Under Pressure

Chapters

Pinkie's Party
Family Affairs
The Demon
Formerly Friends
A "Darshe" of Hope
Twilight's farewell.

Pinkie's Party

Big Macintosh opened his eyes, once more. The sun had risen higher into the sky, and the darkness had been chased further down into the trench. His body had begun to warm very slightly as the beams from the sun kissed his dirt-ridden red coat. His heart felt heavy as he reflected upon Twilight’s send-off. He had always watched as the six ponies went on adventure after adventure, together. They cared so deeply for one another, they’d journey all the way to the far reaches of Equestria and back if any one of them ever needed help. Forever loyal and always smiling. They had shared so many laughs, together. Big Mac had imagined how hard it would be on his little sister, Applejack, but he never knew it would lead to the rest of the group breaking up.

Twilight never sent any letters. Her six friends in Ponyville wrote to her every day, but they never received anything back. In fact, as Big Mac recalled, he never heard even Spike mention anything about hearing from her. He had expected Spike to react the worst to her absence, but he was doing surprisingly well by Rarity’s side, who just as much needed Spike.

After a solid month of not hearing from her, however, the friends began to feel a sense of hopelessness. Losing their feelings of belonging, they started to drift. They stopped visiting each other, stopped having tea-time together, stopped having pet play dates, and even stopped greeting each other as they passed by one another. All except for Pinkie pie. Pinkie pie was always trying to keep the group together. She would host party after party for her friends, but after the first three big blowouts, none but Fluttershy continued to show up. Pinkie was on the brink of losing it.

***

Big Macintosh and Cheerilee had been on one of their afternoon walks through the town. Big Mac always loved spending time with Cheerilee. He didn’t say much, for such is his nature, but he was always eager to hear her stories. Her ever-sunny disposition was endearing. She had just been finishing up with a story of one of her students overcoming their fear of social rejection. Of course, being the family-pony Big Mac was, he held great respect for the teacher who always went that extra mile to help her students. She really looked out for them.

He pondered over her words for a moment, then responded with an approving, “eeyup”. Cherrilee giggled at his simple yet hearty response. Big Mac stopped walking, taking a moment to smile at her. When Cheerilee realized he was no longer beside her, she turned back, and gave Big Mac a cheerful grin in return. They simply smiled at each other for a long moment, enjoying one-another’s company.

SLAM!

Big Mac hadn’t realized they were standing in front of sugarcube corner until Pinkie pie came bursting out from the front door in a cheerful frenzy, snapping the two admiring ponies out of their trance. The pink mare bounced whimsically around them. “You came! You came! I knew somepony would show up! I had a feeling this one was going to be the real deal!” Big macintosh and Cheerilee glanced quizzically at one another, as if one of them might have the answer as to what in Equestria Pinkie pie was talking about. Cheerilee decided to break the short silence.

“Pinkie pie, we’re not sure what you’re speaking of. Were you expecting us?” Pinkie replied with a simple nod, the grin on her face seeming to grow wider than her face. She placed her head firmly upon Cheerilee’s flank and pushed her into the bakery. Big Mac shrugged and followed suite. He was legitimately curious what Pinkie had going on. Though it was difficult to take her in more than small doses, Pinkie’s shenanigans always led to something at least interesting, and always unique.

As they stepped through the threshold, Fluttershy waved at them. She was wearing a cone-shaped party hat and had streamers caught in her mane. “Hello, Big Macintosh. How are you, Cheerilee?”

“Oh, we’re doing perfectly well! How have you been, Fluttershy? It’s been a while!” Fluttershy forced a smile. She gave a neutral shrug and looked downward, pawing at the ground with her hoof. Again, Big Mac and Cheerilee shared a quick glance of confusion at one-another.

There was a record player to the right against the wall. It was playing festive party music. The lively tunes didn’t quite fit the lonely, drab scene of the ‘party’. Pinkie hopped to the turntable and raised the volume, making the floors shutter under the heavy bass. “Let’s get this party started!”, she shouted, eagerly.

Though it seemed forced off the get-go, the fun began to flow more fluidly as the night went on. It started with simple dancing. Pinkie, naturally, was the first on the dance floor, bouncing playfully, cutting a rug, and a poppinand a lockin. Soon after, cheerilee joined in, mimicking Pinkie’s new dance as she got into the swing of it. With an encouraging smile from Big Mac, Fluttershy accompanied him to the dance floor. The four danced straight through five songs.

They played party games like pin the tail on the donkey and truth or dare. Nothing too over-the-top. Everypony learned of Cheerilee’s unusual obsession with underground Pony Buck-Boxing competitions and revealed several cuts and bruises hidden behind her makeup. Big Mac tried to squeeze into one of Pinkie pie’s candy-themed dresses, but quickly ceased when the back tore wide open, causing an explosive giggle-fit from Pinkie. Fluttershy confessed an embarrassing story from her early days of flight school, and Pinkie had to stop talking for five whole minutes. That was quite a laugh.

After the games, they had a conga-line. A more classy song played finally on Pinkie’s playlist, so Big Mac and cheerilee waltzed, together. Around midnight, the random party died down. Cheerilee yawned in an exaggerated manner. “I really must be getting home, soon. I have class in the morning”, she said, groggily. Pinkie’s shoulders grew heavy. All the pep and excitement she’d carried throughout the night had waded. Big Macintosh, just then, realized that her hair was still deflated.

Normally, Pinkie pie’s hair is wild, curly, crazy, and all over the place. There was one incident, however, a few months back in which Pinkie thought her friends were abandoning her. Her hair had deflated just as it was, at the moment. He’d heard from Applejack that Pinkie was talking to pots and plants like she’d gone off the deep end. Big Mac wanted to do something to console her. With the way the group had drifted, he knew Pinkie must be feeling lonely, which would explain the sudden, and somewhat forced invitation. He wanted to console her, but wasn’t very good with words. He looked pleadingly at Cheerilee, who, seeming to understand, nodded and directed her attention to Pinkie pie.

“You don’t seem like you’re doing too well, Pinkie”, she said warmly, as if she were talking to one of her foal students. “Come on, sweaty, let’s go for a little walk, outside.” At that, the two departed out the front door. Big Macintosh couldn’t help but wonder if Applejack knew about Pinkie’s party. He had a hard time believing that she would just ignore one of her closest friends when she was in such need of companionship. It wasn’t like her at all.

He pondered for a moment until he realized Fluttershy still in the room. She was sitting on the floor behind him, looking downward and rubbing her foreleg with her hoof. She sensed his eyes on her, and spoke quietly. “Things haven’t been the same since twilight left.”

Big Mac had noticed so many changes in his sister since the day twilight left. He, too, wondered what happened to everypony. It seemed as though they all simply lost the desire to remain friends. Though he was never a good conversationalist, he found it easy to talk to the one pony who appeared more shy than himself. “What happened, Fluttershy?” His voice was deep and gruffly, and he spoke sternly, making Fluttershy look up to make eye contact.

“well...”, she began, “After she left, though we were sad, we were very happy for her. We wrote her all the time. We sent care packages, and Spike sent letter after letter telling her of his days. After a week’s time, she still hadn’t responded, and her care packages had all been sent back.” She carried a sincere and worried expression upon her face. “We were so scared she was in trouble, we all headed out to Canterlot to go visit her. Princess Celestia said she wouldn’t mind when they left Ponyville, so we went ahead. The gaurds wouldn’t let us through, though. They said Princess Twilight specifically requested that she be left alone while she worked.

“We knew she was probably just too busy, but after more time passed, we all began to fear the worst; that Twilight didn’t want to be our friend, anymore. After a while, everypony just started getting sad, and we all drifted apart. Pinkie pie has been throwing parties every other day, inviting the whole group, hoping that we could all come together again, but lately, nopony else has been showing up.”

She stared at Big Macintosh, waiting for a response, but he didn’t know what to say. She was feeling abandoned by her friends and worried for the one pony who still included her in anything. Should I try ta console her? Tell er it’s goin ta be okay? Maybe hug `er? I’m not too good at that. Maybe I should just nod… Reaching a decision, the red stallion nodded and replied with yet another, “eeyup”.

Fluttershy cocked an eyebrow and tilted her head as she look at him, questioningly. “Yup? Yup to what?” Big Mac felt a bead of sweat roll down the side of his brow. His heart quickening, and his temperature rising, slightly, he struggled to find a response. Why am I gettin’ so nervous, all of a sudden?

Searching desperately for a response to appease the yellow mare, he spoke in a slurred hurry before he even had time to think about it. “I promise I won’t leave ya, Fluttershy. We'll always be tugether.” He felt like a complete tool. He expected to find her wearing a look of skeptic criticism. He was quite surprised however, to see her lips trembling and her face turning beat-red. Though she tried to fight it, she blushed, intensely. She hid her face behind her light-pink mane and faced away, leaving Big Macintosh staring at her, slack-jawed. What was that?

As if beckoned by father-time, himself, Cheerilee and Pinkie pie returned through the front door, Pinkie looking slightly more resolved than before. “okay, everypony, I guess it’s time for bed”, she said with defeat. “Big Macintosh, Cheerilee, can you come back, and hang out with me, again, soon? Promise me you will!” Her puppy-dog eyes bore a hole through Big Mac’s heart. He was too sympathetic to the puppy-eyes. An unfortunate fact that Applebloom never failed to take advantage of. Thank Celestia for Applejack.

“Eeyup”, he said with a nod.

Cheerilee giggled, again, and repeated. “Eeyup”, she said, nodding her head, decisively. The three mares laughed together as Big Macintosh blushed.

The ponies bid each other goodnight, and separated to their respective homes. He felt good having helped boost Pinkie pie’s mood, but his mind was too preoccupied to let him feel happy. His thoughts were stuck on Fluttershy. What was that back there? Did I say somethinwrong? Why do I feel so strange? The stallion questioned himself, though he had no answers. Cheerilee seemed more attached today than usual, too. Pinkie pie seemed so out of character. Why’s everypony actin so crazy? Alone, Big Macintosh pondered as he made his way back to his home at Apple Acres.

Family Affairs

A Lizard tapping along Big Mac’s nose shocked him into alertness. He jumped and shook his head violently, sending the small creature flying. As he did, a horrendously sickening series of crunches erupted from his spine. “AAAAAAHHJHHHHHHGGGGGHHH!” The pain burning through his nerves was immense. He wanted to drop his head back down on the ground to alleviate the intense pressure built up in his neck, but his head was stuck in that position. He knew trying to force his neck back into the right position could potentially kill him. Spinal injuries were truly nasty prospects.

Horrifyin`, too! There was very little that the gruff and masculine Big Macintosh would ever admit to being afraid of, but knowing how messed up he was, and knowing nopony was coming to help him gave him greater fear than he’d ever felt before. He was left with few options. He had to correct his scrunched, stiff neck. He knew he had to simply act without thinking about it. The more he’d think about it, the more he’d lose his nerve.

He lifted his neck, twisted his head to the left as far as he could, which still wasn’t very far, and slammed his snout into the ground, twisted his neck in the opposite direction, and forcing his head to swivel back to its standard position.

SNAP!

His eyes shut, tight, and his whole body tensed up as he waited for the pain to wash over him. To his surprise, it didn’t come. It actually felt kind of nice. Feeling lucky as he’d felt all day, he laid his head back down comfortably on the hard ground.

He wondered how long it’d been. The sun was at its pinnacle, warming his core and shedding light to the entire trench. Without moving his head, he glanced to his left. The entire trench was blocked off by boulders as large as houses only a few yards down. If he had been any deeper in, the rocks would have killed him for sure. Another reason ta feel lucky, ah guess, he thought to himself. He didn’t want to count himself as too lucky unless he made it out of there, alive.

He didn’t know if anypony would find him, or ever look for him. If not, he couldn’t know how long he would he have until he died from hunger or dehydration. He wasn’t sure if he would have rather been crushed immediately.

Big Mac’s mind started to drift toward Applebloom. His stomach twisted as she popped into his head. How will she react when er teacher tellser that her drunk, idiot brother accidentally killed `imself in a big crumbly mess? He felt a hot tear run down his cheek. Especially after how I treated `erlast time I saw her.

***

Applebloom and her fellow crusaders bid each other fare well as she separated from Sweaty bell and Scootaloo. She trotted, carelessly toward her house just as she did every day after school. As she approached the door, it swung open with a violent crash. She jumped aside as Applejack and Big Macintosh came walking out. Applebloom opened her mouth to greet her older siblings, but was cut off by Applejack before she could speak.

“Honestly, Big Macintosh, where do ya get off?! Ya think ya can criticize me about MAH friends?! Who do ya think ya’re, anyway!” Applebloom hunkered down, hoping they didn’t notice her. Big Macintosh and Applejack hadn’t argued about anything since that time Big Mac told Applejack that she couldn’t harvest all the season’s apples by herself when he was recovering from an injury. She didn’t know what to do. She hated this kind of aggression-driven argument. Without any parents, Applebloom always feared her family drifting apart.

“Now, Applejack, I’m just sayin that ya ought to be more sensitive ta Pinkie pie! You shoulda seen er the other night, Apple! She was a MESS! All she wants iser friends. So where are they, Applejack? Where are y’all?!” Big Macintosh Wore a deep grimace. Applebloom had never seen him so fierce and so intimidating. His voice was deep and gruff, and when he shouted, it seemed to boom through every acre of the farm, causing the birds to erupt from the trees in a fluttering explosion.

She sunk down, further and backed away, slowly, hiding behind the corner of the house with just an eye poking out to continue to watch the fiery debate.

“Are YOU seriously judging ME?! How dare ya criticize MY friendships! Do ya even have any friends, Big Mac? Heck, last I remembered, ya haven’t been able ta hold a conversation with anyone but me since ma and pa died!” Applebloom couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Her big sister, Applejack, was the kindest pony she’d ever known. How can she say something so heartless? She expected her older brother to explode after such a remark, but to her surprise, he didn’t say anything.

The gentle giant simply closed his eyes and turned his back to his beloved sister. Applejack’s angry expression vanished instantly, her jaw falling, limply, and her eyes opening, wide. With a glance back to take in the sight of his spiteful sister, he shook his head, slowly. It was the truest look of disappointment she’d ever seen on a Pony. He stepped forward and started walking. He walked into the west fields until he was a red dot far over yonder. I gust of wind whispered to the gentle fields, making the grass on the ground and the leaves in the trees ripple with it, granting a very poetic light on the scene as Big Mac disappeared behind a gentle hill.

Applebloom returned her gaze to her sister in astonishment, unable to predict what reaction she might have. Applejack only lowered her head and walked back inside, letting the net-door swing shut with a crash.

She was alone now, sitting in the corner bewildered and terrified. What just happened? I can’t believe what I just saw, Applebloom thought to herself. She didn’t know what to do. It was her worst fear coming to life. She couldn’t let the last of her family fall apart. She knew she had to intervene. She didn’t know how seriously the grown-ups would take her as a mediator, but she knew she had to try.

After a slight hesitation, she swallowed her fear and lowered her brow in avid determination. I gotta save mah family!

She entered through the screen door, walking slowly forward toward the staircase across the kitchen. The door slammed shut behind her, sending a boom throughout the house. Her fur stood on end, and she quickly dropped to the ground and looked in every direction, trying to find the perpetrator of the crashing sound. After realizing it was just the door, she wiped the beads of perspiration off her forehead and continued soundlessly toward the stairs in her crouched position.

She peered to her left as she passed by the living room to find Granny Apple asleep in her rocking chair, snoring and murmuring while she softly rolled in place back and forth. How can she sleep through that?! She reached the stairs and crawled up on her belly. Proceeding slowly and listening intently for movement, she advanced until she reached the top.

There were five doors in the upstairs hallway. To her left, Big Macintosh’s room, her own room, and the bathroom. All were empty. To her right, were Granny’s room and Applejack’s room. Applejack’s door stood slightly ajar, open wide enough only for one thin beam of light to penetrate the darkness of the unlit hallway.

She inched ever closer to her sister’s bedroom, hearing naught but a slight sniffle coming from inside. When she got closer, she stood up, peaking through the tiny crevice between the edge of the door and the door jam.

Apple jack was lying face-down on her bed, her face buried in her pillow. She’s crying! She never cries! She’s too strong ta cry! A sharp gasp escaped from Appleblooms mouth. Applejack jerked up her head and wiped the tears off her face, staring at the door in frustration.

Oh no! She seen me! Soundlessly, Applebloom dropped to the floor and rolled sideways to the other side, then got back up on her hind-hooves with her back against the wall. Did she see me? Her heart started beating faster. She tried to ignore the fresh, salty drops of sweat dripping down her snout, and tickling her nose.

Applejack’s door opened, and she started to stick her head out to scan the hallway. Applebloom had to think fast. Granny Apple’s bedroom was directly in front of her with the door hanging open. Without a moment’s hesitation, she dipped down on her hind legs and jumped forward, ninja-rolling as she made contact with the ground. Safely in Granny Apple’s bedroom, she hid behind the door with her ear to the floor to listen for hoof steps. She heard none. A soft click echoed through the hallway as the latch to Applejacks door closed. Applebloom sat on the floor, flustered. What in Equestria is goin on?

Well, Applejack is pretty upset right now, and I don’t wanna talk ta her when she’s like this. She gets testy! She placed her hoof to her mouth and rubbed her chin while she contemplated. Maybe I’d better go talk ta Big Macintosh. He’s always reasonable. Nodding her head in approval of her own idea, she stood up and trotted down the hallway, unknowing of Applejack staring at her through her now-opened door with a confused look the whole while.

Applebloom smiled humorously to herself as she passed by her granny, once again, to find her still fast asleep. She exited out the kitchen door and dashed toward the west field where Big Mac had walked off. He usually doesn’t like me interrupting him while he’s workin, but I’m sure he won’t mind, now. This is a family ‘mergency!

Big Macintosh came into view as Appleloom topped a gentle slope. He wasn’t bucking for apples like she had expected. He sat in the grass in deep contemplation. He didn’t seem too upset. He seemed more worried than angry. Applebloom walked toward him and planted her flank on the ground, in front of him.

He looked up to smile warmly at her. “Hey Big Macintosh”, she said. “Why is sis so angry?” She hoped it wasn’t too forward of her, but she never was one to beat around the bush. His smile faded, being replaced with a stern, parental look.

”Applebloom, that’s grown-folk business.”

“But Big Mac”, she retorted, “I just wanna help!” Big mac narrowed his eyes at her and shook his head, indicating that she needed to stop pursuing the subject. She wasn’t about to give up so easily, though. “Why is sis mad at Pinkie pie? Did Pinkie do sumthin bad?”

“Applebloom, just stop”, he pleaded.

“Was she talkin too much, or something? I know sis said sometimes she can be too hyper.”

“Applebloom, plea…”

“Why is she bein so mean ta ya when ya tried ta help?”

“Ya just stop right ther…”

“Is Pinkie sad? Why is she a mess? How did ya know she was so sad? Is she your friend, now?”

“Appleblo…”

“Is that why sis is mad? Did ya steal Pinkie from `er?”

“THAT’S ENOUGH, APPLEBLOOM!” Big Macintosh’s roar was enough to make even the mightiest of dragons quake in their scales. She fell dead-silent, sinking lower to the ground. She felt as though she had shrunk to half her size. She stared at him with disbelieving wide eyes as he scorned her.

“You ought ta know better than ta meddle in grown-up affairs! I don’t wanna hear another word outta ya, ya got that?!” Applebloom only nodded, lamely, in response. “Good! Now get home, Applebloom, I got some GROWN-UP’S matters ta attend ta! And don’t ya let me catch ya pesterin me or yer sister `bout this, again, ya hear?!” Applebloom nodded, once more, her lips starting to quiver. “Go on then”, he said finally, gesturing his hoof toward the house.

She continued to sit. She had never been yelled at like that, before, and the last pony she expected to be the first to scold her so heavily was her generous big brother. “GO!” Big Macintosh repeated, menacingly. Tears erupted from Appleblooms eyes. She ran toward her house, and away from big Mac. Her tears were lost in the wind as she ran. She dashed across the field as fast as she could, trying to work off the pain of her shattered heart.

She ran straight past the house deeper into the fields. She ran until she reached the treehouse that served as the cutie mark crusaders clubhouse. It was starting to get late, and their meeting would start soon. She had to get ahold of herself before they arrived.

With her head hanging low to the ground, she walked up to her treehouse, where she stayed the duration of the night.

The Demon

“Dammit!” Big Mac had become beyond restless. The previous feelings of fear and hopelessness had vanished to be replaced with iron-smelting anger. He didn’t know if he was going to survive, but at this point, he no longer cared. He just wanted to be free. With no more fear of breaking his spine, he wiggled and squirmed violently, trying to squeeze free from the mountainous tomb he had encased himself in. His front hooves flailed, wildly, beating the ground in front of him, and raising a massive cloud of dust into the air.

The midday sun burned ruthlessly, summoning sweat from every pore in Big Mac’s body. He gridded his teeth as he struggled. “GAAAAHHHHH! Let me go! I… WANT… OUT!” Like a volcano blowing through its top, Big mac pushed, using his venomous anger as strength. He stood. Putting every fiber of his body to work, he stood tall, ignoring the burning pain that shot through his back and hind legs. With the last of his strength, he bucked as hard as he could, causing the larger boulders to roll off the side of his back, and sending several rocks and pebbles flying in every direction.

The crevice was so hazy with dust, he could barely see. He stood motionless for what seemed like forever. It was as though time had stood still. After a full night and half of a day, he’d finally broken out. I’m FREE! Ah don’t believe it, I’m actually FREE! Despite his hurt body and crying muscles, he felt completely weightless. At that moment, he swore he could float away, gravity unable to hold him back. “YES! TA HELL WITH YA, MOUNTAIN! YA CAN’T BEAT ME! YA HEAR THAT?! YA CAN’T BEAT ME!” He was ecstatic. He felt better than he’d felt in months. With a triumphant start, he began to trot out of the crevice, moving carelessly, bobbing his head just as Applebloom always did.

A smile crept onto his face at the thought of Applebloom. I’m commin` home, sweetie. Ya just hang on, now. It was then that his adrenaline had begun to fade away. The tremendous pain in his overstrained, broken body hit him all at once like a speeding freight train. He stopped in his tracks, grinding his teeth to the pain. He tried to stay on his hooves. He tried to fight it, but it was too much, and as the world started spinning, he collapsed. His ears rang as his head bounced off the hard packed dirt trail just outside the trench.

His vision became blurred. The battle that waged between his body demanding rest and his mind trying to deny it had ended, and his body won. His mind began to shut down. A burning sensation erupted in his lungs. A thick, sticky, red substance sprayed out of his mouth as he coughed, uncontrollably. He wiped his running nose with his fore-hoof. When he pulled it back, he saw not mucus, but fresh blood soaking into his fur.

Unable to fight it any longer, he closed his eyes, feeling his mind shutting down, process by process. Just like that, he was dead to the world.

***

Big Macintosh awoke in a hospital. The fluorescent lights shining down from the ceiling illuminated a plain, white room. I’m… back? He took a minute to assess the area around him. It was a small four-wall room with two beds. There was a sink on the far wall to his left, and a counter holding various medical supplies against the far wall in front of him. Just to the left of the counter was a door leading into an empty, white hallway.

He was completely alone. The bed beside his was empty. After such time in seclusion, he felt a pulling need for companionship, even if it was another injured, clueless pony. He needed to hear the voice of another pony.

Clacking hoof steps rang into the room from the hallway. Somepony was approaching. Big Mac waited patiently for the mysterious pony to arrive. It seemed like the unknown pony was walking a full mile to get to his room. His eyes were glued on the open doorway. He began to grow impatient as the clacking grew slightly louder at a painfully slow rate.

After what seemed like ten minutes, a plain white mare with the cutie mark of a syringe walked through the threshold into the white room. She had sparkling blue eyes and wore a white cap with a red cross on the front. She had a long pink mane, one that reminded Big Mac of Fluttershy. She seemed warm and kind. Her presence somehow made him melt, inside.

As she looked at him, she greeted him with a wide, friendly smile. “Hellooooo, Big Macintosh. Finally Awake I see!” Her voice was sweet as honey. It suited her soft and feminine features. “That’s so good to see. I’m Nurse Pixie, I’ve been looking after you since you were admitted. Now, I know your mind must be buzzing with questions for me, but first I need to run some quick tests, okay?” She was strangely intoxicating. With a big, goofy smile, he nodded at her. “Great!”

She approached him and took his radial pulse in her hoof. She poked and prodded at his rib cage. “Welp, everything’s looking good! Do you mind if I ask you some questions, dear?”

“Nope”, said Big Mac, shaking his head, smiling.

“Great! First off, how are you feeling, right now? Do you feel any pain?”

“Nope”, he said, cheerfully.

“You should”, she said a bit sourly. Big Mac didn’t know what to make of it, so he shrugged it off. “Do you feel any mental stress? Are you having trouble controlling your emotional reactions?

“Nope.”

“Great. Did you hit your head at any point during your accident?”

“Eeyup.”

“Fascinating. Okay, let’s see here”. Nurse Pixie pulled out her clip board from the bin at the foot of his bed and began writing things down. She took a seat on the empty bed and crossed her legs. “Big Mac, how did you feel while you were under those rocks?”

He hesitated for a moment. “Ummm… Ah dunno, a bit stressed, ah guess”, he said with a shrug.

“Were you stressed due to your guilt for mistreating your family?” His heart skipped a beat. How in Equestria does she know anythin `bout mah family?

“What`re ya talkin bout?” He tried to shake himself from the trance he was under, but she was too alluring. Something about her presence made him want to spill his guts about anything and everything. But he didn’t trust her, and the stranger her questioning became, the more uneasy he felt.

“Denial. That’s unhealthy, young colt”, Nurse Pixie said in a patronizing and disapproving tone. “Do you blame yourself for Pinkie Pie’s death?” This question knocked him through a loop. His eyes widened and his heart seemed to stop.

“Pinkie aint dead! How do ya know `bout Pinkie, anyway?!” As his temperature rose, her mental pull grew weaker.

“You’re right”, Pixie, said. “Pinkie Pie is quite all right… physically. She ALMOST died, Big Macintosh. I KNOW you blame yourself.” Big Mac snarled at her, the trance fading more rapidly. She was right though, and he knew it. It WAS my fault…

“You were the only pony who could’ve made a difference. You criticized your sister so harshly, but you couldn’t even keep YOUR friends ALIVE. How does that make you feel, sweetie?” She marinated her atrocious comment with a contradicting sweet smile. Big Macintosh was getting furious. Who does this LUNATIC think she is?!

“I’m leavin!” Big Mac climbed out of his bed and ripped the hospital gown he just realized he’d been wearing off with his teeth, discarding it onto the floor. He walked to the door in a huff. Within the blink of his eyes, Nurse Pixie was standing in front of him, blocking the exit. That’s impossible. How’d she move so fast? “Ya just get outta mah way now, ya hear?” The statement seemed to wildly amuse her. She began laughing at him, as though his words were the funniest joke anypony had ever heard.

Big Macintosh had enough, he grinded his teeth and narrowed his eyes. As his hatred grew, her laugh deepened. Seeming as though the trance had slipped away into the recycled hospital air, her lure vanished, and no sooner than it did, her face began to change. Before his very eyes, Pixie began to morph into something much more hideous than a kind, caring nurse.

Her snout narrowed, becoming pointed at the end. Her hair became unkempt, full of tangles, split ends, and crimson-red streaks. Her gleaming white coat became filthy and ridden with deep cuts and gashes. Blood stained her chest, neck, and hooves. Her teeth sharpened into angular, beastly fangs. Streaks of pink and red hair hung over her eyes, which had darkened into a rusty shade of red. Her laugh was now deep and hoarse, making her sound like a turntable playing a warped record. Her voice echoed from every direction, as if it was actually booming out of every corner of the room, making him feel surrounded by her.

She spoke in a menacingly demonic tone through a throat-full of gravel. “You think you can leave?! BWAHAHAHA! You’re trapped in here, SWEETIE! You can run as long and far as your body is capable, but you will NEVER escape the demons inside you!” Again, she proceeded to mock him with her maniacal laughter.

This can’t be real, he thought to himself. Ah gotta be dreamin or sumthin! He backed away from her, slowly. The bright lights started to flicker, rapidly, until they were replaced with a pale, yellow glow. The room around him began to change in appearance. The walls darkened to black and varying shades of brown and yellow. The tile under his hooves was cracked and charred. The ceiling had been replaced with strange, pulsating stalactites that looked like living tissue. The ambient air grew hot, as if he was standing above a raging inferno. A high-pitched ringing appeared, suddenly, making his eardrums ache. It was the worst scene he could possibly envisage. The demons he’d hid for so long had finally come to make him pay.

What er ya gonna do, now? Roll over an start cryin?! His inner-voice was filled with artificial determination as he gave himself a mental pep-talk. She’s Just a spoiled little mare! This fluzy is gonna get outta mah way or I’ll trample over her like the ground ah walk on! He leaned forward, his chest puffed out, revealing the deep lines in his lean, bulky muscle he’d developed from a lifetime of plowing fields. Feeling tall and powerful, he adjusted to a pouncing position; flank in the air, shoulders low, head close to the ground, and eyes locked on his target. He scuffed at the burnt floor with his front hoof and snorted, indicating that he was preparing to charge at her.

Despite his advantage in size and intimidating demeanor, demon Pixie looked unworried. She smirked at him, as if to say, ‘I dare you’. He took off. Charging full speed at her from the short distance he’d started from, he attempted to bash her into pieces. Right before his dense forehead made contact with her, she evaporated in a puff of black smoke. He stopped and looked around, utterly bewildered. Where’d she go? The evil laughter that chilled him to the bone piped up from behind him. His eyes shot open, wide. Impossible! He turned his head slowly. She was there, where’d he’d just been standing. She ceased laughing and shot him a big toothy grin, followed by a playful wink.

Oh, buck this! He turned his head forward and began to sprint down the long, narrow hallway. It looked just as the room had, as if it had been burnt. The stalactites overhead continued to pulsate. It seemed to go on, forever. As he made his way deeper into the ominous hallway, the ringing in his ears grew louder. It became painful, almost to the point of being unbearable. His mind became panicked, and his vision grew hazy. Like running through a portal, he suddenly appeared somewhere else.

This is gettin ridiculous! He looked around trying to figure out where he had appeared. The ringing had quit, and all he could hear, then, were leaves rustling. A breeze ruffled through the apple trees. I’m… on the farm....

“Go on, then!” He heard the all too familiar voice shouting from a distance. He began to follow the voice until a small figure dashed out from behind a bush.

Applebloom!

She dashed away toward the eastern field, crying her eyes out. She didn’t seem to have seen him. “APPLEBLOOM”, he cried out. She ran on, completely unaware of his presence. He was just about to start running after her when a much larger figure stepped out from behind a tree. He stood face-to-face with himself.

Okay, now ah know I’m dreamin. Other Big Mac walked toward him. Big Macintosh didn’t try to talk to him, for he knew what this was. He was reliving a memory.

To prove his suspicion, Other Big Mac walked right through him, bearing no solidity. Big Mac watched him walking off. Ah guess I’m supposed ta follow `em, he thought to himself. So he did. He followed him for a couple miles.

By the time they reached the town, the dusk had broken, and the moon began its ascent into the sky. Other Big Mac approached sugarcube corner and walked inside. A sinking feeling washed over Big Mac as realization hit him. This is the night when Pinkie Pie… He didn’t want to relive this moment, but he knew he had to. He knew he couldn’t wake up from his nightmare until he saw what he was supposed to see.

He followed his doppelganger inside. Once inside, he sat in the corner and watched as the events unfolded.

“You came! You came!” Pinkie Pie jumped at him from behind the counter, her excitement and joy reaching its boiling point as she embraced her new close friend in a close, and very personal hug. Big Mac had remembered thinking how indicative it seemed, and how he’d reminded himself that it’s in Pinkie’s nature to push the boundaries of personal space. “I missed you! I’m so happy you came! Yay! Are you happy to see me, too?!”

“Eeyup”, spoke his doppelganger.

Pinkie smiled, admiringly, at him. “That’s one of the things I just LOVE about you, Macky! You’re SUCH a good listener!” Other Big Mac smiled and nodded at her, waiting for her to continue. “well”, she said, revealing more of her vulnerable state. “I’m… not doing too well. I’ve been so lonely.” Other Big Mac looked, sympathetically at her. A mild smile crept on her face. “Hey, you wanna see something, neat?”

“… Eeyup”. He had been curious. He had expected something random and over the top, but it wasn’t that way at all. Big Mac stood up and followed Pinkie and Other Big Mac to Pinkie’s room in the attic. There, Pinkie led him to the shuttered window above her bed and opened it. There was a small wooden staircase leading to the rooftop. The two, as well as their invisible guest, made their way up and sat on the apex of Sugarcube Corner’s roof. Pinkie sat very close to Other Big Mac, while real Big Mac sat, unnoticed, behind them.

“The stars look so beautiful from up here, don’t they?”

“Eeyup”. Pinkie looked at him and smiled, brightly, for a moment, only to fade as her thoughts festered.

“I don’t know what’s going on, Macky. Nopony wants to be my friend aymore. Everypony hates me…” Her face had been hidden behind her straight, long hair, but he could tell by her shaking voice that she was fighting tears. “I don’t know what I did, wrong”, she sniffled. “I just want things to go back to normal. Everything’s fallen apart…” She started crying. She had looked so scared and alone. He remembered wanting to console her, and wishing that Cheerilee had been there to say something to her.

He watched as Other Big Mac put his hoof around her shoulder with the intent of a non-embracive hug. As soon as Pinkie had felt that contact, She embraced him, fully. She scooted closer, breaking all space between them. She wrapped her hooves around him and rested her head on his shoulder. She cried, soundlessly as she sat in his embrace. He watched Other Big Mac wrap his other hoof around her, and together, they sat on the roof and stared at the stars for an entire hour. She would talk about her friends every few minutes, and he would listen. The tears stopped after a few minutes. She let herself be lost in the moment.

Eventually, Big Mac had decided he needed to go home. He wasn’t good at keeping his cool in situations like that, so he nodded his head at Pinkie, who seeming to understand, broke off her embrace. Other Big Mac stood up, but Pinkie remained seated, staring straight down. He remembered how awkward he felt. He didn’t want to leave, but he was very confused by the way she was acting. After a moment of his mind fighting with itself, Other Big Mac walked toward the steps and descended to the attic.

Big Mac didn’t stand to follow him. He knew what was going to happen. He watched as his doppelganger walked out of the building from down below and started home. Pinkie Pie stood and walked, sheepishly, down to her attic-bedroom. Still, Big Mac remained seated on the roof. He knew what she was about to do, and he knew he couldn’t change what had already happened. He didn’t want to see it. He couldn’t bear to see it.

So he sat, motionless. Ponyville had been so silent and still, that night, he thought to himself. Kinda like the town, itself, was asleep. He waited for about forty-five minutes. Right on cue, Other Big Mac came trotting through Ponyville back to Pinkie’s place. He had come to a decision that he wasn’t going to leave Pinkie’s side, even if it did make him feel uncomfortable. He watched himself enter the front door.

Finally, big Mac stood up, and walked back down to the attic to relive one of his worst moments. He climbed in through the attic window, walked to the corner and sat.

“Pinkie Pie?” Other Big Mac was standing in her doorway, calling out to her. She appeared to be asleep. He started to walk off, but stopped. He had wanted to make sure she was okay. He walked toward her bed where she lied bundled up in her blanket. When he got a closer look at her, he became worried. Her face was paler than he’d ever seen it. Her breathing was shallow and rapid, and her body was covered in cold sweat. Her eyes were wide open, but she was unresponsive. She didn’t even notice him standing over her.

“Pinkie Pie!? Pinkie! Can ya hear me?” She didn’t respond. He nudged her with his snout, and as he did, he heard a clacking as something fell off her bed onto the floor. It was an unlabeled pill bottle. Big Mac was already in tears, as he watched, helplessly, from the side. He remembered the shock as cruel realization clawed at his consciousness. Other Big Mac swiftly pulled her blanket off her to find three more empty pill bottles lying next to her. "No, Pinkie! Please don’t let this be happenin!”

He shook her, violently, his mind and body in full panick mode. “Pinkie! PINKIE!”

She responded with naught but a soft gurgle. Her pupils were fully dilated. “DAMMIT”, he spat. “whu`do ah do, now?!” He scooped her onto his back and broke for the stairs. Big Mac followed him out as they sprinted for the hospital.

Once they reached it, Other Big Mac Carried Pinkie inside, letting the door shut behind him. Big Mac followed them in, only to find an empty white corridor. He wiped his tears away. Stallions never cry...

He glanced around, and after far too long, he finally realized he wasn’t standing in Ponyville’s hospital. He was standing in the beginning of an endless hallway. He was back in his demon’s domain. He turned to leave as quickly as he could, only to bruise his nose against the splintered wooden door that blocked his way out. It was chained and covered in padlocks. He was trapped.

Stay calm, now. I’m gonna wake up ANY second, now! Or so he hoped. He started walking forward down the hall. Every step he took, the scenery morphed further into the burnt, rusted hell as it was, before. The same bio-stalactites descended from the ceiling, and the ringing he’d heard before chimed in, once again.

Pixie must be waitin for me. I know she’s watchin me. He wasn’t in the mood to face her. He was still shaken up about what had happened to Pinkie Pie. “To hell with ya”, he said, submissively. He sat down and stared straight forward. He stayed motionless, waiting for something to happen. Anything. He just wanted to wake up.

“So, I see you finally understand.” Her voice had returned to her honey-sweet persona. She spoke from directly behind him, but Big Mac remained looking straight forward.

“Eeyup”, he said.

“Running is futile, sweetie. I’m always going to be around.”

“Ah know.” He said, turning around to look at her. “Ah give. Just tell me what ya want so I can be on mah way.” She giggled, innocently.

“Dear, Big Mac, I’m so glad you’re finally cooperating. All I want you to do…” The ringing, once again, grew louder. She transformed back into her demon-state and glared at him with her glowing red eyes. “…Is SUFFER!” She raised her bloody hoof, revealing a long, serrated, stainless steel surgical knife with the remnants of fresh blood dripping from it.

She lept at him with inpony speed, but he had already taken off down the hall, avoiding her unforgiving blade by a mere whisker. He ran as fast as he could, maybe even a little faster. Though he thought he had left her in the dust, a quick glance back showed him that she was on his tail, and catching up, quickly. She ran on her hind-legs, standing perfectly up-right. He tried to run faster, but his body just wasn’t capable. He looked forward again just in time to see the hall turning at a right angle. He turned his body sideways and skud until his side hit hard into the wall, then galloped forward, hoping the blunder hadn’t lost him too much distance on her.

He continued to run down the narrow corridor for several minutes. He ran until his body screamed at him to stop. As fast as she was movin, how’d she not git me by now? He stopped and turned around, seeing a long stretch of hallway disappear into darkness. “… Huh…” He turned to walk forward, again, but doubled over, backward, when standing there in front of him on her hind-legs, was the demon, Pixie. Still up on her hind legs, she pointed her knife to the heavens, ready to strike. Her demented smile seemed to wrap around itself as her lips twisted in delight. Her eyes cried for bloodshed.

He had no options left. There was nowhere to run. He just watched her as she swung.

Mere inches before her knife made contact with his neck, she dissipated in a puff of smoke, just as she had, before. Big Mac blinked. Trying to keep up with the crazy world he was in was proving to be too much strain on his mind. Instead, he sat motionless and watched, patiently waiting to see what was going to happen, next. The hallways vanished in a split second, leaving him spiraling in darkness.

Ah think I’m startin ta get pretty tired o` this, he thought to himself. One thing right after the other. The moon flickered on, above, as though somepony had flipped a light switch. The lunar glow revealed a wide field surrounded by breathtaking mountainous forests. The stars started to appear in the sky; at first, one-by-one, followed by thousands all at once. The beautiful glow reflected off the dew-heavy grass, casting a silver reflection.

He heard approaching hoofsteps from his left. He looked up to find none other than Princess Luna walking calmly toward him. “Hello, big Macintosh”, she said as she came to a halt in front of him.

“Princess Luna?! What’s goin on here? Why are ya here?”

“It’s my duty to come into your dreams.”

Big Mac sighed in relief. “So ah actually AM dreamin? But it’s been so real. So vivid.” He looked down, letting the stress and heartache he’d been experiencing all night be evident. “And that mare… She’s gone, now?”

“For now, Big Macintosh, but I fear you will see her, again.” She finished her sentance with an expression of concern.

“But I was dreamin. Doesn’t that make `er fake?”

“Yes and no”, she answered. “You see, Pixie is not a physical being, and nopony but you can see her. However, you created her. You gave her life. Pixie is a ponyification of your feelings of guilt. Until you solve this, she will continue to stalk your dreams.”

He pondered for a moment. “Can she hurt me?”

“Not physically. But if you don’t confront your guilt and put it to rest, she WILL drive you mad making you constaintly relive your most painful memories.”

“How do ah stop `er?”

“You must accept your past as is, and you must make amends.”

“Ah can’t. Ah don’t know how ta get home.”

“No? Have you lost your way?”

Big Mac felt a glimmer of hope awaken in his heart. She can send somepony ta help me! He opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by a fierce, spiraling wind. “What’s happenin?!”

“You are waking up, Big Macintosh. Your dream is drawing to a close.”

“But ah still have so much to talk with ya, `bout!” She looked at him apologetically as she began to rise into the sky. “Princess Luna! WAIT!” His pleading failed to hinder her exit from his dream-world. He watched helplessly as all his answers and solvation were whisked away into the night. He shouted in frustration as the hope he’d felt was ripped out of him by the cold, clammy paws of misfortune.

“WHERE’S TWILIGHT?!”

He was blinded by a powerful light. He felt the pain of being crushed and broken return to him. He was waking up.

Formerly Friends

Big Macintosh’s eyes shot open. He felt highly disoriented. It took him some time to figure out where he was and what

was going on. He looked around blankly, his mind struggling to reboot after his violent sleep.

Night had fallen. The sun had been so cruel before day’s leave, but now, the night air cooled the land, and the moon shone brightly in the sky.

The moon… Princess Luna!

“Dammit!” His scream of frustrated failure bellowed through the field outside of the trench he’d earlier climbed out of. She was right there! I coulda been rescued! Why’d I have ta wake up?! He wanted so badly to be finished with his struggles. It seemed, however, that he had much time before he would be done with his misadventure. With his previous hope of rescue gone, he would have to find a way to drag his heavily battered body back to civilization.

His nose scrunched as he struggled to remember his drunken journey. Ah musta gone `bout seven miles or so before ah got hurt, he thought to himself. Not too tough a walk, but it’ll be miserable tryin ta get back in the shape I’m in.

His stomach growled angrily in hunger. Welp, I’d better get movin before ah starve ta death. He tried to stand, but couldn’t lift himself more than an inch before falling back to the ground in failure. He sighed.

Least I’m in a better situation than I was a few hours ago. He glanced back into the rocky chasm. Darkness so thick it seemed to leak out from within tested his bravery. Though Big Macintosh wasn’t a pony to be easily intimidated, especially by something as harmless as darkness, he couldn’t fight the terror that engulfed his soul and tested his nerves as he stared inside. Images of Pixie were sharp and vivid in his mind.

He looked away. He wasn’t going to allow himself to be distracted. He needed to get home. He needed to fix things. I got ta make things right… somehow.

With a huff, he began dragging himself through the dirt of the trail he’d taken to get there the previous day. It ran on beside the mountain for clear over a mile. In the distance, he could see it bearing to the left and dissecting a seemingly-endless field in two.

He continued at a sluggish pace down the trail. He could hardly move his hind legs anymore, leaving his front legs his only means of movement. His ribs would crack every time he pulled himself forward, sending fire throughout the inside of his back and chest. Already it was proving to be a miserable Journey for the stallion, and he hadn’t gone more than a few yards. His coat was so riddled with filth that the dark red shade it once was had been replaced with a gritty grayish-brown. His face was smudged with dirt as well, and his mane was frazzled and unkempt. Rebellious strands of hair decided to ignore the rules of gravity.

Dried blood made the fur under his nose and around his mouth hard and rigid. His back and hind-quarters were covered in cuts and scrapes from the rockslide, and his tail looked like the bristles of a witch-pony’s broom.

Tears began to flow from Big Mac. He wasn’t sad. He wasn’t angry. He wasn’t breaking down and losing control of his emotions. He just felt helpless. Everything that had happened to him the past few days had him shaken up. Normally a tall, strong, and independent pony, he now crawled through the dirt, too weak to stand. He was in such a fragile state; any predator could pick him off with ease. Worst of all, his friends and family needed him more than ever before, but he couldn’t be there for them.

Can ah even call mahself a friend? Can ah call mahself a brother, even? He felt as though he’d let down so many ponies.

With several miles left to go, he allowed the sour memories of his past to replay in his head.

***

“She still hasn’t responded. I don’t get it, Rarity. She told me she loved me! She said I was like a brother to her. How can she just ignore me? How can she ignore US?!” Spike’s voice trembled as his final syllable left his mouth. He looked down at the ground in obvious frustration. “I don’t believe this. I KNOW Twilight. I know her better than anypony! She’d never forget her friends! She must be in trouble! Rarity, can we pleeeeease go to the castle, again?”

Rarity set her hairbrush on her makeup table and sighed. She knew how much trouble Twilight’s absence would bring Spike, and she tried to convince herself she was ready for it, but the sight of the tiny dragon’s broken heart tested her emotional control. It was quite stressful for her seeing her now-closest-friend going through so much pain. She wanted to tell Spike that it was a lost cause, for she truly believed it was. She just didn’t have it in her to tell him that his closest friend and only family left him behind and forgot about him.

“Spike, dearest”, she said empathetically after a brief hesitation. “I would love to take you to Canterlot to see her, but I have far too many projects to complete, right now. Besides, I highly doubt the guards would simply let us waltz on through. You remember how rude they were last time, don’t you?”

She glanced in her heart-shaped mirror to spot his let-down reaction. Spike had been having episodes of Twilight-withdrawal every few days or so since she’d left. Rarity had never seen such a loyal companion in all her days. Spike would give anything for Twilight, even his own life, and all she’d ever have to do is ask. She’d tried to console him several times, but it only led to Spike trying harder to get in touch with her. Rarity found that assigning him with small tasks helped him to get his mind off his troubles, and he’d usually perk right up.

“Spike, dear, you simply must get your mind off of Twilight for a while. Don’t you see you’re tearing yourself apart?” Spike responded only with a lame shrug. Rarity turned to look at the dragon in the eye. He always seemed to lighten up a bit when she gave him some kind of personal connection. “Spiiikeyy, I’m hungry. I don’t suppose you’d want to whip up a couple eggs and have breakfast with me, would you?” She finished with the cutest pouty lip she could muster.

As always, Spike agreed, nodding at her in his mesmerized state. “Anything for you, Rarity.” He merrily skipped toward the kitchen when the front door slammed open, causing a rack of dresses to fall to the floor. The pony and the dragon whipped their heads around to identify the violently interrupting mare. Applejack dashed inside toward Rarity.

Rarity was speechless. She hadn’t even heard from any of her other friends for quite some time. Applejack’s presence, as well as her sudden brashness, was quite a shock.

“My word! What has gotten into you, Applejack?!” Applejack barely waited for her to finish before replying in a rushed manor.

“It’s Pinkie Pie!” Rarity just now noticed that the orange mare’s cheeks were dark red. She looked as though she’d been crying.

“Oh my goodness, is everything alright, dear?” Even though the group had fallen apart, she felt worry and fear boiling within her as she looked into her old friend’s eyes.

“Pinkie’s in the hospital! Sumthin terrible’s happened!” Rarity and Spike exchanged worried glances and, in unison, returned their gazes to Applejack. “The girls `er all there. Come on, she needs us, right now!”

Rarity’s mind was flipping through hoops. A title wave of mixed concern and confusion washed over her. What in Equestria is going on? After months of not speaking and now THIS? And what’s wrong with Pinkie Pie? Rarity was heavily conflicted. She didn’t understand what was going on. She did know one thing, though. Pinkie Pie was in trouble, and she had to get there by her side.

Feeling as though something had reawakened within her, she nodded at Spike, who climbed on her back. The three took off, exiting the boutique and sprinting through Ponyville. Ponies going about their days watched them in surprise and confusion as they raced toward the hospital. Their stares didn’t linger very long, however, because unlike them, they were completely unaware of a tragedy taking place.

The run seemed to last for a long time, but eventually they made it. Once inside, Applejack trotted past the lobby down the hall, looking back and thrusting her nose in front of her, indicating that Rarity should follow. The receptionist nodded from behind her desk in approval. Rarity followed. Spike leaned forward on her in nervous anticipation. She could feel his heart beating faster as his chest rested on her nape.

Applejack turned a corner and entered a set of double-doors with a lit sign above reading, 'INTENSIVE CARE'. Rarity’s eyes lit up as she saw it. Her heart-rate accelerated through the roof. She could feel tears trying to force their way out. She ran to catch up with Applejack. Together, the three entered the first door on the left labeled, “IC102”. If Rarity hadn’t been confused enough, already, the next sight she ingested did it, for sure.

Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were standing on either side of Big Macintosh, rubbing his back. They appeared as though they were trying to console him. Cheerilee stood in the corner of the room watching, helplessly. Big Mac was sitting next to a bulky hospital bed staring straight down with a look of deep shame and great loss. He looked as though his soul had been shattered to pieces. Lying disturbingly motionless on the wide hospital bed in front of him was Pinkie Pie. She bore a respirator that breathed for her. She had an IV sticking out of her left foreleg. There were about a dozen electric wires attached to small suction cups placed miscellaneously over Pinkie’s body. The other end of the wires connected to a heart monitor, which flooded the room with the rhythmic beat of Pinkie Pie’s heart.

Rarity was stunned. Both hers and Spike’s jaws hung limply as they absorbed the drama of the scene they had walked in on. She Spotted Applejacks eye on her from her peripherals.

“Oh my lord, Applejack! What in Equestria happened?!” Rarity was ready to lose her composure. The fear of losing a loved one she’d ignored so crudely viciously violated her conscience, and the thought of losing her without getting to say she was sorry was threatening to force tears out.

Big Macintosh sniffled loudly as she finished her question. “AH DID THIS”, he shouted. “It’s all mah fault! It was me. It’s mah fault…”

The sudden outburst startled her. She looked back at applejack to inquire. “Ah don’t know, sugarcube. That’s all he’s been sayin since ah showed up. He can’t seem ta spit it out.” Big Mac continued to stare at the floor beside his fallen comrade.

“S… so…”, Rarity stuttered. “What happened?”

Applejack looked away from rarity and squeezed her eyes shut. It appeared as though Applejack couldn’t force herself to get it out. Rarity had sympathy for her friend, but her growing confusion made her fear grow more and more. She stared at Applejack intently until Cheerilee intervened.

“Rarity”, she started as she approached the beautiful white mare. “Pinkie Pie… Pinkie attempted suicide late last night.”

“Whaaat?” Rarity was speechless. Her eyes opened wide and her jaw hung in astonishment. She could feel Spike’s small, warm claw rubbing her neck, trying to keep her calm.

“I’m so sorry, dear”, Cheerilee continued, sympathetically. “I had gone to Apple Acres to find Big Macintosh, but he wasn’t there. While I was having a conversation with Applejack, Derpy flew in and delivered a letter from the hospital, telling us they were here.”

Applejack was starting to cry. It was becoming ever more apparent that everypony else was just as confused as Rarity.

“But”, Rarity said, hushing her tone, slightly. “How did she do it?” She couldn’t help but notice that Pinkie didn’t have any visible scars or bruises.

Cheerilee hesitated. “well… um… you see…” She just couldn’t seem to find the words.

Rainbow Dash left her place beside Big Mac and approached them, as well. Rarity felt a combination of satisfaction and unease. Rainbow Dash was always direct. Sometimes, however, she was too direct.

“She overdosed”, Rainbow said, flatly.

Rarity could feel her heart sinking. “Overdosed? What did she overdose on?”

Rainbow began to tremble. She valued herself a strong, invincible pony, and she could never let her tears be shown. Rarity definitely spotted that she was struggling, though, so she didn’t push. Instead, she waited patiently, trying to give her a reassuring look.

“The doctors don’t know, but they think it was a heart medication. Pinkie is suffering from heart and liver failure.” Rainbow’s unemotional and unusually factual tone made Rarity’s concern skyrocket. It was too out of her character. She’d never seen rainbow quite like that, before.

“… How much did she take?” Rarity was unsure she even wanted to know, but her concern was too great to not ask.

“Four bottles full, okay?! Jeez, how many times are we going to have to go over this, today? Are you up to speed, yet, Rarity?! Huh?!” At this, Rainbow broke down. She cried so hard that the strength in her legs seemed to vanish. She fell to the floor and wept, the sorrow too much for her to handle.

Rarity should have known Rainbow might react like this. Rainbow Dash, The Loyal. She would have traded places with Pinkie Pie in a heart-beat. Rarity recalled how close Rainbow and Pinkie had become after several prank-pulling fiascos. Together, the two mares had spread good-humored ribbing throughout ponyville, bonding closer than any of the others had. There was something more, though. Rainbow didn’t look at Pinkie like a concerned friend. She glanced at her in a way that was more loving. Rarity didn’t want to jump to conclusions, but she suspected that there was something there, and the way rainbow was falling apart expressed more intensity and passion than Rarity realized Rainbow was capable of.

Rarity knelt down to embrace rainbow in a loving hug, but rainbow shoved her away with startling aggression.

“Back off!” Rainbow Dash shouted loudly enough to startle everypony in the room. All but Big Mac, that is. There were a couple orderlies that peaked around the corner through the door to see what was going on.

Rainbow Dash stood up and continued. “You’ve been gone, Rarity! It’s not some big secret that NONE of us are even FRIENDS anymore! You’re not going to just waltz up in here and expect our old relationships to just carry on as if nothing had even happened!” She started pacing back and forth carrying a deep scowl. Her flowing tears disappeared behind her bared teeth. “Why are you even here? Why are any of us besides Big Macintosh and Cheerilee here? Those are Pinkie’s friends, now! We abandoned her, and we abandoned each other!”

“I’VE HAD ENOUGH!” Big Macintosh’s ferocious growl startled everypony back into reality. After such silence, nopony expected him to chime in. Fluttershy, who had still been rubbing his back to console him, let out a high-pitched squeal as his bark caused her to jump several inches into the air.

“Y’all abandoned each other! Not a single one of ya even DESERVE ta be here bah Pinkie’s side! Why don’t y’all stop talkin `bout it and just LEAVE!?”

“Excuse me”, one of the orderlies chimed in. The two ponies that had been peeking around the corner had entered the room and approached the heated situation. The orderly continued. “This is a hospital. I don’t know what this dispute is about, but you’ll have to take it outside!” He ended his order with finality.

Rainbow Dash looked shocked. “What?! But we’re Pinkie’s friends! You can’t just kick us out! Please, don’t make me leave her…”, Rainbow Dash exclaimed. The orderly who’d given the order to leave looked unfaltered, however, his female counterpart expressed a different sensitivity toward the friends.

“I’m very sorry, darling, but we’ve already been given our orders to ask you to leave. You can come back and visit tomorrow, if you’d like. So long as you keep your voices down.”

Rainbow Dash looked at the ground and sighed in defeat. One by one, the ponies in the room left Pinkie’s side to rendezvous in the lobby.

Rarity sat in the corner, motionlessly staring at Pinkie Pie. How can this be happening, she thought to herself. Everything was so normal, yesterday, and now it seems as if the world is falling apart. All other ponies had left the room besides rarity and her faithful dragon-friend. The orderlies looked at her expectantly.

She glanced it Pinkie once more before taking her leave. Pinkie, darling, I’m so, so sorry… Rarity turned and walked out the room, trying desperately not to glance back, again.

She walked down the hall, making her way back to the lobby at a turtle’s pace.

“Are you okay, Rarity?” Spike expressed deep concern in his voice.

“I don’t know, Spikey. This is all so confusing. I still feel… quite shocked.” Spike leaned forward and gave Rarity a warm, compassionate hug around her neck. She only stopped for a moment to take warmth in the embrace, and then picked up her pace toward the lobby.

Once she turned the last corner into the lobby, the arguing picked right back up where it had left off. Rainbow Dash spoke up, first.

“This is all YOUR fault!” She pointed an accusing hoof at Big Macintosh, who only scowled. “You just couldn’t keep your big yap shut, could you?!” She snorted out her nose in frustration. Rarity couldn’t say she was surprised by her. Rainbow always had been rowdy. Of all the ponies to be caught in such a dispute, however, Big Macintosh was the last possible pony Rarity would ever expect.

“I’m not gonna sit here and listen ta this”, Big Mac said, firmly. He turned to walk away, but was met by Rainbow Dash, who had flown around him in an attempt to block his exit.

“Oh no you don’t”, she said. ”You don’t get to just walk off like that! You answer me! What’s your problem, huh?! What’d you do to Pinkie Pie?!”

Big Mac’s nostrils flared. His eyes burst open wide, and his brow lowered. He was obviously livid. Rainbow Dash sunk to the floor and hunched down, for she knew she’d made a big mistake. Big Macintosh was a huge stallion, and his anger was unsettling.

“Rainbow…”, he started. “Ya think yer the only pony that matters don’t ya?! This may come as a shock to ya, but yer NOT the most important pony in Equestria! So why don’t ya step off your high pedestal before ya really start PISSIN me OFF!?”

His voice was booming. Rainbow tried not to look intimidated, but it was hard to look fearless while crouched low on shaking legs. Applejack decided to step in.

“Now ya just hold on there, mister!” Her voice was more aggressive than it was defensive. Rarity cringed. She knew Applejack was only going to stir the pot. She continued. “Ya remember gvin me that ‘lecture’ on friends? Well, look at ya, now! Yer sittin here screamin at our friends! I knew ya didn’t know what ya were talkin bout! Ya OBVIOUSLY weren’t much more help ta Pinkie than I was!”

“Ya shut yer filthy lilpie hole!” Big Macintosh had lost it. His anger exploded, violently, causing the mares to quake before him. “Y’all lil floozies think yer SO special?! Ya wanna know what AH did ta Pinkie?! FINE! I’ll tell ya! I tried to console er. She did this cuzer FRIENDS abandoned `er! This is ALL YOUR FAULTS! That’s why none of ya deserve to be here! Y’all are murderers! Ya hear?! Every last one of ya!”

He breathed heavily as he finished his grilling. He expected a battle, but to his surprise, nopony rebutted. Applejack stared her big brother down for a long moment. Her expression was unreadable. Then, her lips started to tremble, and a tear began to escape her eye. She hid her face behind the brim of her country-mare hat. Without another word, she left the hospital with her head hung low in shame and betrayal.

All else stared, shocked at the aggressive stallion. Nopony knew what to say to diffuse the situation. Rainbow Dash looked around awkwardly then followed Applejack out without a word. Rarity didn’t know what to say, so she only watched the scene in astonishment. Spike had hopped off of her back and now stood in front of her, as if to defend her if the stallion grew any more aggressive.

Cheerilee, who had been very silent up till this point, stepped forward to confront him. Cheerilee was closest to Big Macintosh, so if anypony knew what to say to defuse him, it was her.

“Big Macintosh!” Her raised voice was surprising. She was generally calm and peaceful. “I’m surprised at you! I don’t know what’s gotten into you, lately, but this isn’t like you, at all! What happened to Pinkie Pie was not your fault, but it’s not right of you to put the blame on your sister or your friends. I… I have a lot to think about.”

Big Mac shook his head as if waking from a trance.

“Wait, what are ya sayin, Cheerilee?”

She looked at him with disappointment. “Big Macintosh, I don’t know if I feel comfortable spending my days with a stallion who treats his friends and family with such little regard.”

“But…” Big Mac struggled to find words. “Are ya sayin ya don’t wanna be mah friend, anymore?”

Cheerilee thought deeply for a moment before she responded. “I just need time to think.” Just as the two mares before her had, she hung her head low and took her exit.

Now, it was Fluttershy’s turn. She went to walk out the door, but she first stopped and looked Big Macintosh in the eye. Fluttershy approached him, shyly, leaned in very close to him, and whispered something in his ear. Rarity didn’t know what she said, but whatever it was seemed to really surprise him. He looked at her in mild confusion. She looked away shyly and took her leave, leaving only Big Mac, Rarity, and Spike left in the lobby.

Rarity let her mind work for a moment before she made an action.

I never was particularly close with Big Macintosh, but he really seems like he needs a friend, right now. Could I say something to him without triggering another episode, though? She pondered for a moment. I suppose it’s worth a shot. How else am I going to find out what’s going on, here?

“Spike, my dear”, Rarity said. “Could you be so kind as to wait for me outside?” Spike turned to look at her. His expression carried worry and surprise.

“But Rarity! I don’t want to leave you. What if he gets mad again?” Big Macintosh looked away from the two, seeming to feel shame at what he’d done.

“Don’t worry Spikey”, said Rarity. “ I’ll be outside to meet you in five minutes.” Spike looked at her questioningly, but eventually nodded and walked out the lobby doors, submissively.

Big Macintosh focused his gaze on Rarity, having no idea if she was about to talk to him, or grill him, heatedly for treating his friends so poorly. Rarity walked up to him, stopping and sitting in front of him when she was mere inches away. She pointed her nose at the floor and then looked back up at Big Mac. He obliged and took a seat.

“Big Mac, Deary, you know I consider you a friend, yes?” Big Macintosh nodded at her in response. “Good. Now, as your friend, I see that you’re going through a very difficult time. This simply isn’t like you, darling. So what on earth has gotten into you?”

Big Mac didn’t say anything. He shook his head as if to say he didn’t feel comfortable talking about it. Rarity, however, persisted.

“Come now, Big Macintosh, you’re never going to feel better until you get this off your chest, whatever it may be.” Big Mac nodded his head. It took several moments, but he finally opened his mouth to speak.

“Ah feel like this is all mah fault. Pinkie did this cuz ah left er, last night. Thing’save been rough all over since Twilight left. Ah never woulda knew her leavin would destroy everypony like this…” He trailed off.

Rarity couldn’t help but feel guilty. She had never made an effort to keep the group together. She had abandoned Pinkie Pie just like the rest had. She was partially responsible for what was happening to her friends.

“Big Mac… I’m sorry. You’re absolutely right. We never should have let this come between us. We weren’t there, before, but now we can be. We all know what we did wrong, so we can make sure we stick together and do what we can to help Pinkie, now.” Big Mac looked unappeased. “I hope you at least know that no matter what, you don’t have to go through this alone. You just need to reach out. I promise you, there will always be somepony reaching back.”

Big Macintosh remained silent, but Rarity could tell that he was pondering her words. I think that’s about all I can really offer in this situation, anyhow, she decided. She stood up and gave Big Mac a friend-to-friend kiss on the cheek, and exited the hospital.

A "Darshe" of Hope

Big Macintosh was feeling overwhelmed. His ambition toward getting home was fading, rapidly. Though determined to reunite with his friends and family, his fear of rejection, as well as his fear of dying before he made it, was starting to get the best of him. After everything he’d been through, all he wanted was to return to his loving family and caring friends.

Images played through his mind of crawling through the gate of his orchard home. Applejack would be the first to notice her injured brother. He could see her tending to her chores and looking up just in time to spot him dragging himself through the dirt. She’d come galloping over to him and embrace him in a close, loving hug. Applebloom danced through his mind’s eye, as well, dashing to meet them and throwing her hooves around them both. Eventually, Granny Apple would hobble on over and join in the family reunion, as well.

He saw himself lying in a hospital bed, well on his way to a full recovery. Everypony he held dear would come to visit him, every day. He saw Rarity’s compassionate gaze. He could see Rainbow Dash’s fiery stare, Fluttershy’s sweet and empathetic smile, and even Pinkie’s ecstatic grin. Spike would take his post up on Rarity’s back, just as he always did, wearing a goofy and innocent child-like smile.

A smile crept upon Big Macintosh’s face as he fantasized his hero’s welcome. As he delved deeper into his mind’s illusions, the pictures become sharper and more vivid. All the ponies he cared for most surrounded him.

Now, he could see another pony entering the room. It was a mare. She was purple in color, and looked to be a Pegasus. Not a Pegasus... She bore a tall, proud horn over her brow. An Alicorn.

His mind’s eye portrayed Twilight Sparkle entering his hospital room with a strained, sympathetic smile. It wasn’t the kind of sympathy one would feel for a young foal who’d just dropped their cold, delicious, and refreshing scoop of ice cream off of their cone and onto the dirty ground. It looked more to be the look of disgusted, slightly humoured pity as one watched a pig roll around in its own fecal matter. The crudely patronizing expression did not much suit her.

The friends broke off their interest in Big Mac and immediately launched themselves at the long-absent pony. They held her close in their embraces. All backs had turned on him. Twilight was the only pony that faced him, now. Big Macintosh found himself staring at her in astonishment.

She looked up to make eye contact with Big Mac, and when their eyes locked, he could feel goose bumps surfacing on his nape. He could feel ice-cold chills run up and down his spine. A burning anxiety erupted in his stomach, making his insides twist in revolt. He could feel something wrong. It wasn’t the twilight he’d remembered. There was something different about her. Something dark. Something… menacing….

Their gazes were locked onto one-another for several heartbeats. He saw a streak of red flash through her eyes. His eyes shot open in terror as realization stabbed at him. Twilight’s friends still embraced her, and didn’t seem to notice her transforming.

Her horn and wings simply faded into nothingness. Her snout came to a sharp point. Red streaks flowed down her now pink mane. The once beautiful purple coat faded to white. Blood began to flow from her hairline, covering her face. That demented grin he knew too well stared back at him.

Pixie shot Big Macintosh a pointy-toothed grin and winked at him, playfully.

“NO! Git the hell away from me!” His screams danced lackadaisically over the mountains before disappearing in the distance. Cold sweat filled the lines of his brow.

I’m fine, he thought to himself. She’s not real. Ah just imagined the whole thing. His personal reassurances did little to satisfy his fear. She was so real… Ah wasn’t even dreamin… Big Mac feared he was losing his grip on reality. Pixie so harshly and unexpectedly intruded on his thoughts. A simple fantasy, a foal-hearted daydream, and she appeared as real and horrifying as she had in his dream the day prior.

Am ah goin crazy? She seems way too real ta just be a dream. He thought he was safe from her as long as he was awake, but now, he started to doubt the sanctuary of his consciousness.

No use dwellin over it. Ah gotta get mah mind back on track. He looked behind him to see how much progress he’d made over the past two hours. The faint beams emanating from the moon highlighted the chasm he was stuck in, before. It lay only a half-mile behind him.

“Well aint that just peachy?” Feeling unimpressed, he let his body loosen up. His head dropped lamely to the ground as his muscles relaxed. The fear of mortality he’d been struggling with was attacking his mind in full force. He didn’t want to go back into shock, so with avid determination, he tried to fight it.

Ah just can’t believe what’s goin on… This wasn’t supposed ta happen. Not ta me! He began to envisage more vividly than he had before what his injuries must look like. His delusions showed him a broken spine. He could see internal bleeding, causing him to die slowly and painfully. He imagined his hind legs broken in several different places.

NO! I gotta stop this! Fear`ll only slow me down! Struggling to keep his sanity in check, he visualized the bravest and toughest pony he knew. A pony that would never panic over something as minor as a few broken bones and some blood. A pony that’s proven time and time again how you can overcome anything with the right bravery and determination. A pony everypony else respected and looked up to. An elegant blue mare that goes by the name of Rainbow Dash.

***

Rainbow Dash looked over Ponyville from a cliff far in the distance. The mighty structure stood a clear mile-and-a-half tall. Night had fallen long ago, and all she could make out from the town were several shimmering lights. She tried to picture them in her head; the ponies of Ponyville carrying on with their Daily lives as if nothing were wrong. The thought of them moving on so carelessly burned within her.

An illuminated red cross shown like a beacon. It was the only concrete shape she could see from the distance she stood. “Pinkie Pie…”, she spoke to nopony at all. She just spoke, perhaps thinking that somepony of some time and space might be able to hear her. Maybe she spoke to herself for closure. She wasn’t sure why she spoke, she’d just felt a dire need to let go.

“I’m… so sorry. This is all my fault…” A tear ran down her cheek, causing her to cringe at her own weakness. “I never told you… I wish I was braver. Now, you might die without ever knowing how I feel.” A cold wind blew, sending chills through her. Her mind was reeling to find an answer. Something that could give her perspective. All she could reflect on, however, were her fiery emotions. “You know, you were the only pony I could talk to that made me feel like I wasn’t alone. I…”, her voice began to crack and tremble.

Even if Pinkie miraculously came through, Twilight came back, and life went back to normal, her darkest secrets would always keep her from living a happy life. There was no way around it. Rainbow Dash wasn’t like other ponies, and she knew it. Rainbow knew what she needed to do. No matter what she said to anypony else, she held more fears in life than most mares could ever imagine.

“… I HATE BEING ALONE!” Tears erupted from her eyes. “I… I love you… Pinkie Pie. I’m so sorry!” She peered straight down to try and spot the unforgiving ground that lied over a mile below. She stood straight up on her hind legs with her front hooves out at her sides. Without another word, she leaned forward, diving head-first off the cliff.

The wind from the intense speed rippled through her beautiful rainbow-striped mane. Completely upside-down, she descended at incredible speed toward the ground. She’d forever lived with her head in the clouds. She only wanted something more stable. She wanted to be grounded.

She closed her eyes and allowed the sweet memories they shared to play through her mind. She remembered all the laughs they’d shared, together. Every time they’d hung out. She remembered spending an entire summer with Pinkie at the lake. They played in the water and lied together under the warm, comforting sun. A tent set up by the side provided them shelter throughout the nights.

Pinkie was always happy and never showed anypony else her sadness. There was one night during that summer in which she opened up to Rainbow Dash. Pinkie was shaking and sniffling in her sleep. Rainbow watched her for a moment, admiring her. Everything about her. She seemed to emit an aura that when within, she could feel joy and love blossoming inside her, as if her innards were a bouquet of sunflowers bursting with bright colors.

She had appeared to be in serious distress, though. Cautiously, Rainbow nudged her awake. In the blink of an eye, Pinkie jolted upright and looked around, wildly. Rainbow Dash assured her that she was the only pony there; that it was just the two of them. Much to her surprise, Pinkie Pie burst into tears and lunged at Rainbow, pulling her into her death-grip hug. They sat holding each other until the tears stopped. Rainbow had asked her what was wrong, but Pinkie only shrugged with a timid smile. “I guess I just scared myself”, she’d said. As they lied back down to sleep, Rainbow Dash felt Pinkie nudging closer. She put her hoof around her. Pinkie laid her head on rainbows shoulder. They fell asleep, lost in one-another’s embrace.

The scenery in her mind changed as more images penetrated her thoughts. She remembered the parties Pinkie always threw. She would throw slumber parties for all her friends. After a night full of festivities, Rainbow and Pinkie would always be the last two awake. Together, they’d sit on the roof of sugarcube corner, staring at the stars and talking. They’d talk the entire night through. They talked about all their hopes, dreams, passions, fears, their pasts, and anything else that’d popped into their heads.

“My foalhood was kinda boring, but it certainly wasn’t bad”, Pinkie had said one night. “I know I feel too emotional, sometimes, and sometimes I’m even a bit frail. But it’s only cuz I love my friends so much! I don’t know what I’d do without them!”

Rainbow had hesitated for a moment before looking at her. Pinkie was already looking back. “Do… do you love me, Pinkie?” Pinkie pie didn’t falter. She smiled warmly and nuzzled the side of her face into Rainbow’s chest.

“I especially love you, Dashie!”

Tears silently flowed from her gently closed eyes and disappeared into the night sky as she continued her decent. No matter what happened, I’m just… I’m just a friend. I’m just different. Mares are only supposed to love stallions. But I’m… I’m… DIFFERENT! I’m alone… I’m always going to be alone. After what happened to Pinkie, it’s all I deserve, anyway.

Rainbow Dash opened her eyes as much as she could despite the wind crudely stabbing them. The hard packed dirt of the ground below loomed ever closer. She’d expected it to feel different. She somehow thought that it would feel… more peaceful than it was. Her escape was nigh. The one safe haven from life was but a few more seconds away.

Peace did not, however, fill her mind. All she could see was Pinkie’s face, and the fear and pain of losing her was tearing her heart to shreds

Come on! Come on!

Finally, the ground had rushed up to meet her. Her falling had suddenly picked up speed. The ground jumped out at her, as if trying to meet her, half-way.

“DAMMIT!” Her scream was loud enough to be heard all throughout Ponyville. I can’t do it! Not a second too soon, her wings burst open, slowing her down just enough to adjust upright. She’d built up too much speed. With the mightiest flaps of her wings she could muster, she tried to halt herself before she fused with the ground thirty yards below.

It was useless; she’d already built up too much velocity. Forcing her body horizontal, she attempted to thrust herself forward. Now flying diagonally instead of falling straight down, she’d lost enough speed to survive the fall. She bent her knees upward, and then kicked at the ground to propel herself onward. CRUNCH! A snap erupted from her front-left ankle, sending needles up her entire leg. “AAAHHHHhhhh!” With an audible thud, she hit the ground and started rolling. She was so dazed at this point, she didn’t even feel her left wing crack. With one more kick from her hind-left leg, she shot herself into the air, only to be stabbed by a sharp pain in her wing. She tried desperately to regain control. She glided for what must have been about forty yards before losing it and colliding hard with a lone pony walking along an empty road.

“Gahh!” The deep, gravel-filled voice of the stallion she’d crashed into boomed off the mountains and bounced playfully through the trees. Together they rolled until being abruptly halted by a large rock sticking halfway out of the ground.

Pain was surging through her body like the very blood in her veins. Though Rainbow Dash was in a dark place, she was still one of the most competitive athletes in Ponyville, and she’d had her fair share of injuries. With the familiar liquid-fire sensation radiating from her wing, she knew right away that it was broken. She took a moment to herself to let her dizziness wear off before she realized she was lying on top of the stallion she’d just pulverized into the ground.

“Oh my gosh! Are you alri…” Her words crumbled before she’d communicated them. Her guilt and worry faded away when she saw Big Macintosh picking himself up off the ground.

“Eeyup”, he said with a grunt.

“Pfft, like I care if you’re okay!” It was a rather harsh introduction, though well within Rainbow Dash’s character. Her brashness that had saved her on countless occasions had often been the very catalyst of the dangers she’s faced.

“Oh no, Dashie, don’t ya dare start throwin them spiteful words at me. Yer the one that just come crashin outta the sky! What were ya doin, anyway?!” The question echoed in her head. A gruff frown carved in stone rested upon his face as he awaited her answer. She spotted something in him, then, that she’d never picked up on before. It was a certain rugged gruffness that indicated his history of hard farm work. The years of disciplined and tedious work left many lines in his face. This particular moment in time revealed much stress bearing down on him. She still, however, refused any thoughts of sympathy for him, for at this moment, he was her enemy.

Rainbow’s angry expression vanished as Big Macintosh threw the seemingly accusing question at her. I can’t just tell him what I was actually doing, she thought. His stare continued to pierce her fragile sense of self-confidence. Like he even cares, anyway. This ding-dong would probably believe any old story I throw at him. A light bulb blinked on in her mind.

“Well, Big Mac, if you must know, I was practicing a new move of mine.” Big Mac stared at her with disbelief.

“A new move, huh?” His tone reeked of thick sarcasm.

“YES”, Rainbow rebutted. “My… um…, my grand finale for a routine I’ve been working on!” His neutral expression remained unaffected. She felt proud of herself coming up with something so clever on the spot. She also couldn’t help but laugh inside her own head as she realized the irony in her statement. Grand Finale, indeed!

“Does that routine o` yers involve landin on yer face?”

She felt a surge of fresh anger jolt her. Rainbow was getting irritated. She could handle somepony calling her a liar or a secretive little floozy, but she couldn’t ever accept anypony taking a stab at her flying skills.

“You know what, Big Mac? Nopony asked you to share your opinion! Just leave me alone, okay?” She turned to walk away, but collapsed as the weight of her bruised body bore down on her snapped ankle. “Ouch!”

Rainbow couldn’t see him, as she had been facing away from him when she toppled over, but she could feel Big Macs judgmental eyes burning a hole in the back of her head. At least, that’s what she had imagined he was doing.

“Did ya hurt yerself, Rainbow Crash?” The immature mocking was a shamefully quick route to her temper. She wanted to get up, turn back around, and throw many colorful words at him that could make even the mighty and vulgar Iron Will gasp in shocked disgust. She fought it. Don’t let him get the best of you, Dashie! You’re stronger than this!

She turned her head to look at him. He was gazing at her in his unnervingly neutral manner. “Of course not! I’m Rainbow Dash! I’m the iron pony, for crying out loud! I don’t bruise that easily, you know!” Her words had come off more stand-offish than she’d intended, but she wasn’t going to go back on her story, now. Not wanting to show him any weakness, she stood, once more and began to limp off. Each step forced her molten pain to multiply. After only six struggled paces, she collapsed back onto the ground. She allowed a sigh to escape, signalling her defeat. Big Macintosh went on to speak, though his tone had softened, considerably.

“Yer wing is bleedin. It looks like yer ankle is mighty swollen, too”, he observed. “Come on, Dash, ah know we had our little fallout, but ya need ta get to a hospital. Come on, hop on mah back. I’ll take ya.” True and compassionate words spoken from a liar and a brute! She couldn’t allow herself to be carried like a baby. Especially from the pony she loathed over all others.

“Go to hell…”, she said, quietly. One final attempt to get back on her hooves, once again, resulted in her falling to the ground. This time, she couldn’t even take a single step. As her shock slowly wore off, the pain from her collision flowed to all the extremities of her body. She planted her face into the ground between her front legs, which sprawled out in front of her. He couldn’t see her crying.

“Uhhh, Rainbow, are ya comin with me `er not?”

“NO! No, I’m not coming with you! There is not a force in Equestria that will ever make me let you lay a hoof on me, you got that, bub?!” She all but spit fire as she spoke. She cocked her head back to view Big Mac’s response, who was quite surprised by her sudden emotional reaction.

“Come on, Rainbow”, he said after a brief silence. “Ah can’t just leave ya here…”

“Well, I’m not coming with you, so you just do what you have to do and I’ll do my thing!” Feeling satisfied that she had won the dispute, she lied her head back down between her front legs.

“Welp, ah guess ah got no choice, then”.

“No. No, you don’t”, Rainbow said.

“Ah gotta do what I gotta do while ya do yer thing”, Big Mac said, mockingly. “So I’m gonna stay here.” Rainbow looked back at him trying not to cringe as a fresh dosage of burning pain shot through her neck.

“But...! You can’t… just… fine. Whatever. Just don’t bother me.” She contemplated for a moment. She would be lying if she’d said she hadn’t partaken in one of her many poisons. She still felt the effects, and while she hadn’t planned on consuming more, these recent events suggested that she had no reason not to. “Well, as long as you’re here, why don’t you make yourself useful?” Big Mac cocked his head at her in confusion. “My saddlebags fell off during the fall. I’m not sure where they landed.” He continued to stare at her, blankly. “Sooo… go get them for me!”

Big Macintosh walked off without responding. He was gone for no more than three minutes before he trotted on back to Rainbow Dash. He walked around her and dropped the soaking wet saddle-bags in front of her. The jingling of broken glass sounded as the bags hit the ground.

”Hey, be careful with that! These are… important, okay?!” Oh, please be okay! At least tell me there’s one left! She pulled both flaps open with her teeth and peered inside. “Yes! Thank Celestia”, Rainbow exclaimed, excitedly. She Pulled out one brown-yellow bottle, followed by one more, and set it on the ground next to her. She then rolled onto her flank in an upright position and scooted back until she was leaning against a tree next to the path.

“What`re those?” Big Mac cocked his head as he inspected the bottles.

Rainbow looked at Big Mac in disbelief. “They’re bottles of apple-whiskey, you dufus! How do you not know this? You sell them on your farm!”

“well, ah… uh, ah never had whiskey, before.”

“You’re kidding me!” Rainbow had a hard time believing that a full-grown work stallion had never once had a drink in his life. “How have you never had a drink before? Especially considering your easy access! Why wouldn’t you even try a drink?”

Big Mac shuffled his hooves, uncomfortably. He had to clear his throat before speaking. As though trying to speak through a lump, he explained. “When ma and pa died, Applejack… she was still little, and Applebloom was just a baby foal. Ah had ta take care o` mah family. Ah never really had the time ta drink…”

Big Macintosh stared at the ground. She felt bad for bringing up such a sensitive subject. She was mocking him because she hated him, but at the topic of his family, his tough and gruff demeanor shriveled into a fragile and wounded state. She didn’t wish it, but she couldn’t shake her feelings of empathy for the stallion. I guess I have a little more to be thankful for than I thought…

“Big Mac, I… don’t just…” She sighed. “Come over here, guy”, she said with a faint half-smile, patting the ground next to her with her hoof. “Let me give you your first taste.”

Big Macintosh nodded at her, doing as was requested of him. He picked up the bottles she’d left in the road and joined her by the tree. He plopped down in front of her and laid the bottles at her hooves. She, then, picked one of the bottles up and unscrewed the cap.

“Are you ready for this? This is eighty-proof. It’s pretty strong stuff.” Big Macintosh stared at the bottle in amazement and nodded his head. “Alright”, Rainbow said, humored by his foalish wonder as he gazed at the bottle. “Just remember, you asked for it!” She gave up the bottle to Big Mac, who grabbed it with both front-hooves and took a large gulp.

“Blah!” He winced and started choking. His face contorted as if he’d just eaten a sour lemon.

“Bwahahaha! Come on, Macky, surely a big tough pony like you can handle a little whiskey! Or is it too strong for you?” Big Mac shot her a look of determination.

“Ah sure can handle it! Ah just… inhaled a little is all.” She raised an eyebrow and smirked at him, as if to say ‘prove it’. He lowered his brow, squeezed his eyes shut, and proceeded to chug the whiskey. Gulp after gulp, he scarfed down nearly half the bottle in less than a minute.

"Whoa, there, Big Mac”, Rainbow said. “Take it easy, guy, you’re going to get sick!” He ignored her and continued to drink. When two-thirds of the bottle had been emptied, he slammed it on the ground in front of him with medium force. He smiled at her. She looked at him, then at the near-empty bottle, then back at him.

“Well well well”, Big Mac said with a cool smugness. “look who can handle a…” His eyes rolled to the back of his head. He started teetering back and forth as a dizzy spell had spontaneously hit him.

“Uuhhh, are you okay, Big Mac?” Big Macintosh raised his front hoof as if to state something matter-of-factly, but as soon as he opened his mouth, he lost balance and fell backward onto the grass.

“Bwahaha!” Rainbow was hysterical. She laughed so hard it made her sides hurt.

“I’m fine! I’m awright! I’m awright!” He slowly eased himself back up, already drunk off his pony. “Awright, Ms. Crash! It’s-uh-yerrr-turrrn!” She silenced her laughing and smiled, looking down at the third-of-the-way full bottle.

“Well, I can’t let you get more drunk than me! Looks like I have some catching up to do!” Rainbow looked at Big Macintosh before she did. His demeanor had changed, drastically, and in little time. A confrontation started with much ferocity had mellowed and changed direction toward a drinking contest. She smiled at the thought. At least he’s not asking me anymore questions, she thought to herself.

She picked up the bottle and chugged the rest of it. Fire scorched her throat as the taste of apples and alcohol descended down her gullet. Once empty, she tossed the bottle into the bushes behind her, opened the second bottle, and chugged down half of it. She stopped drinking for a moment to catch her breath, and when she went to take another sip, she was interrupted by a loud hiccup.

“Hic!” The force of the hiccup made her jump off the ground, slightly. Now it was Big Mac’s turn to laugh. His deep throaty laugh made Rainbow laugh, more. Together they chuckled and snickered, drunk as two skunks. Big Mac reached for the bottle and took a small sip. He then offered it to Rainbow, indicating she should have a sip. She accepted.

“Big Mack, I have to say, I didn’t rerly like the way you yelleded at everypony, the other day”.

“Ah know. Ah`m sorree bout that. Why were yooouuu so mad about it, though? Ya were in mah face, like… real angry-like.”

She looked at him. “ Well, I’m Raaainbow Da.. hic!.. Dash! I’m one bad mare! I don’t.. hic!.. like feeling intimidated!”

“Ya felt intamerdated? Bah me?! Really?”

“Well… ye.. hic!..es! You’re, like, super big and stuff, and your voice is so deep and loud! I thought you were going to hit somepony! I was infur.. hic!..ur.. hic!.. iated!”

“Ah don’t think ah woulda hit anypawny. Ah was just sad bout Pankie Pie.”

“No! You don’t get to be sad about her! You.. hic!.. you don’t love her!”

Big Mac's gaze sharpened. “But, Ah wasn’t the only pawny that acted brashly. Ya had me stale-mated on that`un. Wher’d that even came from?”

Rainbow sat up straight and started inching closer to him, ignoring her injuries. “Because, Macky! I do love Pinkie.. hic!.. Pie!”

"Well, Dasher”, Big Mac said, “We all love Pankie.”

“No! Listen!.. Hic!.. Just listen! I am in love with Pinkie Pie!” Big Mac raised his eyebrows in slurred, slightly delayed shock. She didn’t care. After sucking down all that whiskey, she felt a certain courage fill her that she didn’t have, before. She still felt a need to let go.

“Wait… so… yer a lesbian?!”

“No!” Rainbow responded, over-defensively.

“But, ya jes said yare in love with er.” She didn’t answer. He decided to try and lighten her up a little with a soft joke. “It’s okay, Darshie”, he said. “Ah like all kindsh o beans! Baked beans, lima beans, Lez-beans…” He snickered at his own joke. He found it to be particularly hilarious. Rainbow, however, hadn’t granted him the reaction he was looking for.

She felt cornered, but her belligerent mind made her not care as much as she normally would about the topic. “Ya know what, Mac.. hic!... Macky? I am! I’m different! I wasn’t practicing! I was trying to.. hic!.. I was try.. hic!, I was.. hic! Ah, screw it!” She gave up. Though she felt a false courage to tell him everything despite her better judgement, she couldn’t get it out.

“Ya… tried ta kill yerself…” He looked down at the ground in sadness, then back up at her. “Ah thought that’s what ya mighta been doin, but ah derdn’t wanna say anythin...”

Rainbow closed her eyes and hung her head down. The misery she felt was too much for her to handle. The fresh dosage of embarrassment washing over her didn’t help much, either. “Nopony would like me, anymore if they knew who I truly was. And Pinkie will never feel the same way about me that I feel about her. I’m just… different… hic!”

“But Raimbow! Pinkie is…” He stopped before he finished his sentence. She looked at him, waiting eagerly for him to finish his sentence. He blinked at her, repeatedly, and looked around attempting to be smoothly inadvertent. He spotted the bottle in her hoof, snatched it, and began drinking in a hurried pace.

“No!” Too drunk to feel any pain, she pounced on him, her weight holding him down. She touched her snout to his and stared him down. “What were you.. hic!.. going to say?!”

“Raimbow, ah can’t! Ah promished her ah would never tell anypony!”

“I don’t care! You’re going to.. hic!.. tell me!”

“Ah can’t”, big Mac blubbered.

“Oh yes.. hic!.. you c.. hic! hic! hic!”

“Alright, alright! Pankie is differnt, too! Ah promished her ah wouldn’t say anythin, but ah can tell ya that if ya talk to `er bout it, you’ll probly find that her response wouldn’t be as bad as yall be thinkin! ” Rainbow’s jaw dropped to the ground. Her eyes shot open in surprise. “R.. really!?”

“Yup, she’s gut more in common with ya than ya might know. Ah hope yer happy! Ya jes made me break a pankie promishe!” Rainbow got off of Big Mac and scooted back to her tree. “After ah got caught at one oher parties, we got close an started seein each other, more often. We sat out on that ther roof `o hers and told me after she made me Pankie Promishe not ta tell nopony.” Rainbow felt like she’d been struck with the mighty hammer of truth. Big Macintosh's words were quite unexpected, especially in her current overly-emotional state, she couldn’t decide how to react. Her mind seemed to lose its ability to function.

Big Macintosh observed her reaction for a moment, then went on. “Now, Raimbow, ah know ya feel sad n what-not, but ya can’t keep hurtin yerself. This ought to be incentive enough, right ther. This is the second time this week somepawny tried to commit suweecide nexta me. Now, no more sad thoughts, Darshie, mmkay?” She smiled at him and sniffled. Coming out about who she was was a very difficult prospect. She never expected to get any love or support. Especially not from Big Macintosh.

“Now come on, Darshie, we gotta get ya to a Doctar, tomorrow. Let’s sleep off this alceehol, firs`, though, eh?”

“But, it’s too cold out.. hic! here!”

“Don’t worry Darshie, I’ll keep ya warm.” She looked at him, sceptically.

“I’m a ‘lez-bean’, remember? You’d better not try any funny business!” At this, Big Macintosh only looked at Rainbow with a humored expression.

“Don’t worry. How bout this?” He scooted over to Rainbow Dash, placed his forehoof on her shoulder, and spoke. “Ah now pernounce ya, Raimbow Darshe, ta be mah new honorary sister. Ah, as yer big brudder, promishe ta keep ya safe, and warm!”

Rainbow smiled at him. “Really? Do you.. hic!.. mean it, Macky?” Big Mac smiled and nodded at her. She couldn’t help but chuckle a little. The earnest yet goofy smile and the way he nodded his head was funny to her. “Big Mac, I never realized how big of a.. hic!.. dork you are.” He laughed at this.

“Come on, Darshie”, he said. He hoisted her up onto his back, and very careful to keep his balance, walked behind the treeline of the woods and away from the windy open road. He rolled her into his hooves, lied down on his back, and placed her next to him. She wrapped her front hoof around him and lied her head on his chest. He hugged her close to him in a gentle and protective fashion, just as if she were Applejack or Applebloom.

“Big Mac?”

“yep?”

“you know,.. hic!.. I know a lot’s happened lately, but I’ve never heard you speak this much before this stuff started happening.”

“Ah guess ah never had too much ta say before, now.”

“It’s a good thing”, she said, fondly. “I like it when you talk with.. hic!.. me.”

He responded only with a faint snore. He was zonked, and his alcohol had gotten the best of him. “Not bad for your first time”, she said quietly. Rainbow felt something she hadn’t felt since she was a young foal, and her father was tucking her in at night. She felt protected. As if all the stresses, dangers, and problems in the world couldn’t get her, because somepony was fending off all the demons. She felt so safe, and for the first time in far too long, she felt a sense of family. “Not bad, at all…”

She contemplated, momentarily, about her day, and how it had taken a complete one-eighty. She, then, buried her face in his furry chest. The lulluby of his beating heart sang to her and relaxed her. The rocking of his gently rising and falling chest pulled her into sleep. She fell asleep, finding the most restful sleep she’d had in years.

Twilight's farewell.

The sun began to rise over the horizon, shedding its warm and peaceful glow over the serene fields of Equestria. Birds sang their songs of morning as a gentle breeze caused the grass to undulate like an ocean of green. With not a cloud in sight, the azure sky seamed to sparkle with life. Anypony setting sight on this paradise would think no unhappy thoughts. The land was natural and pure, and not a building or pony-built landscape could be found for miles. A yellow dirt trail ran along a rocky mountainside, bearing a narrow crevice.

But a few bleak rays from the sun found their way inside the rocky chasm, chasing away the shadows, and alerting Big Macintosh that it was morning. His left eye opened half-way, taking in the morbid view of his probable demise. To his right, a narrow gap could be seen where he had entered, and to his left, an endless abyss of darkness. He tried to stand, but shuttered as a formidable pain shot through his spine up to his neck. With a quick spasm, he fell back to the ground, smashing his chin on the empty bottle of Apple-whiskey that lay underneath him. Various stones and pebbles fell from the pile of rocks and boulders stacked on his back that pinned him to the ground.

Alone and broken, he wept. There was not a soul to console him other than his own voice that echoed throughout the rocky cavern which imprisoned him. He wanted to wipe away the tear that had escaped his open eye, but his forelegs were rendered useless, chained down by the pain he felt in his body. Stallions never cry, he thought to himself.

How’d I even get mahself inta this? His mind was reeling for an answer. Rarely would Big Macintosh act so foolishly. Reality held the fact, however, that he’d made this fine mess all on his own. Why’d I decide ta make this trip by mahself? A chill ripple of wind moaned through the chasm, reminding him how cold he was. The fear of a broken spine kept him from shivering. It was as though his very blood had been replaced with freezing water, sending crystals of ice stabbing through his veins.

He couldn’t help but feel forgotten. Though he was far from civilization, and it would take anypony a lot of searching to find him, he knew nopony was looking for him. In fact, he’d be surprised if anypony had even realized he was gone. He reflected upon the previous day, and the reason he was so eager to venture forth on his short and lonely journey.

It had been a couple from Fillydelphia. A stallion and his wife had gone on a brief vacation to escape the hustle and bustle of city life, as Big Mac remembered. Mr. and Mrs. Trottington found the woodsy backwater town to be quaint, yet elegant. Fillydelphia was a main distributer of oranges, and though many ponies favored them, as Mr. Trottington had put it, a good, fresh, and delicious apple was hard to come by in that area. On the spot, he had made the offer of one-thousand coin if Big Mac would deliver as many bushels as he could fit on one cart to the Fillydelphian residence. Though he wasn’t planning on accepting at first, recent events had made it a hard offer to turn down.

Those pretentious little snobs, Big Macintosh thought to himself. There er a billion different ways they coulda gotten good apples delivered. I’m seriously about ta die, now, because they wanted ta flaunt their filthy moneyround an` show everypony that they’ve got influence! He knew he was directing his anger at the wrong ponies, however, he couldn’t bring himself to accept responsibility for his life falling apart at the seams. Besides that, his misguided anger was laying thick haze upon his mind, making rational thought invisible and far out of reach.

A fierce crackling pain blasted through his ribs as he exhaled heavily. He had only been a few miles into his treck when he’d spotted the opening in the rocks. Hoping it would lead into a shortcut and save him a walk around the mountain, he didn’t hesitate to steer his wagon into the darkness that ensued. Obviously, going through an unfamiliar rocky trench, miles away from civilization, alone, didn’t sound like, and indeed wasn’t, a good idea, but Big Mac had been too intoxicated to give it much thought. It seemed to him that the whiskey was all he had left. The poison that took over his mind was all he thought he needed to make it through his darkened days and unfortunate lonely life.

He stared longingly at the empty bottle under his chin, wishing only that the rockslide he’d caused had spared him but a single bottle. There was nothing more he could do but wish. In a temper tantrum of drunken fury, he had bucked the solid and seemingly stable wall. Mother mountain had rebutted with a frenzy of rockslides, sending her offspring of boulder and rock unto the disgruntled drunkard.

Big Macintosh was definitely no doctor, but it didn’t take a doctor to realize that a pony who lay under carriage-sized boulders carried some broken bones and possible internal bleeding. Hopelessness sank in. He now only hoped for the merciful hand of death to strike him and deny him anymore pain that life routinely thrust upon him.

He was stuck, and his only hope was for somepony to find him, but he strongly doubted anypony would look in the gully of a mountain crevice in a land seldom set hoof upon. So with nothing more to do, he thought back to how his life had fallen to shambles, and how he had become the sad apple he was, this day.

***

Not long after Twilight rose above her peers as the princess of magic, life as Ponyville knew it had changed in ways nopony had ever expected. She resided in Ponyville for only a week after her magical transformation. However, with increasing difficulties in workload, and time to complete her tasks ever dwindling, she decided to set forth for Canterlot and start her new life within the castle walls.

She did so half-begrudgingly, of course. Twilight’s friends had become the most important aspects of her life, but her studious and ethical ways wouldn’t allow her to slack in her responsibilities. Aside from that, she would be lying if she were to tell anypony that it hadn’t been her biggest dream since she was a foal. Since coming to power, her rising above the humble ponies in her beloved Ponyville was truly inevitable.

All of Ponyville had shown up for her send-off. She was standing atop a stage at the mayor’s podium delivering a sincere speech of gratitude and farewell. “Thank you so much for coming out, everypony! I can’t help but notice the excitement in all your faces. I never thought you’d all be here to honor me. I also never imagined that I could be lucky enough to have so many ponies look up to me the way you all do. But I’m truly no different from any one of you. You see, you all are the reason I’m here today, doing what I’m doing, now. If not for each and every one of you teaching me all about the bliss of true friendship, I wouldn’t be what I am now. I could never have overcome all of my trials without you by my side. Though it saddens me to leave, I must be by Princess Celestia’s side…”

Twilight glanced through the crowd as she spoke, taking in everypony’s reactions. She saw faces of excitement, those that looked sad about her leave, and even those of neutral boredom. For the most part, however, it seemed most were cheerful and hanging off her every word. This was to be expected, for her speech was a true-hearted one, and her words were strong. She hadn’t prepared anything, but she still managed to surprise herself with how quickly the words came to her mind, and how smoothly they rolled off her tongue.

At the front of the crowd stood Twilight’s closest friends, Rainbow dash, Fluttershy, Rarity, Pinkey Pie, Applejack, and Spike. Big Macintosh and little Applebloom stood beside their teary-eyed sister. It was an emotional moment, indeed. Even the unbreakable Big Macintosh had to fight back tears. Pinkie Pie, however, had no trouble letting her feelings be known. She was bawling quite animatedly. Tears seemed to eject from her tightly closed eyes like raging waterfalls. Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Fluttershy all wore forced expressions of happiness and excitement, both trying to overcome their grief and show their friend support, as well as pretend Pinkie’s deafening wail wasn’t attracting everypony’s attention.

The only thing more obvious than Pinkie’s tremendously audible cry was Twilight’s awkward discomfort as she attempted to speak over her weeping friend. From atop the stage, Twilight could see that she’d lost everypony. All eyes were set upon the hysterical pink mare. She was beginning to feel like it was becoming out of hand, so to discontinue the awkwardness that was beginning to flow through the air, she decided to end her speech and consult her friends one-on-six.

“With all the love and support you’ve shown me, I set forth unto a new journey. Farewell, my dear, dear friends!” With this, the crowd let out a bellowing cheer of excitement, as well as shouts of farewell.

As Twilight descended the stage, she was tackled to the ground by a pink blur. She landed with a hard thump. “Don’t leave me, Twilight! PLEEEEASE don’t leave me!” Normally, one could count on Pinkie Pie to overreact to virtually any situation, but the earnest heart-brokenness in her voice and the trembling fear that was only too obvious to all was heart-wrenching. The awe-stricken residents of Ponyville, who weren’t expecting any particular drama, were taken aback by the sight. Some were even beginning to grow teary-eyed, themselves. Many bore heavy hearts as they simply watched the scene, quietly. Even for those who didn’t know Twilight very personally, the desperation in her friend as she pleaded Twilight to stay was difficult to watch.

“I have to Pinkie”, Twilight said, apologetically, ignoring all the lingering eyes around her. “I’m really sorry, but Princess Celestia needs me in Canterlot. I have too many ponies depending on me to stay here.” Pinkie only nodded as she rubbed her snout with her hoof and sniffled. Twilight could see the lack of resolve and continued to try to console the now-straight-haired pink pony. She motioned with her hoof to allow her to stand, so Pinkie obliged and backed off of Twilight so she could.

“Oh, sweetie, this isn’t goodbye, we’ll see each other, again! Maybe you can come visit me at the castle, sometime, okay?” Twilight stood up and embraced Pinkie in a warm, welcoming hug.

After many seconds, Pinkie finally responded. “I… I love you, Twiley…” Twilight had remained intact throughout the entire ceremony, and though trying to keep a professional air about her, she could no longer hide her feelings. Tears erupted from her eyes. She squeezed Pinkie Pie tight just as Pinkie did her, and she cried with her face buried in Pinkie’s shoulder. Before she knew it, she was being held by all five of her dear friends. Together they wept, letting their heart-heavy farewell carry on.

“Hey, Twi? I, uhh…”, Applejack began to say. She trailed off and remained paused, trying to find the right words. “I jes wanted ta tell ya… You’ve been a real good friend ta me. Yer a real honest pony. Ya mean an aweful lot ta me…”

“To US!” Rainbow Dash had to drive the point in as hard as she could. “Twilight”, she continued, “it was you that ended up bringing all of us so close together. And that was before you even KNEW anything about friendship!”

Twilight still held a sobbing pink pony, while the others stood around her. She couldn’t see their faces because of how close they were holding each other. She caught a glimpse of Spike, however, as her eyes fluttered toward the right. She saw him sulking. He kicked a small pebble on the ground as he walked off back into the front of the crowd.

She wasn’t sure what to expect from her young dragon companion. They had never discussed the day of her leaving, prior. It looked to her like it may have been a mistake not to. She should have known that Spike was going to take her absence hard.

“Um, Twilight?” The soft and barely-audible voice piped up from her left. Fluttershy spoke with the grace and softness of an angel. “Will you write to us? Um, to me? You’ve been so nice. I’d worry sick if I went a whole week without hearing from you.”

Now, it was Rarity’s turn to speak. “Of course she’ll write, won’t you, Twilight? Darling, I hope you know that no matter where you are, we will always be here for you.”

“Darn tootin! Twi, if yer ever in a pinch, ya let us know, right away, and we’ll be there faster than a jack-rabbit on a unicycle!” Twilight had no idea how fast rabbits rode unicycles, but if she were in a bind, knowing her friends, she was sure the speed of their arrival would put that unicycle-bearing jack-rabbit to shame.

Twilight wasn’t sure what to say, at this point. She knew that her friends were ecstatic for her, but the tone under the surface was dark and heavy with grief. The attitude of their farewell seemed more morbid than inspiring. Spike, it seemed, was the worst off. She tried to spot him in the crowd, but couldn’t see past her huddled friends. There was also Pinkie Pie, who had stopped crying at this point, but was still shaking in Twilight’s arms.

Everypony within the town square had been so affixed on the drama that was taking place before them, nopony even noticed Princess Celstia’s entrance. Confidently, she stepped forth through the crowd. Ponies elbowed and nudged one another quietly to snap them back to reality. They all silently stepped aside, allowing a path for her to approach the mourning friends. Twilight was still struggling to find words. She hadn’t expected her tutor to arrive for another hour. The six ponies nearly jumped out of their skins when she spoke.

“Twilight’s lucky to have you all as such close friends. I promise you’ll be able to come visit anytime you wish.” She didn’t wait for anypony to respond before she continued. “I’m sorry, Twilight, but we really must be going, now. There is a matter at the castle that requires your attention.”

The friends broke off their embraces and slowly retreated back into the crowd. “Come, Twilight Sparkle. We have much to discuss.” Princess Celestia’s tone seemed a little cold. A subtle concern softly radiated from Twilight’s chest to her abdomen. When the princess was as short and flat with everypony as she was being at this moment, she knew it was something very serious. She still couldn’t leave just yet, though. She had to talk to Spike before she took off. Whatever it was that Princess Celestia was talking about, it couldn’t have been more important than giving due time to say goodbye to her only family. But where did he run off to? Did he actually just lea…

“Wait! Wait! Don’t leave, yet, Twilight!” Spike emerged from the crowd and ran to her. Twilight’s heart shattered right then when she spotted the look on his face. It was the look that an orphan child might wear when stricken with the news of his deceased parents. The child of a dragon bore a mighty frown, whispering words of immense sorrow. He looked as though he’d been in denial about her leaving, and now that the moment was neigh, understanding had finally hit him with the ferocity of a sledge hammer.

She turned to face him, and as she did, he had reached her and stopped in front of her. He stood quietly. She could tell he was trying to find the right words. She knew him better than he knew himself, most of the time. His ruffled scales, wrinkled nose, and uncomfortable shuffle as he rubbed his wrist, were all his trademark signs of difficult, wordless emotions. He was struggling to keep his mind rational, but he was surely about to break.

Spike wasn’t the only one struggling. Twilight was at an utter loss for words, as well. Her and Spike were like brother and sister. They’d been together since she was a young foal. Spike was but a little hatchling when they met. Spike had dedicated his life to assisting Twilight in any matters in which he could lend a claw. It was all he’d ever known.

“Please, Twilight”, he spoke, seeming to choke on his words as he stared straight down at the ground. “Let me come with you, I don’t want to be alone, here. It just wouldn’t be the same without you!” He looked up from the ground to lock eyes with the first friend and only family he’d ever had. The scales on his face were wet, and his nose dripped, slightly. The tiny dragon was heartbroken, and he couldn’t possibly hide it.

“Spike…”, Twilight began, but fell short of words. How exactly does one say goodbye to somepony so close? “Spike, I’m going to have ponies at the castle waiting on me hoof and hoof. I’m going to constantly be surrounded by guards. I’m sorry, but it just isn’t possible. I’ll need somepony here to take care of my books while I’m gone. Besides, without you, how would anypony else get my letters? They NEED you here, Spike”.

Spike’s sadness was unresolved. “But Twilight, I need YOU! I don’t know how to live without you! I never have! I’ve never been without you for more than a day or two!” The alicorn glanced around, trying to find a response that might appease her companion in some way. Her eyes stopped on Rarity.

“You know Spike, I know somepony else who could definitely use your help.” Spike cocked his head slightly to the side, puzzled. “Rarity is always kept busy with her dresses”, Twilight continued. “I bet she’d love to have the best assistant in all of Equestria around to help her out!” Rarity nodded at the two with a gentle smile, and gave a subtle wink to Spike, whose jaw hung loosely open.

Like a child reunited with their puppy, Spike perked up in the blink of an eye. “You’re right, Twilight! I’ll do my best, and I WON’T let you down!” Spike finished with a dutiful salute.

The two siblings shared one final hug and released. With nothing left to say, she joined Princess Celestia. Together, the two princesses walked toward the guard-drawn carriage awaiting them behind the crowd. Everypony in the town square continued to gawk. A blanket of silence had lain heavy upon the crowd. This silence wasn’t a normal silence. For Twilight Sparkle, the silence of this moment was deafening.

Princess Celestia and Princess Twilight climbed aboard the small carriage. With a jerk, the guards pulling the carriage took off, building up speed as they flapped their pegasi wings until they were airborne. As they flew away, Twilight caught one final glimpse of the friends she was leaving behind.

Pinkie was crying in Rainbow dash’s embrace. Applebloom, Sweetie Bell, and Scootaloo cuddled against Rarity, who dabbed at her eyes with a jewel-encrusted purple kerchief. She spotted Big Macintosh nuzzling his snout in Applejack’s neck who hung her head with a solemn sadness carved into her face. Fluttershy sat beside Spike, rubbing his back with her fore-hoof as he simply stood and watched his sister leave.

Their eyes locked on each other for just a moment. Though it lasted for mere seconds, it felt like an eternity to Twilight. He bore an expressionless face. She raised a hoof and waved goodbye to him, subtly. It was then that Spike finally lost his composure, and spun around to jump into Fluttershy’s embrace. She stroked his scales as he cried, wiping his tears into her breast.

“Twilight”, Princess Celestia spoke, snapping her out of her trance. “Are you going to be alright?”

“Yes, princess”, Twilight responded. “ I won’t let my memories hinder me from performing my duties.” For a moment, all that could be heard were the raging winds of the sky whipping by, causing Twilight’s main to ripple to its rythem.

“That a girl.” Princess Celestia ended the short conversation on that note. With a heart heavy with grief, and an unrivaled determination, Twilight looked ahead onto her new horizons…

And never looked back…