My Little Pony: Alternate Universal Magic

Episode 7B: Death of a Sales Neon:

And so a new arc begins in Neon’s World…. Neon’s evil plot to kill KingBlowHard. Granted most of us already knew that’s what he wanted the moment we saw the look on his face, so it isn’t surprising or anything like that. It’s just not subtle, but hey, what do we care if Neon wants to kill a dolphin or not?

He already killed everyone else in this world, might as well add dolphins to that list too. Still though, we didn’t want any part of this ordeal. We weren’t gay or fruity, and we certainly didn’t want to deal with any scout masters that would want to take advantage of us. Sure, we were adults, but when did that stop those bastards?

Regardless, we were held up against our own will, not because of Neon, but because of Arrell. Whatever hope he had left in Neon’s World was all hinged on being part of the BlowTroops. Some would say he was insane and coping and seething. I mean, it was mutated animals, why the fuck would he be happy to be part of this?

Then again, it was his fetish so I guess fair enough. But at the same time, no sane person would attach themselves to the name BlowTroops either. But who knows, maybe it was all comical and it was just there for show…. Or not. Either way, we were all part of the BlowTroops…. Even Wolf…. But he seemed to have taken it very well when we had to tell him he was part of the BlowTroops.

Granted, he wasn’t excited either and still felt lifeless, but it did get him moving a little bit. And truth be told, even if it’s just a little bit, it’s good for his health. Speaking of health, due to a lack of sunlight with the green haze covering everything in Neon’s World, staying healthy is a very important thing in Neon’s World.

That’s why I use Green Squeeze, the only healthiest drink to have in case of a Neon Emergency. And don’t ask what is in the Green Squeeze, I don’t know. And if you want to know why I tried to advertise the Green Squeeze to you, it’s because Neon knows we would all eventually die and suffer due to the lack of a sun. So he is purposely keeping us alive with making sure we get the vitamins and minerals that we need…. He just didn’t say how we would be getting our vitamins and minerals. Either way though, a nice, cool, refreshing Green Squeeze does hit the spot at times.

It keeps me going and with no crashes at all. Side effects include: Depression, suicide, thoughts of suicide, thoughts of jacking it off while hanging yourself, thoughts of existential crises, thoughts of Chevy Chase, bloated stomach, loss of ability to feel anything at all, fifty percent chance of cancer, a possible formation of Super AIDS, and a slight increase of potential death. Ask your doctor if Green Squeeze is right for. Buy now and enter your chance to win a tip for you and three of your friends to a shithole somewhere of your choosing. No purchase is necessary, you are liable to pay your own taxes in states of Illinois and California.

So aside from the Green Squeeze, it wasn’t even a few days before we heard more about the Blow Troops. A big boxed package arrived for Arrell and just left on the front porch of the Party Store at 3 in the morning, during the ol’ fashioned witching hour time. This journal entry has been brought you by Jerry’s Pitch Fork and Torches. Come to Jerry’s Pitch Fork and Torches for all of your pitch forks and torches needs. It’s even good during the Witching Hour to hunt for some witches.

Jerry’s Pitch Fork and Torches, There’s Nothing Wrong With Jerry. Neon didn’t tell me to put that ad in, Jerry who is still alive did. Don’t tell Neon, but he’s still alive and still wants to sell some pitch forks and torches. But I’m more surprised that there’s a pony named Jerry in this universe. That doesn’t sound like a pony name, but that’s Jerry for you. Good ol’ Jerry…. He’ll probably be dead the next time I see him. Neon always sniffs out the stragglers. At least he’ll die doing what he loved…. Selling pitch forks and torches…. Rest In Peace Future Dead Jerry. Rest in peace….

Anyways, Arrell got the box in and he yelled out through the whole Party Store, “Hey guys, it’s finally here. Come on down and see!!!!”

While he could have woken us up individually to come and get us, he rudely interrupted our boredom and sleep so we all groggily got up and stumbled out into the hallway and downstairs…. except for Neon. He just slid into the room like it was nothing with his usual smiling face. In fact he looked a little more giddy than usual, probably because of his plans and everything. By this point, none of us cared what Neon; we were at his mercy anyways.

And it’s not the good kind of mercy, but the scary kind. That kind of mercy where you’ll be beat up and hogtied and will be possibly illegally sodimized, until you realize you’ll be buck broken. But then you think about it, and buck broken doesn’t exist, but then a black guy comes in there and starts debating with you that buck breaking is real. And then he will ramble on how that the Egyptians and Mesopotamians from thousands of years ago had something to do with it while doing mental gymnastics. But then he keeps going and going and going and going and you eventually realize there is no end in sight to the debate so you end up slapping him. The black guy then calls foul and cries like a little bitch as he calls you a racist as he runs off. You don’t know where he goes but probably ends up in a sewer somewhere. And then when you least suspect it, you’re getting buck broken mentally…. And thus the cycle continues…. That kind of mercy.

Anyways, we all stumbled into the lobby of the Party Store…. I guess you call it that…. The dining area? Whatever, we were all there and while we were all annoyed, we were there with ears, ready to listen to Arrell.

He said to us all as he puffed out his chest in pride, “Attention BlowTroop Recurits! Line up straight and report for duty!”

I then said with cynicism in my voice and my eyes wanting to go back to rest as I remained a little groggy, “How about shut the fuck up.”

Jack was right behind me on this, and totally not in a gay way, and said as he had circles under his eyes, “Yeah, why can’t we do this some other time. I was busy dreaming of Forrest?”

Forrest seemed a little flattered by it as he fluttered in the air a bit as he asked kindly, “Was it a pleasant dream of me Jack?”

Jack only shifted his eyes towards him as he was pestered just by his presence, “No, I was teaching a certain faggot not to speak when not spoken to.”

Forrest then landed back down on the ground as his moral dropped to an all time low.

He hanged his head low with a little depression, “You could have at least been soft on me.”

Jack grunted as he said to him, “I’ll never will with you.”

Arrell however ignored all of that and said with a prideful smile, “Maybe other ponies who are lazy and don’t want to do work would put it off for later. But we’re official BlowTroops now! We represent this organization and we must do it with pride as we uphold the BlowTroop Code!”

Arrell held on to a huge smile as he closed his eyes and tried to make his back straight like a pole.

Mac then blurted out, “What code?”

Arrell then opened his eyes and then tried to think. He then started to seem a little uncertain about it as he put his right hoof to this chin and went, ‘hmmmmm’. He stood there as we waited as I started to feel like it was all coming apart. Arrell eventually came up with a small answer that seemed believable enough to put in the energy today.

Arrell said with a pride filled smile once more, “It is to scam Non-BlowTroop members and make it look cool that we can tie many different types of knots!”

I said underneath my breath as I looked around for something to perk me up a bit, “Yeah, that sounds about right.”

Let’s be honest here, the only difference the BlowTroops and the BoyScouts of America is that the BlowTroops don’t have the lust for little boy’s butt. So in a sense, it was ethical to join the BlowTroops.

And I guess since I’m in it now, Join the BlowTroops today! You can trust us, age ISN’T just a number. And sign up a friend the same day and you’ll get some cheap chewing gum for free. Arrell made me do it…. Plus I want to earn my Advertising badge. Hopefully I have been a wonderful psyop for you today thus far as you read this in the future.

Anyways, after Arrell opened the box and gave us all of our uniforms; we all lined up outside of the Party Store in the green fog filled sky, Neon included. The uniforms themselves were rather simple as they were all the same format, yet each one was unique in their design. This was mostly due to it being all made of rags and scraps found out in the depressed wastelands, but hey, we got some mix and match stitched together in the universe.

It was mostly dull colors though with one long sash around our chests that was surprisingly made out of that cheap velvet you see sometimes in store departments at the mall. We had no badges on other than a badge that shows a little dolphin named BlowHard Jr.

It was to symbolize that we were merely children in this organization, and into the metaphorical adult hood, we had to pay our taxes. That’s why, it’s always best to keep your gun loaded at all times and know exactly where the important parts of your brain are. They can’t collect if you’re dead. Just leave it for the uncle you don’t like. They’ll pay…. They always pay in the end…..

Anyways, we were all lined up and ready for our first day of the BlowTroops. We were all standing in unison in our uniforms, and while we weren’t straight, we were straighter than the United stated Military. Hey, don’t ask, don’t tell, am I right?....

We were mostly unamused, but hey, what else were we going to do that day? Plus Neon seemed imminent about the whole thing, and in his world, you have no choice. As we all stood in a line, including Wolf, although he had no uniform oddly enough, Arrell stuck his chest out in pride as he walked back and forth in front of us. He wore his uniform with pride with a badge with the symbol of a mini KingBlowHard on it to show that he was the leader of his BlowTroop. So as he puffed his chest full of air, he got serious with us, almost as if he was trying….

Arrell said as he closed his eyes in confidence and with sheer dedication, “Alright, listen up you BlowTroop maggots! I don’t know where you all came from, or what toilet they scraped you out of, BUT I AM HERE TO SET YOU STRAIGHT!?”

Jack then got a little irked with Arrell’s tone of voice.

He looked angered as he put one hoof forward and demanded, “Hey, no pony talks to me that way!”

Arrell wasn’t going to have any of it as he immediately lunged at Jack and pushed him back into the line formation as he scolded him, “YOU DON’T TALK TO YOUR SUPERIOR BLOWTROOP LEADER, YOU HEAR ME!?”

Jack, not feeling like to belittled by someone like Arrell, decided to mumble under his breath while rolling his eyes, “I’m going to get you for this one day, when you least expect it.”

Arrell then got hissy at him, “WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME YOU BAGUETTE!?”

Jack rolled his eyes once again and said to get the whole ordeal over with, “Nothing you jackass.”

Arrell then closed his eyes and went back to walking back and forth in a line, “That’s better. Now, our first job to prove that we are worthy of meeting KingBlowHard himself and to be in the top tier of all of the BlowTroops, we must perform the first task of earning our first badge as a Troop. The first badge we will earn is The Scammer Badge. It is a nice badge, and a badge that we will wear with pride once we earn it together! We will gladly ALL show off the badge with a skeleton cowboy in a wheelchair off to the other BlowTroops to show that WE are BlowTroop Material! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR!?”

We all said in unison in a very lousy type of tone, “Yeah…. ”

Arrell wasn’t satisfied with our response and so he bulged out a little as he put on a scowl look on his face, “WHAT WAS THAT YOU BAGUETTES!?”

So we all annoyingly said with some sarcasm in a slightly higher tone while rolling our eyes, “Yeah!”

Arrell wasn’t liking it as well as our tone as he started to flutter a bit with his wings and getting closer to our faces, “ARE YOU ROLLING YOUR EYES AT ME YOU BAGUETTES!? I WILL TAKE THOSE EYES AND REPLACE THEM WITH YOUR BALLS IF YOU DISRESPECT ME AGAIN! NOW DID I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR!?”

We all then stared forward, yet with still unamused looks on our faces, as we all said, “Yes Arrell!”

Arrell was still getting on our nerves as he got very close to our faces as he lifted himself up higher just a bit from the ground, “MY DEAD GRANDMA CAN SCREAM LOUDER THAN YOU, AND HER VOCAL CORDS WERE RIPPED OUT BY A FUCKING BEAR WHILE WRESTLING ANOTHER BEAR! Allegedly….”

Despite Arrell’s attempt to intimidate us, and a tidbit of information that we didn’t know about him, Jack had enough and spoke up for the rest of us, except for Forrest who was shaking a little bit, and stood up to the leader.

Jack got even closer to Arrell’s face and demanded, “Back the fuck up or else I’m going to rip you a new one!”

Arrell then had a confident smile form on his face as he closed his eyes and nodded, “Better.”

Arrell then gently landed himself towards the ground as he kept his chest puffed out while gracefully holding his left hoof up a bit. As he landed, he looked towards us all with pride, as if we were family and he was the father and we were his children.

He said to us with respect and a sense of humility, “My Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Not So Great, Not So Great Grandfather was not part of the BlowTroops, but if he was, I am sure he would be proud of me and all of us today; as we set out to earn our first badges. Now my fellow young BlowTroops, make him proud!”

Arrell stood on all fours, straight and tall as he closed his eyes while thinking he was a true leader or something. Instead he kind of looked like a jackass with some ego problems, but who cares.

We all just looked at him if he was that one douchebag who couldn’t shut up about his cool gaming PC and that he can do all sorts of things; but really at the end of the day, it was to compensate for his very small penis. You know, the ones that need to compensate for everything…. even their height. Sure, it seems cool, but what’s underneath is what really counts…. And it’s a disappointment. Go do a double back flip off a Chuck E. Cheese, break your legs, climb back up, and do it again.

Anyways, after Arrell was stroking his big ego and possibly his tiny dick, we all mumbled under our breath and talked about what a stuck up he was and everything.

Arrell, unaware of what we were saying about him to ourselves, opened his eyes with gratitude and raised his left arm up, “NOW, TOWARDS YOUR STATIONS EVERYPONY!”

Mac then asked with a raised left eyebrow, “What stations?”

Arrell then started to look a little nervous and said, “Uhhh…. The stations I gave you?”

He shrugged as he started to put on a small smile.

I then said to him with a straight face, “You’re not a very good leader are you?”

Arrell looked a little offended towards me, “Of course I am…. Just not as a BlowTroop Leader.”

He had to hide his fragile little ego as he puffed his chest out once more and closed his eyes and being a little snooty. I quietly rolled my eyes at him.

Arrell then rolled his eyes too as he put his right hoof to his chin, “Now let’s see uhh…. Neon and Wolf, you can bake the cookies, Knight and Forrest can go door-to-door, and Jack and Mac, you can help advertise the cookies. And I can keep track of the sales.”

He then looked to all of us with a hopeful smile that the only other one who could pull off was Forrest, “Remember, we need to make 17,647,059 in Blow Bucks in order to get the badge; 23,529,412 Blow Bucks if we want to get the Super Special Badge.”

Forrest was curious about the amount we needed to make as he raised his right hoof up and asked, “Uhhh, sorry but that sounds impossible. And what are Blow Bucks?”

Arrell then said with a giddy tone, “Why it’s the official currency of the BlowTroops of course!”

Arrell’s smile started to disappear again as he then thought about it for a bit, “And uhh…. I think I read the inflation for Blow Bucks is very high so we just need at least 7,214 bits I think.”

Arrell then smiled again, “But it goes to a good cause…. The B-TEMA Fund! I think it’s supposed to be a fancy reconstruction and renovations project for the needy that I read in the pamphlet.”

Arrell then fluttered close to us as he held his left forearm out and tried to entice us to get in a circle despite us not doing it, “Now bring it in you guys. We do this together as a team!”

We didn’t care to do a cringe team morale boost that you see in sports sometimes, but really it does nothing other than create painful memories as you cringe about the prep talk…. So we all just left and went to our jobs. Once we all left, Arrell was left alone as he was hanging loose.

However, he still took it like a champ as he raised his left arm up in cheer, “GO TEEEEAAAAMMMM! YEAH!” He was still alone and no one cared.

NEON AND WOLF….

So I guess I have to give you the details on this I suppose. I suppose you want to know and not a short version of everything…. And even if you didn’t, suck it bitch, I’m writing this journal. It’s mine…. Anyways, Neon and Wolf were in the kitchen with all of the necessary ingredients to make Neon’s famous, Crazy Cracky Cooky Cookies. And before you assume anything, it was his recipe before the explosion happened, although he did add a secret ingredient involving the bone marrow of any remains left.

So with all of the stuff in the kitchen, both were standing in the middle of the kitchen, Wolf looked up at Neon and asked like an addict recovering, “So uhh…. What are we doing here? Are we making some kind baked goods or…. What? What’s the deal here?”

Neon then perked up a bit as the pupils in his eyes shrunk the smallest they have ever been.

Neon then placed his left hoof on his mouth as he gently said to Wolf, “Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….”

Neon then slid like an NPC out of the kitchen quickly and out the kitchen door to god knows where.

Wolf didn’t get scared or anything as he simply sat in place as he said, “Oh….”

He then let a moment of silence wheeze on by before he said to himself after looking around, “Well….I think I can make the cookies.”

Then everything caught on fire, leaving Wolf not being able to make any cookies as he said to himself, “Oooohhhh….”

ME AND FORREST….

So yeah, now what happened to me and Forrest? Well, let’s see…. Uhh… right after we all ditched Arrell, I was walking and Forrest was flying with his wings near the ground as we walked into what remained of Stalia. And let me just say…. Forrest is a fat ass little bitch for using his wings instead of walking. What, couldn’t he have at least got a little exercise and lose some weight? What was he, Karen Carpenter? The big ol cow that had to eat and go mooooooo?

Well, Forrest had his exercise problems as I was trying to think for a moment what the hell we were supposed to have been doing to begin with. As we were by ourselves, I started to have an annoyed, yet eureka type look form on my face as I stared at the ground while walking.

Forrest had a smile with his fat ass as I blurted out loud, “How the hell does Arrell expect us to sell cookies door-to-door? No pony else is really alive…. technically.”

We then stopped in our tracks as I was cynical and Forrest had a nervous smile as he fluttered in the air, “I don’t know, maybe he wants us to sell some to those underground ponies from before?”

Forrest gave me a shrug as I just sighed. I then looked around only to be reminded of the explosion that Neon had caused. Some parts of buildings remained up, but most of it was a war zone with an eerie sense of a past that no longer was. Just looking out in the deserted town, it felt like a ghost or two could have been watching us; a pair of eyes watching us and we wouldn’t have known. Regardless of the feeling of loneliness and someone nearby creeping up on us, we kept our heads in the game and selling cookies door-to-door…. Despite not having any cookies to sell. I’m guessing Arrell wanted us to pre-order cookies or something but without any pre-order bonuses.

I looked to Forrest and said to him with my usual cynical look, “I don’t think they would want any cookies from us with what happened last time.”

Forrest then said with a slight worried look upon his brow, “So then how do we help Arrell and sell the cookies then?”

Forrest, being the innocent fat ass that he was, pushed me to at least give it a try at least. So I gave a sigh as I closed my eyes and put my right hoof up to my face.

I then looked back up at Forrest and said to him as he smiled at me, “Alright, let’s give it a try. It wouldn’t hurt I guess….”

So he followed me as we walked up to a random, partially destroyed house to our left.

As we walked up the partially destroyed building, the door was still intact as I said to him, “Let’s try this one I guess.”

As Forrest continued to flutter in the air, I knocked heavily four times on the wooden door. After a few seconds had passed, Forrest still had his hopeful smile, thinking that somepony would come. I on the other hand I had thought no one would come to do the door. Surprisingly…. I was wrong. A pale stallion who was transparent and pretty much just a husk of a shell, opened up the door. Nothing in particular in terms of detail to say about the ghost stallion, other than it was just a stallion with a fedora hat on.

He also looked kind of depressed too as he opened the door, “Can I help you?”

Me and Forrest wasn’t too surprised as we kept our cool and our salesmen look on…. Which was only cynicism. I did the talking while Forrest was my backup.

I tried to entice the ghost pony, “We’re selling cookies that don’t even exist yet. Give us the money for them.”

Forrest then said with an innocent plea, “Please, it’s for a good cause…. I think….”

The Ghost pony stared at us and asked with his pale eyes, “Are you two salesponies?”

I then said with a tad bit of hesitation as I pulled slightly back, “Yeeeees?”

The ghost stallion then said as he slightly opened the door to us to look inside, “Well…. You’re not first ones around here….”

The ghost stallion opened the door all the way to where we could get a peek inside. Through the doorway, we saw a mostly destroyed living room with part of the walls destroyed and part of the wallpaper rotting away. We tilted our heads as by the half destroyed couch, we saw a dead stallion body just lying there. It looked like it has been there for years, rotting away as the matter decays. It was all but a skeleton left with half an eyeball in the left socket and some bits and pieces of flesh being eaten by some starving, slightly mutated rats that lived within the walls. Most would have been shocked and horrified, but since we knew Neon, it was just another day that ended in Y and E.

We looked back to the ghost stallion and I asked with a tad bit of curiosity, “Is that supposed to be you?”

The ghost stallion then said, “Yeah…. It’s me.”

I then asked simply, “What happened to you?”

The ghost stallion said while hanging his head low, “I was a salespony.”

I then asked, “What were you selling?”

The ghost stallion then said while swinging the front door back and forth like a nervous child, “I went door-to-door selling pills to give stallions erections for four hours straight. I went inside this home to demonstrate the pill.”

I then said while being unamused by his lame story, “Oh…. So how did you die?”

The dead salesman then said to me while looking at me in the eyes, “I accidently took the second pill in case the first pill didn’t work and you can’t get it up in front of the mare.”

I then asked him, “What pill is that?”

The ghost stallion then delivered the punch line, “a cyanide pill….”

Somewhere in the background, at least in Neon’s World, you could hear a ‘womp womp’ and a slide whistle playing the in the background as Forrest and I shook our heads in embarrassments for this poor sack of shit…. And if there were others watching, I’m sure there would have been a laugh track too.

The ghost stallion said to us in a disappointing tone, “I’m sorry I can’t help you guys. But since you’re here, you’re interested in some special pills?”

I then said to him to a final blow to him while he’s still down, “No thanks, we’re not gay.”

We then turned around and walked away back to the Party Store. As we walked away, the ghost stallion continued to sob quietly to himself as he just gave himself some pity. He then took out some ghost rope and tied a noose around his neck, walked to what was part of the first floor ceiling, and tied the ghost rope around a half broken wooden beam. He then floated up a little and tried to hang himself.

And somewhere in the background again, you can hear a ‘womp womp’ and a slide whistle being played. And if you paid close enough attention, you could just hear in the far distance in Neon’s World a group of laughing dead people. On a brighter note, a ghost can kill themselves apparently. Where they go, I don’t even know; this whole portal thing only gets me so far you know….

JACK AND MAC….

So I guess I have to talk about these two don’t I? Well if I must you piece of scum eating hick shitting hilly billy mother fucker. And yes, that was all grammatically accurate. Where you might say? Me, because I’m writing it…. Bitch….

Anyways, while Wolf was dealing with the fire and me and Forrest were questioning what we were doing anymore; Jack and Mac happened to be doing the same exact thing. And for that I will patent it and sue them for it. Well for them when they walked away, they looked like as if they were busy and knew what they doing, but instead tried to play hooky from their job and went around the back of the Party Store instead.

As they went around, they went near the dirty looking alley part of the building; a place that really hasn’t changed too much even after Neon’s explosion surprisingly. It looked like as if it was still part of a world where everyone was still alive…. near a fucking dumpster.

There was a grimy brick wall layout, a barely working light above the back door that continued to flicker on and off at times. And to top it all off, what could you want more than your complimentary slightly bent tin trash cans and a big dumpster to dive into. You know, the ones that people like to go into at the back of GameStops to find half eaten, rotten food and to fend off a rabid raccoon. Yeah…. there’s a charm to those things you know, every kid should learn to go into those things and learn some new life skills. And the weakest will perish from the world and only the strong will remain; making the future genes the strongest.

The two went around the building, as they looked around to make sure Arrell wasn’t looking to see them slacking on the job. Once the coast was clear, Jack leaned against the dirty brick wall to look like a wannabe greaser and Mac cracked his neck as he gave a relaxing sigh.

Mac then blurted out loud with a slight southern twang smile of his, “Ahhhh…. Nothing like not doing your work, am I right?”

Jack just nodded his head in agreement, almost as if he wasn’t listening to him, “Yeah yeah yeah yeah, sure. So this is the plan, you go do the advertising; I’ll just be here and pretend that I’m thinking about it.”

Mac then looked a little confused as he rubbed the back of his head, “Are you sure about that? Don’t you know something that fancy smancy alphabetizing or something like that?”

Jack then looked sternly at him, “What are you, retarded? Look around us! There’s no one to advertise to or make death threats to force ponies to buy!”

Mac then turned his eyes slightly to the side and smiled gracefully as he gave himself a little chuckle as he placed his left hoof to his mouth, “Yeah…. I remember when I made threats too. Those were good times selling apples.”

Jack then strategized as he moved his left hoof around, “Look, we can’t go completely empty hoofed to Arrell. We need to have tried something.”

Mac went back to being a confused dummy as he shrugged his pony shoulders, “Well how do we do that Jack?”

Jack then placed his left hoof under his thinking chin pose as he looked around for an answer. And then…. an answer soon came as a half mutated rat came limping out of the nearby trash cans right behind Mac.

As soon as he spotted the half mutated rat, he pointed at it with his left hoof as the rat continued to limp away in grieving pain, “Go tell that thing about our cookies.”

Mac looked at the half mutated rat solemnly and his eyes lit up like a light.

Mac then straightened up his pose as he pointed to the half mutated rat with his left hoof, “WOAH NEELY, that’s a fancy looking rat if I ever seen one. It must have lots of money we can threaten him for!”

Mac then looked towards with a hint of suspicion on his face, “Wait a minute…. You’re going to make me take the fall for this job won’t you? Well I won’t fall for your tricks you slithery snake in the grass!”

Jack was unmoved by Mac’s stupidity so he simply said to him to get him off his back, “I’ll let you win at Pony Poker later tonight if you act like a clown to it for four minutes!”

Mac then yelled out in slight excitement, “Deal! I am so going to beat you tonight; you won’t know what kind of deck I’ll have!”

Jack nodded his head in agreement as Mac went off and acted like one of those sign clowns that you’d see on the street corners, advertising to a half mutated rat that didn’t even know English…. let alone anything a pony was saying. Yet the rat itself was terrified and just wanted its life to end by that point.

Suffice it to say, Mac didn’t win at Pony Poker that night…. He was too stupid to understand that Jack gave him the best hand and I won that night instead. You didn’t think Jack was an asshole enough to lie to Mac did you? Well maybe to Forrest, but still, he was a good friend just trying too hard with Mac.

ARRELL….

And so we round up everything with back to our BlowTroop Leader, Arrell, who was back inside, not having a single worry about selling the cookies. In fact, he had a smug look face on as he sat in what was Neon’s office upstairs, which used to be Mr. Sweet’s office back when he was alive.

Some say, you can still hear his voice inside the walls as he cries out, “Bitch, open this fucking wall, I’m still alive!”

It’s sad really. It’s like here’s still here with us. Anyways, in the office room that was mostly of rotten decay and crumbling wood with an unbalanced picture frame, Arrell sat at the main desk. It was a big, old desk from what seem like a hundred years ago that could tell you history of a dead body or something. There was an old, odd rolling pony chair that was half broken and made an eerie creaking noise whenever you’re sat your fat ass in it, especially if it was a pony ass in it. It was even cheaper than a Shaq chair. Arrell sat in it as he laid back as if he owned the joint as he had a careless smile across his face.

He then began to day dream a way of getting his scammer badge. He even hummed a little tune to himself that he made up on the fly as he moved his left hoof in motion to it as tried to tip his chair backwards. Soon his little bubble was busted as Wolf walked right on into the room. He had arrived unannounced and not even caring to knock as he had a little bit of black smut all over his body. At the same time however, he was unaffected by it as he looked like he was in black face.

Wolf walked right up to Arrell as he was in his chair and blurted out, “Hey uhh…. All the cookies were burned.”

Arrell immediately shot up with a shocked face as he lost his balance and fell backwards while yelling, “WHAT!?”

As he fell off his chair and tried to get himself back up, Wolf then asked without much resistance, “Can I get paid now?”

Before Arrell had time to answer, me and Forrest came walking in as I said to him with a cynical tone, “Hey Arrell, I don’t think you thought this through. No one is alive to buy the cookies.”

Arrell started to get a little worried as his legs started to shake a little, “What?”

Mac and Jack then came in just like how we did.

Jack did the talking as he looked like a scammer of some kind on his face while Mac had a stupid smile on his face, “Hey uhh, we totally advertised to ponies out there and we did the job. So can we get an award for our efforts or….”

Mac then blurted while being a little jumpy about it, “We told a rat about our cookies and I think we caught one Arrell! And that rat is going to tell his friends and those rats will to tell their friends and that’s like…. Five rats who are going to buy our cookies!”

Jack looked at him with disdain on his face as he looked him in the eyes, “You fucking idiot. Now we can’t lie anymore and have to say there was no pony to advertise to!”

Arrell was starting to get scared as he raised his left hoof to his face as he said to himself, “What?....”

A terrible horn was blown from down below, indicating the representative from The BlowTroops was here for a checkup. Once the horrible notes hit our pony ear drums, most of us cringed a little as our pony ears folded backwards. Arrell was affected most of all as he was dreading that sound in hopes that he didn’t have any bad news. We all collectively went downstairs to the front of the store like how we did before. Once we made it to the front, the representative from before in his loser glory was there, still looking funny at us.

He asked out in his scuffed like tone, “So, did you get the amount of sales you needed to earn your badge?”

Arrell was nervous as he started to rub his right arm with his left hoof. We all circled around Arrell and Jack decided to push Arrell forward like the asshole that he was as he produced a small smirk. Arrell started to become ashamed with himself as he hung his head with disappointment and trying to find the words.

Arrell said “Well you see….”

Arrell was then interrupted by Neon as he came from out of nowhere with a big bag filled with Blow Bucks. He plopped it right down in front of Arrell as he hid a surprised look on his face.

Neon just stood there afterward as he said, “We sold lots and lots of cookies!”

The representative then said, “Huh…. Well that’s more than what you needed. Well King Blow Hard will be very pleased with this. You’ve earned your badge.”

The representative then in a weird and disturbing way, reaching into his skin, took out 7 Scammer Badges for us to put on to our rag like uniforms. He just took it out of his skin and threw it on the floor.

He then took the bag and dragged it out the door as he said, “Good luck with the next badge.”

He then left without a single word and we were all a little confused. Arrell however was happy and was suddenly filled with hope and wonder once again.

Arrell, a little taken back while putting on a smile, asked Neon, “How on earth did you get all of that money Neon?”

Neon then wrapped his left hoof around Arrell’s neck and got very close to Arrell’s face as they touched foreheads and noses.

Neon then said while smiling and saying in a very deep, disturbing voice, “I am the psyop of psyops…. Don’t ask.”

Neon then let go and we all stayed silent. Arrell was a little disturbed by it as he had a worried look, but then soon turned humorous as he laughed it all off. Arrell chuckled away while Neon started to laugh too. We didn’t laugh as we were in metaphorical pain with all of this, but Neon looked towards us as if he was going to rip us a new one if we didn’t laugh.

So me, Forrest, Jack, and Mac started to fake laugh too. Wolf however was excused from laughing, that bastard….

And so, ended another day of…. Neon’s World…. Another time I guess…. another day….