Steven Jo visits Equestria
Insert witty smart chapter name here.
“Mr.Kaka comin’ fo’ you!” -Steven Jo
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Steven Jo walked through Georgia, admiring the scenery which was so skilfully involved in his plan of ‘Menace to society’, he grinned, revealing his shiny golden teeth. His admiration of the scene splayed before him, was however disrupted when a horribly high pitched noise made its presence more and more obvious as it got louder.
Steven Jo placed his hands on his ears to block out the sound, only to find it blocked out the background noise, making the high pitched noise more cacophonous to his ears.
He closed his eyes, attempting to in the end, stop the noise, and it worked... He opened his eyes and before him was a majestic, tall, well defined, oddly colored, pastel white horse with wings and a horn.
“What, the, FUCK?” Steven Jo yelled in surprise. The tall white alicorn was suited with golden hoof shoes, and tiara with gems on the front. Upon seeing this Steven Jo said with excitement, “Damn Shawty, you got some bling!” the white pastel alicorn looked puzzled.
“I’m quite sorry, I do not understand what you mean by...’bling’” the white pastel alicorn said with a trace of confusion higher than the trace of weed on amy winehouse.
“I said, you got, some bling shawty!” Steven Jo spaced his words so the alicorn could understand him better.
“I’m still not quite sure what you mean by ‘bling’” the alicorn said with less confusion, but it was still evident, like the BAC of a redneck.
Steven Jo took out his gold plated monocle that had diamonds rounding the eyepiece, and said in an exquisite voice that would rival worlds most white reader. “Expensive, ostentatious clothing and jewelery, or the wearing of them”
He took his monocle off and placed it inside his saggy pants that were clothing in the way a hotdog is a weapon for fighting crocodiles.
“Ah, I see.” the alicorn said with an understanding tone.
“But damn you got some heavy bling, who you workin’ fo’?” Steven Jo said, with a face like Jim Carrey on crack.
“I am Princess Celestia, ruler of Equestria” Celestia, the pastel horse alicorn said.
“Damn, you a rapper? Those was some sick rhymes!” Steven Jo said “I’m a rapper too, you know, I do some unsigned rappin’ and you know, I’m pretty good at it.”
“What? No, I am not a rapper.” Princess Celestia stated.
“You coulda fooled me.” Steven Jo said.
“Enough of this rapping and ‘bling’, I have an important request for you, and the fate of Ponyville, and possibly all of Equestria would be in your hooves...” She said, but upon saying, she restated. “Ummm, hands...”
“Oh man that’s so cool, but I mean, I gotta get home, its almost 7:00 PM, I gotta get to bed and have mah momma tuck me in.” Steven Jo said, with secret pride at his late bed time.
“But, you must!” Celestia said, putting her hoof out as a way of saying ‘get back here!’ but Steven Jo turned around and left, slowly walking in a swagger sort of way.
“Oh no you don’t...” Celestia said, shooting a yellow beam of magic at Steven Jo who had started to go under a transformation, his fingers retracted into his hands, forming stubs with hard enamel like ring around it, and his neck stretched out. His feet sank into his shoes, and his ankles tore the shoe apart, revealing hooves. Steven Jo’s mouth elongated into a snout, and his eyes started to get larger, and his ears pointer, and larger.
And before he knew it, he was a pony, a Zebra to be accurate.
“Hey man!, whatchu think you doin’?!” Steven Jo shouted at Celestia.
“What’s good for Equestria” she replied. A large sphere of yellow magic increased its radius to where it consumed both Celestia, and Steven Jo, who was now a pony.
Then the magic dissipated, and left behind, scorch marks on the floor.
Needless to say Steven Jo didn’t get to bed on time.
Steven Jo visits Equestria
“I be goin’ in Shawty, I be goin’ in, yea.” -Steven Jo
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Steven Jo found himself looking at the distant well designed ivory beam supported ceiling of the Canterlot castle.
“Woah, where am I?!” Steven Jo yelled, attempting to process how he had gotten on the cold patterned white and grey squared floor of the Canterlot castle.
“We need your help! Equestria is under attack from the evil Chrysalis, once more!” Celestia says in a panicked, rushed tone
“What, who, where?” Steven Jo questioned. Feeling as though he is part of a very elaborate, and from the looks of how well done the place is, expensive joke.
“Queen Chrysalis is attacking, the queen of changelings, Equestria” Celestia answered all of his questions in a sentence, although they were just a broad coverage.
“Wait, hold up, what?” Steven Jo questioned once more, looking down and taking note of how he was now a zebra, “Why am I a fuckin’ zebra?!” Steven Jo said, flailing his limbs around till he could understand what muscle does what.
After a pathetic attempt at the worm, Steven Jo the zebra was standing on all 4 legs. Steven Jo repeated his question, “Why am I a zebra?”
“You cannot fight with that inferior ‘human’ body” she strains human as if it was foreign to her tongue.
“Inf... Inferior!? Who you callin Inferior, WE GOT THUMBS” Steven Jo screamed at Celestia.
“Well, can you do this?” Celestia then lifted him with her yellow aura of magic, sparkling with the reflection of the sunlight
“First off, I don't know how, secondly, I ain't got no horn, I’m a zebra...”
Celestia looked behind her a little with her head ducked slightly lower than her usual high ride of the high life.
“Oh, yes, I forgot about that part...” Celestia said
“What, pickin’ me, and then makin’ me a zebra, braggin’ ‘bout yo’ magic ‘n stuff, namby pamby pony princess” Steven Jo retorted, in a success to making the princess feel guilted, but offended in his language towards her.
“That is no way to talk to the princess of Equestria” Celestia said
“I don’t give a fuck, I will never die, I’m immortal.” Steven Jo the zebra said
With that Steven Jo was swiftly taken to a dark room with the label “Dungeon” on the outside, carved into a wood title above the door frame. Where upon he was forced to think their way, the pony way.
Or at least, they tried to...
