullet to the face! You will be letting down a lot of nerds everywhere if this was the case.”

When the crazy recovered enough, he took a tighter grip on his ax.

“Why is it never easy? Why can’t you die the first time? Is it so much to ask for you to just die already?!”

With these heroic words, Leon roundhouse-kicked the man, inadvertently causing his head to explode and sending brains everywhere. Fluids dripped down from the ceiling, and the walls were painted with red and yellow.

“We could have done this the easy way, but you insisted upon being annoying!”

He then remembered why he was there and stared at the ponies. For what seemed like five minutes, both parties stared at one another. Finally, it was the ponies that spoke first.

“Thanks mister, that guy jus’ started ta attack us. Ah know we popped inta his house, but we were goin’ ta leave anyway. He didn’t have ta attack us like that.”

A bow-wearing filly (she looked quite young) said this, and Leon did what any rational, sane human being would do upon coming across a talking pony. He freaked out.  “Holy hell! You talked to me, and you are a pony! A living, talking pony that talks!”

“Why is everypony insistent on using redundant words today? We can talk. Why should that be a problem? Everything is capable of speech!” A purple horned filly spoke these words. In all of Leon’s wild childhood fantasies. He never thought he would see a real unicorn. He liked fantasy as much as the next guy, but to come face-to-face with your fantasies was a bit much.

He noticed that each of them--or at least two of them--were based on mythical creatures from fantasy settings. He recognized the winged pegasus due to the bird-like wings. They seemed to be a bit small for her, and decided to not mention that.

“I challenge you to come across something you didn’t know existed and keep a level head. I just saved your life. The least you can do is act grateful.”

The bow-wearing one continued to stare at him. Then, a smile lit across her face. “It is a fair point. We started off on the wrong hoof here! Ma name is Apple Bloom! Girls, why don’t y’all introduce yourselves?”

So these ponies were capable of intelligent conversation? This was a new one in his books. He truly hoped he wasn’t losing his mind. He needed his sanity to protect the President’s family. He also noticed that each of them--the ones that spoke anyway--had various accents he was familiar with. Apple Bloom had a southern accent, the unicorn had a slightly fancy accent if one strained one’s ears. He had no idea about the pegasus.

“I am Sweetie Belle, and the silent one over there is Scootaloo. We are the Cutie Mark Crusaders.”

Ah, so they each had names. They seemed friendly enough. He had seen weirder things in his life.

He still seemed unsure of what to do, so they hung around in awkward silence for awhile. Scootaloo, eventually grew bored of the silence and decided to speed things along a little. “Aren’t you going to tell us your name?”

The way she took charge like that impressed him.

“My name is Leon Kennedy, and I am on a mission to help the President’s kidnapped daughter. Since I usually don’t see colorful ponies in my daily routine, I can assume you three aren’t from around here.”

“You’re right Mr. Kennedy. We aren’t from around here. We are actually from the land of Equestria! I bet my sister is worried sick about me.” Sweetie Belle replied to his announcement, but he hated the formalities. Civilians, even non-human ones such as these, didn’t deserve to treat him with the respect his position deserved.

In short, he hated formalities. He never heard of Equestria, and assumed it was a different region or something. They had unicorns there, so maybe it was magical like that. “Where exactly is Equestria?” He was not the first to ask this question. He had no idea they existed, so he assumed he was the only one.

The ponies shrugged in unison. They had no idea, so he was alone on that point. Finally, Scootaloo decided to speak up again. “Who is this ‘Ashley’ you are looking for? We are always glad to help! Maybe we will even get a Cutie Mark for it.”

Leon had no earthly idea what a Cutie Mark was, but he decided to just answer the question as best as he could. “Ashley is the daughter of the man who hired me to find her. Seems kind of a weird intro, I know, but he happens to be the President of the United States. That is a country in America, where I happen to be a resident. When his daughter was kidnapped by an unknown organization, he grew frantic with worry. To make a rather dull and pointless story short, he hired me to find her. I had just been hired to watch over his family. I had seen Ashley around a few times, but never really paid much attention to her. I hope that wherever they have her, she is at least doing alright. I had only just arrived here, when I heard you three screaming,  and I think you know how the rest goes.”

They stared at him for awhile, before shrugging.

“Ah don’t know half o’ what ya said. It’s nice o’ ya ta actually go lookin’ fer her. Maybe we can help ya.” Apple Bloom, ever the helpful one, decided to tag along and hoped her friends would stay behind to keep her company. Judging by the initial welcome they had received upon arrival, it was probably a good idea to stick together.

“Hey yeah, we can be Cutie Mark Crusader Damsel Savers!” Scootaloo was the one to offer this suggestion. Sweetie had no idea where she heard the word “damsel,”, but decided to not push the issue.

“Sounds good to me, but it is really up to Mr. Kennedy here!”

To Leon’s horror, they began to stare at him with the widest and most evil puppy-dog eyes in existence. Sweetie Belle twisted the proverbial knife in his chest and looked at him as if he had just kicked her and dumped her in the mud. He felt an unexplained sensation of dread over his soul. Sweetie’s use of his formal name, combined with the cutest expression in the world, was enough to shatter what resistance he had left to call his own.

If he said no, he would be sent to the deepest pit of hell. Damn these confounded ponies! “If you stop those expressions, I will say yes! Just, please, never do it again. I can only take so much in my life.”

They cheered. At that moment, he heard his blasted phone ringing again. He dug his phone out and was pleased to see Hunnigan’s name on his screen. He agreed to the call and saw her slightly concerned face stare back at him.

“Is everything okay? Did you manage to save the civilians?”

“Good to see you too! Yes, I managed to save them. You wouldn’t believe who and what they are though! Mostly what. The “who” doesn’t really matter that much. I also had to put down a hostile local who wouldn’t let us leave peacefully. I didn’t want to, but I would have made very close friends with his lovely ax.”

“Well, I am glad you have made yourself useful in any sense. Don’t keep me in suspense. Who are they? Better yet, just show them the camera built into your phone. It isn’t everyday you see civilians in the middle of nowhere.”

Despite the clear order, Leon still hesitated a little to show Hunnigan he saved a trio of talking ponies. He was obviously going crazy and didn’t want to drag her down with him. If he was going to go down, he was going down alone and bitter.

“Mr. Kennedy saved us from a crazy monster thing. It tried to kill us, but he charged in and kicked the shit out of it.” Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle both gasped, and Leon’s brain shut down upon hearing Scootaloo curse like that.

Hunnigan had a distant look on her face, and she seemed to be struggling to speak.

“Leon, what are the names of those you saved? I have a very eerie feeling I know them. I heard that voice before.”

Giving Hunnigan a strange look and looking at his companions for help in what to do, he complied. “Their names are Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. I managed to save them from the hostile I had to neutralize.”

Hunnigan’s attitude changed completely in that moment. She went from calm and collected to something similar of a fangirl.

“Oh my gosh, I absolutely love that show! I got into it just the other day at one in the morning! Such a funny, true-to-life show. You are totally serious, aren’t you?! I heard their voices and, despite this being clearly unreal, is actually happening! Why are you so lucky??”

Silence greeted her rant. Leon and the Crusaders stared at Hunnigan. Well, Leon stared at Hunnigan, the Crusaders stared at the phone. Finally, Leon dared to break the silence.

“Hunnigan, what the hell are you talking about?”

“You mean you don’t know? Everyone in the department keeps talking about it! Where have you been all this time--under a rock?!”

“Lady, what the hell are you talking about?!” Never in her life had Scootaloo uttered such language. This was traumatizing her friends a little.

Hunnigan sighed dejectedly. “Leon, get out of your current location and head towards the village. Take whatever measures necessary to save the subject. Protect the Crusaders at all costs!”

Hunnigan disconnected, leaving Leon alone and totally confused. Something chilled him just then. How did Hunnigan know about the Crusaders? He was pretty sure that his phone wasn’t bugged.

“We should search this place, maybe we can find some loose ammo or something.” He wouldn’t tell the Crusaders about Hunnigan’s supposed knowledge of them. He realized that they still didn’t move and were staring at him. Was he supposed to have done something?

“What exactly is ammo, and what is that thing you have in your hand?” Sweetie had an expression of utmost innocence.

It was the dreaded question that all officers at one point had to go through at least once in their careers. He hated it with every ounce of his being: explaining to children what he had to do for a living.

“You are a little young for something like that. I wouldn’t want your sisters to know that I explained something so dangerous.” As predicted, they didn’t like that answer. Unlike normal children, they didn’t let it go.

“We know it is something dangerous since Uncle Creepy is no longer with us. He isn’t moving, and his insides are now outside.” Leon didn’t like Scootaloo’s happy expression as she replied to his rejections.

He felt horrible. They knew he was dead and wouldn’t be bothering anyone anytime soon.  “First, we should split up and search this house for any bullets. It will make life a little easier, should we chance upon any more of those things. There should also be some money around here as well. We will deal with weapon handouts at a later time.”

The entire time searching was spent in silence. He didn’t know what else to talk about, and he was still trying to recover from nearly having an ax to the face. He hoped that wherever Ashley was, she was doing alright.