Attempt 1
3:45 PM on a Tuesday

I looked at the fridge with a little pride now, taking in its new accessory. I had made sure to put chains in the places that would let 'unwanted' intruders to steal all her food. As I slid the key out of the lock I happily turned towards my room, thinking of the carrot cake waiting on my bed. But then I heard the one thing I thought I would never hear in my kitchen. It was the sound of digging. I followed the sound getting closer extremely quickly, and then near the fridge. I'm pretty sure my eyes widened three times what they were supposed to when I realized what or who was causing it. My thoughts were confirmed when I heard a muffled but familiar phrase.

"Oh goodie! More muffins for me!"

I quickly put the key back into the lock and opened the door, seeing a miner hat ducking into a hole in the bottom of my fridge with all my food.

"Oh no you don't!" I reached and pulled the miner hat with all my might, which resulted in me getting head butted by it. The last thing I heard from the fridge was the owner of the miner hat whispering 'sorry' before disappearing. "This isn't over, Derpy!" I grabbed my head because of the pain caused by my yelling. "ow."

Attempt 2
12:05 PM on a Wednesday

With new bandages secured around my head, I had decided to try a different approach. The preparations with my neighbors had gone without a hitch, and I had even just finished putting the new fridge in. Yep, it has three layers of solid steel and a locking mechanism that would put bank safes to shame. Not even a sonic rainboom would be able to bust it open, only nick it at best.

"Finally done. Now I can read that fiction book I just got." I walked up the stairs and into my room, looking towards my bookshelf for the newest book in my collection so far. I picked it up and looked at the black Alicorn on the front, right below its title. "Well, Past Sins. I guess I'll give you a try."

It took a few hours to read a couple of the chapters when it started getting dark out. I looked over at the clock and saw that it was already ten o' clock. A low grumble came from my stomach, signaling the lack of food throughout the day. I got out of bed and walked downstairs, expecting the same sight I had seen when I entered my room. But what I was met with was a blow torch, a welders mask, and the door of the fridge lying on the floor in front of an empty compartment. I was both shocked and angered at what I saw. But near the door lied a single note with two words on it.

Nice try.

I was starting to angrily hyperventilate, but that was interrupted by the smell of something burning. I sniffed a bit, thinking that it smelled a bit like hair. "Why do I smell carrot scented hair burning?" I looked down and was met with the sight of the blow torch lighting my hair on fire. " aaaaaaaahhhh." That's all I yelled before running out the door. But I'm not a complete idiot, I made sure to turn the blow torch off before I ran towards the nearest source of water.

Attempt 3
8:10 AM on a Thursday

By now, I just decided to throw science at a wall here, or something like that. I can never really remember what that guy Archaic says in the heat of the moment. He even helped me build a new fridge. He said that it uses visible light to act like solid matter or something. It didn't mater to me, all I know is that if anything tries to touch the food inside of it without opening the door, they won't have a hoof. I know it's a bit extreme, but I'm starting to run out of ideas here.

I decided to walk up the stairs but hesitated when I saw a grey blur with a mirror pass me. I sighed and ran to see what her new attempt would be, and at that I was immediately blinded by an extremely bright mirror. It took a couple of minutes until I could see shapes again, and even then I could see that once again, the food was gone.

"Why is this happening to me?" I sighed. I even began feeling my right eye twitch, even though I couldn't see out of it. "Great, my right eye is blind and starting to twitch. That's just Greaat."

Attempt 4
6:00 PM on Friday

By now I was just winging it. I had 'borrowed' one of Pinkie Pies party cannons, and had prepared for an all out war in front of the fridge. Now I was just playing the waiting game. My left eye had been twitching since I put an eye patch over my right one, expecting to see out of it in the next week or so.

After a while, I noticed a couple of things very odd about the party cannon. Unlike most cannons, the inside glistened as if it were coated with something. That's probably how Pinkie Pie fires herself out of it without being blown to bits. There was also enough room to not just fit snugly for one pony, but it looked like it could fit two with both feeling comfortable. It also seemed that there was a small compartment filled with fireworks for some reason.

"Why is it so dark in here?" I lit a match to see the entire compartment, completely oblivious to the big red button I had pushed. I even started to hear a faint ticking noise from the inside. "Why do I smell gun powder?" It took me a couple of seconds to realize my mistake, but was too late when the ticking stop. "Damn my idiocy." And at that, I was catapulted through my roof and into the air.

And when I was high enough, I realized that the party cannon was meant for fireworks, not ponies as I had thought. I noticed this when a large bright orange burst into existence around me, along with a dark green above me. I thought that the sight of a calm Ponyville was pretty nice from this height. At least I know what a pegasus feels like now, minus the searing pain from fireworks. I started to feel myself descend towards the ground, thinking that I would make a good chalk outline when I landed.

But nothing in my life is what it seems, because when I was about to hit the ground, all I saw were two grey blurs, and an amber and blue aura surround something put under me before I felt the full force of hitting a solid object and passing out.

When I woke up, I was met with five passed out ponies in chairs. I looked around and saw that I was in the local hospital, and in pretty bad shape. I was taken out of my beginning thought process by the bombardment of five ponies asking a whole sort of questions about what had happened. After they calmed down, with me having to yell at them to stop, I was able to explain what had happened.

"Wow, CT, I didn't know you could take so much pain." Vinyl stated, with respect in every word. "Oh yeah, speaking of which...." She looked over to Lyra who shrugged and handed over twenty bits. "Thanks for the easy money."

I smiled at their little antic, before being tugged by a gray hoof. My wall eyed roommate looked a little sad and ashamed , but I couldn't think of why she would be. She then hand me a small bottle that had a small blue box on it. I was a bit confused at this, which was apparently noticed.

"It's Doctor Whooves Cure-All. It gets you out of the hospital a lot faster, my friend The Doctor told me so." Derpy looked oat me, even though she had one eye looking at the window and at me. "I'm sorry I caused all of this. When I saw you falling, I got all our friends to help me save you. I hope you can forgive me."

All I did was smile at her and gave her a hug. "It's alright, Derpy. I don't blame you. You just need to learn to not take the entire fridge with you." She smiled at me as I smiled back. "We can get through this." I smiled for a bit longer before asking Vinyl what time it was.

"About 8:24 on the Fifth of November."

I frowned at this and said only one thing. "God damn references."

Author's Note

Hey everyone, this is a story I thought would be an interesting short. I got the idea from the picture if your wondering. I also hope you liked the little DJ thing I pulled off with Octavia. Anyway, hope you enjoyed the story.
~Dr. Science