Resident Crusader

Luck must have been on the Crusaders’ side. They managed to find a lot of money, fifty bullets for his handgun, and, for some reason, a lottery ticket. What the hell was this guy doing with a lottery ticket? Idly, Leon wondered if it was the winning one. He looted through the dead crazy’s house like a pair of rabid raccoons searching for food.

Apple Bloom found a rocket launcher under the guy’s shitty bed upstairs behind a secret compartment in the walls. She eyed it like Pinkie Pie would with the last candy bar. Before this moment could escalate to troublesome proportions, Leon attached it to his back and told her that such things were dangerous. He neglected to mention that he would be the one to use it. If someone was going to kill themselves doing stupid things, it would be him.

Finally, the house turned up fruitless in its secrets, and they were finally ready to continue the search for Ashley. The grand total, after making a few calculations, converting the local and assumed currency, was five thousand PTAS. He doubted he would have found as much on his own. Just before reaching the door, a chilling sound echoed throughout the area.

Leon recognized the sound of an engine, and it started immediately. He ran to the window and searched for where it originated from. He saw a dilapidated truck speed back toward the way he came. With a sudden spike of horror, he realized that his ride to this location was parked toward the bridge.

He ran over to the door, ignoring the Crusader’s questions. He threw open the door and felt his blood chill. The truck crashed into the parked police car and, using the momentum, forced both the victims and their own car over the cliff.

He wanted to go over their to see if there were any other survivors, but several people quickly surrounded them. He realized it was a trap--the truck was used to lure them out from the only shelter. He really didn’t want anything bad to happen to his new charges.

He didn’t have long to wait. One guy charged the ponies. It didn’t look like he was surprised to see talking ponies, and that worried him. He aimed his pitiful handgun at the offending target, shouting,“Get away from her, you bitch!”

The target stared at Leon for a moment, and attacked anyway.

He dodged a grab and aimed a kick at the poor soul’s stomach, sending him flying. More crazies popped up, seemingly from nowhere. They were quickly surrounded, and Leon cursed his stupidity. He barely got a chance to even do anything, and now he was surrounded by a bunch of freaks.

He stared around his immediate surroundings, trying to spot something that might aid him in this unfair fight. He looked at the Crusaders, hoping that they had any suggestions or helpful input. He spotted Apple Bloom giving him the stare meant for idiots. She was staring at something behind his back.

If he had the time to facepalm, he would have. He reached around and grabbed the launcher from behind his back. He fumbled a bit with the weapon.. Would they ever get a break from being attacked, or would they be fighting like this constantly?

“You might want to get behind me. I am about to launch a dangerous weapon at them, and it would really dampen my day if you got caught in the crossfire.”

Instantly, he felt the Crusaders grab onto his back leg. He found the gesture strangely endearing, but didn’t really have the time to focus on it. He aimed at the nearest crazy, making sure he wouldn’t miss.

A whooshing noise greeted his ears and an explosion shook everything violently. He watched in detached awe  as bodies exploded into a mess of red goo. It covered both him and Crusaders. Apple Bloom and Sweetie both shrieked as the gore splattered all over their fur. They spent several moments struggling (mostly in vain) to rid it from their mane and coats.

Scootaloo was strangely calm about being drenched in blood. “Can we do that again, Mr. Kennedy?” Bits of gore dribbled a bit down her muzzle. She wiped it idly away and continued to beg.

Why was she not freaking out, like the rest of her friends? Well, mostly the unicorn was freaking out. Scootaloo didn’t bother to clean her coat, other than scrubbing off anything that covered her eyes.

“There don’t appear to be any other enemies around, and even if there were, I can’t allow you to witness something like that again.”

She sighed rather dejectedly. He really didn’t like the enthusiasm she had.

“If I had magic, I probably could have cleaned myself off a little quicker. That was really scary, and I hope that is the last we see of any of them. This stuff sure beats tree sap!” Sweetie didn’t sound very thrilled about the situation.

“Come on, we might as well continue on our journey. There is nothing we can do for those poor souls. Maybe we can find Ashley in the village somewhere.”

Scootaloo was first in line after Leon. She danced and bounced like a caffeinated Pinkie Pie. Second in line was Apple Bloom, who kept quiet. Sweetie brought up the rear. She whimpered occasionally, limited to nods if asked a quiet question from Apple Bloom.

“Mom would have thought you looked so cool aiming that thing at the imposing army! The way they learned the hard way not to mess with you is so awesome.” Scootaloo then grew sad for the first time since the explosion. “I wish Mom was here!”

She stopped her bouncing and seemed to droop. The transition from happy to sad was downright alarming, and Leon didn’t know what to do. Luckily, he didn’t have to make a decision, because Apple Bloom reacted quickly.

“Hey, sugarcube, it will be alright. We will make it outta this. Dash needs ya ta be strong. Ah promise ya, we will get outta this.”

Scootaloo sniffled and hugged her friend, while Leon and Sweetie looked on.

“Thanks, Apple Bloom. Ever since Dash saved me from that hellhole, I can’t seem to stay away for long.” She would have said more here, but a whimper interrupted her admission.

Sweetie perked up out of her self-imposed depression. “That sounds like an animal in pain.”

She ran ahead, ignoring Leon’s shouts to come back. Not wanting anything bad to happen to her, Leon decided to hurry his charges after the surprisingly-fast unicorn.

They found her not too far from a small cabin. She was hovering over what seemed to be a dog, specifically a Husky. It could have been a wolf, but Leon wasn’t an expert on dogs--other than Cerberus, which didn’t count, anyway.

The dog was whimpering, its hind left leg trapped in what appeared to be a bear trap. Blood from one wound dripped down its leg. Apple Bloom was convulsing slightly from witnessing the blood again, not too long after the explosion.

“Leon, we have ta rescue the poor thing! Ah don’t think Ah can willingly walk away afta seein’ somethin’ like this.” The bow-wearing filly was practically crying after seeing the dog’s distress.

Leon bent over the dog. The dog looked at him strangely, making Leon feel slightly odd. Deciding to relax the dog, he scratched it’s ears a little, hoping it soothed the pain. Body relaxing slightly, the dog eased some of its tension. He examined the trap and noticed that the blades of the trap were lodged a little in the poor thing’s leg.

“This will hurt a little, boy. Just don’t bite me, and I promise I will get you out of here.” He could have sworn the dog seemed to nod in response. He could hear the various whimpers of the Crusaders behind him as he gripped the teeth still lodged tightly in the dog’s leg. The dog shook slightly, but didn’t react otherwise.

He pulled a little on the sides of the trap and heard the teeth slowly exiting the wound. The dog’s shaking grew violent, though he didn’t bite or growl. Finally, the leg slid out, freeing the dog. He whimpered and shook itself off. The animal gave a look of thanks to Leon before running off to places unknown.

“Thanks Leon. Ah couldn’t have handled the guilt o’ passin’ up any creature in distress. What the hay is a bear trap doin’ in a place where any animal could walk in it?”

This wasn’t a question he wanted to answer. If they lived in a world where death wasn’t an ongoing occurrence, then he didn’t want to have to explain it.

He turned to Apple Bloom and decided on a half-truth. “Some people are just careless when it comes to leaving out their tools.”

She stared at him for a few minutes, trying to determine if he was telling her the truth. “That is a trap, isn't it? We sometimes use ‘em ta catch pesky varmints that keep stealing our apples on the farm.”

Shit. She was a farmer who had a crop to protect from certain creatures. He really didn’t want to corrupt them further than he already had with the launcher.

Apple Bloom said, “We may be young, but we aren’t stupid. This isn’t the first time we saw blood. Some o’ our crusades can be a touch painful. Scootaloo ova there seems ta like breakin’ bones doin’ really dangerous things, an’ Ah’m no stranger ta painful things on the farm.”

Both Crusaders seemed to glare at Sweetie Belle.

“The only one who is hurt less is Sweetie Belle, who only gets tree sap dumped on her. So you see, Leon, we aren’t some naive foals that need every little thing toned down.” Scootaloo took over for Apple Bloom.

Now Leon felt a bit odd, getting a talk from a couple of fillies about his own protective censorship. Changing the subject, he remarked, “We should check that cabin and see if anything important is in it. Maybe we can find more money.”

The cabin was really quite small, and didn’t look like it was suitable for dwelling. A few shelves with wooden crates and a table with a typewriter were the only objects that Leon could see. Handgun ammo laid in peaceful wait near the typewriter.

“Leon, what is a typewriter doin’ in the middle o’ nowhere? Seems a funny place ta attempt ta write a novel o’ somethin’,” Apple Bloom asked.

“Apple Bloom, this is a special kind of typewriter. Some scientists believe that if you were to write in typewriters in weird places, you can be reborn at the brink of death.”

“That has ta be the most idiotic explanation that ya coulda given me.”

“It’s true though! If they are in places that they belong, then they are just ordinary, everyday objects. But in places that they don’t belong, such as bathrooms, they can return you to the land of the living.”

“That doesn’t make any sense! A typewriter capable o’ bringin’ the dead ta life is truly idiotic”

“Apple Bloom, you are a magical, talking pony, in a world where unicorns, fairies, and dragons live. You have no excuse to talk!”

“Ah guess that is a fair point. It just seemed a bit too much. Yer world seems ta be less magic-y than ours does.”

Leon wasn’t sure how to react to this point, so he turned his attention to the task at hand. He collected the ammo and broke the crates, finding 300 PTAS, some shotgun ammo, and, to his surprise, another lottery ticket. Where was the person that kept dropping all these lottery tickets?

After pocketing his findings, he returned to the typewriter. He felt Apple Bloom’s eyes on him, but chose not to comment.He wrote his location down and, upon finishing, left the old typewriter.

Apple Bloom narrowed her eyes. “That’s all ya did?! Ah thought ya had ta say a magic word o’ somethin’. How does writin’ the location help?”

“The magic involved in these typewriters needs your location. Upon your death, it will return you to the last place you were. I haven’t needed it, but I have seen it in action when a buddy of mine decided to write in one.”

“What happened ta him?”

“He was crushed by a giant boulder and recovered in the bathroom. Gave some poor woman a heart attack when he just showed up out of nowhere. Sometimes it doesn’t work, and you stay dead. It depends on how destroyed the body is. Even then, it doesn’t always work. It just depends on the situation.”

Apple Bloom chose not to comment after that, trying to recover from the shock of magic typewriters. Finally, Sweetie Belle, who was listening to this conversation, decided to add her two cents. “How did you figure all this out, anyway? You seem to be rather knowledgeable about this subject. How does witnessing your friend’s death give you all this experience?”

Leon stopped dead in his tracks. How did he know about all this? He always knew that you wrote in typewriters. It had been ingrained in his head since his time in Racoon City.

“I have absolutely no idea. It has always been ingrained in my mind to use them. Since I was an officer in Raccoon City, I found them all over the place. They were helpful. Again, I never seemed to need them.”

“What is Raccoon City? Sounds odd for a name.” Sweetie asked, looking interested.

“It is something that I don’t like to talk about. It was my first day on the force, and it was one hell of a first day.” He didn’t say anything else, and didn’t need to worry about any other probing questions. Apple Bloom seemed to leave him alone after that.

It was also where I met her. She also seems to stick in my mind more than it should. She died in my arms, confessing her love to me. She could have left me for dead, but she chose to save me. Even though she was a spy, she saved me. Could be because I saved her from Annette, but that woman works in mysterious ways.

“Hello? Equestria ta Leon! Come back ta us, Leon! We need ya ta lead!” Apple Bloom was kicking his leg.

He realized that he had zoned off thinking of the woman in the red dress. “Sorry, must have zoned out. Did I miss anything important?”

“We were just’ waiting’ for you to come out of la-la land. Got a bit boring, but we weren’t attacked or anything. What were you thinking about, anyway?” Scootaloo sounded bored, eager to move on. When he awakened out of his daydream, she perked up doubly so.

“Just my time in Raccoon City. Have you heard of zombies?”

“Sure! Sometimes, Mom got me watching the classics. I love ‘Nightmare Of The Dead’ the best. The way he just died in the elevator was kind of funny. I thought he was fucked before, but once he died, they just left him alone.”

Scootaloo was cursing again. Where had she learned such language? That movie sounded a lot like Dawn of the Dead, but Leon shrugged, ignoring the similarity. “Zombies are unfortunately real, Scootaloo. Long story short, they are the result of a secret government experiment. There were only a few survivors, but the entire town eventually was infested with the creatures. Movies tend to ease the world into horrible truths by filming the events. That movie is the first of many to capitalize on the zombie fad.”

Scootaloo looked intrigued, while the others didn’t look really happy with that fact. “So, zombies are real?! That is so awesome! I have to tell mom that I won our little debates.” She appeared to deflate again. “I hope I get to see her..”

“I promise you, Scootaloo, I will get you and your friends back home. Claire survived with my help, and I can get you back as well.”

“Who is Claire?”

“Claire Redfield was searching for her brother Chris. To make a long story short, we worked together to escape. She found a young girl named Sherry, who also ended up surviving. I don’t know what happened to Claire after that, but I hope she found Chris.”

“Was that who you were thinkin’ ‘bout, when ya were lost ta the world?” Apple Bloom was really insistent today, meddling in his life experiences.

He had no real problem bringing up Raccoon City, but it wasn’t a happy time for him. “No, I was thinking about another person I met during my time there. She died in my arms, and I am trying to figure her out. She turned out to be a spy trying to get a hold of a sample G virus. Yet, she saved me. I have no idea how to figure her out.”

The Crusaders had a look in their eyes he didn’t like at all. He had seen it before when his buddies decided to give him a hard time. Scootaloo exclaimed, “I think she likes you, Leon! This is so cool. Big Mac and Cheerilee didn’t work out, but maybe we can get a Cutie Mark in this.”

Before Leon could shoot this down, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle glared at Scootaloo, losing the gleam in their eyes. “It would be really hard ta set Leon up wit’ somepony dead, Scoots! Ponies tend ta not go fer that sort o’ thing.”

Apple Blooms words were wise, but Scootaloo was adamant. “Sometimes they do! I saw a weird book in Twilight’s library once. It was called ‘The Fetishes Of The World’. It had something called ‘necro-something’ in it. I had to put it down. It had really weird pictures in it. Most of the ponies in the book had really happy expressions in it.”

Silence followed after Scootaloo’s odd announcement. It was a little odd for Leon, but he chose to ignore it.

They were walking down a path that had nothing exciting to report. Soon, Leon noticed that four trees were at the bottom of a path. Wires hung in between two of them, and, nearby, another bear trap slept in hungry silence. “I think we should stop and think this part through. I don’t like the looks of those wires.”

“How bad can wires be? They don’t appear to do anything.” Scootaloo sounded annoyed at the holdup of wires.

“If you want a similar fate to the ‘launcher’ incident, you will stop walking forward and over to where I am.”

Scootaloo had been walking dangerously close to a wire, and at that last sentence, she stopped dead in her tracks. Sweetie looked close to crying, and Apple Bloom seemed scared.

When he was sure they were nowhere near the trip-wires, he thought of a way to solve this problem. Before he could, Scootaloo grabbed a nearby pebble and threw it at the closest trip-wire, causing it to explode. The explosion set off both bear traps.

After the loud bang and subsequent smoke cleared, Leon glared at her.

“Sorry, you were taking too long to figure it out. I wondered what happened if you threw a pebble at it,” Scootaloo explained nonchalantly.

Sighing, hoping this mission wouldn’t turn out harder than it needed to be, he chose to ignore Scootaloo’s dangerous choice.

A loud shout snapped their heads around, and Leon realized that Scootaloo’s choice also drew attention to him. He gripped his handgun, preparing for battle. Sure enough, another crazy appeared over a small hill and slowly made his way toward them. He had a small ax in his hand, sunlight reflecting off the head of it.

Leon took aim of his handgun and raised it up. He hoped to get a better shot in a little while. Before he could do anything, Scootaloo grinned in almost manic glee. “Yay, more excitement!”

She ran off before Leon or her friends could do anything other than stare. Scootaloo happily ran up to the Crazy like a child to a parent. She looked at him, and he looked at her. This simply continued for a few more seconds. She grinned widely when he chose that moment to swing at her with the ax.

“Oh, I can’t watch!” Sweetie squeaked in alarm.

Leon and Sweetie both looked away. Sweetie, because she didn’t want to see her friend get sliced, and Leon, because he wanted to put it out of his mind. He wasn’t responsible if he didn’t witness anything.

Apple Bloom chose to be with her friend till the very end, even if she was doing something completely stupid. So, she witnessed the incredible thing that happened next.

Scootaloo easily dodged the ax, looking quite bored. She jumped up to the crazy’s head and grabbed the ax right out of his hand with her forehoof when he swung a second time. “You need to learn how to use that better.”

She slashed at his shoulder violently, causing yellowish blood to gush from the wound. In desperation, he attempted to grab her and succeeded.

“You really aren’t all that bright if you forgot that I have your ax!”

She chopped his hands off, and grinned wickedly as he hobbled around a bit. Yellow blood gushed from his wounds. “Your second mistake was fighting me. Try to build up your moves a bit, and then we will talk! Oh wait, I forgot, you won’t get a second chance.”  She beheaded him with her axe, a happy smile on her face.

She lodged the axe in a nearby tree and turned to her friends. Apple Bloom mouth hung open, stunned at her friend’s level of badassery. Sweetie stood frozen, a look of awe on her face. Leon wore an expression somewhat between shock and awe.

Before her friends could speak, she announced in a bored monotone, “Can I have an actual challenge now? He barely fought. All he did was hobble around a bit!”

Silence greeted these words. No one knew what to say. Scootaloo had just fought a guy with an axe, and won with maximum ease. Leon had just seen a little pony kick the shit out of a guy!