Insanity

Change.

Hell of a word. I thought.

Such a strange word; Its very meaning can't make up its mind. Either insignificant and easily forgotten, or monumental, life changing. Either good, or bad; that’s up to a different word to decide, fate. Both words show themselves in my existence often enough to make me think they want to be seen. Change plays its role well enough to allow me to question fate.

I escaped my thoughts for a moment and looked down onto the courtyard below. I was on guard duty, keeping a watchful eye during my patrol of the second floor of the castle, west side. Standing out on one of the many balconies, I watched the new recruits march below, motivated by the obnoxious screaming of Rex. I laughed quietly. Dam bastard made my life hell, but he was a good guy. Everyone saw him as the gentle giant. The menacing, large, scarred beast of a man actually had a heart, when he wasn’t training the new recruits that is.

I looked back up into the vastness outside, past the courtyard. Change. Lots of things changed in the past few weeks. Some for the good, many for the bad. I had progressed through a few ranks, granting me a higher status and making my word noticeable, I had gained my town's approval through manual labor and the up keeping of peace, and I made lasting bonds with my friends. I smiled, content with the good changes. Unfortunately good things come at a price, and I began to question the holiness of my new home.

Something so destructive, so painful, so consequential that it was made an impossibility for my slice of heaven. The residents, although many still wary of me, were accepting and kind. Crime was a minimal and consisted mainly of petty robbery or brawling. The whole nation radiated warmth, peace, and security. Pain was foreign and strange. Violence was a last resort and not an excuse to cause meaningless harm.

All this made me question my sanity first, and Celestia's judgment second. The unbelievable rumors of war were spreading among the higher ups. I was lucky, although not up there just yet, I overhead the growing tensions with the neighboring nation and how Celestia was being pushed toward the edge, pushed toward war.

I sighed. What is this place coming to? Why is it that after I jump over one set of obstacles there is another, larger set of them to go over? More importantly, would I fight? I couldn’t say I haven't hurt anyone, but I surely haven’t killed anyone and I wasn’t planning to anytime soon. But, would I do it if asked? Would I take lives for the sake of my nation and my friends?

Dammit. I dropped into my arms, letting my hands slide over my helmet. So much has been asked from me already and my emotions are stretched as thin as they can go. I thought of my friends, of Dash, of the happy citizens and how every day I was met with a smile and a friendly hello. I began to get agitated again. No-one and nothing was going to take them away from me. I fought so hard for my place, and if others want to take it away from me, then they'll have to come and get it.

"Well, if it isn't the man of the hour! Why so down Artyom, promotion weighing you down or did ol' Red Eyes keep his promise?" Remarked Patches, a trained combat medic and my closest male friend. I looked back, my thought bubble popped. His long blue hair stuck out of his helmet again and came to a stop at his white cheek. He was smiling wide, and genuine happiness radiated from his large, blue eyes.

While everyone distanced themselves from me on my first few days, Patches remained enthusiastic toward me. He kept me company while I ate alone, was my training buddy during group activities, and an open ear to hear out any manly troubles. We had soon grown inseparable, and became acknowledged by the others after our good performance as a team. I had made new friends with him around, and I helped keep the bullies off of him.

I looked forward again, leaning on my crossed arms.

"No. Just thinking."

"You're always thinking Artyom, you do that too often and you'll be lost in your own head." He was leaning on the balcony next to me now. "What is it? Red Eyes? If it is, you know he isn't going anywhere. No need to worry."

Red Eyes was the recruit manager the first few days I was a guard. He was a devil of a man. The fact that he was red, had red eyes, and shaggy red hair really supported that idea; luckily he was missing a pitchfork. He made the lives of all the recruits hell, beating them, screaming, and conducting things in a non-professional manner. Everyone hated him, but we all feared him too much to report it or stand up. One rainy day he forced us all out with nothing more than our helmets and began to bark orders, hitting anyone who he deemed was slacking or annoying. Patches was next to me, shivering like the rest of us. Red Eyes came up to him and kicked his arm out from under him during push-ups. As he fell on his face Red Eyes barked at him:

"SLACKING OFF ARE WE PATCHES!? HOW ABOUT I TEACH YOU A LESSON FOR YOUR INCOMPETENCE!"

He then kicked him square in the head, right under his horn. I lost it and sprang up, sucker punching him in the jaw and restraining him once he was on the ground.

It took a few moments to get me off of him, partially because I was seeing red, and partially because everyone liked seeing him get beaten. A few senior guards restrained me while the recruits tended to Patches.  Upon further investigation it was established that Red Eyes had been abusing recruits for a year now. He was stripped of his position and arrested, but not without swearing and promising to ruin me all the while being dragged by two senior guards, his old students. I was given a promotion the next day and gained a good amount of credit from the other guards. Rex soon replaced him as our trainer, and some of us started to miss Red Eyes.

"Yea, you're right." I replied, lying. He didn’t know of the war yet, few did. There was no reason to tell him now.

"That's the spirit! Anyway Mr. Romance, how you feeling about today? You ready to impress her like you planned, or you going to sit here and think all day?"

I blushed, looking the other way. "Uh, I still have a few more hours of my shift left. I'm not sure if I can do it today. I, didn’t even get the flowers." I was lying again, at least about the flowers part.

"Non-sense you big chicken. Go! Get out of here, it's late as it is. I'll cover for you." Patches said, pushing me back into the castle.

"But, I…"

"No buts, you planned this for too long and you already made a date, get… OUT!" he yelled, giving me a final push and waving me off before turning around.

"Hey Patches."

"What?" he asked, turning around and glaring at me.

"Thanks." I replied, and watched him smile and laugh as he walked out into the balcony again.

I walked out of the castle nervous. The fact that the two stone-faced guards at the entrance laughed, and wished me luck made me that much more self-aware. On the list of positive changes was the closing of the distance between Dash and I. Although nothing had been said openly, our relationship had been growing ever closer, and our friends were beginning to notice. Today was my big day. I had been planning a date with her for far longer than I would like to admit. 3 days ago I finally did it. I asked her out, looking like a nervous wreck and a horny teenager. To my surprise she accepted and agreed to meet me at Twilight's/my house.

I had planned this all in my head and played it over and over looking for mistakes. I had found none and decided to go with it. I got home early, showered, and began to pace in the living room while waiting for Twilight to come home.  She was essential to my plan, and I paced back and forth, praying she didn’t forget. You can do this man, it's going to be alright. Nothing to worry about, she'd done it before. This is going to be the best day ever, relax, and focus.

"Ahh!" I jumped, my thoughts were interrupted by a sudden "Hello." My punctual friend was standing in the doorway, giggling.

"Nervous?" Twilight teased, setting down the groceries she bought and moving to the shelves to pick out a spell book.

I just glared at her, slightly furious of the way she played with me on such an important day, but common sense kicked in soon and I broke down laughing.

"Yea Twilight, just been a long day and now this… I'm not sure I can take it."

"You have to relax. Look at me." She commanded, standing next to me. She brought her arm to her chest and took a deep breath. I mimicked her. As she extended her arm and breathed out, I did too.

"Thanks Twilight, I feel much better now."

She smiled. "Good, now, you ready for this? It won't hurt, but I haven't used it on humans yet."

"Now or never I suppose. Do it."

I had convinced Twilight to use a spell of hers that allowed non-winged residents to walk on clouds. I planned to have Dash show me around Cloudsdale while we went to anything that looked cool enough to go to. I gulped once before I was hit by Twilights spell. It tingled a bit, and I opened my eyes to meet her concerned look.

"How do you feel?" She asked.

There was a knock on the door and I moved to unlock it, making sure to grab my bits.

"I'm about to find out" I responded before opening the door.

"Dashie, you look stunning as always." I said. Dash was at the door and although her tomboyish nature didn’t lead to anything extraordinary, I could see she took extra time into her looks and ended up looking fantastic as always.

She blushed for only a second. "Thank you, you look great yourself." she responded, giving me a quick judgmental look up and down. It's little things like that that made me grow attached to Dash. She was tough and didn’t share her feelings often, me being the only exception. I became good at catching her small, cute, little motions that showed off her feminine side.

"So what is it that you had planned to do today?" She asked.

"Well, I thought you could finally give me a tour of Cloudsdale. We'll see where things go from there."

"Cloudsdale, but how will yo-?" I saw the idea click. "Did you?"

"Yup, so you game?"

"I'm game." She responded, giving a smile to Twilight, who was standing behind me, listening intently.

"Let's go then, I'm using a hot air balloon that I rented and I really want to get that part of today over with." I began to lead Dash to where I had the balloon tied down, and turned around to face Twilight. "Thanks Twilight, don’t wait up."

"Have fun you two!" She responded, smiling, and closed the door.

***

"I REALLY hope this thing is study." I said, climbing into the hot air balloon and offering my hand to Dash."

"You know how to fly this?" Dash asked once inside.

I gave her a hard look, smiled, and replied: "Not a clue." before letting go of the rope that held us to the ground.

We got to Cloudsdale in one piece and I mounted the balloon to the best of my ability. Upon taking my first step onto a cloud, Dash nearby and ready to act, I was surprised by the texture. It was soft and molded perfectly to my shoes while still feeling sturdy enough to hold my weight.

"Awesome." I said, smiling at Dash who returned it. I returned my attention to the amazing city. It was made out of clouds, but still radiated many colors and general feeling of wonder. "Where do we begin?" I asked.

"Uh, we can start at the Rainbow Factory if you want."

"That sounds great." I replied.

We were off. The day melted away as Dash took me to all sorts of eye catching destinations, sharing laughs and all in all having a great time with me. We stopped traveling only once when she told me about an amazing restaurant, and I took us there for dinner. The day passed smoothly, other than me flashing a quick glare at a certain trio, and soon it was night time. Dash and I were at a coliseum type arena now. Alone. It was closing time, and many residents went home while Dash and I snuck in. We found seats on the highest row overlooking the whole stadium.

"And this is where I won the junior fliers tournament and saved Rarity's life by flying fast enough to make a Sonic Rainboom." Dash stated, taking a seat and catching her breath after a long day of touring. She had done most of the talking, but I didn’t mind. I loved to watch her.

"That's pretty awesome." I replied, like I had most of the night, mostly focused on her than her recollections.

We just sat there for a moment, cooling off after the long day and overlooking the quiet scenery.

"Dashie." I began, hesitant. "I… you're awesome." I started. Dam those beautiful eyes, I can't focus. She watched me, knowing exactly what I wanted to say and do. She saw me struggle and started to lean closer. "I mean, I want to say-" I was soon interrupted by her. She leaned in close and ended my struggle quickly, catching me off guard. Her lips are soft. I thought, closing my eyes and letting instinct take over.

Fate apparently had a lot in store for me, but today I was alright with its decisions. After today, I knew a lot of things would

Change.