James Rolfe stepped into the game room wearing his usual white shirt with the pocket full of pens. Suddenly, he entered 'angry' mode and began babbling some swear words to himself. He walked in front of the camera, sat down on the couch, and held up an NES game cartridge while simultaneously yelling "ASSSSSSSS!"

The cartridge had a logo that read, "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic".

"You know, I don't recall seeing this game in my collection before. It's probably because I don't notice the shittiest of games... well, actually, since I did see and review Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, so that theory is bullshit," said the Angry Video Game Nerd. He made a disgusted face as a picture of the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde game floated next to him, and punched it away.

"Well, since I have nothing else to say, let's pop this fucker in and prepare for torture."

He put the cartridge into his NinToaster, turned it on, and his jaw dropped when he heard a song being to play. "The fuck is this shit?! It's playing a horrible song that sounds like the original My Little Pony theme song, except worse! I'd rather shove a donkey's testicles in my ears than listen to this!" he yelled.

"Anyway, when the game starts up, you see a title screen that's extremely boring. Just a blue background with some clouds. The only interesting part of it is that heart in the logo. You know how hearts represent love? Well I know I sure as hell won't be loving this game!"

"There's only 1 option, and that's to start game. Simple enough, I guess. But after you press start, there's a stage select screen that looks fucking identical to the Mega Man 1 version! RIPOFFS LIKE THIS ARE SHITLOADS OF COCKGOBBLING FUCK! Basically you choose from six ponies, each with stupid ass names. Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy? The hell? If I made this game, I'd name them Turkeytits, RapeRooster, and Fuckershit. Yeah."

AVGN chose Pinkie Pie's stage, and she jumped down and did a pose, holding a cupcake.

"Yeah, hold out your cupcake so I can choke you with it!" he exclaimed angrily.

The stage appeared in front of him. AVGN's jaw dropped once more, this time making him flip off the TV screen. Pinkie's 8-bit face took up the entire screen.

"WHY IS THE PONY BLOCKING THE GAME?! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO MOVE THROUGH THE LEVEL?! Well, simple answer, you don't. You have to mash the select button six times and then press A. It fires an explosive cupcake that knocks her out, and you gain points from defeating her sorry ass, or in this case, flank. Not like I'm fucking surprised the bosses seem to be easy as hell in a game like this anyway."

The game went back to the stage select, and this time he chose Rarity. She jumped down and did a pose, levitating a dress in front of her with magic. Meanwhile, the Nerd pulled out a beer and drank it as he watched.

"Okay, so this level is an actual level this time. But why the fuck are the enemies all a bunch of dildos?! Alright alright, they're actually needles, and I'm assuming 'Rarity' uses them for making clothes or some shit. Needles, though, fucking deadly enemies I tell you. Lucky I'm not playing as Mega Man in this situation, he'd be fucked."

AVGN realized he hadn't spoken about who you play as yet.

"Fuck, all this diarrhea inducing gaming garbage made me forget to explain your character. You play as some ugly pink guy holding a water gun. WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY THINKING?! They should have made him be like Rambo and carry around a huge twelve-gauge and kill everything in sight. But no, we have this weak shitfucker. For whatever reason, the water gun can kill every fucking thing you see instantly. Doesn't make any fuckin' sense to me, but niether does a pink ass dildo walking across the screen fighting off sewing materials."

As he progressed through the stage he explained how uncreative Hasbro were with copying some Zelda enemies and called them lazy horsehumpers. Finally, he reached the boss room.

"So, after a whole level of boring, ballsucking bullshit we finally get to fight the boss. Basically when you first enter, Rarity appears with her pussy magic and -"

"Hey, darling Nerd, you talk a lot of inpolite trash! I will fight you like a true lady, and you should do the same, since you haven't done anything but say garbage about my friends and I!" Rarity confidently said, with an 8-bit sound.

"THE FUCK?! THE GAME JUST TALKED TO ME!!!! Yeah, that's some creepy as fuck gimmick with this game. The bosses actually talk to you. Well, since it can understand me, how about this?!" AVGN explained.

He turned to the screen and starting shooting the water gun at her hair.

"Yeah, take that you dumb bitch! Horses make shitty bosses and you are no exception!"

Rarity cried as her hair was ruined and disappeared in a flash of light. AVGN went back to explaining.

"She's such a fucking pushover. If she gets that upset over water in her hair, I wonder how she'd like it if a stallion came over to her and blew his load all over her! Yeah, that'd teach her REAL well. So that's two out of six stages finished. You better be ready to go to Hasbro's headquarters and kill the motherfuckers, because after I'm done with this, you're going to be in my army of gaming justice. We'll stop Hasbro from making any more SHITTY GAMES!!!"

He turned back to the TV and selected Fluttershy. She flew down and did a pose in which she held a rabbit and cuddled it.

"Yeah, cuddle that bunny while you can Fuckershit, I'm gonna shove it up your equine asshole."

The Nerd was not prepared for what happened next.

"What was that, you lazy biped bitch?" Fluttershy replied back, staring at him.

Author's Note

I randomly had this idea pop into my head, so I decided to go ahead and write an AVGN fic. XD