The Fridge

When I woke up this morning, I was going to do my daily schedule of breakfast, gardening, going to Sugarcube corner to get those new carrot flavored sweets. But my roommate Derpy had other ideas. I had walked down into my kitchen expecting my fridge to be the same way I had left it, closed and full of all my food that I had put in it from the groceries I had gotten yesterday. But nooo, the universe thought it'd be funny if it told my roommate that there were fresh muffins in there. So now I have an open fridge with its drawers sprawled out on the floor.

After seeing the disaster I knew exactly who did it. I stormed into the living room to see my roommate, the town mailmare and one pony-demolition-team, Derpy sitting on the couch. All around her was the half-eaten contents of our fridge, getting the couch dirty. I even tried keeping calm when I saw this, but my family has been known to be short fused when it comes to anger, and my group of friends doesn't help with that.

First, there's Lyra and Bon Bon, those two have been a couple for the longest of times and you want to know what every conversation turns into when there involved? Always an argument about humans. I swear, they argue about humans like how our friends Vinyl Scratch and Octavia argue about music, but I'm getting off topic.

"What are you doing?" I asked my wall-eyed friend.

"Why I'm sitting of course, silly."

I just smiled at that and tried to not scream in anger.

"Let me rephrase that, why is all our food out of the fridge and on the couch."

"I got hungry last night and decided to get a snack."

"So you took the whole fridge with you?" My smile was starting to waver and would soon turn into a scowl if I don't figure this out. "Derpy, ponies just don't take the entire fridge with them for a late night snack." I said with an unamused frown.

"Who's gonna stop me?"

And that's when I lost it. My face immediately turned into an angry scowl as I stomped towards Derpy, still happily munching on the food.

"What was that?!"

"I said, who's gonna stop me? If you didn't hear that Carrot Top, you might want to get your hearing checked out."

"Oh, no. Now that is the last straw, Derpy. If you think you can just take all the food from the fridge and leave nothing for anypony else in this house, than you've got another thing coming."

"I do?" She had a quizzical look on her face which only angered me even more.

By now my eye started twitching because of not just anger, but of the total incompetance of Derpy right now. Normally I would let it slide, but not now, this is too important.

"Oh yes you do!" I started walking towards the door before Derpy asked where I was going. "Oh, I'm going to get more groceries, and after that, I'm gonna get our friends. And as Celestia as my witness, you will not clear out the fridge ever again!"

Carrot Tops and Derpys basement
6:53 PM on a Monday

I looked over my group of friends with pride, knowing that they would help her in her time of need.

"Now, I know all of you are wondering why I called you here."

"Did you find a fossilized human?" Lyra asked, but was immediately smacked in the back of the head by Bon Bon. "Hey!"

I sighed in frustration at that comment, and just waited for Bon Bon and Lyra to stop arguing. I think it took about thirty minutes before Vinyl pulled out her MP3 player and blasted the loudest dubstep/cello song she had.

"Thank you Vinyl. Now, to the matter at hoof." I pulled down a poster I had been hiding from them earlier. All it showed was a plan to lock up the fridge. Fairly simple at the time. "All of you know how Derpy tends to clean out my fridge, right?" I was answered by silent stares. "Well she does. Which is why I've called you four here. I was thinking that by using some chains and a lock we could make it possible for Derpy to stop raiding our fridge." During the time I spoke, I pointed to each of the items on the poster before turning to my friends. "Any questions?"

A white and aquamarine hoof shot up after I said that. "No, we won't be using anything human related, or wub related." And almost immediately, both hooves shot down, followed by a loud smack near Lyra.

"Awww, and I wanted to get some practice in with my bass cannon before my next gig with Tavi." Vinyl sighed, while Octavia started turning as red as a tomato.

"Vinyl, I told you that was our secret." Octavia fidgeted in her seat.

"Oh it isn't like they won't find out eventually, Miss CDJ CLASS-4 5ths." Vinyl gave a now bright red Octavia a sly smile with a peck on the cheek.

I waited a bit more before letting out a cough to get their attention again. "Now that that is out in the open, is there any more questions that pertain to the matter at hoof." Silence once again answered her. "Good. Now, who's with me?" None of them looked at me with determination, only the oh too familiar 'are you serious' face. "Fine then, I'll do it myself."

After a couple of seconds of waving my hoof, all my friends had gotten up and walked out the door. But I did hear Vinyl bet Lyra that I'd be in the hospital within the week. Once I could no longer hear my friends, I turned towards a large pile of chains near the back of the basement.

"I guess it's just me then." I sighed.