Precious Presents

Spiral was so happy laying on the floor with me inside of her that I ultimately had to warn that she was making me upset in order to get up. When I did, she was so frantic to correct the situation that I couldn’t help but laugh and forgive her. After all, what kind of pet would she be if she didn’t want her master’s affections? I was the one who’d made her like that, after all. As soon as she was calm again, I laid out the plan for the day.

“Once we get cleaned up, we’re heading out, Spiral. I want to see just what kind of havoc I caused yesterday. Those oversexed ponies you probably saw at the hospital when you brought your medical records? My doing. I want to see how things are. Afterward… well, I’m after six very particular ponies. Two I already had my fun with. Four left, but they could be tricky. You get to help.”

Spiral had been sitting on her haunches, listening with rapt attention. It occurred to me that I hadn’t told her anything about just what I was doing or why, but I figured I’d better not—I only got to control her for one day. The less she knew, the better, as long as she knew enough to be of use. When I told her she got to help, Spiral’s eyes lit up, and she clapped her hooves, elated.

“Thank you, Master! I promise I’ll do my very best!” She had remained seated, but was too excited to be still. She actually wiggled in place adorably.

I frowned slightly, and she got still, afraid she’d done something wrong. “I never did tell you my name, did I?”

Spiral shook her head seriously. “No Master, but I guess I can’t call you that in town. Will you tell me?”

I nodded, amazed out how deferential this mare could be. “In town, call me Blank Sheet. You’re really going to like this next part: while we’re out, you’re going to pretend to be my special somepony. It’ll expl—”

I quit talking and waited. There was no point continuing while Spiral was jumping in the air cheering. When she calmed down again, I continued. I suppose that like any other kind of pet, pet mares require a little patience. “…it’ll explain having you at my side so much.” Spiral must’ve realized her exuberance had a time and place, as she restricted herself to excited nods and wiggling this time.

“Is there another bathroom in here? We need to clean up. Separately. I want to get moving.”

Though she looked disappointed, Spiral nodded and led me through the house to a second bathroom. I entered and shut her out, speaking through the door. “When the pegasi leave, use the bathroom they were using. It’ll be faster that way. Oh, and Spiral?”

“Yes, Master?”

I smiled to myself. “Good job, again. Holly was a great pick.”

“Thank you! Thank you, Master! I’m glad you liked her!”

Shaking my head in amusement at Spiral’s eternal enthusiasm, I stepped into the shower and cleaned up properly for the first time since my arrival. Tongue baths, amazing though they are, do not count as “proper.” When I finished, toweled off, and stepped from the bathroom, a surprise was waiting for me on the other side of the door—Discord.

You’d think having had him appear from nowhere twice now, I would be better prepared for such surprises. Nope. I screamed like a filly, and before Discord could stop laughing, Spiral came tearing down the stairs, soaking wet. The silly mare actually planted herself between Discord and me, head lowered, ready to fight! For a moment, I thought at least one of us was going to die. Discord, however, loved it.

“Would you look at that! I mean, when you say pet, you mean it, don’t you? She’s like a pitbull that doesn’t go on the carpet! She doesn’t go on the carpet, does she? No? Wonderful. There’s chaos and then there’s nasty, you know?”

Spiral never once took her eyes off the hovering draconequus. She actually bared her teeth! Teeth! We’re ponies; we don’t even have sharp teeth! Realizing that she wasn’t going to get herself killed, I relaxed enough to facehoof.

Discord finally quit snickering and got down to business. “You’ve been doing a surprisingly good job, you know. I expected you’d be caught by now, rotting away in jail somewhere. But no! Here you are, in a house you may as well own, with a lovely pet.”

Discord tried to pat Spiral. She swatted his claw away with a hoof, causing Discord to laugh. “Look at that! She thinks she’s people! Anyway, you not only caused an orgy right in the middle of town—good job on that one by the way; even I can’t figure out how that pink thing works, and somehow you got her to get everypony in the mood—but also spiked the bakery’s confections, for massive erections, and made victims of injuries victims of lust! The whole hospital’s going to be a maternity ward at this rate! It’s all sex, sex, sex with you, but that’s okay—and do you know why? Chaos! New relationships, old relationships destroyed, new friends, new enemies, and best of all, there are going to be foals galore!”

Discord’s tone changed, mimicking a fawning would-be mother. “I just love babies! And do you know why? They make a mess of everything! You’ve caused years worth of chaos in just one day!”

Suddenly, he was eye to eye, right next to me. Spiral jumped, bounced right off thin air, and fell to the ground, eyes rolling in her dazed head. Discord, meanwhile, wiped a tear from one eye. “I’m proud, you know! So proud! For such lovely work, I’m giving you three presents this time! Three!” Another change of tone—this time sing-song and chiding. “But, I’m also raising the bar! Great work breeds great expectations, you know!”

I shuddered slightly at what was left unsaid. Once again, I was reminded that I did not want to let Discord down, under any condition. My eyes wandered to Spiral, still sitting stunned. I hoped she was alright.

“Now then, your presents.” Discord vanished, and appeared next to a stage with three curtains, connected to ropes nd pulleys. He did love his showmanship.

“Present number one!” Discord yanked the rope, and the curtain fell to the ground in front of a pedestal on which sat… nothing. More accurately, I guess, nothingness. Hovering over the pedestal was a wavering, inky, formless spot. “Starting now, you can blend into the shadows! And I don’t just mean hide in them—I mean when you stand in shadow, that’s all you seem to be! Maybe somepony could spot your outline, if they really tried… but I doubt it! Did I say “starting now” just then? I meant now, not then; you don’t have the power yet. So, now. Wait, now. Oh forget it, here!”

Discord swatted the wad of shadow in my direction, and it struck me full in the face. For just a moment, I was terrified—the whole world had gone black! That passed as quickly as it had come, however, as the shadow flowed over me, coating my entire body. I looked down at my fur. Unless I was mistaken, it was a shade darker than it had been. I had no more time than that. Discord was moving on.

“Present number two!” Yanking the cord again caused the curtain to fall, this time there really was nothing on the pedestal. Discord frowned. “That’s not right. Present two was some spending money! There was going to be a pair of saddlebags there, full of bits! Now where did it… oh, whatever, I’ll send it to you when I find it.” Internally, I pondered the dangers of serving an entity as disorganized as a god of chaos.

Discord’s frown vanished entirely, and he stepped to the third pedestal. “Finally, present number three. You are going to love this one!” He yanked the last rope, and there, sitting on the pedestal was Spiral! I looked where she’d been, and sure enough, she was gone. Worried for her, I looked back to the pedestal. She’d gotten her bearings, and was on all fours, glaring at Discord.

“Present three is Spiral here!” Before Spiral or I could even act surprised, he flicked her nose. She had just enough time to raise her forehooves to cover the hurt sniffer before whatever Discord had done set in completely, and they fell back down. Her ears fell, and her eyes, rather than going blank, had gone rings of impossible colors. This was way beyond my power.

Turning back to me, Discord harumphed. “Swat at me, will she? Remember the rules? One day of control? Well, am I the Spirit of Chaos, or am I the Spirit of Chaos? What I say goes! And I say you get to keep this one! For the rest of her life—or yours—Spiral is your faithful hound. She won’t be any different than what you did to her, but it’ll stick. Now, she really does exist for you.”

Discord snapped his fingers, and Spiral hopped from the platform, walked over, and sat right next to me, her eyes still strange colors. She shook her head and returned to normalcy as Discord and his stage vanished, though she seemed a bit shaken.

“What… happened, Master?” I stroked her hair, eliciting a smile instantly.

“Discord’s the one who gave me my power. He pops up now and then to give me something new, or tell me how I’m doing. Next time, don’t worry so much. I only screamed because he startled me.”

“Oh. Um… sorry Master. What did he mean, ‘I’m your present?’” Spiral’s head was cocked to the side, curious, but I wasn’t really in the mood to explain in detail. I kept stroking her hair, and smiled.

“It means I won’t have to give you up. You can stay with me.”

Spiral looked happy enough to cry at the notion of never leaving me. It was very endearing. So naturally, that was when Discord found present number two. Disembodied, his voice came from nowhere. “Oh! Now what was it doing there?” Saddlebags fell from the air just behind Spiral.

Before I could warn her, they landed with a loud bang, and Spiral screamed, jumping onto me. Discord’s laughter echoed through Spiral’s—my—house. “Such a simple trick, but it never gets old!”

With a sigh, I pried free of Spiral and put on the saddlebags, though I emptied one of bits to load it with the drugs from Ponyville General instead, and prepared to finally leave. Accidentally, I stepped into a shadow cast by a shelf, and almost immediately noticed—I seemed not to exist, where the shadow hit me. I was it, and it was me. This was going to come in handy. Spiral hadn’t noticed, busy with her own preparations. I decided to save it. “Let’s go, Spiral.”

All cheer again, Spiral trotted to my side. “Yes Ma—Blank Sheet!”