Discord's New Toy

Okay. Just stop and think. Stop and think. What's the last thing I remember from before I got transported to... Equestria?

Who named it that? Whatever. Just...just try to remember. Well there was work. I finished that. Went for a jog. Okay. Now what? Oh right, there was the bookstore and then that guy...that guy!! I dreamed about him! He was messing with my memories! Right, right and then...what? The only thing that comes to mind is chocolate milk. And being scared shitless. I think that's the best I can hope for right now... Anyway, that guy. What was it about him? The word "chaos" comes to mind... That's weird. Well I know he had something to do with this. What was it he said again? Let's get started? What is this, some sort of game? This isn't funny. You can't just uproot people's lives. Who the HELL does he think he is? When I find him I'll-

"Um, excuse me?"

I pulled my face out of my hands and shouted, "What?!" I was angry at Flutter...face for snapping me out of my reverie.

"Oh...my. Well, I was just wondering where you uh..." She stare wide-eyed at my wild, angry eyes. "...Came...from... I...I'll just go now." She turned and quickly trotted out of the room, closing the door with her tail.

I would probably feel bad about that later, but right then, I just wanted to smash something. I was angry at that guy. That stupid, well-dressed prick. Who would DO something like this? I was angry at myself for just HAVING to go on that stupid jog when I could have just stayed home and watched my stupid tae-kwon-do tapes. I was angry at my stupid, fat boss for making me work late and inadvertently causing me to run into the stupid guy. I was angry at the stupid ponies for being all...like...colorful and shit. Yeah. Stupid, stupid, STUPID!

"GRAAAH!" I picked up the closest thing to me, which happened to be my briefcase, and hurled it through the window, sending shattered glass and a battered case bouncing and skidding a few yards into the undergrowth.

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The ponies looked up at the sudden shout of anger and shattering glass. Twilight started forward, but Applejack put out a hoof before she could reach the door.

"Ah reckon he don't wanna see anypony right now"

Fluttershy nodded and gave a quiet noise of agreement. Twilight just stared and replied, "Well, what if he hurt himself? Or what if he's trying to run away? We can't just let him leave! We're in the middle of the Everfree!"

Applejack looked worried at this and turned to Rainbow Dash, who was raiding the pantry for junk food.

"This food is kinda weird, but it's pretty good! Can't read the bag though. It's just got some weird writing and a picture of a...cheetah on it."

Applejack eyed the cyan pegasus and said, "We need someone to hover outside and make sure this feller doesn't try to run off into the woods."

"Welllllll...can't Fluttershy do it?"

There was a small "Eep!" and a yellow blur dashing into the cabinets under the sink.

"I was kidding Fluttershy!" Rainbow said, only half lying. "I'll go out there and patrol the dark, spooooooky woods." She turned and exited the kitchen, adding under her breath, "Only Celestia knows why you're scared of the woods, little Miss Freakin' Animal Whisperer."

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I continued to rage and stomp around, yelling bloody murder for quite a while. I then just looked at my bed, turned, and sat down hard. There had to be something I could do. Some way to reverse the effects. I'd have to track down that guy. But how would I do that? He was like a GOD or something crazy like that. How do you track down a god? Google? There was no way I could ever find him, unless he wanted to find me. Who knows when that would be. Gods live forever right? So my life is just a blip on the celestial radar that will eventually go out in a number of years. No time at all to a god. No, there had to be some other way. That purple unicorn used magic right? Well maybe she knew something about teleportation spells. But, how would she know where to send me? She's probably never even heard of Earth. Shit. I don't want her too teleport me into the middle of space somewhere or a black hole. Or a star. Or some OTHER planet. At least here, They spoke English. How do they do that, by the way? Worry about that later. Think of some other way out. There has to be SOMETHING.

I continued to think of ways to get back for a while until I turned to stare at the broken window. I thought about how much that was going to cost. There HAD to be a way to get back home, and when I do get back, I'd have to pay for that window. Yeah that window... I stared through the broken glass into the trees. Unfamiliar trees. In Washington, there's mostly pine with a few oak trees. Maybe even a few sequoias. But these... THESE were alien. Different. Hostile. Sure, they were wooden trunks with mostly green leaves, but there were thousands of different species, each one trying to take over the other. They don't make them like that where I come from. Forests are usually just one type of dominant tree, not a chaotic mess at war with itself, vying for dominance.

That's when I began to realize the gravity of my situation. I wasn't just in a different place, I was on a totally different planet. Far, far away from Earth. I think talking pony societies would've made it to the Discovery Channel at some point. Suddenly Carl Sagan saying "A hundred billion galaxies, each with about a hundred billion planets and stars" popped into my head.

"Oh God. Oh GOD! No! I can't...I can't be...oh no..."

I slid off the bed onto my knees and stared at my knotting hands on the stained carpet, my body shaking with sobs. I was scared and alone. There was no one, no one who knew where I was. No one who could find me or help me get home. Family, friends, co-workers, and everybody who I ever talked to was gone. Just gone. And there was no possible way I could ever see them again.

I was startled by a gentle hoof laid across my back. I looked up and saw a warm smile on a butter colored pony face. I sat up on my knees and stared at her with a tear streaked face. Then I came to my senses and wiped my eyes saying, "Sorry I jus-"

I was interrupted by sudden hug. I just sat there, bewildered. I then heard a soothing voice say, "Don't worry. You can cry on me if you need to. I know what it's like to be frightened. You've got a friend in me."

I just kind of sat there, my face contorting, trying not to release an anguished howl. Then I was struck by a sudden urge to wrap my arms around the pony. I gave in, shaking with silent sobs, finally feeling safe in this strange and unfamiliar world.

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About an hour after Rainbow Dash left, Rarity turned to Pinkie Pie, who was eyeing the bag of orange things Rainbow Dash left behind. Pinkie was munching on the sugary bits of cereal from a box with a mini Isaac on it, except with orange hair and a green hat. She looked up and met Rarity's gaze.

"Whatsa matter Rarity?"

"Darling, you should probably stop eating this gentlepo-er gentlecreature's food. Did you see those fangs? Fanged animals usually eat meat, you know."

Pinkie cocked her head and replied, "Well, he seemed friendly enough. Besides, Spike is an omnivore! but he would never ever eat meat, at least not while being raised by a pony. I don't think Isacc'll eat me just for having a few of his snacks. Besides, I'll throw him the best "Welcome to Ponyville" party ever! Ooh! And then, we should have a "Discovered a New Animal" party! Won't that be fun! And for a theme, we can have all the decorations look all alien and creepy! And multi-colored punch! And-"

"Pinkie Pie! What I meant by that was, he eats meat, and probably lived with other creatures who eat meat. He may have some lying around in this...kitchen area. So, I would be more careful if I were you."

Pinkie looked at the box she was holding and suddenly imagined a diabolical grin on the little leprechaun's face. She promptly spat out what was left in her mouth and gingerly put the box away, treating it like it were an urn full of ashes.

"Sorry for eating you! I promise I won't do it again!"

She knew perfectly well that it was just cereal from tasting it, but she decided to play on Rarity's fear, just to giggle internally at that look of horror Rarity was giving the box.

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Fluttershy looked at the chemicals under the sink, wondering what anyone could possibly need them all for. She uncapped a jug and sniffed cautiously. Drawing back swiftly, she snorted, feeling as if someone had just rammed pencils into her snout. With her eyes watering, she decided not to mess with anything else down there. Then her ears twitched towards a small noise coming from the bedroom. It sounded like...sobbing. She had always had a knack for knowing when someone else is sad. Not wanting anyone to follow her, she made her way to the kitchen door and slipped out quietly.

Rainbow Dash was hovering around the perimeter of the house, eyeing each window individually, making sure no weird pink things decided to bolt. "Whatever. If he hasn't come out by now, I doubt he ever will." Just as she was getting ready to head back in due to boredom, she spotted a strange creature making it's way toward her. Her keen pegasus eyes recognized it as Discord.  She waved in greeting and he waved back, grinning a stupidly happy grin. She'd never seen him that happy.

As he fluttered down to the roof, Rainbow Dash landed in front of him saying, "What's up?"

"Oh I just wanted to see what all the ruckus was about last night." He glanced down at the structure he was standing on. "Same color, but definitely not phoenix ashes."

Rainbow Dash chuckled at the joke. "Well, duh"

Tapping the roof with a scaly foot he replied, "So what did you find in here?"

She didn't like that look he was giving her, almost like he already knew. She brushed those thoughts aside and said back, "Well, it's really weird. We found this pink thing, with hands instead of hooves. Oh, and fangs!" She brought her hooves up to the sides of her face to imitate gnashing teeth.

"Fangs?"

"Yeah, they're totally wicked looking! Anyway, It talks and we're pretty sure it's a dude. It has a really weird name. Isaac. At least it's easy to say. We're also pretty sure it eats meat. Also, he... well uh...he may be having a hard time adjusting."

Discord's gleeful look turned suddenly serious, saying, "Adjusting? What do you mean? Is there something wrong with him?"

"No, no it's just uh...he got a little bit angry. Not at us!" She said at Discord's suddenly wrathful look, "At least, I don't think so. He was alone in his room and suddenly he shouted and threw his saddleba- er whatever that is through the window.  You can see it over there." She pointed a hoof down at the briefcase and broken glass that had scattered through the brush.

Discord gave it a glance, recognizing it as Isaac's briefcase. "Oh, well at least he threw his case through the window instead of one of you. Things may have gotten a bit ah...chaotic at that point."

Rainbow Dash didn't like that fury that passed over her friend's usually jovial features. "Well, if he had, you've got me here to take care of it!" She flashed him a grin, which quelled his residual anger. She sighed in relief, knowing that if Discord stepped in to stop the strange creature, things could get ugly fast.

"Oh, and I shook hooves er- claws...no. Hands! I shook hands with him! It was pretty neat. A little weird though, I thought he was scaly at first, but his skin is really-"

"That's so interesting, but I think I should take a look at this myself, Rainbow."

She huffed at being interrupted in her story about the first mare to ever touch this new creature, but she decided to let it slide. This time. "Yeah, okay. If you fly down to his window you can proly see in. Don't let him see you though. He had a hard enough time looking at us."

"Magical being here." He said, snapping his fingers to turn himself invisible.

"Oh. Right. I totally knew that."