Chapters Nightmare Night had begun once again in Ponyville. The cool air of the night gave an eerie sensation of mild suspense. Houses were dressed in horror-themed decoration while the children disguised themselves in costumes. The public library had sales of classic horror novels the weeks prior to the night. Candy shops and bakeries created sugary sweets for the little ones. Even the adults could not resist the lure of their yearning for youth.
Most of the town would gather in the park for the annual Nightmare Night festival, co-hosted by Mayor Mare and Princess Luna. Ever since her return from banishment, her subjects had no reason to fear her, thanks to the efforts of Twilight Sparkle. Zecora will also be present to add extra flavor to the fun-filled terror. Twilight also helped Ponyville realize that Zecora was not an evil enchantress, but an ordinary zebra who knew a great deal of magic as she does.
It was hours before the festival officially began at the park. The sun was still shining so it would not be as scary until later. Twilight was in her room putting on her Starswirl the Bearded costume she had the year before. As futile as it was, she refused to stop wearing it. Other ponies would mistake her for some ridiculous costume idea, but that did not stop her.
Feeling somewhat uncomfortable from the silence, she turned on the radio. The radio was a recent invention, but quickly gain tremendous acclaim. Anypony could listen to their favorite music station, talk shows, or listen their favorite sports team. Twilight prefers to listen to classical music whenever she working or reading. A moment later, she completed her costume with the final piece - her hat. While she admired herself on the mirror, the announcer on the radio began to speak.
“You were just listening to Melodic Maestro’s Harmony Symphony No. 4. At seven-thirty we will have a special presentation from Orson Hooves at the Canterlot Mystery Theatre. The presentation will be--”
“Maybe later,” Twilight said. Before the announcer could finish his sentence, Twilight cut him short by turning off the radio. Twilight darken her room and exited. “Spike, are you almost ready?” she called out to her assistant.
“I’m just about ready Twilight,” Spike called from across the room. “I’m just putting the finishing touches on my costume.”
Twilight levitated a nearby bowl of candy close to her, in case children - or Pinkie Pie - will come at their front door. She looked at the clock on the wall - five o’clock. Almost time for the annual begging of the sweets. While she placed the bowl on a stool near the front door, she heard little claws coming up to her.
“Are you finished with your costume Spi--”
Twilight paused mid-sentence when she locked eyes unto Spike. His costume was incredibly outlandish; his attire consist of a small grey body suit, while also wearing black briefs. He had black gloves and boots on his hands and feet. His face was covered in a weird black mask with pointy ears and he had a cape on his back. The last thing she noticed was the bat symbol on his chest. Confusion loomed over Twilight.
“Umm Spike... what are you supposed to be?”
“I am vengeance. I am the night. I. Am. Batmane!” Spike proclaimed with authority.
“...Who?”
Spike slumped at Twilight’s question. “You know, Batmane. His parents were killed when was little? He fights crime in Trotham City. His archenemy is a psychotic pony in clown makeup? That Batmane?”
“...I never heard of him,” she said while not trying to be blunt.
“Really Twilight? You don’t know who Batmane is?”
“I’m sorry Spike. I don’t read a lot of comic books as you do.”
“Hey! They’re not comic books. They’re graphic novels,” Spike said sternly.
The two of them heard knocks on the door, followed by giggling of children. Spike grabbed a bowl of chocolate bars and did his best superhero action pose. He opened the door and saw three little fillies’ bright smiles and colorful costumes.
“Nightmare Night,
What a fright,
Give us something sweet to bite!”
“Wow! Cool costume!” one of them exclaimed.
“Thanks!” Spike said happily.
“Are you supposed to be a vampire?”
“What? A vampire? I’m Batmane!” Spike again performed his best action pose to impress the little fillies. All the baby dragon gained in return were furrowed brows. Frustrated, he put chocolate bars in their baskets while grumbling to himself.
“And here’s some from me,” Twilight said while pouring her contents into their baskets. The fillies giggled at her costume.
“I like your costume, too!” another one said.
“Awww, thank you. You know who I’m supposed to be?”
“Oh, I know!” called out a little colt from behind. “You’re that old wizard from Harry Trotter!”
The other children laughed at his answered. Twilight, however, was had same reaction as Spike. She pour the remaining candy treats into their baskets while grumbling to herself. She closed the door behind her and levitated the basket into the stool. Spike was in front of her, leaning on a wall and giving her a smirk.
“Don’t Spike. Just. Don’t.”
The production crew of the Canterlot Mystery Theatre was preparing for their Nightmare Night special. Two unicorns were that were responsible for the sound effects made sure the machines were on the right tone. A mare prepared the sound booth for the actors, while three other ponies were looking over the scripts. While everypony in the studio got ready for the performance, a nervous unicorn mare was talking to a producer.
“Are you sure ponies will tune in to this? Everypony knows Nightmare Night is one of the nights ponies don’t listen to the radio. Why did he chose this day?” she asked desperately.
“Don’t worry Miss Studio Executive,” Talent Scout reaffirmed. “Mr. Hooves knows how to gather an audience for his shows. And adults don’t go door to door asking for candy; so we will have a sizeable audience with them,” he said with no hint of worry.
“I hope so! It’s bad enough the studio hired an unknown while overlooking professional directors,” Miss Executive coldly said.
“I will assure you that Orson Hooves is not an unknown. He is an accomplished playwright, actor and director in the theatre scene. Two of his plays won the Equestria Stage Actors Guild award. I’m sure he will bring to the table the greatest radio performance the world has ever heard.”
Miss Executive was still skeptical about Orson Hooves. Sure he had a successful career in theatre, but radio was an entirely new medium, something she thought he was inexperienced in. Before she could speak her mind, she was interrupted by the sound of a stallion reciting his lines.
“Excuse me sir, but could you please do that somewhere else?” she asked the actor in annoyance.
“Sorry, ma’am. I was just practicing my lines,” the actor apologized.
“Well, go practice them in another location! Like say... over there!” Miss Executive was not really pointing in any particular direction, she just wanted the actor out of her sight. The actor follow suit and slowly walked away. “I need a drink. I’ll be right back.”
Somewhere in the studio, a stallion was in his dressing room practicing his lines for the coming show. Months of preparation, rehearsals, and studio funding was not enough to shake off the nervousness he had in him. Despite the feelings of uneasiness, he made a straight face and brushed all the thoughts out of his head.
“Orson Hooves, tonight’s the big night,” he said to his reflection on the mirror. “If this goes as planned, you can do your next big project.” He opened his drawer and pulled out a script he was writing for four years prior to the Nightmare Night special. The script he held in his very hooves was the very thing that will put him on the map in the entertainment industry. A tragedy about the rise and fall of powerful publishing tycoon. He could not think of a title for it, but whatever it will be called, it was going to be his masterpiece.
While Orson was imagining the possibilities for his script, his ears perked at the sound of knocks on his door. He called for the pony to come inside. A grey unicorn with a dark brown mane entered his dressing room holding the script to tonight’s performance.
“Script Doctor, how’s things?” Orson asked.
“Well, we made the changes as you said. We also removed the part with the lightning strikes entirely. And we also change the machines from walking tripods to flying saucers.”
“Excellent,” Orson said. After taking a moment to think, he turned to Script Doctor. “On second thought, change them back to walking tripods. Flying saucers are just... unrealistic.”
“Uh... alright.” Script Doctor used his magic to switch the selected words from saucers to tripods. Suddenly, another stallion entered the room. This time, a yellow earth pony stallion with orange hair a clipboard walked up to Orson.
“Are you sure about this? You think ponies won’t believe it’s real?” Harley asked cautiously.
“Of course not! Aliens landing on earth and exterminating all of ponykind? Even if extraterrestrial life indeed exist, it’s highly improbable. Nopony in their right mind will think it’s really happening,” Orson said with no concern in his voice. “That’s why it’s called science fiction.” He took a quick glance at his watch and smiled.
“Six o’clock. In another hour, we will put on the most terrifying show in Equestria!” Orson trotted out of his dressing room, laughing with himself. Script Doctor and Harley stood there, bewildered at the young stallion.
“Script Doctor, you work with him a lot. Are you sure he knows what he’s doing?” Harley asked.
“I’m not entirely sure. He’s a brilliant stallion, but he is... well, let’s just say he is allergic to failure.”
“... What does that mean?”
“It means he’s allergic to failure.”
It was nearly evening when Twilight and Spike made it to the park. They came just in time for the Nightmare Night festivities. Little fillies and colts gathered around for a game of bobbing for apples. The children and adults were entering other games and contests just to win more candy. Another section had the adults in a square dance session. And Big Macintosh was driving a cart full of ponies for the hayride. Twilight instantly spotted Applejack among the crowd - she was supervising a horseshoe pitching game.
“Howdy, Twilight! I see yer still donning that folk singer costume,” Applejack jokingly said to the unicorn. Twilight let out a low annoyed groan while Spike was laughing under his breath. “And who are you supposed to be, Spike?”
“I’m Batmane,” Spike said trying to imitate the low gruff voice of his hero.
“... Huh. Never heard of him.”
To say Spike was irritated would be an understatement.
“Thanks, but it’s Starswirl the Bearded. I will not rest until everypony knows who I am,” she said proudly. “So where are the others?”
“Pinkie is off with some of the youngsters somewhere, and Rainbow Dash is tryin’ to get Fluttershy to come out of her house. Not an easy task if you ask me,” she said.
“And Rarity?”
“Welp, as you may know, she on a date with her special somepony,” she commented as she wink at them. When Spike heard those words, his heart was filled with fiery rage for the stallion that stole his beloved away from him. He clenched his claws and grind his teeth and his eyes had become engulfed in flames. Applejack gave a questioning look at Twilight.
“Don’t worry about Spike. He’ll probably forget all about it by tomorrow... I hope.”
Just then, a group of children came running and laughing into the park. They carried baskets filled with candy and were eager to get more. Behind them was a pink pony wearing a giant banana costume. Twilight facehoofed, know this mare all too well.
“Hey guys! Isn’t this great? This is much better than last year! Check out all the candy I got!”
Pinkie showed Twilight, Applejack, and Spike her huge collection of candy - it was nearly the size of a mountain. The three of them wondered how she would avoid a visit to the dentist the next day.
“I love Nightmare Night! Everypony’s in costume and you get candy for it! Oh I wish I can do this everyday!”
“Uh Pinkie, don’t ya think yer a little old to be dressing up and asking for candy and such?” Applejack asked.
“Oh Applejack, there’s never an age limit for FUN!” Pinkie exclaimed. She stopped for a moment and noticed Twilight had the same costume as last year. “Twilight, why are you dressed as my Uncle Loki?”
“Your uncle? Pinkie, I’m Starswirl the Bearded! The Greatest Unicorn who ever lived!”
“Hmmm. I still say you look like my uncle,” Pinkie said amusingly. “Wow Spike, that’s one cool costume!” she said in amazement.
“Thanks Pinkie, I worked really hard on it,” Spike said proudly.
“I’ll say! Not a lot of ponies can pull-off a Changeling like you can,” she added.
Spike took a deep breath and swallowed his bitterness.
“Hey, where’s Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy?” asked Pinkie. “They’re going to miss all the fun, fun, fun!”
“Dontcha worry there, Pink. They should be here any minute now,” replied Applejack.
As if on cue, the three mares and baby dragon saw Rainbow Dash shoving a spazzing Fluttershy into the park. Rainbow Dash had an entirely new costume this year. Instead of her Thunderbolt costume, she was dressed as her favorite adventurer, Daring Do. She wore a green jacket and had a white hat on her head.
“Hey guys, wazzup? Sorry we’re late. It took me forever to get Fluttershy out of her room,” replied Dash. The group looked at the quivering Fluttershy locked in the fetal position. Spike tried to get close to her in a friendly manner.
“Don’t worry, Fluttershy. Nothing will--”
“DON’T TOUCH ME!” Fluttershy shrieked. She quickly hid behind Rainbow’s back.
“Yeah, it’s been like that all day. You won’t believe how many locks she has on her front door.”
“Well Rainbow Dash, I told you before - I don’t think it was good idea to bring her out this night,” Applejack said.
“Come on, Applejack. Everypony loves to get scared once in awhile,” Dash reasoned.
“Not this pony,” Fluttershy said from behind Rainbow’s back.
“Just wait until Princess Luna comes! It’s gonna be so great! And really scary!” Pinkie excitedly commented. “And mean really really scary. She gonna come on a dark, scary chariot and bats fly out her cape, and - oh, oh, she has glowing eyes and screams everywhere and--”
“THAT’S ENOUGH!” Fluttershy shrieked. She jumped from behind Dash’s back and ran away at another location. She managed to push some bystanders onto the ground. The cyan pegasus groaned and flew after her - only to come back to comment on Spike and Twilight’s costumes.
“Wow, Twilight. I didn’t know you were a fan of the Solar Battles comics!”
“Solar Battles? Rainbow, I’m Starswirl the Bearded!” Twilight said bitterly.
“Really? I could have sworn you were dressed as Poni-Wan Kenobi,” Rainbow commented. “And who are you, Spike? Darth Neighder?” she asked.
“...Yes. I’m Darth Neighder from Solar Battles,” Spike said with no emotion.
“That’s cool! Now if you excuse me, I have to find Fluttershy!”
Rainbow Dash flew away faster than the speed of sound to search for her timid friend. Twilight and Spike both stared coldly into space.
“Don’t just stand there, you two! We got lot’s of games, contests and such! Go have some fun!” Applejack happily suggested. Pinkie hopped along the way while chanting “Fun! Fun! Fun!” Just then, a stallion whose entire body was wrapped in strips of white sheets went up to Twilight. He sported a leather jacket and wore sunglasses. He looked up and down her costume before commenting.
“Hush...”
And he walked away.
“...”
“What the heck?”
The Nightmare Night festival continued throughout the night. Mayor Mare would later give signal to prepare for Princess Luna’s arrival. The ponies spent their time either gathering candy or socializing. A section of the festival was hosting a dance marathon, with a nearby radio playing music.
Three children wandered around the park, Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Pipsqueak. Pipsqueak wore his pirate costume again this year, while Apple Bloom was dressed as Discord and Scootaloo was in a Wonderbolt uniform. They all carried bags full of candy and were searching for one more member of their group.
“Where did Sweetie Belle ran off to?” Scootaloo asked.
“She couldn't have gone that far,” Apple Bloom commented. “We just got here.”
“You don’t think she’s afraid to see Princess Luna, do you?” Scootaloo asked. “I know I would be.”
“Don’t worry! Princess Luna is the nicest pony in whole world,” Pipsqueak proclaim. “She wouldn't scare little fillies on purpose.”
“I know, it’s just that... well, she used to be Nightmare Moon,” Scootaloo said nervously.
“She’s not like that anymore. She only turns into Nightmare Moon for fun now,” Pipsqueak corrected her.
“Ah hope so. I’m sure if Sweetie Belle saw her again, she’d wet herself,” Apple Bloom joked. In reality, she would probably do the same thing as well.
The children were finally in the center of the park, where the festival games and activities took place. The trio searched high and low for Sweetie Belle. They spent several long minutes searching for the little unicorn until they encountered Applejack, Apple Bloom’s elder sister.
“Apple Bloom. You and yer friends enjoying the night?” she asked her little sister.
“Yeah, we are. We’re just having trouble finding Sweetie Belle. Have you seen her?”
“The last time I saw her, she was dancing her flank off in the dance competition,” Applejack said laughing. “I’ll tell ya, she dances better than Twilight,” she added with good humor. The three little ponies ran to the dancing competition just in time to see that Sweetie Belle had already formed an audience. The crowd cheered on the blissfully ecstatic unicorn. Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Pipsqueak stood in disbelief at the sight of their friend’s awkward dancing. It was not until afterward that Sweetie realized her friends were there.
“Hi girls! Hi Pipsqueak! I’m just shaking my groove thang!”
“Yeah... we can see that,” Scootaloo said awkwardly. “Come on Sweetie Belle, Zecora will be here any minute to take the other kids to Nightmare Moon’s statue.”
Sweetie Belle hid under her princess costume when she heard those words. Memories of the first night she saw Nightmare Moon flooded her mind. Sweetie recalled how terrified she was when she thought Princess Celestia was kidnapped. She also remembered how Nightmare Moon threatened to bring eternal darkness to Equestria. That was one of the reasons why she was not out on Nightmare Night the year before. Pipsqueak wrapped a forearm around Sweetie Belle
“Don’t worry there, Belle. Nothing bad is gonna happen. Princess Luna is actually a nice pony once you get to know her,” the pinto colt warmly said.
“Really?” Sweetie softly asked. Pipsqueak nodded and gave her an assuring smile. It was almost time for the children to hear Zecora’s scary story for the night. Apple Bloom motioned for everyone to follow her to the center of the park.
It was not long until everypony at the festival gathered around Mayor Mare. This time, the mayor wore a tall, red and white striped hat and a fur black and white suit with a tail to give her the appearance of a cat.
“Good evening, Mares and Gentlecolts!” she called out. “I like to welcome you all to our annual Nightmare Night Festival! Now, all the little ponies and, ahem, Pinkie Pie, who have been out collecting sweets should follow our friend Zecora to hear the legend of... Nightmare Moon! ” She said in her best spooky voice followed by a sinister laugh. An explosion of green mist later, Zecora appeared. Her hair was long and was decorated with plastic spiders. She also wore a long, black dress to make her look like a witch.
“Follow me
and very soon,
you will hear the tale of Nightmare Moon.”
Zecora led the group to a statue of Nightmare Moon. Twilight was also part of the group, just to make sure Princess Luna does not scare the little ones too much. Somehow, every year the statue only gets scarier and scarier to look at. Zecora stopped in front and continued her tale of the Princess of the Night.
“Listen close my little dears,
and I’ll tell you where you got your fears
of Nightmare Night
so dark and scary.
Of Nightmare Moon,
who makes you wary.”
The children listened with wide, innocent eyes and shivering bodies. Even Twilight had to admit she was creeped a little.
“Every year we put on a disguise,
to save ourselves from her searching eyes.
But Nightmare Moon wants just one thing,
to gobble up ponies in one quick swing!”
Most of the kids yelped and shrieked. Few of them gave nervous chuckles. Even though Pipsqueak had been through this before, he could not help but feel as though this is the first time seeing her up close. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo were scared out of their costumes, but they both tried to put on straight, tough faces. However, Sweetie Belle wished she was somewhere else. She stood petrified at the thought of a pony wanting to eat little fillies. And Pinkie Pie was just as frantic as ever.
“Hungrily, she soars the sky.
If she sees nopony, she passes by.
So if she comes and all is clear,
Equestria is safe for another year!”
“Um, M-Miss Z-Zecora, um, if we wear costumes to hide from Nightmare Moon so she won’t gobble us up, then h-how come we still have to give our c-candy?” asked a stuttering Sweetie Belle.
“A perfect question,
my little friend.
For Nightm--”
“You have to give her your candy so she won’t eat you!” a terrified Pinkie screamed. She dumped all her hard earned candy into the ground and ran away screaming. Suddenly, the loud, rumbling noise of thunder followed by flashes of lightning terrified the youngsters, and Twilight to an extent. They all followed suit and dumped their contents on Nightmare Moon’s statue, hoping to please the moon goddess.
Sweetie Belle hesitated before giving in to her fears. Apple Bloom pour half of her share on the ground, while saving some for herself. Pipsqueak also did the same.
“Scootaloo, what are you waiting for? Give her some of your candy!” Bloom commanded with fear in her voice.
“No way! You know how hard I worked for this? No way she’s getting any of my candy!” Scoots said. As if Nightmare Moon heard her from above, the thunder released a monstrous roar and lightning stroke the very ground she was standing on.
“Just do it, Scootaloo!” Sweetie Belle desperately pleaded. “Do you wanna get eaten?”
“But--”
A lightning storm was in full motion, and sounds of sinister laughter could be heard. Scootaloo poured as much candy on the ground as she could. As the lightning grow fierce and the laughter drew closer, the three fillies ran away screaming. The only ones left were Twilight, Spike, Pipsqueak, and Zecora.
A swirl of black magic formed and morphed into an equine-like figure. The figure then sprout wings and a horn grew from its forehead. The black magical swirl completed the transformation and the Princess of the Night came into being.
“...”
“... Princess Luna! You’re back!”
Pipsqueak ran to Luna and gave her a loving hug.
“Um... thanks. It’s great to be back,” she said softly. She looked around and spotted the huge pile of candy next to the statue of her evil personality. Her small smile turned into a frown.
“I’m not surprised to see my subjects are still afraid of me,” she said melancholy.
“Not all of them,” Twilight assured her. She gestured toward the little colt whom was still hugging her foreleg. Her smile grew back and Pipsqueak let go of her leg. She looked the area the festival was held; she could hear the dance pop music in the background.
“Do not feel bad,
my dear princess.
Your subjects will still love you,
No more, no less.”
“She’s right, Princess,” Spike added. “Ever since you came back, ponies learned they don’t have to fear you. Nightmare Night is just about having fun. We usually do the whole Nightmare Moon thing because, you know, we just like being scared.”
“In all my years, I can never fully understand how ponies could find pleasure in being frightened,” Luna commented confusingly.
“I know the feeling princess. I could never understand it either,” Twilight responded. “However, I’ve been thinking about it this way - Have you ever been on a roller coaster before?” she asked the princess.
“I have not,” Luna responded.
“You see, ponies love to ride roller coasters because they crave the experience of danger. Riding a roller coaster creates a simulation of danger, providing the illusion of mastering peril. Also, it’s been proven that riding roller coasters can help overcome fears.”
“Hmm. I shall greatly consider riding these... roller coasters,” Luna said.
“You should! They’re really fun!” Pipsqueak squealed. “I know - maybe you can come back next summer and we can ride one together!”
“We shall see, young Pipsqueak,” Luna told the pinto colt. “Well, there’s no time to waste. Time to give the ponies what they came for.”
Princess Luna teleported herself to the festival. Only to teleport back to the spot.
“Oh Twilight, I see you are still wearing your Starswirl the Bearded costume.”
“Yeah... I don’t know why,” Twilight responded.
“And Spike... you remind me of an old, enchanter I used to know. I believe his name was... Tim.”
Luna teleported herself back to the festival. Spike stood there, his face growing red with rage.
Pipsqueak and Zecora were giggling quietly behind his back.
It was almost time for the broadcast of H. G. Weanling’s The War of the Worlds. Orson made sure that everything and everypony were in their right place for the big performance. The sound effects unicorns stood by their machines, waiting for their cue. Orson and Harley once again took the time to memorize their lines while Script Doctor looked over any changes on the script. Studio interns prepared the voice recording booth where the two of them will be in.
“Fifteen minutes left, Miss Executive,” Talent Scout told her excitedly. “We should up and ready when Mr. Hooves and Harley finish their last-minute rehearsal.”
“Right. Scout, this show we’re doing... I haven’t asked anypony, but... what is it about?” Executive asked.
“Hmm. I’m not sure. Orson said it’s based on a book of some kind. Something about aliens invading earth. I don’t know, I've never talked to him about it.”
Orson and Harley appeared in front of them, much to Executive’s surprised. Orson had a look of determination and self-confidence on his face.
“Mr. Hooves, there you are! We’ve been waiting for you all day!” Miss Executive told him.
“I’m sorry. We had to be sure all the changes in the script were permanent.”
“Not to mention the fact that we still don’t know our way around this place,” Harley added. “I think I passed the main storage room twice.”
“It doesn’t matter now! You guys are here, and we have a show to run!” Miss Executive exclaimed. Orson looked at his watch again. Ten minutes left - might as well start it now, he thought to himself.
The technicians were in their respective positions as Orson and Harley entered the booths. They both approached their separate microphones and put headphones over their ears. Once everything was clear, a pony technicians pressed the “ON AIR” button and the fanfare played for one minute before Harley introduced show.
“Hello and Welcome to the Canterlot Mystery Theatre Audio Show. Tonight we bring you our Nightmare Night special presentation of H. G. Weanling’s The War of the Worlds - as presented by none other than theatrical extraordinaire, Orson Hooves.”
A few moments passed after Harley made the annoucement. Then, with a deep, but masterful voice, Orson spoke.
“Nopony would have believed in the early years of the Age of Harmony, that our world was being watched keenly and closely by intelligences greater than our own. As equines busied themselves about their various concerns, they observed and studied. The way a pony with a microscope might scrutinize the creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water. With infinite complacency, the pony went to and fro about the globe - confident our empire over this world. Yet... across the gulf of space, intellects vast, and cruel, and unsympathetic... regarded our planet with envious eyes. And slowly... and surely... drew their plans against us...”
END OF PART I
Sweet Apple Acres was eerily quiet that night. It’s only occupant was a sleeping Granny Smith, the elderly matriarch of the Apple Family. Last year, she was an unlucky chaperone for an enthusiastic group of children. She was relieved when when nopony showed up at her door all night. She slept away on her favorite rocking chair, dreaming of memories of days past.
“Zzzzzz, mm, Zap apples. Zzzzz, mm, harvest time. Zzzzz, mm, bunny suit,” she mumbled in her slumber time. “Zzzz, mm, I want cinnamon rolls.”
Suddenly, there was a loud knock on the front that made Granny Smith jump out of her chair and face down on the wooden floor. To her misfortune, she was now fully awake. She walked toward the front door and opened it, finding rather semi-familiar faces.
“Nightmare Night,
What a fright,
Give me something sweet to bite!”
“Oh, it’s only you,” Granny Smith said. There were two young unicorn colts standing in front of her door. One was tall and slouchy, and the other was small and stout. The small one had a greenish-blue coat, a dark-orange mane, and a cutie-mark resembling scissors. The tall one had a coat similar to his friend’s mane and a mane with a similar color to his friend’s coat. His cutie-mark resembled a snail. Together, they are collectively known as Snips and Snails.
“Where are yer costumes?” she asked the boys.
“Don’t worry Granny Smith, they’re right here!” Snails happily replied.
“Yeah! Me and Snails worked on these all night!” Snips added. The colts pulled out masked that had an uncanny resemblance to each other’s faces. The moment the masks were on their faces, a bewildered Granny Smith questioned the boys’ sanity.
“What the heck are you two wearin?”
“I’m wearing Snips’ face,” Snails said.
“And wearing wearing Snails’ face,” Snips answered. “Isn’t it great?”
“No,” Granny Smith shot back.
Snips and Snails looked at themselves, and much to their amazement, they both got the facial features of their faces down - everything from freckles to bucked teeth; their masks almost look real. Maybe too real.
“Uhh this is freaky! Let’s take these off,” Snails frantically suggested. Hastily, the duo removed their masks. Afterward, they quickly gave a polite grin to the elderly, senile mare.
“Well, what do ya want from me?” she frustratingly asked.
“Candy I guess. I think that’s the whole point of this,” Snails replied.
“Well ya ain’t gettin’ no candy without no costume!”
“Ah-ha! That’s where you’re wrong, Granny Smith! For we have backup costumes!” Snips exclaimed. The two unicorns pulled out eyepatches from their pockets and made hats appear. Snails put his eyepatch on his left eye and on his head was a pirate hat made of newspaper. Snips put his eyepatch over his right eye and on his head was a stetson hat. This confused the eldest apple mother even more so.
“What are you suppose to be now?” she asked in annoyance. “Pirates?”
“I’m a newspaper delivery boy pretending to be a pirate, Granny Smith!” Snails excitedly said.
“And I’m a wild west cowpony who wears an eyepatch on his eye because he hurt himself,” Snips added. “Get it?”
The two colts and the old mare stood in an awkward moment of silence. Granny Smith then slam the door on their faces. She contemplated putting a security system in her house when there was another series of knocks on the door. Fearing for the worst, she slowly open the door to see - much to her rising frustration - that Snips and Snails were still there with their googly eyes and dumb grins.
“Now what do you want?!”
“May we use your bathroom?” Snails asked politely.
“... No!”
“Please?”
“No!”
“Please?”
“No!”
“Please?”
“Why don’t ya use your own?!”
“We walked all the way here and we can’t make it that far,” said a pleading Snips.
“Well ya can’t use mine!”
“Can’t we just go behind the trees?” asked Snails.
“NO!”
“Then pleeease let us use your bathroom! Pleeease,” pleaded Snails.
The colts now performed their best interpretation of the extremely well-known “potty dance” in front of the Apple’s doorstep. Granny Smith’s face was turning blood red with irritation, with a small vein appearing on the side of her head. She thought it would be hilarious if she just let them wet themselves right on the spot. However, she knew it was not the right thing to do - if Applejack found out, she would be shock that her own grandmother would do such a thing to two little boys. As much as she wanted to have a peaceful autumn night all to herself, her better judgement got to her.
“Dagnabbit! Alright, alright, ya can come in. But don’t touch anything!” she commanded with narrow eyes.
The boys immediately rushed into the farmhouse and began their mission to find the nearest bathroom. Granny Smith now berated herself for letting small inconveniences interrupt her only downtime. She returned to her rocking chair and tried desperately to fall back to sleep, but to no avail. Her head turned to the radio sitting beside her on a stool. She thought some music would help her put her mind at ease. She turned it on and selected a station.
“Mares and Gentlecolts, we present to you the soothing musical stylings of Midnight Notes and her orchestra - live from the Grand Canterlot Hotel.”
Her hoof was just about to reach for the dial, but then something stopped her. The music that was playing actually sounded relaxing and comforting. It was as if somepony had just tucked her into a nice, soft bed, and covered her with a warm blanket. She was never enjoyed that particular music, but she had to admit, it was helping her get some shuteye at the moment.
As the sweet music continued, her eyes became heavier. She felt as though she will drift off to slumberland any moment. It looks like she is finally going to get some--
“We interrupt this program for a special news bulletin.”
“Wha-- huh-- wha?!”
“At 7:45 p.m. Professor Holst at the Mount Llamrei Observatory in Manehattan reports observing several explosions of incandescent gas, occurring at regular intervals on the planet Ares. The spectroscope indicates the gas to be hydrogen and moving toward the earth with enormous velocity. Professor Stargazer of the observatory at Fillydelphia confirms Stargazer’s observation. We now return to the music of Midnight Notes, playing for you at the Grand Canterlot Hotel.”
After the news interruption, the radio went back to airing the nice music. This time, the music that was playing had a more upbeat tempo, much different than what was playing before. So much for the relaxing, soothing music. Granny Smith just sat on her chair, trying to rock herself to sleep.
“Mares and gentlecolts--”
“Dagnabbit!” Granny Smith shouted in growing frustration - she can never have a break.
“--following on the news bulletin given to us moments ago, the Equestrian Meteorological Bureau has requested that all observatories in the country keep an astronomical eye on any disturbances on the planet Ares. Due to the unusual nature of these occurrences, we have arranged an interview with noted astronomer, Professor Stargazer, who will give us insight on why this is happening. In a moment we will take you to the observatory in Fillydelphia.”
“Granny Smith! We’re done!” Snails called out from upstairs. The smiling boys walked back downstairs to find an even more agitated Granny Smith. “Sorry, but we might’ve overflown the toilet - Snips stuck so much toilet paper down there,” Snails laughed.
“Hey, it wasn’t my fault!” Snips protested. “Don’t worry, Granny Smith - you can barely noticed your bathroom is flooding.” Granny Smith was about to let out a furious wail when the “reporter” on the radio made an announcement of importance.
“Mares and gentlecolts, we last left off about reports of strange explosions on the surface of Ares. We are now live at the observatory in Fillydelphia with astronomer Professor Stargazer, of whom will explain the odd explosive phenomenon taking place on the surface of the red planet. Thank you for being here, Mr. Stargazer.”
“Thank you, reporter.”
“Will you explain--”
Before the news reporter could finish asking his question, Granny Smith turned the dial on the radio. Static and random sounds from other stations being heard.
“I don’t wanna hear all that nonsense!”
“Wait, change back!” Snails said.
“Yeah, they’re going to talk about Ares!” Snips added. “Gee, Snails - you don’t think there’s... aliens on Ares do you?” he asked worryingly.
“If there are, I hope they’re friendly,” Snails answered with fear in his voice.
“Will you boys cut it out?! There ain’t no such thing as aliens - it’s all a bunch of hogwash! Now will you two go home?! I’m trying to get some rest before tomorrow!” Granny Smith snapped.
“B-but the aliens,” Snails fearfully protested. Granny Smith moved behind the two colts and shoved them out of her home. Afterward, she quickly closed the door and made sure all the locks were tight. She wearily walked back to her rocking chair, lamenting the lost hours of peace and quiet.
Snips and Snails were outside, terrified by the earlier reports of strange activities on planet Ares. The two looked up into the night sky, wondering if their suspensions are correct - and all of ponykind is in mortal danger.
“What do we do, Snails? Should we warn everyone about the aliens?” Snips asked his friend.
“We gotta find out more about this! Quick - we have to get to a radio!” Snips and Snails ran as fast as they could to their homes, leaving the joys of sugary sweets and the delightful terror of Nightmare Night behind them. The fate of planet Earth and all its inhabitants rest solely on their shoulders.
Rainbow Dash searched high and low for the timid pegasus. She was nowhere to be seen at the festival, so she figured she ran off somewhere in town - someplace safe and not scary. The Dash scanned the possible locations Fluttershy could be hiding - the animal shelter, the butterfly sanctuary, the spa - nothing. As she was just about to give up, something clicked inside her mind. What is the one place Fluttershy finds solitude and sanctuary in when she’s horribly frightened?
Her home.
The cyan pegasus flew away with the speed of a hawk to find Fluttershy. Once she arrived at her cottage, she approached the front door. She tried to open it, but it would not budge. Not even the force of all her combined strength could bring the door down. Dash took a step back and noticed that only her bedroom light was on. She slowly floated herself up the window and caught a sight of huge lump hiding under a blanket, trembling as it did so.
“Fluttershy,” she sighed. “Come out. You can’t hide here all night.”
“I’m not coming out and you can’t make me!” Fluttershy declared from under her blanket.
“C’mon, ‘Shy - there’s no reason to stay here all cooped up by yourself. Nightmare Night is about having fun! So what if you scared? Being scared is part of the experience,” Dash reasoned to the frightened animal lover.
“I don’t want to experience anything like that, Rainbow!” Fluttershy said as she revealed herself from under her protective blanket. “You know how I am with scary things! I can’t even look at my own shadow - that’s how scared I am.”
“Honestly Fluttershy, I never heard of anypony who's afraid of their own shadow before. That sounds a bit ridiculous if you ask me,” Rainbow commented wryly.
“It is a real fear, Rainbow! I asked Twilight about it! I forgot what it’s called, but it’s real!” Fluttershy tried to convince.
“Sure, whatever.”
“And besides, I don’t want to get near... Nightmare Moon,” she continued with a nervous gulp.
“Fluttershy, she’s not Nightmare Moon anymore. She’s not gonna plunge the world into eternal darkness like last time. And will please stop being a ‘fraidy-pony? Do I have to drag and carry you by the tail,” she asked in a threatening manner. Fluttershy hid under her blanket again, much to Rainbow’s annoyance. The Dash entered her room and the two a five minute wrestling match. Unfortunately for the Fastest Flyer in Equestria, Fluttershy was quick to overpower her. After much struggling, a defeated Rainbow Dash took her leave. Fluttershy was relieved that Dash had given up all efforts to take her back to the Nightmare Night Festival.
Until Rainbow Dash tackled her and pinned her to the ground.
“Listen Fluttershy - you are coming with me to the Nightmare Night Festival and you are going to have a great time with all our friends!” Rainbow commanded. “Got it?!” Fluttershy responded with a deep frown and a simple humph. Feeling accomplished, Rainbow Dash happily carried a scornful Fluttershy back to the park, where much excitement awaited them.
Scootaloo somberly stared at the half bag of candy she held in her hooves. All her hard work, ruined, thanks to Nightmare Moon. She clutched the bag tightly and swore under her breath. Why would a goddess be so selfish that she had to steal a little filly’s candy she worked to the bone to earn?
“Ooowee! That was some show, wasn’t it girls?” An out of breath Apple Bloom asked her friends. Her two friends did not immediately respond - Sweetie Belle was paralyzed with fear, while Scootaloo silently swore vengeance on the moon goddess’ crime of grand theft sweets. “Uh, hello? I asked you both a question.”
“She eats fillies. She eats little fillies,” Sweetie Belle whispered to herself.
“C’mon, Sweetie Belle. It wasn’t that bad. Actually I thought it was a lot of fun! What about you Scootaloo?”
“She stole my candy. She will pay,” Scootaloo said as she clutched her hooves.
“Scootaloo, stop being so overdramatic. You didn’t lose all of it,” Apple Bloom reasoned. “Look, I don’t have a lot either, and you don’t see me complaining.”
“You don’t understand! I worked my flank off to earn the candy I got and Nightmare Moon took that away from me! When I see her, she’s gonna wish she hadn’t come between the Scoots and her sugary prizes!” Scootaloo declared to her friends.
“She eats fillies for breakfast, lunch, and dinner,” Sweetie Belle quietly said to herself.
“Will you two stop it?! Sweetie, she doesn’t eat little kids and Scootaloo, you’ll get your candy back. Now can’t we all just enjoy the night?” Apple Bloom desperately asked.
“What’s left to enjoy?! Nightmare Moon took everything away from me! I had a mountain of candy, Apple Bloom! Do you hear me? A mountain! I. Deserve. Justice!”
“... She’s going to come in my room and eat me.”
Apple Bloom’s brain felt as though it was about to meltdown. Seeing as her two friends took the situation too seriously, she finally gave up. She decided to wander off - leaving the pegasus and the unicorn behind to wallow in their perceived misery.
Snips and Snails began their mission to defend the earth from the coming invaders. Since neither of them have access to a telescope, they ventured to a treehouse that belong to a certain unicorn. As they found that all the lights were off.
“Miss Sparkle? Miss Sparkle? Are you home?” Snails asked while banging on the door loudly. “Aliens are coming and we need your telescope!” To their dismay, nopony answered the door. “Ah jeez! Miss Sparkle’s not home! What are we gonna do Snails?”
Snips was going to ask his counterpart the same question just as a solution fell before his eyes. On the bottom of his hooves, a large rock lay before them. He then looked at the glass window - and then he stare at the large rock. An idea formulated in his brain. He picked up the rock with his hooves and marched toward the house.
“Snips, what are you doing with that rock?”
Before he could say anything, Snips broke the window. The shatter was incredibly loud it could have woke the entire neighborhood.
“Snips are you crazy?! Miss Sparkle is going to kill us!” Snails yelled angrily.
“I don’t care! The fate of ponykind is more important than a lousy window!” The blue stout unicorn climbed over the broken window and made sure he had no cuts on him. He motioned for his slender counterpart to do the same. Once they were inside, one of them turned on the lights. This was first time they have ever been in Twilight’s home. They were impressed with the interior of the living room. And the looked in awe at the amazingly neat rows of books stacked in shelves.
“C’mon Snails! You find a telescope and I’ll find a radio!” Snips commanded. The colts went separate directions to search for their respective objects. Snips scanned the entire den, as he thought a radio would very likely to be located.
“Hey Snips, I found a telescope and a radio!” Snails called from upstairs. “They’re in her bedroom!” Snips ran as fast as his little hooves could take him. As he entered the bedroom of Twilight Sparkle, he saw Snails desperately trying to find the station which was reporting about the aliens. Snips approached the telescope and pointed it to the night sky. The black sky was decorated with twinkling stars - it’s just the question of which ones are hostile.
Snails rapidly turned the knobs of the radio back and forth to find that radio station.
*Equestria’s newest singing sensation {static} Wrong, wrong, you are wrong! You’re wrong about everything! {static} Apply directly to the forehead {static} Crazy Bus, Crazy Bus, we’re riding on a Crazy Bus! {static} Billy Hays here with another fantasic product! {static} We are the Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything, we just stay home and lie around! {static} I saw the asteroid but the impact was not what I expected.
“Hey Snips! I found the station!”
“Good! I’ll keep looking at the sky for any weird stuff!” Snips replied. Snails listened intently for any information.
Reporter: I see the impact has not cause any immediate damage besides the forest fire. Did you notice anything strange about the asteroid?
Eyewitness: Well, if you ask me, the crater is rather small for an asteroid impact. And if I’m not mistaken, I believe the asteroid to be made of a metallic material. To be honest, I don’t think it’s an asteroid.
Reporter: It’s good thing the fire department is here. We don’t want the fire to spread throughout Fillydelphia.
Eyewitness: I’ll say. The only terrible thing the asteroid did was to kill the electricity. Otherwise, we’re okay.
Reporter: Have the city officials evacuated everypony living in the surrounding area.
Eyewitness: We’re doing that as we speak. We’re making sure everypony get to a safe location away from the impact.
Reporter: Thank you for your time, sir.
Eyewitness: It was a pleasure.
Reporter: With impact happening just a half an hour ago, it seems though no damage has been done to the City of Fillydelphia. We implore that--
Random pony: Look! Look over there!
Reporter: What the? Uh, it appears the mysterious object from space is... is moving. The top is... it seems to be unscrewing itself. Oh my goodness, the object is alive! This is most tremendous thing I have ever seen. The ponies behind me a frightened, as am I. Okay, the top is becoming loose. I-I don’t know what to think of this.
Snails was scared witless while listening to the news report. Amidst of the reporter’s fascination with the mysterious object, he could hear the terrified murmurs and yelps of the background ponies. Snips was still at the telescope, but he heard everything - and was afraid for the worst.
Reporter: The top is now completely unscrewed. I don’t see anything. Whatever that object was, it certainly - wait! What’s that! I see... I see... arms!
“Arms?!” Snips and Snails gasped in unison.
Reporter: Yes folks, arms! Tentacle-like arms appearing from the cylinder. Wait a minute - one, two, three, four, five, six! Oh the creature has multiple arms! They’re green and the monstrosity of it all! The eight-armed creature is trying to pull itself out! Oh my goodness, oh my stars and garters! The creature... the monster has appeared from the cylinder!
“Oh gosh, this is bad!” Snails lamented. “What are we gonna do?!”
“This can’t be happening! This can’t be true!” Snips added with horror in his voice.
Reporter: The green monster has returned to its cylinder. But it was still a horrifying experience! Why is it here? What does it want?
As the colts anxiously continue to listen to the news report they heard a strange noise coming from the radio. The noise sounded like somepony was repeatedly plucking a wire or a piece of string close to a microphone. Much to their horror, the reporter heard it also.
Reporter: Folks, there seems to be a strange sound coming from the cylinder. I wonder what’s - wait, something else is emerging from the cylinder. It looks snake-like in appearance. Red and green lights are surrounding its form. It seems to be scanning the area. This is outrageous! The machine... or whatever it is, is just standing there. Why? How- Oh no! A group of ponies is approaching it! They’re carrying a white flag! What in heaven’s name are you doing?! Get away, get away from it!
But it was too late. As much as Snips and Snails prayed it would not happen - their fears were finally confirmed. As the reporter begged for the small group of ponies to back away, they heard that wicked sound. The sound of a heat ray incinerating them. When all was said and done, they heard the terrified screams of bystanders and the psychological torment of the news reporter.
Reporter: Oh no! Oh no, no, no! I told them to get away! Oh the pain, the pain of it all! Those poor fools are dead, all of them, dead! The bystanders are fleeing for their lives! The heat-ray is coming this way! Everypony run for your-- GAAAHHH!
{Static}
…
…
Announcer: We appear to be having some technical difficulties. We promise to return to this breaking news bulletin as soon as possible. In the meantime, enjoy some breezy listening music.
{Lounge music plays}
…
…
“... SNIPS, WE GOTTA WARN EVERYPONY! WE’RE AT WAR!”
Snails turned off the radio and the two colts ran downstairs and out of the house. Snips grabbed the rock from before and broke the second window. The two managed to jump through it with incredible speed.
“We gotta do something, Snips! We gotta warn everypony about the aliens!”
“But how do we do that?!” Snails frantically asked. The two paused and pondered for a moment. After a minute of thinking, the solution came to them.
“EVERYPONY WAKE UP! ALIENS ARE COMING!”
“IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD!”
“CALL THE ROYAL GUARD!”
“DUCK AND COVER!”
“WHY AREN’T ANY OF YOU LISTENING!”
Throughout the night Snips and Snails went from house to house, warning everypony about the alien invasion. The Battle for Ponyville was about to begin - who will be the victor was anypony’s guess.
While They Were Sleeping...
The Nightmare Night Festival continued without interruption. That is, until an explosive flash of blue light appeared. The ponies watched anxiously as to see who caused the flash (but they all knew inside who it was). The blue light then morphed into a blue silhouette of an alicorn. Lo and behold, Princess Luna stood before them, mighty and proud. Her expressionless face intimidated the frightened ponyfolk to no end.
She looked around the area, noticing that all the participants of the festivities stopped what they were doing. Even the music was dead silent by her sudden appearance. The ponyfolk were frozen with fear that they forgot to bow down to her royal highness. Luckily, a sole mare bowed, which started a chain reaction of instant bowing. Luna stood over her subjects as they grovel to her. What threw her off was the sight of frightened children bowing to her, especially a little white unicorn who was afraid to look at her in the eye.
Why are they always like this when I’m around them? She thought to herself. Luna answered her own question when she finally caught herself giving a cold frown to her terrified subjects. She slowly curled her lips to force a disjointed smile. Nopony that night dared chuckle at her expense. She cleared her throat and, remembering to not use the Royal Canterlot Voice around these ponies, began her queen-like speech of... whatever was happening tonight.
“Citizens of Ponyville,” Luna announced without using the Royal Voice but loud enough so everypony could hear. “As you well know, I am the Princess of the Night. And this is the second time I have come to this festival dedicated to the evil spirit that possessed me, Nightmare Moon. Earlier this night, I have witnessed a group of children offering me sweets to ease my hunger of foals.” When she said that last part, she glanced at the reactions of two fillies - a pegasus and a unicorn. The orange pegasus appeared to have an upside-down letter U on her face. The white unicorn could not help but to stare at her direction blankly. Luna shifted uncomfortably when their eyes met. “So, it is with great pleasure that I, Princess Luna, shall return to you... your candy!”
Using her magic, Luna’s horn glowed and a mountain of candy materialized from thin-air. The once sadden cries of little children soon turned into clamors of jollity. The costumed kids (and a few teenagers) gathered around the Night Princess. She happily refilled half bags of candy much to their amazement. While more children ran to Luna, she instantly recognized a familiar face. Pipsqueak the Boy Pirate innocently held out his bag of sweets. It was in that moment she actually gave anypony a genuine smile.
Next in line was Apple Bloom in her Discord costume. Though the red-headed filly have never been this close to Luna before, she showed no fear and stood strong. The Princess admired such bravery at a young age.
“I believe you to be the young sibling of Applejack, Bearer of the Element of Honesty?” Luna asked out of curiosity.
“Sure am! Um, I mean - yes, your highness,” Apple Bloom quickly corrected herself. Luna giggled at the filly’s adorable attempt at royal formality.
“You should be very proud to have a sister such as Applejack, young Apple Bloom. I am sure you will grow to be just as strong and wise as she is.” As Luna said those words, she thought about her own elder sister. She then made candy magically appear in Bloom’s bag. Her little hooves could not contain the heavy bag, but she was not complaining. “By the way, you have wonderful Discord costume,” Luna warmly complimented.
“Thank you Princess,” Apple Bloom said while trying to lift the heavy bag. The next pony in line was Sweetie Belle in her princess costume. Unlike Apple Bloom, her body trembled from terror as she slowly approached the Moon Princess.
“And you must be the young sister of Rarity, the Bearer of the Element of Generosity?” she asked in the same manner as before. Nodding her head “yes” was all Belle could do. Luna saw a tremendous amount of fear in the little filly’s eyes and took pity on her. She slowly kneel down to her eye level and presented a gentle smile. “There is no need to be frightened of me, little one. I am not here to do harm to anypony. Especially children,” she said sweetly. Using her magic, candy materialize into her bag, refilling it greatly. The fear in her eyes were suddenly replaced with joy. “That’s better,” Luna commented. Before Sweetie Belle walked away, Luna had one last thing to say to her. “Remember child, princesses show no fear in times of adversity. A princess must stand tall, proud, and unafraid.” She then winked at Sweetie Belle.
“Yes, your majesty,” Belle happily replied. Luna smiled to herself for what she has done for the filly. She could not put her hoof on it, but somehow it felt... it felt good.
The next pony in line was Scootaloo in her Wonderbolt costume. The orange pegasus had a nervous expression on her face. She looked up at Luna, uncertain of what she might say to her.
“And I suppose you are the sister of Rainbow Dash, Bearer of the Element of Loyalty?”
“Well, um, you see, I’m... no. I’m not her sister. We’re not even related. But sometimes, I like to imagine we’re sisters,” Scoot solemnly explained.
“What are you talking about? You’re practically like a sister to me more than anything,” a familiar voice called from behind. Scoots turned her head around and spotted Rainbow Dash in her Daring Do costume and beside her was a pouty looking Fluttershy. Scootaloo giggled at Dash’s statement and Luna refilled her bag with even more candy than she had before. This pleased Scootaloo greatly.
“Thank you Princess! Um, I’m sorry for what I said earlier about you stealing my candy and me deserving justice and all,” she apologized. “I was being, you know, melodramatic and stuff.”
“That’s quite alright child,” Luna giggled. “I was full of the same passion you have when I was your age.”
“Wow, really?” Scoots asked in amazement.
“Of course. How did you think I became Nightmare Moon?”
“... what?”
“C’mon squirt, we’re gonna show Fluttershy a scaring good time!” Rainbow Dash said as she pulled the Littlest Wonderbolt into her.
“Easy for you to say,” Fluttershy mumbled under her breath. Princess Luna watched Scootaloo walk off with her “big sister.” She laughed quietly to herself and continued to give out more candy to the children (and Pinkie Pie to an extent).
************************
Snips and Snails ran across town, banging on doors and windows, warning their neighbors of the imminent alien attack. Their constant yelling and ruckus awoken the unfortunate souls whom were trying to get a good night’s rest. The boys rapidly approached the Cake’s home and knocked repeatedly on the door, calling for Mr. and Mrs. Cake. The door flung open to reveal the Cake Patriarch - and he was not happy.
“Boys! Do you have any idea what time it is?!” a tired Mr. Cake angrily asked.
“We’re sorry Mr. Cake, but we’re here to warn you about the aliens!” Snails explained. “The aliens are coming to invade Equestria!”
...
“... wha?”
“It’s true!” Snips added. “An enemy spacecraft crashed landed in Fillydelphia! And it killed innocent ponies and a poor news reporter! He was just trying to report the news!” Snips cried.
...
“... huh?”
“Lock your doors! and hold your wife and children tight! We’re at war!” Snails proclaimed. Snips and Snails them embraced Mr. Cake with a great bear hug, much to his utter confusion. “Hold them tight,” Snails whispered. The colts then ran off to warn other ponies of the alien invasion. Mr. Cake stood on the front door like a stone, bewildered and trying to comprehend what happened.
“Dear, who was that?” Mrs. Cake called from their bedroom.
…
“... Youth wasted on the young, honey. Youth wasted on the young.”
******************
Their next target was the home of one of their close friends, Featherweight. He lived in a small one story house that was just walking distance from the school they all attend. The two colts approached the front door and repeated banged loudly until somepony arrived.
“My goodness, more kids at this hour?” a feminine voice said from inside the house. A cream colored female pegasus with an orange mane opened the door. This was Featherweight’s mother.
“Excuse us, but is Featherweight home?” Snips asked frantically.
“No, he’s not home at the moment. I think he’s still out with his father and little sister. Why, is there anything wrong?”
“Yes there is!” Snails answered loudly. “It’s the end of the world as we know it, and aliens are coming to annihilate us all!”
“Watch out for any strange goings ons! The evil aliens could be anywhere at anytime!” Snips cautioned to the confused mother. The two boys ran faster than a speeding bullet and searched desperately for their best friend.
“Hey, wait! Don’t you boys want your candy?”
***************
The colts ran as fast as their little hooves could carry them. They ran all night warning all about the attack on earth. They were both tired, hungry, and exhausted. However, the Dynamic Duo was determined to not rest until all are warned. Snips and Snails continued to run straight into the night until they crashed and burn onto a passing mare.
When the little birdies flying around their heads disappeared, the three ponies got a good look at each other. The mare the colts bumped into was a unicorn, just like them. Her coat was minty-green, and her mane was a pale-grayish-cyan color. Her cutie-mark was a harp of some kind. They recognized her as the resident oddball, one that would give Derpy Hooves a run for her money, Lyra Heartstrings.
“Lyra! Sorry we bumped into you. Are you okay?” Snips asked.
“Oh I’m fine. I was on a very important mission. What are you guys doing this here this late?” she asked.
“We’re also on a mission!” Snails exclaimed. “Me and Snips are trying to warn everypony about the alien invasion!”
Lyra gasped. “You mean, you guys know about too?!”
“Oh course! We heard it on the radio!” Snips explained.
“Me too! I was running all around trying to warn everypony about the aliens too! I sent Bon Bon off too get some food and supplies in case Equestria fall to the aliens. She didn’t seem happy about it.” While the three were conversing amongst themselves, two suspicious looking characters slowly approached the trio of the dim-witted unicorns. The two characters were stallions taking a late-night stroll. One of the stallions was the one Twilight met earlier - the one wrapped in strips of white sheets and wore a black leather jacket with sunglasses. The other was a beige stallion with a cool looking mustache, a bowler hat, and adorned a nice looking black suit ensemble with a red bow-tie. The unicorn trio put their conversation on hold as the two approached them.
“Umm... hi?” Lyra awkwardly greeted. The two stallions said nothing. “Uh, you two wouldn’t happen to know anything about an alien invasion, have you?” she asked nervously. Again, the stallions were silent.
“Snips, I feel weird,” Snails quietly said with fear in his voice.
“Mee too. What do they want?” Snips questioned.
“Please sirs, what do you want from us? Did we do anything wrong?” Lyra asked frantically.
“Hushhhhh...” the toilet paper stallion said.
“Oh no! This guy must be a government agent who doesn’t want anypony to know about the invasion!” Lyra concluded.
“Or worse... that guy is an ALIEN!” Snips yelled. Cold chills ran down Snails and Lyra’s spine at the frightening possibility. The three then turned eyes at the bowler hat stallion. What the stallion was about to was going to haunt their dream for the rest of their lives. The bowler hat stallion started dancing wildly, scatting, and singing incomprehensible gibberish.
Ska-ba-daba-dee-doo-wadda-ba-doom, skabba-daba-dee-doom-wadda-ba-doom, skabba-daba-doo-walla-ba-dee-doom-ski-ska-skee-dabba-dabba-doo-skibba-dee-doo!
“What is that?!” Lyra shrieked in fear.
“I don’t know! Maybe some crazy alien language!” Snips tried to answered.
“I think it’s trying to call the armada!” Snails fearfully concluded. The three unicorns did the only thing they were able to do in a crisis such as this - panic and run. The trio ran away from the stallions while screaming their lungs out. They yelled to the night that it was too late, the aliens have arrived. The stallions stood there, confused and shocked at the ordeal.
…
“... What’s their problem?” toilet paper pony asked.
“I don’t know. Kids these days.”
Princess Luna was actually enjoying the night with her subjects. Since she passed out candy to all the children, the ponyfolk have grown fond of her even more. Afterward, she waste no time in participating in the fun-filled activities of the Nightmare Night festival. These were one of the few, rare occasions that Luna could finally relax, cut loose, and mingle with the ponyfolk. Other times, she could never be able to do this sort of thing.
Twilight was watching Luna enjoy herself in the distance. She was proud that she was able to help a close friend become accepted. During that night, nopony had noticed that Twilight removed her costume. Since nopony could not decipher who she was, there was no point in wearing her Starswirl the Bearded costume. However, Spike still wore his Batmane costume throughout the night.
“Spike, why are you still wearing that silly costume?” Twilight asked.
“Because there’s a costume contest, and I’m entering!” Spike answered proudly.
“Why?”
“Because I heard there was colt here who is dressed as Juggles!”
“Juggles?” Twilight asked confusingly.
“Juggles - Batmane’s archenemy! He wears scary clown makeup, is a mass murdering anarchist terrorist who laughs at everything, he fights Batmane on the daily basis and there’s a possibility he already knows who Batmane’s secret identity is, but he doesn’t care either way? That Juggles!”
“Spike, stop reading comic books.”
“Graphic novels, Twilight! Graphic novels!”
As they were bickering, Twilight sensed that something was coming their way. The two heard what sounded like terrified voices. The inconsistent rambling and yelling became louder and louder until the unicorn and the baby dragon could see the running bodies the voices belonged to.
“Is that... Lyra?” Twilight asked confusingly.
“And is she running with... Snips and Snails?” Spike added.
The trio of ponies who were running for their dear lives became increasingly closer. Twilight tried to stand in front of them to see what the fuss was about, but to no avail. Lyra, Snips and Snails trampled her without even stopping to see who they trampled. Spike immediately helped his mentor up to her legs.
“Jeez, what was that all about?” Spike asked.
“I don’t know Spike. But whatever it is, they’re probably responsible for it. Come on, let’s go,” Twilight commanded. She ran toward the direction the unicorns ran, determine to get to the bottom of this. “Come on Spike, hurry up!”
“You can’t tell me what to do,” grumbled Spike.
“I heard that!”
******************************************************************************
Snips, Snails and Lyra stopped running once they reach the center of the park. The activities were still going strong and everypony was enjoying each other’s company under the pale moonlight. That is until the three of them began blabbering nonsense at the top of their lungs. For a moment, the games stopped and all eyes were on them. Watching two little colts and a young adult mare acting insane and shouting towards every direction was like watching a train wreck. You want to look away from the disaster, but it’s just there - out in the open.
“ALIENS ARE HERE! WE SAW THEM!”
“BIG GOVERNMENT GUYS ARE HIDING THE TRUTH!”
“THEY’RE BRINGING THEIR SPACESHIP GANG STEAL OUR WATER SUPPLY!”
The ponies did not know whether if this was one of their Nightmare Night pranks or did they genuinely believed there is a threat from outer space. A crowd gathered around the distressed unicorns as they continued spewing more nonsense on confused ears. Twilight and Spike arrived just in time before the situation became ugly.
“Oh Twilight, thank goodness! We need your help!” Lyra said while grabbing Twilight’s shoulders firmly.
“Why do you need my help?” Twilight asked uncomfortably.
“Aliens, Twilight! Aliens are here! We gotta warn the Princess!” Lyra responded by shaking Twilight back and forth.
“Did somepony call for a princess?”
Princess Luna levitated down to the area where everypony was gathered. Initially, she was slightly confused as to what was going on. Snips and Snails, and Lyra all bowed down before her majesty. Luna was flattered, but quickly motioned for the youngsters to stand on all fours.
“Now tell me, what is going on, and why do you need either myself or my sister?”
“Oh Princess Luna, it’s terrible! Really, really terrible!” Snips exclaimed. “Me and Snails were listening to the radio, and the news came on, and it said that something weird was happening on the planet Ares!”
“I was listening to some of it, too!” Lyra said. “An astronomer said there were some explosions happening! And the explosions were sending these weird cylinder things straight to earth!” The ponies all murmured either in disbelief, doubt, or absolute terror. Luna seem uneasy upon hearing this strange news.
“Tell me more...”
“Okay, so we kept listening to the news, and there was a cylinder that hit Fillydelphia!” What Snails said gained a collective gasp from the audience.
“Okay, wait, hold on... since when did you guys listen to the news?” asked a skeptical Twilight.
“Twilight we’re serious! Something really bad is happening and we got to do something about it! We have to stop the aliens!” Lyra tried to reason.
“Lyra, Snips, Snails - tell me. Is there anymore information about the extraterrestrials?” Luna asked in a serious tone.
“We don’t know. The last thing we heard was the sound of the news reporter being incinerated by a spaceship!” That last part Snips said gained a combination of gasps and screams. Twilight, on the other hoof, was not convinced.
“Alright, be reasonable! Are you sure it was aliens? Or just somepony playing a prank on you?”
“Twilight, please listen to me! I know what I heard!” Lyra stated. All the townsponies were debating whether the account of the alien attack was true or not. Applejack and Pinkie Pie arrived at the scene just the debate was getting heated.
“Land sakes! Twilight, what in the hay is going on here?” Applejack asked.
“I’m not sure. Apparently, Lyra and the two colts claimed they believe exterrestrial beings are attacking Equestria.”
“Aliens?” Pinkie asked astonishingly. “Why would aliens want to attack us?”
“I don’t know, but according to Lyra, they want to exterminate ponykind,” Twilight jokingly said. As more ponies joined the debate, out on the street a group of stallions ran screaming at the top of their lungs and one of them was ordering the group to bear arms. Twilight stood in front of the terrified stallions and they stopped running.
“What’s wrong? What are you running from?” she asked them.
“Didn’t you hear?!” one of the stallions asked with a horrified voice. “Some alien walking machine destroyed Fillydelphia!” The stallions then talked to her about what they heard about the machine. They heard accounts that the walking machine had three legs, and a head shaped like a monster with two big, evil eyes. One of them mentioned that tentacles came out from out of the machine and snatched all the terrified bystanders or ponies trying to run away. Needless to say, everypony feared for their lives. All except Twilight.
“Fascinating. Did any of you actually see all those things happen?” Twilight asked nonchalantly.
“Well, no we haven’t,” one of the older stallions replied while scratching his chin.
“But we heard it on the news! So it must be true!” yelled out a young stallion. All the others agreed. As the townsponies were caught up in the discussion of hostile alien life-forms, Princess Luna was confused and worried at the same. She thought about cutting the festival short and return back to Canterlot immediately. Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and the other children joined the gathering just as Princess Luna was about to make her announcement.
“Whoa! What the hay going on you guys?” asked Rainbow Dash.
“Rainbow Dash! Aliens have landed in Equestria! Real-life aliens!” Snails shouted.
“Pfft! Yeah right, and tomorrow morning Twilight is going to sprout wings and fly away,” Dash laughed. Everypony in town exploded with laughter at Dash’s joke. Twilight was not amused.
“You don’t understand,” another member of the frantic stallions interrupted. “Fillydelphia was already leveled by these alien death machines! I even heard they’re marching toward Manehattan, Stalliongrad, and soon... Ponyville!” All the townsponies screamed with absolute terror at the thought of the aliens destroying their peaceful village. Fluttershy once again coward behind Rainbow, praying that she would just go home.
“Aliens?!” shrieked Sweetie Belle.
“Aliens? Cool! Can’t wait to meet them!” Scootaloo remarked excitedly. Her tiny wings were buzzing with joy.
“Why would you want to meet them?!” Sweetie asked as if Scoots was out of her mind. “They want to kill us all, remember?!”
“Yeah, I know! Isn’t it awesome! They’re gonna suck our brains out and everything!” Scootaloo commented with enthusiasm. Sweetie Belle shrieked and held on to Apple Bloom.
“Apple Bloom, make her stop!” Belle pleaded. While all this was getting out of hand, one colt - Pipsqueak the Boy Pirate - began to ponder this series of strange events.
“Hmmm... walking machines, planet Ares, cylinders, and a heat-ray? This sounds oddly familiar,” the pinto colt said to himself. He was interrupted from his train-of-thought when Princess Luna made her announcement.
“Citizens of Ponyville! I regret to announce that I must end the Nightmare Night celebration in short notice. If we are to stop this extraterrestrial menace, then I must return immediately to Canterlot and mobilize the Equestrian Guard. I ask all of you to return to your homes and stay indoors until further notice. We will show these demons from beyond the stars that Earth is not an easy planet to conquer!”
Luna’s rousing speech gained cheers and thunderous applause. The Night Princess then disappeared in a flash of white light. While they do have hope that the Princesses will contain this situation, there were many unanswered questions. Twilight and Pipsqueak were the only two ponies that noticed many holes in the story. As the throng began to disperse, Sparkle analyzed the situation.
“This doesn’t make sense,” Twilight told herself. “Why would anypony make up a ridiculous story like that?”
“Why are we still talking about it?” Fluttershy ask while in the fetal position.
“Fluttershy, I assure you, there are no aliens in Equestria!” Twilight said sternly.
“What if you’re wrong? What if the aliens are already here, and they kidnapped you and replace with an evil alien version of you?!” Fluttershy was beginning to hyperventilate.
“That would be awesome!” Scoots commented.
“Aliens or not, if the princess wants us to go home, we should do what she said,” Applejack reasoned. She did not believe in aliens either, but she didn’t want to risk staying out all night. There are a few nutcases running around on Nightmare Night.
“We are you all so calm?!” Lyra asked. “Aliens are about to take over the world! Don’t you even care at all?!”
“No Lyra, I don’t care. You want to know why? Because they’re no. Such. Thing. As. Aliens!” Twilight said while bringing her face close to Lyra’s. The mint unicorn shifted back. “Now stop with this talk about aliens and get some rest!” she commanded. Lyra stuck her tongue out behind Twilight’s back in defiance.
“Yeah, I should get going too,” said Pinkie. The girls gazed at the pink mare as she carried a giant bag of sweets and candy.
“Don’t eat too much candy, Pinkie. Or else you’ll have to go to the dentist,” Applejack cautioned.
“Don’t worry Jackie, I’ll be fine! I’ve never got a cavity in my life!” Pinkie reassured the farmpony.
“... I told you not to call me Jackie,” Applejack grumbled under her breath.
“As much I love to talk about aliens, I’m gettin’ tired. I’m gonna hit the hay. Fluttershy where are--” Before Rainbow could finish asking her question, she noticed Fluttershy disappeared without a trace. “Hm, I knew she was a ‘fraidy pony. Hey Scootaloo, you wanna lift home?” she asked the orange pegasus.
“Yeah, sure,” Scootaloo replied with a smile. Scoots hopped on Dash’s back and the sky-blue pegasus launched into the air with incredible speed.
“Welp, it’s gettin’ mighty late. C’mon Apple Bloom, it’s time to go. Sweetie can stay us until Rarity comes home from her date,” Applejack said. “And don’t worry there hun - ain’t no aliens are gonna get you,” she joked. Sweetie gulped at the prospect of being captured by aliens.
“Snips, Snails, are your parents home?” Twilight asked.
“We don’t know,” Snails replied.
“We don’t really see them in the evenings,” Snips added.
“They can stay with me until they come back!” Lyra said. Twilight looked at her with uncertainty.
“Are you sure? Would Bon Bon allow it?”
“Of course! She always enjoys visitors, especially on late nights,” Lyra answered. Twilight stared at her for a more moments before she and Spike went home. As the unicorn and the baby dragon took the long road home, they both reflected on tonight’s events.
“That was a weird night wasn’t it?” Spike asked.
“Couldn’t get any more weirder, Spike. Hopefully by tomorrow morning all this alien nonsense will blow over,” Twilight said.
“Yeah, and you’ll probably get your wings too by then,” joked Spike. Twilight glared at Spike for referencing Rainbow’s joke. “I know, I shouldn’t have never said that.”
*****************************************************************************************
(A few hours ago)
On the other side of town, a certain white unicorn mare was enjoying a romantic evening with her special somepony. The stallion in question was one of her customers. He was an elegant stallion with a taste for the theatrical and a well-known business associate of a Mr. Filthy Rich. When he entered her workshop to pick up a dress for his mother, (he loved his mama) he could not for the life of him remove his eyes from the beautiful mare that stood before him. The two flirted with each other so much, that the mare was distracted from her work that day.
Since the two had busy work schedules, they decided to have their first date on the thirty-first of October. The reason they chose Nightmare Night was because it was the only day they have off. The mare and her stallion spent the evening at a fancy restaurant, eating fancy food and drinking fancy drinks from fancy glasses.
“My, what a lovely evening,” Rarity commented.
“Not as lovely as you, my little rose petal,” Casanova said. Rarity blushed at his compliment.
“It’s just so nice to have a break from work and family. I mean, I love my little sister and what not, but she can be a tad bit annoying at times,” Rarity said.
“I know what you mean. My older brother, who lives at home, can drive me nuts while bragging about his non-existent acting career. I sometimes worry about my older brother, who lives at home,” Casanova lamented.
“Oh goodness, what happened to your brother,” Rarity asked.
“My older brother, who lives at home, went to a fine arts college to study acting. After a week, he was kicked out because he was not talented enough. Now he spends the days working as a shoe salespony.”
“That highly unfortunate,” Rarity said.
“There’s no need to worry. As long as I’m with you, nothing can ruin this perfect evening,” Casanova reassured her. Casanova blew her a kiss, in which Rarity “caught” with her hoof. The two laughed, feeling that nothing could possibly ruin this night.
Suddenly, a group a frantic stallions barged into the fancy restaurant. They were in the front entrance yelling “rabble, rabble, rabble!” A butler-type unicorn stallion casually walked towards the group of rabbling stallions.
“Excuse me sirs, but how may help you?” the fancy unicorn asked with his snout raised up.
“You can help us by getting everypony out of this restaurant! There’s news of an alien attack that happened in Fillydelphia, and they’re coming this way!” said one of the stallions. The frantic ponies continued yelling “rabble, rabble, rabble!”
“Would you like me to read you our dinner specials? We have tonight the Fancy Potato and Vegetable Soup, the Fancy Bread and Butter with Cheese, the Fancy Strawberry and Cinnamon Strudels...”
“We don’t want to hear about your fancy snacks! But that strawberry and cinnamon strudels sound delicious. But you gotta get outta here! Aliens are coming, and they’re go to annihilate all of ponykind!”
The frantic stallions stormed out of the restaurant and continued yelling “rabble, rabble, rabble!” They went on to warn others of the extraterrestrial doomsday. The restaurant patrons looked around the room, bewilderment clouding their judgement.
“My goodness, what was that all about?” Rarity asked in shock.
“I’m not sure. Apparently, aliens have landed on Earth and have declared war on the equine race,” Casanova answered.
“Aliens? I must say, that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard in my life, other than when Pinkie Pie tells her ‘History of Equestria’ stories,” Rarity said.
“This reminds me of the time when my older brother, who lives at home, once claimed that he was abducted by aliens,” commented Casanova.
**********************************************************************************
(A few months ago)
In front of a mansion, royal guards were arresting a stallion who others claimed was disturbing the peace. A group of five or so guards tried to force him into a chariot, but he was able to overcome them and kept yelling at his audience.
“We have to stop them! I was foalnapped by space aliens five years ago, they did all kinds of experiments on me! They’ve been studying us for years! Finding out our weaknesses! We gotta stop them! They’re gonna kill us all!”
Unfortunately, the royal guards overpowered him. The locked in the chariot and flew off to Canterlot.
**************************************************************************************
“He was pronounced insane by ten different psychiatrists,” Casanova said as he finished his story.
“Your brother must live a hard life. I’m so sorry for your situation,” Rarity said with sorrow in her voice.
“Don’t worry. He gets by from selling shoes,” Casanova said with no hint of concern or sadness. Rarity did not know if he was joking or if he was hiding his true pain. However, she smiled and held up her wine glass for a quick toast. As Casanova said before, there was nothing that could ruin this perfect night. Or so they thought.
*********************************************************************************
Sweetie Belle was staying with the Apples’ until Rarity came back from her date. She and Apple Bloom were in her bedroom playing board games and dividing candy. They also talked about last night’s events.
“You don’t think they’re actually aliens out there do you, Apple Bloom?” Sweetie asked.
“For the last time, there ain’t no such thing as aliens. Maybe it just somepony pulling a prank on us. Besides, Princess Luna said she’ll find out what’s goin’ on.”
“But they made it sound so convincing,” Sweetie said.
“Sweetie, remember. Snips and Snails - and Lyra - ain’t the sharpest nails in the toolbox,” Bloom stated.
“What does that even mean?” asked Sweetie. Before Bloom could say anything else, their ears perked at the sound of small stones and pebbles hitting the glass window. Apple Bloom opened the window to who was doing that. To her surprise, it was Scootaloo.
“Scootaloo? How’d ya get her so fast?” Bloom asked.
“I used my scooter, duh! Listen girls, I can’t stop thinking about the aliens.”
“Oh no, here we go again,” Bloom groaned.
“I’m serious! What if this our chance to get our cutie-marks?! We could be the Cutie Mark Crusaders: Alien Busters!”
“Scootaloo, go back home.”
“C’mon, girls! We can totally do this! Pleeaassee?” Scoots pleaded. Apple Bloom was inwardly struggling with herself. She groaned loudly and surrendered to her ambitious friend.
“Alright, I’ll come. But Applejack ain’t gonna like this.”
“Great! What about you, Sweetie Belle?”
“Well... I... uh... I... Ugh! Why do you always drag me into these things?!” Sweetie asked in anguish. Bloom and Belle climbed down the window and met Scoots on the ground. Scootaloo held out her hoof to the two. Bloom and Belle put their hooves on Scootaloo’s.
“Okay girls, on three - one, two, three! Cutie Mark Crusaders: Alien Busters!” Scootaloo yelled.
“... Cutie Mark Crusaders: Alien Busters,” the other two said weakly in unison. The three ran off into the night, searching for the supposed alien threat.
***************************************************************************************
In Canterlot, the Equestrian Guard stood the throne room of the Royal Princesses. Princess Luna gazed upon her perfectly assembled troops. They eagerly await for her to speak. After taking a few moments to take in the situation, she took a deep breath and started her speech.
“Equestrian Guard, we face a dire crisis. An extraterrestrial menace has threatened to declare to war on ponykind. They’re first target was the city of Fillydelphia. We shall avenge the lives that have been lost! We will find them and then crush the otherworldly opposition!”
The Guard cheered and started to scramble. The Pegasi flew to the air, the earth ponies marched to the streets, and the unicorns guarded the fortress. Princess Luna was determined to bring down the demons from beyond the stars.
What could possibly go wrong?
********************************************************************************
(Somewhere, in Fillydelphia)
Night. Empty streets. Two ponies standing on a street corner.
“Gee, nothing exciting happens around here, doesn’t it?”
“Nope. Guess not. Heard the news? Ponies think we’re dead.”
“How?”
“Aliens.”
“... That’s new.”
“Tell me about.”
“At ponies are starting to notice us.”
“Yep.”
“Should we tell them we’re okay?”
“Nah, l say let them worry about us some more.”
“Okay. So how about those Fillydelphia Fillies?”
