Chapter One

Right after the ‘Rarity Incident’, Twilight and me headed towards the kitchen, leaving a knocked out Rarity on the floor. I wondered if these pony-turned-humans could eat meat, since they are normally vegetarians in their world. I got to cooking to find out. And since I was born with a carnivorous diet in mind, I whipped up a simple pork jerky that was soaked overnight in a sauce that mom stole from a restaurant. I hoped it was as delicious as my mom’s but eh, they wouldn’t know the difference. As soon as I set the five-star meal at the center of the table, Twilight looked at me as if I was crazy.

“What’s this?” she said.

“That’s a five-star quality meat that my mom taught me. Please,” I said, mockingly pulling out a seat for her and bowing while pointing to it, “take a seat, Madame.” Twilight giggled and took her seat. I looked around and grinned, a devious plan forming in my head. I walked and turned off the light. Since it was dark outside due to the storm, the only light was above the table, creating a tense atmosphere around Twi. I grabbed the knife and slammed it on the table.

“HOW DID YOU GET HERE?!” I screamed just like interrogators in the movies. Twilight blinked in surprise then cried aloud as if she was in pain. I looked down and saw that I had impaled her hand. Well, you could imagine my reaction to that. By saying the phrase: “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” over and over again. Blood began to pool around the hand and I was still panicking. Then I actually tried pulling out the knife.

And that’s how I realized that I was screwed. By Twilight. When I pulled the knife out, I noticed the lack of blood. When I looked at the hand, the illusion began to dissipate. Twilight began laughing uncontrollably .

“I can’t believe you fell for that!” she said after having her moment. She wiped a tear in her eye then said, “You shoulda seen your face!” Then began laughing again. I just stared at her, silently wondering why bad things happen to good people.

“Twilight,” I finally said, “you’re a terrible person.” I said, sitting down on my chair. “Now as a punishment, you’ll need to accompany me in eating my poorly made meal.”

“You do realize that I don’t eat meat, right?” I sighed.

“Twilight, you’re a motherfucking human now. Don’t hold back and eat as much as you can.”

“Fiiinnnnneee.” She said, cutting a large section of the steak and dumping it on her plate. She looked at it silently before gripping the knife and fork and began cutting the edge. She then brought the fork to her mouth and bit a small bite. Her eyes promptly lit up, bright enough to seemingly glow in the dark room.

“THIS IS AWESOME!” she said, as cheery as her nerdy voice could take. Which was actually kinda cute.

“Really? Woah, I never expected this to actually taste good,” I said, poking the meat with my finger.

“You’ve really outdone yourself with this meal, John.” Twilight said, eating more of the ‘delicious’ meal. After a while of eating, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy walked in.

“Sup Dash!” I waved.

“Woah Twilight, are you eating…” She spared a quick glance at Fluttershy, “meat?”

“Yup! It takes great!”

“Uhh Twi,” I intervened, “I think it’s better not to talk like that in front of Fluttershy?”

“Wha—oh.” Her head drooped, but continued eating. I looked at Fluttershy, who seemed to cower behind Rainbow Dash.

“Hey, uh Fluttershy?” she glanced my way, “ You wanna go outside for a bit?” To avoid Rarity?

“Umm, okay.” She walked slowly towards me, trying not to look at Twilight. I sighed and put my hands on her shoulders, “Let’s go outside, it’ll do you good.”

“Okay,” she said quietly. I draped my arms on her shoulders and led her out. I swear I could feel Twilight’s stare boring a hole into my skull as we walked.

Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with her? I thought as we were once again at the snowy wonderland. I led her to my little treehouse in my backyard. It was still standing strong, despite the snowstorm this morning. I forgot to mention that the storm ended about an hour ago, that’s why I concluded that it was safe to go outside.

“Do you think you can climb up to there?” I asked her. She nodded and floated to the top. Holy shit.

“Hey, that’s cheating!” I called from below. I heard her giggle behind entering the treehouse proper. I started to climb the large tree. In record time, I had successfully scaled the ridiculous tree. I opened the door to see Fluttershy idly browsing the books on the shelf on the side. The treehouse itself wasn’t really big, only big enough for a group of friends to spend the night here.

“So Fluttershy,” I said, thinking for something to talk about, “tell me more about yourself.” I sat down on one of the couches inside the treehouse.

“And that’s how I got my cutie mark!” She said cheerfully, ending her story. It’s past 5 pm and the sun is starting to set.

“I’d say Fluttershy, that was quiet a story.” I said, offering my hand to her. She gladly accepted and stood up. I led her towards a balcony where Dad had set up a zipline from the treehouse to the house proper, with the line ending inside the attic. I grabbed a towel and looped it around the metal wire. After a few test pulls I concluded that it was safe.

“C’mon Fluttershy.” I held my arms out. She mistook it for a hug and jumped to me instantly. Woah, shit. Now this is bad.

“Hold on tight!” I said as I grabbed the loop.

“Why?”

“You’ll see.” I jumped off the balcony descended down the line, Fluttershy holding on tight. When I landed inside the attic, I grinned.

“Isn’t that fun?” She let out a cute little ‘eep’ and held on tighter. “Uhh Flutters, we’re on the ground now.” She held on tighter. I sighed and hugged her back. We stayed like for a couple of minutes before I let go.

“C’mon, let’s go down.” I said as I pushed a small ladder on a trapdoor. I jumped down and beckoned Fluttershy over. She jumped down and I caught her. I set her down and pushed the ladder back in. When we descended down the stairs to find Rarity surrounded by a purple aura of magic and was surrounded by the girls. They were having a discussion of sorts. Most likely about the ‘Rarity Incident’. But we stepped in at the worst sentence ever.

“…then John told me the Twilight was his girlfriend…” Twilight’s stern gaze seemed to slowly transfer from Rarity to me.

“Fluttershy, if you help me, I will marry you.” I said as I backed away. Fluttershy blushed but didn’t do anything. “Fluttershy! Y U DO DIS?” I cried and bolted out as Twilight began to chase after me.

“SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!” I continued to run until a purple aura snagged my foot, dropping me on the floor. Twilight loomed over me, fire burning brightly in her eyes. Oh shit. I discreetly pulled my phone and dialed Jason’s number, hoping that he’ll hear the noise and report to the police.

“Yo, John!” Jason’s voice rang from phone but went unnoticed by Twilight.

“Twilight,” I said, loud enough for the phone’s mic to register, “we can talk about this.” Twilight picked me up by her magic. “No, Twi. Don do dis Twi! Don do dis!” She walked closer to me, her lips curved into a wicked smile.

“Yo Angie! Listen! John’s getting his ass kicked!” Jason’s voice rang out again.

“I’M GOING TO DIE JASON! WHAT THE ACTUAL CLUSTERFUCKING SHIT ARE YOU DOING?!” Twilight was in front of me now. I could swear she smells like burning sulfur right now.

“He-e-y John! Are you having fun there?” It was Angie this time.

“What kind of friends ARE YOU!?”

“Holy shit, Jason. He seems pretty sincere.”

“NO SHIT I’M SINCERE!” The call then ended and all I was left was Twilight, who was breathing on my face. Then a couple of things all happened at once, first, Twilight yanked me towards her and slapped me, which was so hard that it sounded like a .45 caliber had been fired in the room. Yep, I deserved that. Second was the window shattering to a thousand pieces as Jason and Angie dove into it. It would have been awesome if Jason didn’t slam into the door as it opened to reveal the other girls. Last thing was… this is where the clusterfuck begins. Twilight Sparkle hugged me tight and whispered into my ear, “I love you too.” I was confused by that, but it didn’t even matter when Twilight kissed me deeply. She was inexperienced, but it didn’t matter. I was so fucking confused by that time that I didn’t even try to bother kissing back, as much as I want to right now.

“Ow, my head hurts.” Jason said in the background. “Wait the minute, HOLY SHIT, JOHN!” I woke up from my shocked state.

“PROTECT YOUR VIRGINITY!” He dove to rip Twilight from me but was snagged from mid air by magic. Twilight broke the kiss and stared at me with half lidded eyes.

“Ho-ly. Shit.” I said, “Twi, please tell me you didn’t do what I think you just did.”

“I kissed you silly.” She giggled as she poked my nose. “You said I was your girlfriend, so I figured out that we’re together now.” The world seemed to swirl and darken around me at every word that she said.

Together? Like… Marriage? NO! NOnonononononono! Shit! Ahhhhhh- I won’t bother to write what happened after that.

It actually took me a while to calm down. I was in my room, contemplating over what the hell just happened. “Man, I really need to think first before saying anything.” I muttered.

But it was a spur of the moment decision, there’s nothing wrong with it.

“Nothing wrong? Look at what the hell just happened, brain.” I sighed. “Yes I know that I have a little crush on Twilight but shit.” I grasped my head and groaned. “Having a girlfriend is nice but I just feels… wrong. I don’t even know her yet.”

Then you’re screwed kid.

“Which side are you on?!” I sighed “We need to fix this, Brain.”

I know. It’s been only a third of the chapter and many more chapters to come. Of course I have a plan.

I don’t know what you’re talking about but please… I don’t want to get stuck with a girl I barely know. I felt my subconscious grin. Or what I think was my subconscious. I forgot to mention that I have the ability to communicate with my subconscious due to my… different… state of mind. It looks like talking to yourself but in reality, you’re really talking with your brain. My subconscious forms coherent replies that I didn’t thought of. Might be a form of the ‘Multiple Personality Disorder’. Anyways, back to what was happening.

As I was continuing my mental tirade, I didn’t notice Twilight enter with a somber expression plastered on her face. I only noticed her when she sat beside me and spoke.

“I’m sorry for that.” She muttured loud enough for me to hear. That was enough to get me out of my reverie.

“Wha- oh. Yeah.”

“Rarity talked to me. She said I have no right to declare someone that they are my boyfriend. I’m sorry for forcibly kissing you and I’m sorry for… everything I’d done.” She whimpered.

“That’s okay. I mean, you don’t know much about love. It might just be your feelings that were overwhelmed by the events that… transcribed today. Yes my mind is still muddle and I do find you cute, but I do admit that even you declaring me as your boyfriend is… fucked up. I mean, those jocks at school could be happy and have sex afterwards,” she blushed slightly at that, “but I’m saying this because I’m not like those guys. I’m… different. I’m looking for a long term relationship and if someone declared someone as their partner, I’m sure it’ll only last a few weeks then all of it is gone.”

“I know.” She weakly said, “Maybe I was just overwhelmed today. And you hugging me and flirting with me that it just… threw my emotions wild.” Note to self: flirting must be taken seriously by now. “And when Rarity said that you said that I was your girlfriend, I was filled with emotions I couldn’t understand. I was mad at you for saying that I was your girlfriend and at the same time I was touched. The only way I could deduce that is that I was in love with you. Ironic, if you think about it. I was mad at you for saying that I was your girlfriend and I was the one who said you were my boyfriend and took it seriously.”

“Well, it’s a good thing Rarity talked you out of it or else this would be one giant clusterfuck that I had to solve.” A few moments of awkwardness later, “Hey uh, if you want to pursue relationship thing I suggest that we go on a date. Think about it.” She nodded. I know that it was still too early for that, but it was better to ask now and l let her think about it once everything is sorted out. I hugged her and told her to sleep. She smiled weakly and went out of the room, presumably to one of the many guest rooms we have.

The next morning found me struggling to get out of bed. God damnit, why is the bed gotta so cold? Cold is comfortable. I am easily lulled to sleep, especially if it’s cold. I dragged myself out of the bed and let myself fall on the ground. I hit the ground with a loud thud. I groaned at the pain, which was enough to wake me up.

“Argh. Fuck.” The phone started ringing. I groaned again and forced myself to stand up. I look at my bed and looked for the source of the frantic ringing. I dug into my blanket and continued searching. After a minute I pulled out the iPhone.

Mom, shit. I answered the call and mom’s voice immediately rang out.

“John! Honey, we’re aren’t gonna be able to come home until New Year.”

“Aww man, that sucks.” I faked being worried.

“I know right? Please take care of yourself.”

“Yup okay,” I contemplated to tell whether or not to tell the broken window. You know what? Fuck it. “Hey mom! The window downstairs broke. Maybe because of the storm yesterday. Fix it when you get home, okay?” Then I hung up. Yeah I’m a terrible son. I then booted up my laptop and began writing this. After a minute of typing words, Twilight came in. Her hair looked frazzled and her eyes were bloodshot.

And it’s going to get worse.

“Shut up brain.” I muttured. When Twilight saw me, she forced a smile.

“I’m sorry for again last night. I just… I don’t… I could control my emotions. It was the first time someone actually called me a compliment. It’s just… I’m sorry.”

Brain?

“Think for yourself for once John.”

Fuck you

“You’re just saying fuck you to yourself. Now, comfort that motherfucker already!”

Fine, geez.

“I forgive you Twi. I know it was hard but hey, at least I gave you another chance.”

“I know.” She weakly said. “Thank you.” There was a bit on awkward silence for over a few minutes. It was Twilight that broke it.

“Umm, what am I supposed to do? My books said that you need to take someone on a date and find if you two were compatible. I don’t know what to do next.” Shit .This ought to take some time.

“Uh well, first you find out if the other person likes to you and… you two go one a date and… I dunno.” Twilight lit up for some reason.

“Alright, meet me on the treehouse tonight at 8 pm.” I pointed to the giant tree that was visible from the window in my room. She grinned but I quickly said, “Fuck this up… I’ll… never mind. Get ready.” I grabbed my jacket and my phone and headed out. When I was outside the house I happened upon Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie. I waved them over.

“You two doing anything important?” I said.

“Nope. None.” Dash replied.

“Okay. You interested in coffee?”

“Huh?” They both said at the same time. I sighed.

“Coffee is a beverage made from cocoa beans. People usually drink in at mornings to give them some energy. It can be served either hot or cold. Oh and uh,” I whispered to Dash, “Don’t let Pinkie drink too much of that.”

“Yeah sure, c’mon. I’m curious to what this coffee is.” Just like that, we were headed towards Starbucks. Once I pulled the door of the coffee store open, a blast of hot air welcomed us. While the girls hunt for a seat, I went up to the counter. I ordered for two mocha flavored coffees for me and Dash a mug of hot chocolate for Pinkie. Hey, at least the chocolate gives less energy compared to coffee. While waiting for our order to be served, I called Jason and said that we’re waiting for him at Starbucks.

A minute after the order was served, Jason went through the front door. He took a seat beside me and exchanged pleasantries.

“So what’s on today’s agenda?” He asked while waiting for his order. We were all quietly sitting on one of the foam chairs that were set up against the wall. Even Pinkie was quiet, presumably enjoying the new drink.

“Okay uhh, you all remember the incident yesterday?”

“The Rarity Incident or the Twilight Incident?”

“Twilight’s incident.”

“Yup, crystal clear. You saw that dive I made through the window? That was pure Hollywood-class action dude.”

“It would have been good if didn’t get knocked out by the door,” Rainbow Dash chuckled.

“Hey guys! I got a problem here? Hello?” I butt in.

“Yeah yeah. Though taking in account that you got French-kissed last night I couldn’t see the problem. I bet you gave her a sweet hot banging last night didn’t ya? I heard that Twilight slept in your room.” I was giving him a deadpan glare the whole time he was talking.

“No I didn’t fuck her-”

“Wus.”

“She didn’t even sleep in my room, fucktard! And fucking her would be an insult to what I did to solve my problem last night.”

“Fine, geez. Out with it.” I sighed.

“I’ll start with Twilight going into my room.”

“You didn’t bang her did you?”

“I already told you that I didn’t. Now shut up.” They all nodded. “Twilight came into my room and we just talked. She told me her reason why she kissed me and it turns out that she was just overwhelmed. We decided that it would do some good if we dated. Now, I don’t know shit about dating and what to do, so I gathered you all here.” Apparently I said that last part aloud, and everyone turn our way. “Not all of you.” I said aloud, “These fine people here,” I gestured towards them, and a large number of heads looked away. “Now back to the matter at hand.”

“Well that’s easy,” Jason said, “All you gotta do is man it up and act nice all night. Treat her and exchange stories together. Take it slow and don’t ask anything personal.”

“Talk about magic, she likes that kind of stuff.” Dash said.

“And most importantly,” Pinkie gasped for air, “MAKE HER SMILE!”

“She does have a point.” Jason said.

“Thanks. All of you. Now I must excuse myself. I’m gonna prepare the treehouse.”

“You’re gonna use that?” Jason asked.

“I figured it will be romantic enough. And I bet she hadn’t seen anything like that before.”

“John.” Dash said. “She lives with in a tree house. A literal tree. House. Jason facepalmed.

“Fuck it. I’m gonna take her anyways.” Jason double facepalmed. I didn’t care and exited the café with an air of confidence radiating around me. As I walked towards the house, I checked my watch.

“12:30 pm. Still a bit of time until the date. Let’s hit the hay shall we?” I went up to my room, not seeing my date anywhere. I shrugged and set my alarm for 6:30 pm. After that, I dove into my bed and slept.

When I woke up, it was 6:35. I groaned as I got to my feet. Everything seemed to be a blur as I walked towards my bathroom. I quickly showered and got dressed. I then looked at the mirror and facepalmed. I forgot that I was supposed to go on a date. I changed to my best clothes, which was a dark, checkered button up shirt with a dark blue t-shirt underneath it. I was my best pair since it was the only pair I chose; Mom usually picks my clothes for me, and I could care less of what she picks. Finally, I grabbed my black cargo pants and white sneakers. Then again, not the best but it manages to blend in with my top pair. I went downstairs to find Dash.

I found her watching TV. I dunno how these ponies knew how to operate my things, given their technological state but I figured it was through trial-and-error.

“Yo Dash! Can I borrow your hoodie?” I asked, walking into the room.

“Uhh, yeah. Here,” she tossed me her hoodie, and I quickly put it on. “Good luck!” I heard her yell after me.

“Thanks! Sure need it!” I yelled back. My phone vibrated. I pulled it out and saw that Jason sent me a message. I tapped it and smiled.

~~Yo John! Good luck at the date! Don’t fuck this up and follow my advice, you gon’ get laid brah! Once again, Good luck – Jay~~

I put my phone back into my pocket and went around the corner of the house leading towards the tree. I didn’t see my date anywhere so I just leaned on the tree’s bark, whistling a tune of a song that made me remember my childhood.

After twenty-something minutes, Twilight finally rounded the corner of the house. She was still wearing her uniform and was looking really flushed. A shade of pink graced her cheeks and her eyes looked anywhere but me. The snow was falling slowly as she walked down the stone pathways towards the tree. The moon’s light seemed to focus unto her like a spotlight, making the snow sparkle beautifully, drawing my eyes towards my date. I don’t know what she did but when I think back to that moment, she was absolutely stunning.

“Hi,” she said once she was within earshot of me. “Seen anything you like?” She giggled. I shook myself out of my reverie to conjure a proper reply.

“In fact I did. Shall we?” I held out my arm.

“Where exactly are we going?” She asked once she took my hand.

“I have a few destinations in mind. Starbucks, the park, my tree house. If you want, we could just walk around.”

“Umm, we could do that. I don’t want any attention drawn towards us after all.”

“Figures. C’mon, let’s get moving.” We did just that. Walking around, talking about random topics, occasionally flirting, the kind of stuff you do on an informal date. Is that a thing? Seriously, I just made that up. Anyways, we arrived at the skating rink at around 7:30, I think.

“It’s just beautiful, just like back home.” Twilight sighed.

“How do you feel?” I asked, gazing at the reflection of the moon on the frozen river. The whole scenery looks peaceful. The crumbling old buildings looked fresh when covered by the fluffy snow. I could almost hear the people rushing through those doors last Christmas Eve, the last minute shoppers buying gifts and the sound of those machines that cashiers use. What was it again? I forgot what it was called. Twilight supported her head on the railings with her hands. “How do you feel so far away from home?”

“I feel… helpless. I know that we aren’t gonna get out of this world sooner or later.” She sighed, her breath visible.

“Here,” I took off Dash’s jacket and draped it across Twilight’s back, “Should be enough to get away from the cold.”

“Thanks. What about you? Aren’t you cold?”

“Nay, don’t think about me. This is your first date after all, might as well not ruin it by letting you freeze to death.”

“Won’t you suffer from hypothermia or something?”

“Nah, I’m used to cold climates anyways,” Not entirely true but it was enough to sedate Twilight’s curiosity. Silence hung for a few minutes before Twilight spoke again.

“Tell me more about humans. My books said they were mythical creatures, many are fearsome and was very strong, able to tear a tree in two. But…” she paused, “I don’t think your kind are like that.”

“Yup. It’s true that some are fearsome and will not hesitate on killing you when you make a wrong move, but not all. In this world, this is no good or bad, there’s equality. Some deem killing someone else is bad, but some justify it by saying that the person deserved it or some shit like that.” She looked shocked when I mentioned the killing part. “Yeah I know. Good thing you didn’t end up five hundred years ago,”

“And why is that?”

“Let’s say the humans back before are a teeny bit more violent than most of us now. Say Twi, have you ever been in a war?”

“Not in my lifetime no. My parents say that there was a great war five thousand years from the current year in Equestria.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Well, I don’t know much but the Element of Chaos, Discord, ruled the ponies with an iron claw,” I shrugged at that, “and Princess Celestia and her sister Princess Luna defeated him. That’s all I know.” I shrugged again.

“Well, the stories of war here are preserved, most are recorded but some are passed down generation from generation. And how the war was waged are differently back then to now.”

“That warrants some more stories.” She grinned. I sighed.

“I don’t know much but at the Medieval Era, it’s about who stands the longest while fighting. It was two armies at two sides of the battlefield, bearing swords, axes, spears and some other weapons. Some had cannons, some had none. Back then the two armies clashed at the middle of the battlefield. At the end of battle, not many survived. Then guns came by. Guns are like crossbows that fire small pellets of metal called bullets, at a very high velocity, enough to pierce the enemy’s skin. Back then, the guns are just the one shot kinds. You fire one shot and then reload. And it takes too long just to reload a single gun. So most still have their swords and axes. At war though, the soldiers fire in turns or volleys. It’s basically a row of soldiers aiming at the enemy at a similar formation.” I was squeezing as much as I know about the Assassin’s Creed series. “The soldiers wait for their commanding officer for a signal before firing simultaneously. Warfare gradually evolved and World War One came by. At that time, revolvers were made. They were physically still one shot guns but they have a much simpler reloading process. They have a circular barrel at the middle of their body which rotates for every round fired. My dad has one which I could show you later.”

“That’s… a lot to take in.” She said, getting her head of the railing.

“Well you asked for it. C’mon, let’s go back home.”

“Thanks,” Twilight said after a while.

“For the info? No prob. It did took a lot of my memory to do that though, so you owe me.”

“For the… date, I mean.”

“Oh yeah that. Yeah, no problem. It was fun, I guess, brought back a lot of memories.” I sighed before realizing something. “Hold on Twi. Wait here.” I said before running towards a small flower shop that we passed a while back. I entered the door with a ding. The girl snapped in attention as soon as the bell rang.

“What can I get for you?”

“Uhh, a single stem of rose please?” I said, panting slightly.

“For a date I presume?” I nodded.

“Yeah, for a date. Oh and a daisy too?”

“Okay,” she said before walking towards a bucket full of roses. I dug out a few dollars before she stopped me.

“Keep those money to yourself. You are my last customer for the night.”

“No, I insist. You need it more than I do.”

“Well, okay. Just… put it on the table.” I did.

“Well, here you go, a rose and a daisy.” She said, walking towards me with the said flowers.

“Thanks, I hope it’s enough.”

“Don’t worry. If you want, I could do something with the rose that’ll make your date say yes instantly.”

“Well, for curiosity’s sake, please do.” Half a minute later, she came out with a white rose in her hands. It looked frozen.

“What it you do?”

“Oh you know. Something something… magic.” She grinned. “Now be carefully with that, it might shatter if you drop it.”

“Don’t worry.” I waved as I exited the door. I then ran back to where I left Twilight.

“Hey Twi!” I said as I caught up.

“Where have you been?”

“Oh you know. And this is for you.” I held up the frozen rose. She gasped as soon as she saw it.

“How did you do this?” She said, lightly poking the petals.

I grinned, “Something something… magic. And you might have something on your hair.”

“Huh?” She said before lightly touching the daisy that I discreetly put it when she was fawning over the rose. “How did you—Oh you sly human.” She glared, before giggling. I shrugged.

“I manage something. Now, I think that we need to go back. Shall we?” I said again, offering my hand.

“I’m flattered, but please. Let us go John.” She said, accepting my waiting hand.

“Gladly.” I said, beginning to walk. “It was a somewhat nice date, right Twi?”

“I agree. I never knew the humanity have such a dark history.”

“Me neither,” I said before smirking. She glared at me before giggling.

“It takes more than that to make me look dumb John.”

“I agree. Though I wouldn’t want such a pretty girl like you look dumb, do I?” She blushed and looked away, which was the exact reaction I was hoping to get. I chuckled.

“You win this time, John!” She said.

“I sure do.” Her hands glowed before I was smacked lightly on the head.

“You shouldn’t embarrass a lady in public.”

“Geez, you sound like how I imagined Rarity would talk.” I said before smacked again. “And there aren’t even people around.”

“Fine.” We continued walking in silence. A minute later the wind began to pick up. I held Twilight closer to me, my right arm now around her shoulders. After a while we couldn’t even see four feet in front of us. I hoped that we wouldn’t end up in a manhole somehow. A minute later, we began to hear voices, muffled by the storm.

“Hello?” I said again. I was very familiar now to these kind of situations. More voices. They sounded male now. We trudged through the thick snow to where I thought the voices are. Twilight began to perk up now as the voices began more pronounced, though I can’t still make out what was being said. When we were close enough I began to notice the shadows becoming more prominent. Twilight then jumped from my grasp then ran through the snow.

“Spike!” I heard her shout. I notice the shadows turn towards her and I picked up my pace. Then as if on cue like the last time, the snow began to dissipate, revealing two men and a teenager that looked confused. One of the men that had blue hair with a darker shade of blue running down his hair was being hugged by Twilight. I admit I felt jealous but I hid it for the time being.

“Brother,” Twilight said. Well fuck me for being jealous to Twilight’s brother. “I missed you.”

“Uhh Twi,” the teenager said. He was wearing a purple button up shirt with a green shirt underneath. He also had a dark green Mohawk style hair. Say anything you want but I think this dude is cool. “Can you explain to… us what we’re doing here?”

“Do you remember a vortex?” Twilight asked, releasing her brother, “Well that’s exactly the what sent you here. I don’t know why you’re in bodies of humans but I think it might have fused with the vortex spell.”

“Twi,” her brother said, “What did I tell you about performing dangerous magic?”

“Uhh, nothing?” Her brother glared at her, “Relax Shining Armor. All is fine… and so is the girls. John here helped us by letting us stay in their house.” She pointed at me. I waved a hand. “I think we should go home now. Nice meeting you again Silver Crow.” ‘Silver Crow’ murmured a response. He was wearing a golden jacket and a white t-shirt underneath. He had cargo pants and had silver hair.

Must be one of the Royal Guards Twilight talked about. I mused.

“Well,” Shining Armor said, “I do think it’s time to go home, where ever it is.”

“Follow us!” Twilight said, walking back towards me. I sighed with relief as she didn’t offer her hand this time, wouldn’t want to get beat up by his brother at an unlikely time, would we? We got back home in silence. Before I got the chance to knock the door opened on its own, revealing Rarity in her nightgown. Spike and I both said, “RARITY!” at the same time, with a different voice and pitch. Mine more like a scared tone of voice, for fear she might still be in heat. Spike said his in a higher pitch, like when someone says his crush’s name when he sees her. Rarity looked at us in shock, mostly at Shiny, Spike and Silver.

Rarity’s mouth dropped and then rushed back inside. “I that’s her way of saying come in.” I said, which drew several chuckles from them. We walked into the house to see all of the girls staring at us. “Didn’t you that staring is rude?” I said. Rarity harrumphed and looked away. “How about we all take a seat? Isn’t that better than standing?” Twilight said. I nodded and took the seat closest to me.

“Ask away,” I said, leaning back on the chair. The girls and the men (and Twilight) had their little back and forth. It was all ‘how-are-yous’ and ‘how’s-Equestria’ and ‘are-you-sure-we-can-trust-them’ type of questions. I nodded at some points here and there, occasionally answer, but I mostly kept silent. After a while, the girls went back to what they were doing before we arrived, some probably went to sleep; it is 12 in morning after all. Shiny approached me once all of the others are gone.

“Hey, uhh, John is it?” I nodded. “Yeah, thanks for taking care of the girls. And us,” he gestured to the two boys in the back, talking amongst themselves.

“No prob, Shiny. Besides, it’s what you do when you see six girls lost in a blizzard in another world, right?” we shared a short laugh. “And if we didn’t stop to get them, they would probably freak out that black clad humans carrying guns went and subdue them, and Twilight ends up destroying America.”

“Yeah, Twilight would probably do that. Where are your parents?”

“They’re stuck in Boston until New Year, so yeah, we’re safe, for now.” It was December 26, for those of you who are unable to keep track of the date. Should I tell him that me and Twi are dating? Fuck it, let’s do dis!

“Hey uhh, Armor?”

“Yeah?”

“You up for a story?”

“Is it about what is happening here?”

“Kinda. Take a seat, this is a long and possibly… complex and weird… story.”

“Okay….” He took a seat and I began telling him the clusterfuck that transpired yesterday. I do admit that when I look at it now, it did seem kinda funny, if not weird. Maybe because I told the story with a British accent. It’s one or the other. His face when he finished was one with the mixture of mirth and confusion. Even Silver and Spike stopped talking. A few minutes of silence passed before Spike broke it.

“You’re in for a world of pain, bro.” he said with much sympathy.

“I know right?” I said, sinking further into the comfy chair.

“Hey, there’s still a small chance that my sister won’t kill you.” Shining Armor was, surprisingly, calm about me and Twilight dating. I was expecting a beatdown and black eyes and several lost teeth before he understood, but hey, I wasn’t complaining.

“Okay, enough on that. There are only 2 guest bedrooms left so 2 of you guys gotta share.” I said.

“That’s fine with us. Silver, you stay with Spike,” Shiny said. Silver nodded and they went up the stairs.

“You do realize they don’t know where the guest rooms are, right?” Shiny was right. I didn’t say to them where their rooms are. I was hoping they would walk in to one of the girls so they could tell us later what they saw.

“Yup. Just wait for it.” I said. As if on cue, a shriek was heard upstairs. Possibly from Rarity. I laughed and went upstairs, donning my concerned face before I rounded the corner towards the rooms. Rarity was wearing only a bra and a thong and was desperately trying to cover her body with her hands.

“Wait, where the hell did she get that?” I said aloud. I then facepalmed when I saw that she was in my sister’s room. Of course. Spike was staring intently at Rarity and Silver was doing his best not to look, but failing.

“Welp, shit. C’mon guys, leave Rarity to her stuff.”

“Thanks John.” Rarity smiled before using her magic to push S&S outside before closing the door.

“That was weird,” Spike said.

“I agree,” said Silver.

“C’mon, it’s better to leave her alone than for her to rape you.” I said, walking towards the end of the corridors.

“Wait,” Spike said, “Did Rarity… rape you?” He shuddered at the word ‘rape’.

“No, but she attempted to. Twice.” I saw that we were in front of the their room now. “Well, that’s a story for another time. Here’s your room, you got a bathroom inside, and everything you’ll need. Hopefully.”

“Thanks for the help, John.” Spike was still grateful, of course. “I – no, we owe you.”

“The girls already know that, but it’s nice for you to say something like that. Now go to bed.” I said, opening their door. “If you need me, I’ll be in my room.” With that, I turn tail and walked to my room. I wrote a little something something for Shining Armor just in case he opens the wrong door. I post the paper on my door and jumped to bed, readying myself for [what I hope for] a night of comfort.

I woke up in cold sweat at about 2 in the morning. I felt like someone is watching me. I frantically looked around the room for anyone, but I highly doubted that I find any. When you are reading this, I hope you had your fun you sick fuck. I then saw a pair gleaming blue eyes in the corner of my room, but it quickly vanished.

Yup. He really is having fun with me.

I gave the whole room the finger and got back to sleep. Not half an hour later, a knock on my door roused me from sleep.

Goddamnit. Who is it this time?

I got up of bed and opened the door. What I saw was a very flushed looking Twilight Sparkle. She was fiddling with her fingers and was looking down at the floor. I decided to fuck with her and joined her with studying the gorgeous wooden tiled floor that we are standing on. Hey, at least I’m in a somewhat good mood that time that I managed to fuck with her. I mean, my mom had seen worse.

“Thanks for date,” she mumbled after like a minute and a half of studying in awkward silence.

“No prob Twilight. Now I know that you didn’t walk like twenty steps from your room to mine just to tell thanks.”

“C-can I sleep with you?” I groaned.

“Your brother might get the wrong idea.” I say through gritted teeth.

“I’ll… I will tell him the truth… That we are dating.”

“He already knows, Twi,” she gasped at that, “don’t worry, he’s not mad. He’s worried at me for getting at wrong side of you. But I don’t want him to think that were having sex.”

“I’ll tell that we aren’t.” Twilight was… hard to convince. I have a feeling that that’ll be a downside later on. But if she was going to cuddle with me, I’m not complaining.

“If you say so,” I said, rolling my eyes. I stepped aside to let her in. “Let’s just hope that Rarity doesn’t the wrong idea.”

“John?” Twilight said, lying down on the bed, “Why do you hate Rarity?”

“Hate is a strong word, Twi.” I said, lying down next to her. “I don’t necessarily hate her, I just… we don’t usually agree with each other. I have a feeling she’s really a nice lady if get to know her better. Just for now, we don’t get along. And she’s creepy sometimes.” And Pinkie, and Twilight… sometimes. And let’s not forget Jason. If not else, I feel that he’s watching me type this from somewhere, which is a little bit scary considering that the library doesn’t have windows. Anyways, Twilight and I cuddled ourselves to sleep. Nothing much happened, nothing I remember anyways. Twilight might had raped me and cast an amnesia spell on me last night, but I trust her not to do that. Let’s just hope I’m right.

I woke up early the next morning, which was weird since I usually wake up around 1 in the afternoon, this time I woke up at 6 am, which was good, honestly. I found Rarity downstairs at the living room, watching some Disney Channel. She was occasionally laughing here and there, and I admit, she does look kind of cute the way she laughed. I smiled a little before continuing downstairs. I decided to act a little surprised to see her.

“Rarity!” She jumped a little from that. “Fancy seeing you here early.”

“John, dear,” she said, facing towards me, “A lady does know when to wake up as to not ruin her beauty.”

“Don’t bother,” I said, sitting next to her.

“Why is that?”

“Your beauty is already ruined,” her face after I said that was worth it, “Oh what am I saying. You never beautiful in the first place!” I then vaulted over the couch I was sitting on and hid behind the stairs.

“John, dear. Stop acting so childish.”

“Takes one to know one,” I said, sitting again next to her. She lightly smacked my arm and glared at me.

“Are you finished insulting me?”

“Not quite.” I let that sink in for a few minutes before Rarity sighed.

“Why are you so mean to me?”

“I wouldn’t classify that mean but since you asked, well, you kinda painted a bad picture for me Rare. Remember day two?”

“I was in heat…”

“That doesn’t justify that what you did was right was would be excused.”

“What do you want me to do?” she said, almost near tears. I almost feel bad about making her feel bad. Almost.

“It’s obvious Rare,” I waited for a few seconds before Rarity answered.

“I’m sorry John. For trying to rape you and…”

“Alright I think that’s enough,” I said, returning my voice to normal and hugged her. She gasped but soon she melted into the hug. “I forgive you. And yes I do feel like an asshole for what I said. So what do you say, friends?” I released her and held out my hand. She took a second to wipe her tears before accepting my hand.

“Friends.” She smiled. We shook hands briefly before releasing.

“I think I need to hit the kitchen first.” I said, casually drawing my hidden marker that I hid in my back pocket.

“Okay, you do what you need to do.” She smiled before it dropped when she saw my marker. It said that it was permanent, but it was really a whiteboard marker that I stole from my teacher last semester. It was a prank, we switched the ‘skins’ of the two markers, one was the whiteboard marker and one was mine, a permanent one. We put the ‘whiteboard marker’ on the teacher’s desk and when the teacher tried to erase some text, it would come off. The class then went roaring with laughter. Yeah, I was an asshole back then. I poked the cap out and said, “I love you Rarity,” before drawing one long line on the side of her face. When she realized what happened, her eyes seemed to burst with fire. I bolted for the kitchen.

Yup, old habits, die hard. Soon enough, we were giggling as we chase each other throughout the entire house. Today was a good day.

Or not.

Or not.

“John,” Shiny said, “we need to talk.” I gulped.

“Okay,” I said, walking inside his room. Our guest rooms aren’t overly large, but enough to accommodate at least two people living inside it.

“I appreciate the help but…” He paused, “I don’t trust you.” I nodded.

“I understand. You’re in an alien world and one of the aliens is dating your sister.”

“Exactly. I’m just trying to be civil, for the girl’s sake. I know that I may be offending you and I’m sorry but, being a Captain of the Royal Guard and a big brother in an alien world does that to you.”

“Relax sir Armor. I understand. I know it’s hard, being separated from home, with no one to trust. You just have to accept it.” Shiny nodded in agreement.

“I suppose that you’re thinking that this whole talk about you dating my sister. No, well… it was, until Twily herself came to me last night and talked to me. And she did a pretty good job.”

“Easy for her to convince other people but she herself is hard to convince,” I mused, “A very deadly combination. It feels good to be on her side.”

“Yeah, sometimes even I myself is scared of her.”

“Welp, now I’m even more scared of dating her.”

“Relax John, you’ll manage. If I managed to marry a princess, I’m sure you could be able to date the most powerful unicorn on Equestria.” I sighed but nodded.

“Now we’re on the subject, why are you so relax about me dating your little sis anyways?”

“Well, I was kinda… acting last night, just in case you were lying and were going to hurt us. Sorry about that, but now, Celestia’s my witness, what I am saying is real. You have my thanks and my support.” I grinned.

“Wow, that’s… a lot to take in, actually. What is it about me that’s so trusting anyways?”

“I don’t know but you seem like a nice guy.”

“Everyone’s got a darker side, Shiny.”

“I know, and please don’t call me that.”

“Okay Shiny.” He just sighed. I straightened my pose and said, “Well, I believe we’ve got this sorted. A pleasure to meet you, in a more preferable situation, sir Armor.”

“A pleasure to meet you too, John.” We shook hands. I nodded and then headed towards the door. As I was about to close it, Shiny called after me one last time, “Take care of Twily okay?”

“Okay. I can’t even think about the consequences if I don’t.” Shiny chuckled and let me leave. I walked down the stairs then suddenly…

“SUPJOHN!WATCHADOIN?” Pinkie Pie jumped in front of me, her blue eyes almost bulging out of its sockets.

“Uhh, walking down the stairs?”

“Oh yeah. So…. Had a good night sleep?” She was referencing something that I don’t know. Let’s just act oblivious.

“Kinda. Did you see someone enter my room last night?”

“Uhh, Twilight. You two were so cute together.” You start connecting two-and-two together. A picture is slowly becoming visible, but I’m still not sure. Need to take this at a subtle level.

“O-kay. So, did you do anything interesting these past days? Especially last night? I want you to tell me what did you do, and I want you to concentrate what did you do last night.” Subtle as fuck.

“Oh you know.” Goddamnit.

“Pinkie, are you watching me sleep?”

“Yup!” That was eas—wait what?

“Seriously?”

“Yup. Angie and Jason are in the game too. Their hiding behind your furniture.” I heard some clattering of feet as if someone was in rush. A second later, a vase fell down and shattered, but it was outside my field of view and Jason’s raspy voice said, “Shit! Did he notice us?” and some more mumbling.

“Well, that was creepy. Pinkie, I want you to stop this. As in, right now. Or the when-we’re-done-talking now.”

“Okie dokie lokie!” She grinned but just stood there, staring at me with her azure eyes.

“If you want, we can have a slumber party tonight at my tree house.” With that Pinkie seemed to burst with energy and began to frantically jump up and down.

“A PARTY?!”

“Yes Pinkie, a party.” She then gasped so much air than I’d think would be possible, then she exploded into a very… pink… explosion… I coughed a little and tried to bat away the pink smoke. When the smoke cleared, I saw Pinkie wearing a large smile. Not exactly manic but this one is filled with pure, innocent, childish happiness. It actually melted my heart when I saw her like that. And I know what you’re thinking, that’s not gay. It’s called cute, or whatever. Pinkie then began doing Dash’s omigosh scene. Bookworm said something about a Wonderbolt Pegasus shit talked to her and then she was like “omigoshomishomigoshomigoshomigosh!” Over and over again. I imagined that it would be annoying. I was correct.

“A PARTY!” Pinkie shouted after ending her tirade of ‘omigosh’s. “It’s gonna be the bestest party the human world has ever seen!”

“I could only imagine. But word of advice, if you wanna party all night, be sure to turn down the music… or noise. Don’t wanna anger the neighbors.

“Okie dokie lokie!” She then began skipping down the steps, which I didn’t think was possible. I winced as I thought that she’d trip over one of the steps and ended up breaking her calf or… exposing her ankle… But thank God it didn’t happen. I shrugged and continued further down the steps. I saw Dash talking to Jason and Angie. When they saw me they let out a nervous chuckle and pretended that they didn’t saw me. I shrugged again and went to the kitchen. I saw Spike and Silver on the table, with Spike eating some meat and Silver with some veggies. I didn’t know how they made that or if they just found it in the fridge or something, I just shrugged and made myself some scrambled egg with bacon and hotdogs. After I was done I saw down beside Spike.

“Dude, thish meat ish amazhing! How did you did dish?” Spike said through the food in his mouth.

“I better not tell you, just in case you actually got back to Equestria and started hunting cows and cook them. By what I heard, cows are actually a sentient species back there.”

“Yeah, I don’t want to make this either way.”

“Ouch, my feelings.” We chuckled a little and continued eating.

“So,” Spike said after we finished our meals and began to wash the dishes. He was Twilight’s assistant so he knew how to do that stuff, “How was Twilight?”

“Pretty nice, actually. Interesting even, if not somewhat crazy.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“I said crazy through what I heard through her friends, I never actually saw her act like one.”

“Dude trust me. I know.”

“Relax. I know if she acts like one. Takes one to know one after all.”

“Did you just… call yourself crazy?” Spike said, shortly stopping with his dishes.

“Yup. It’s called Shameless Self-Degrading.”

“Stop that dude, it’s unhealthy.”

“John will not subject to other’s wishes. John is a free elf.” I said. Spike chuckled. “Oh shit.” I said after we safely packed the dishes safely to the kitchen cabinet.

“What?” Spike said.

“I forgot to show Twilight something last night! Now she’ll berate me to it. Oh God the horror! Oh woe unto me! WOE I SAY!”

“Dude, there’s a number of grammatically incorrect sentences in what you had said. I recommend to not using those sentences together next time, bro.”

“Now you’re just being a grammar Nazi. Just shut up and let me do my grammar myself.”

“Nah, that’ll probably annoy even more people if you do that, bro. Stop it.”

“Do not question I! John will not listening to what you say any longer!” Spike chuckled.

“Yeah, but seriously stop it.”

“Okay. I will stop use grammar wrong correctly from here on.”

“John.” Spike said sternly.

“Fine, be like that. Geez.” I rubbed the back of head and started whistling an old tune. After a few minutes of bunking on the couches doing nothing, Twilight somewhat groggily walked down the stairs, rubbing her tired, bloodshot eyes. After at least three steps, she slipped, which put both me and Spike in adrenaline mode. Thankfully, she had been able to balance herself by grabbing the side rail. Spike and I shared a look and sighed with relief. He and I had a somewhat… ‘deep’ connection with each other, with both of us caring for Twilight in a more-than-friends way; Spike being a baby-brother-like figure to her and I was… her date, which puts Spike in a higher level of respect from me, but… we get along.

Twilight approached us and promptly fell on a couch that was adjacent to me. I was lying down on a couch and Spike was sitting on the edge of my couch, both of us acting like badasses that were really tired from a dangerous mission, but we failed by a long shot. Although, I was the only one who was tried, getting chased by Rarity all over the house does that to people, and considering that our house was fairly big, about hmmm, 6 or 7 acres wide. Most of the house was used by dad doing his stuff and the house was fairly empty. There was even a room that was considered off limits to me and only mom and dad were only allowed to be in there.

My guesses were 1. Their building a tank or spaceship inside there, 2. A BDSM dungeon and, 3. My parents are actually Satanists that capture virgins at midnight and torture/rape them and then sacrifice their worthless souls to the demon overlord, their screams of bloody murder muffled only by the soundproof stuff that makes up the whole room. 4. It was an ordinary room that was used by mom and dad doing their racer shit and where they probably have sex with cars or something.

I could trade my position with Spike for a day, him getting chased by Rarity and me being closer to Twilight. Although, I love where I was right now, sitting at a chair, writing what happened during the day. I was contempt with my life, although the slow internet could probably change, right? Anyways, Twilight fell unto the couch and snored.

“Did she just… sleepwalk?” I asked.

“Nah she’s still drowsy from sleep.” Spike said, “I gotta wake her up.” Spike walked up to her and whispered something in her ear. Twilight’s head then promptly shot up, her bloodshot eyes frantically searching the room.

“Wha-? Where?” She was still searching the room for nothing, probably in reference to what Spike whispered. I got up and went to the kitchen, making two mugs of steaming hot coffee goodness. I got back a minute later, two mugs in hand. I handed Twilight one mug and began drinking my own.

“What is this?” She asked.

“Coffee. It’s used to waked you up in mornings. Dash and Pinkie are the first ones to taste that yesterday. I figured they already told you.”

“They did but they mentioned that theirs were cold.”

“That was made by Starbucks. That’s made by me.” I deadpanned, “Shut up and drink.” Twilight then reluctantly drank some. She then gagged a moment later from the taste, presumably but continued drinking.

“Woah,” Twilight said as she set down her cup, “This coffee of yours tastes good, though, bitter.”

“Yeah,” I said, setting down my own cup. I sighed in contempt. We sat in silence for a while, then I spoke up.

“Hey Twilight,” I said, “Pinkie’s having a party tonight. Wanna come?”

“Sure. I mean, Pinkie’s parties are the best.”

“I can only imagine. Well, I got things to do Twi, see ya later.” I said, getting off the couch and heading for the library.

“Wait!” Twilight said before I actually got to the hall, “What time does the party start?”

“Uhh, 8 pm. Go tell that to Pinkie, I don’t remember telling her.” I said before heading further into the hall and into the library.

“Okay,” she called after me. Once I got into the room, I saw Fluttershy reading some book about animals. She was sitting on the only couch in the room, lying on her chest and reading intently.

“Hey Flutters,” I said. She stiffened before relaxing when she realized that it was just me.

“Oh, hey John.” She said, her voice in her usual silky, cute little tone of voice. I actually got the urge to hug her tight and never let go, but considering that I was still dating Twilight, I postponed it until New Year. Since I could do anything I want on New Year, I figured that’s when I gonna do most of my planned shenanigans. “The animals of your world are so… different, yet so similar at the same time. They’re wonderful!”

“I can imagine.” I said, sitting down next to her. “Pinkie’s having a party tonight at eight. Remember the tree house?” She nodded, “That’s where she’s holding it.”

“C-can you…” She mumbled. I raised my head from my balled up fist that I was using to support my head and raised an eyebrow.

“What was that?”

“I-I said,” more mumbles.

“I’m sorry, I can’t hear you. she’s holding it.”

“C-can you…” She mumbled. I raised my head from my balled up fist that I was using to support my head and raised an eyebrow.

“What was that?”

“I-I said,” more mumbles.

“I’m sorry, I can’t hear you. You gotta speak up ‘Shy.”

“Can you, carry me again down the zipline?” She asked then promptly blushed and looked away.

“Uhh, sure.” I said.

“…” You could practically hear the ellipsis.

“Uhh,” I said, trying to break the awkward silence, “We can help Pinkie prepare the tree house.”

“But Pinkie doesn’t need any help arranging her parties.” She said, remnants of a blush are still visible on her face.

“C’mon. It’ll be fun.” I said, offering my hand to Fluttershy and pulled her off the couch. I’ll skip the part where we cleaned the whole tree house. It’s been almost a year since I was last up there (not counting yesterday and the day before that). We found a lot of hidden cabinets, presumably used by the last owners of the house. And inside of the cabinets we found a lot of interesting stuff, specifically guns: A 9mm, a Colt M4A1, a SCAR-H and a XM8. This tree house was probably a 1. safe house; 2. A den for criminals; 3. A last ditch resort option by the previous tenants in case of a.) zombie apocalypse, b.) terrorist attack c.) nuclear fallout; 4. An attempt to frame a crime on the previous tenants; 5. Government property.

I had to make sure Fluttershy or anyone didn’t touch the guns, in case of reason number 2. If this was used for a crime, and we left our fingerprints on it, we’re screw. I grabbed a towel and put back the guns back into the hidden cabinets. I made sure to put it all in safe mode and remove the magazines in case Pinkie finds them and decides to fuck with the guns. I was beginning to doubt that partying on a tree house full of weapons is a bad idea, but I trusted my gut this time. Besides, if somehow a terrorist manages to attack our subdivision, we had a chance to fight back. Of course, a chance.

After thirty-something minutes, we collapsed on the couch. I didn’t remember much but when I woke up I saw blue eyes staring into my soul. I pushed Pinkie off of me and saw that the entire room was decorated for a party. Ballons, streamers, games, alcohol… Wait, alcohol?

“Pinkie?” I turned towards her. She was beaming, “Where did you get the beer?”

“Oh that? It’s not beer silly. That what you humans call ‘Iced Tea’. I tried them and they tasted great.” I let out a sigh of relief, though I still took a sip just to be sure. Sure enough, it tasted like iced tea, its minty sweet flavor leaving a nice taste in my mouth.

“Pinkie,” I said once again, “Did you see any hidden cabinets around?”

“Oh yeah. There’s a bunch of them lying around the tree house. Did you know about them?”

“Yeah, but did you see the guns inside them?” I asked.

“Ooh, that’s what it’s called. I saw some of the long, pipe, black things in some of the closets. But I didn’t touch them considering you humans are retarded sometimes.” I smiled and patted her on the head like a dog.

“Good Pinkie. You’re learning. Who’s a good girl? Who’s a good girl?” I cooed, Pinkie barking and her tongue lolling out. I stopped patting her and stood up. Pinkie somehow managed to scratch her ear with her feet like a dog would. If I see her in her pony form I would probably shrug it off, but since I saw a human do that… it was kinda freaky.

“O-kay,” I said, looking around the room once again, “I think it’s time to get the girls and Jase and Angie.”

“Okie dokie lokie! WE’RE GONNA ROCK THIS WORLD!” Pinkie screamed and dashed out of the tree house, leaving a Pinkie-shaped cloud in her wake. I looked down the balcony and saw Pinkie going inside the house and sighed.

I got a bad feeling about this. Brain said, sighing into my mind which made my head vibrate softly, leaving a little dizzy than it should.

Author's Note

Holy crap. 10K words. Well, I hope you read through it all cause I'm gonna be sad if you don't.