Due Process Part 1

“N – no... This can’t be! This can’t be true... PINKIE!”

“I told you this wouldn’t stay a slice of life for long...”

With that, she stopped moving entirely and lay dead in Colgate’s hooves. The tears had resumed – now they were falling so rapidly in such large amounts on the pink pony’s dead visage that if she were alive, she would most likely have drowned.

“PINKIE!”

“AAAAAAH!”

Colgate’s head snapped up with a start. She wasn’t injured, she notes, quickly looking at herself, although she was shaking excessively and cold as ice. Slowly, her logic returned and she realized that that could only have been a dream – there was no way that would happen in Ponyville. She muttered to herself in relief, “Oh thank you, Celestia and Luna, thank you for making that just a weird dream...”

“What weird dream?”

“Nothing, Pink –“

All of Ponyville ceased what they were doing for a moment when Colgate’s shrill scream resounded through the small town.

“W – w – what are you doing in my bedroom? WERE YOU WATCHING ME SLEEP?” Colgate instinctively reached for a blanket and found none.

“This isn’t your room, silly!” giggled Pinkie. And I WAS here even before you fell asleep!”

Colgate was still in shock, but she forced herself to look around. She was on a couch, like the one she had at home, in her bedroom’s right side, but there the similarities ended. The room was more spacious than she knew, there were three doors in it, as opposed to the single door she remembered in her own room. The plain white of her walls were replaced with a burnished light brown oak, and there certainly wasn’t supposed to be a receptionist area in her own quarters.

“W – where am I?” she asked in fear, in case Pinkie had decided to kidnap her, Sure, at most she would possibly just throw a party, but the lack of security that would allow for something like that to happen would forever be a threat against her peace of mind.

“In the town hall, duh!” Pinkie said, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Are you sure you’re okay? You don’t look so good...”

The town hall.  Colgate suddenly recognized the somewhat spacious building when Pinkie pointed it out, but what she was doing there hadn’t returned to her conscious mind yet – too much information in too little time. There was the dream – and then the waking up – and then being somewhere different –

“Colgate?”

“Uh... What?”

“You still look weird. You’re not okay are you? Oh, silly, of course you’re not, you just woke up screaming my name! And you’re all pale  –“

“Pinkie.”

“-and you’re complaining about a weird dream-“

“Pinkie...”

“- and when I was like ‘what weird dream?’ you were all like ‘AAAAH!’ – “

“Pinkie!”

“- and then I gave Gummy a blueberry muffin that Derpy didn’t see – yes, Colgate?“ asked the party pony while alternating blinking and opening her eyes wide very quickly.

All of a sudden the pink pony asked nopony in particular, “how do you know I did that?” Pinkie looked around menacingly, from left to right, before saying, “No, I looked right first! Why are you narrating my day?” She started advancing towards an empty side of the office, shouting to nopony in particular, “I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE!” before running out of the town hall to look for the "voice".

“Well, there goes my day...”

Colgate wracked her brains for a few minutes. She could not for the life of her remember what she was doing there. It was unlikely that Pinkie kidnapped her, because despite the little information she had, Colgate knew that if Pinkie wanted her down and out, she very well would be. So no, not kidnapping, she thought.

Another piece of information resurfaced – only moments before entering the hall, she had conversed (heatedly) with the Doctor. He appeared to have no intention whatsoever of giving up recruiting her for his next delusion, and the argument, if she remembered right, settled nothing. It ended with her simply walking inside the hall and him – well, she didn’t see what the stallion did afterwards, considering her lack of eyes on the back of her head. That answered why she was in such a horrible mood and possibly the nightmare, considering how the doctor tended to make her recall certain less - than - pleasant things, but it didn’t remind her of what the hay exactly she was doing there.

Town hall... The only reason she could think of to go to the town hall was either if she was summoned or had something legal to process. Was she summoned? She’d only been there three days, so no. She wasn’t capable of getting that badly out of control that quickly. Something legal to process... Something clicked in her head.

Colgate advanced to the receptionist area. She had remembered why she was there – to apply for the construction of her dental office. Hoping that the dream she just had wouldn’t affect her application, she stepped forward, still slightly tipsy.

“Oh, hello, my name is –“

“Miss Colgate, yes, wonderful to see you. No need to introduce yourself, Pinkie already did that the first day you were here. Remember?”

“Uh... yes, I guess?” Colgate was confused now. The receptionist was nice so far (having barely started) but it wasn’t in her knowledge that a government worker would be able to talk so casually. The others she’d met were all formal and annoying, to say the least. But then again, this was a new place where she started a new life, so she couldn’t be surprised at everything that happens. She had to stay on her guard and be alert. This casual proceeding could possibly be just a front to pass some unbiased judgement on some unsuspecting behavior.

“Ahem... I’m here to –“

“Get your dental practice's construction underway, if I remember correctly?”

The receptionist was a sharp pony. Way too sharp for Colgate’s comfort.

“Uh... yes, I’m here to speak with –“

“The Mayor, of course, to get the process started –“

“IF YOU COULD JUST LET ME FINISH!”

For the second time that day, Ponyville stopped in its tracks as another shout resounded from the town hall. However, the ponies of the town saw weird thing almost every other day, so a scream like that was barely of any impact to them. Not one put their head up listening for the shout for longer than two seconds.

Even the receptionist didn’t care – either she was plenty used to screaming ponies in front of her face, or she simply had the patience of a master. But that mattered not to Colgate, who had encountered the Doctor just before entering the hall. Colgate, who was told to wait for so long that she had fallen asleep in the atrium. Colgate, who upon falling asleep in the town hall atrium, saw a very graphic dream involving a burning town, a ton of dead pony, and the possibility of it being all her fault. At that exact moment Colgate didn’t care where she was or who she was talking to. Her patience was taxed already, and she snapped for a moment.

“HOW’D YOU EVEN GET A JOB WHEN YOU DON’T LET THE OTHER PONY TALK? YOU KEPT INTERRUPTING YOUR EMPLOYER UNTIL HE GOT SO FED UP THAT HE GAVE YOU A JOB? IS THAT ALL YOU DO?”

However, Colgate could pride herself in her ability to quickly recompose herself. The moment she said those things, she caught her tongue before she could continue, blushed furiously red, and apologized with a very timid voice that would make even Fluttershy sound extremely loud, saying, “¬Sorry about that... Rough day...”

The receptionist simply smiled and said, “It’s perfectly fine. I couldn’t be a decent receptionist now if I couldn’t handle a scream loud enough to wake Ponyville or two, right?” She then pointed to her flank, showing the mark – a cactus? What sense was that supposed to have? Why would a cactus be connected to menial paperwork?

“I don’t really get the mark.”

“I don’t have any more idea than you why it’s a cactus, of all things, but I guess it fits since my talent is patience! Like the cactus, I think, which survives waiting for water in the desert for ages. I could be wrong and doing something that’s not what my mark is telling me, but oh well, it IS my life! Anyway, that’s beside the point. Point is, I’m patient enough, which is why the mayor took me in here,” she proudly proclaimed. However, all of a sudden her voice dropped low into a whisper. “Also, because she needs help with the other guy, and you’re also going to need help with the only other employee here.”

“What help?”

“Well, let’s see... You’re going to need infinite patience for that colt.”

Colgate groaned. She already snapped because of a nightmare and the Doctor. And now this pony who somehow took her outbursts without any issues was telling her that she’d need tons of patience. That spelled a future disaster for Colgate. She was already starting to regret choosing this town, but she decided that this was where she would start her new life and career, and she almost never went back on her word. Sighing, she asked for what to do to apply.

“The process is simple, actually. All you have to do is to take this form right here,” the receptionist said while producing a form out of nowhere. “- and fill it all up, then take it to... Red Tape.” The name she said with utter annoyance, as though her tolerance of him was at its limits. “Pretty simple, but Red Tape always makes legal proceedings much more of a hassle than they should be... Well, good luck! He’s over there,” she said, pointing to the door on the left. Colgate started walking, very slowly, trying to compose herself as much as possible. She put a hoof on the door handles and pushed them open.

The room was grand – to such an extent that it just didn’t fit with the rest of the town hall. A massive ornate desk was situated in the dead center of the room. There were several glass cabinets on the walls, containing fine china that Colgate was sure cost more than all she had while her things were on their way through Pony Packing Services from her old home. One wall was an entire window, which made her wonder how she didn’t notice the flashy thing. On top of this window was a clock reading eleven – thirty in the morning. The lower part of the window was blocked by a chair with its back facing Colgate and completely concealing any presence of any pony sitting on it.

“Hello? Mr. Red Tape?”

The chair swung around in response to Colgate’s voice, revealing a light magenta stallion with a short white mane, black eyes and a rabbit in his hooves, which he was stroking with his hooves. When he smiled upon seeing the guest he had, Colgate could have sworn she saw the skies blacken and flash with lightning.

“Ahh... Yes... Good of you to visit my humble workspace.” The lightning flashed again as the bunny scampered away from his hooves, causing him to exclaim with annoyance, “Bunny! I just borrowed you from Fluttershy, now come back! Come – ah dangit, he ain’t coming back.”

“Mr. Red, can I get muffins now?” came the voice of Derpy, her head poking out from the thundercloud that was outside the window. The wall – eyed mailmare jumped one more time on the cloud, making another flash of lightning for the ominous lighting effect.

“Sure, sure, go on then,” was Red Tape’s distracted answer while looking for the bunny which had already snuck out, making Derpy dart off in glee to the Sugarcube Corner. Red Tape sat and adjusted his position on the chair, which was now much less similar to Lyra’s trademark sitting position. “What are you here for then?” he asked Colgate who was on the other side of the desk.

“Well, I need to have proper permits for me to set up a dental clinic. And according to the receptionist, you have to do something to this form she gave me right here.”

“Have you filled up the form?”

“Not all of –“

“Fill it up and then you bring it back here. Quills are in the cabinet on the left, ink is on the highest shelf in the opposite room.”

“Highest shelf... In the opposite room?”

“Yes. I believe I made myself clear.”

“But... Why is it so far away?”

Red Tape raised an eyebrow and asked, “What were the instructions I gave you?”

“Fill up the form –“

“And how can you fill it up without ink?”

“I can’t.”

“Then you’d best stop asking and go get the ink already. Only fifteen minutes till noon, and I only work until noon.”

That last remark made Colgate jump, and whatever retorts Colgate had in mind were put down under until she could finish this process. She darted to the atrium, and into the next door, where she immediately put her magic to work, trying to reach the ink. It was out of her accurate reach, so instead she used magic to stack boxes to get high enough, where the bottle was within reach. It took her a few tries, but she did get it securely wrapped in her magic’s blue glow. Carefully, she leapt down with such speed and excessive stress – produced force that she blew away the boxes she’d just stacked, and she ran off back into the room. The quill was an easy task to procure, being within physical reach, and she hastily started to scribble on the form, filling up all the spaces –

“This part’s wrong.”

Colgate looked to where the magenta hoof was pointed. The field said Full Name: Colgate. What was wrong? Did this pony somehow also know her past? Maybe he was one of the versions of the Doctor – what if he was his enemy? She started hyperventilating for a few moments until she was able to clear her lungs enough to ask what was wrong with it.

“It says full name.”

“Colgate... is my full name...”

“Really now?”

Oh no, he knows! He knows me as Minuette, not Colgate! Think, Colgate, think, think DAMMIT, THINK! Can’t think... Stall, Colgate, stall!

“Yes it is!”

“Yeah. Sure it is. I think I would recognize a dentist name if I saw one. Colgate? Doesn’t connect to anything tooth or medical care related.”

Oh thank Celestia he’s just one of them biased ponies. Colgate sighed in relief knowing that her secret was safe. She planned to keep it that way , even if the price was that she had to take all of this pony’s ignorance.

“Look, I was named Colgate. I can’t exactly do anything about that now can I? Besides, Colgate isn’t connected to anything, which means I can do whatever I want.” The last three words were punctuated by pauses for emphasis on each word.

“Is that so – look at that! 12 noon, can’t take papers, please come back on Monday to get your papers signed.” Red Tape walked straight to the door after saying so, leaving a Colgate red with anger.

“Monday? MONDAY? TODAY IS TUESDAY!”

“I only work two days a week, miss, and right now you don’t really have much of a choice,” Red Tape replied with a smirk before trotting out.

“WHY. THAT. INSOLENT –“

Ponyville ceased everything for a third time that day.