A one-shot that I wrote for Anon in Equestria's 700th thread over on /mlp/.

Living in Fillydelphia has taught you a lot about how getting up in the world works. You have to look out for yourself, otherwise everything goes up in flames. But when you see a flyer informing you of a celebration in Canterlot, where the jewels of the kingdom will be on-display for all to see, will you resort to petty theft to collect your fortune?

Of course you will. Because the world can kiss your glorious ass for all you care.

Featuring a musical cover of "Robot Hell" by the author himself. Meaning me. Enjoy the tears of my shame.

Also, first Bender post I see of someone saying something along the lines of "you know what it is" gets the boot. One of my spiked rocker boots from back in high school.