A Weekend Farmhand for Applejack

Applejack rolled a little in her sleep. Normally her hand would fling against her pillow, but this morning her hand smacked against something a bit stiffer. The orange mare slowly opened her eyes and smiled when she saw what her hand laid on. Soarin’ was still sound asleep, still tired from last night’s activities, snoozing away. His chest slowly raised and lowered with his breathing, cradling her hand as she slowly woke up.

Last night seemed like an eternity ago, but he was still there in bed with her, so at least it was real. Applejack slid her arm across his chest, snuggling up against his arm and shoulder. His body was strangely cool, like a melting ice cube warming up against her body. It only made her cling tighter to the pegasus, wanting to share her warmth with him.

Little to her knowledge, Soarin’ was awake as well, just resting his eyes as he let the cowpony burrow herself against his side. Her body felt like it was steaming warm, and it was nice against his fur. He decided to roll over a little, shocking the farm mare a little and wrapping his arm around her, placing it on her shoulder. He leaned in and gave her a quick, but sweet, kiss on her nose.

“Morning, Jackie,” Soarin’ said gingerly, giving a long yawn.

“Morning, Cowboy,” Applejack said, reaching to his head and taking off the cowboy hat that somehow ended up on his head. “I’ll be taking this back, though.”

“How on earth did that happen?” the pegasus wondered. “Last night was such a blur, and I only remember the good details.”

“Well…” the orange mare grinned, pressing herself closer to the stallion. “Y’all were the good details.” She sighed, all the orange mare wanted to do was lay in bed all day next to this stallion, and she would have if it weren’t for the all the work that needed to be done today. So with a reluctant yawn, the mare slowly got up and crawled out of bed.

“Where are you going?” Soarin’ asked.

“We got a big day’s work ahead of us, partner,” Applejack said, bending down to her drawers and grabbing some fresh underwear. “We spent a good chunk of yesterday fooling around, and I don’t regret it for a second.” She started pulling up her panties. “That being said, I still have a farm to run, and only one more day of you to pull the plow.”

“Uh-huh, yeah, totally,” Soarin’ said, not really paying attention, his mind far too lost in the performance of Applejack’s changing, pulling those red panties up her long, muscular legs, the fabric pressing up on her firm, luscious apple bottom. He had gotten really good at his fake listening. “That all sounds great, really.”

Applejack gave him a dirty look. “You didn’t hear a damn thing I said, did you?”

OK, his fake listening needed some work. “What? No, I heard what you said.”

“Really?” Applejack asked, disbelievingly. “What did I say?”

“You… said…” the pegasus said, dragging his words trying to think of what she could have said. “Uh… things… about apples.”

“Apples.” The orange mare said bluntly.

“Yes.” Soarin’ said with confidence. “Apples. Because this is an apple farm, and we need to get apples.”

“Uh huh…” Applejack chuckled, throwing a shirt on. “Well, you’re half right, flyboy. Since I only got one more day with you, I need to put you to work.”

“Or, or…” the Wonderbolt suggested. “We could, and bear with me now…” He took a deep breath. “We could not do that, and instead we could do something more…” He got up and walked over to the farm mare. “We could do something a bit more fun.”

Applejack grinned, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Now there ain’t nothing in the world that’d make me happier than that, but work is work and we’re still shorthanded.” She could tell that he was getting a bit mopey, so she decided to put an offer on the table. “So tell you what, Soarin’. If we get everything done today, we can spend the rest of the day doing whatever you want. How does that sound?”

Soarin’ sprang onto his feet, grabbing his discarded boxer shorts from the ground and hopping into them, his right foot getting stuck in the wrong hole, and he started to struggle, hopping on one foot as he tried to remedy this situation. “Well, what are you waiting for? We have work to do.”

The farm mare chuckled, rolling her eyes. “Granny was right, men are too easy to manipulate.” She went to her dresser and started to rummaging through her clothes. Within moments, she was all dressed up, picking up her jeans from the floor. “I’ll meet you downstairs for breakfast.” With that, she walked out of her room and started to bounce her way down the steps. She was definitely in a giddy mood this fine morning. Colours seem brighter, smells more scented, and life more wonderful. She entered the kitchen humming. Apple Bloom was already there, the young filly giving a loud yawn as she was eating a bowl of cereal. “Howdy y’all.” She said to the young mare.

“Oh goddess she’s happy…” Apple Bloom grumbled, her heavy eyes barely able to keep themselves open.

“Well of course I’m happy, Apple Bloom,” Applejack beamed. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“It’s not that you’re happy, AJ, it’s why you are that has me steamed like a strainer of carrots.”

“Huh?” She asked as she poured herself a glass of juice. “What in the hay are you talking about? Did you not sleep well?”

Her younger sister gave her a dead look into her eyes, a face of grimace and a severe lack of sleep. “Oh no sis,” she said with blunt sarcasm. “I love being woken up in the middle of the damn night from my sister hollering as she’s getting stuffed by her bought boy toy.” She plastered on a big smile. “And I really love hearing you scream ‘pull on it, now!’ or whatever the hell that means at the top of your lungs. Honestly, I don’t want to know.” Her fake smile dropped quickly. “And I thought Big Mac and Cheerilee were bad.”

Applejack, upon hearing this, turned redder than a sunburnt tomato. “Oh… ah… y’all heard that?”

“Yes I heard that!” Apple Bloom snapped. “My room is right across from yours! How in the hell wasn’t I supposed to hear it?” She let her head slam her head down on the table. “Now would you please let me just die both mentally and physically? It’d be much appreciated.”

“Geez… I ah…” the orange farm mare muttered, still completely flushed. “I think that I’ll… I’ll go and do the same.” She took a seat next to her sister and laid her head on the table, staring blankly into the vast void of the kitchen.

It was around this time that Soarin’ had started to make his way down the stairs, and saw the two Apple girls slumped over in a near comatose state of mind. “Umm… morning everypony?” He asked cautiously. It was strange, last time he had seen Applejack she was so full of life and now she looked completely drained of life. “Everything cool down here or did somepony—oh goddess your grandmother didn’t die, did she?” He started running his fingers through his mane nervously. “Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap! Ok uh… don’t really know what to say or do about this…”

“Granny ain’t dead you dolt,” Apple Bloom muttered. “But I’m dead… on the inside…”

“My baby sister heard us having sex last night…” Applejack whispered hauntingly. “She heard… every nasty detail, every sinful moan, every degrading cry and scream as we slammed into one another like—“

“Not helping the suicidal thoughts, AJ,” her little sister groaned.

“Sorry… it’s strange that we didn’t feel this way with Macintosh…”

“Oh I felt it,” Bloom droned. “How would you feel if your teacher for nearly a decade starts appearing at your house, sneaking out of your brother’s room, half-naked, because she and he been humping. Then you have to look at her during class and try not to picture her like that, like you haven’t seen her creeping off at five in the morning, smelling like sweat and bacon grease for whatever Celestia forsaken reason and now she’s teaching your math. The smacking of the ruler stick against her palm mimicking a noise heard that previous night, save for the lustful caws for more—“

“Kay, got it!” Soarin’ interrupted. Now he was starting to feel like taking a dirt nap. “Clearly you guys need to either soundproof your rooms or learn volume control. It’s nothing worth killing yourselves over, right? It’s just sex. It’s natural, we’re all going to do it, and we just have to accept that, all right ladies?” They each gave him a half-hearted nod as they kept the side of their heads planted firmly on the table. “Wonderful, now what’s for breakfast?”

“There is none yet…” Apple Bloom moaned. “Granny’s not up and I’m not in the mood to make anything except a coffin.”

“Same here, sugar cube,” Applejack sighed. “Y’all just have to make something yourself.”

The pegasus looked at the farm mare with confusion. “And would you believe me if I said that I sort of… didn’t know how to do that?” He started to smile nervously as the two girls looked at him like he was some sort of idiot. Which, to be frank they had every right to think. The need to make breakfast, or cook anything never really came up. His mother had made all his meals when he was a child, and when he left to join the Wonderbolts he lived off of restaurants and cafeteria food and there was no need to cook once you were a celebrity and had some of the greatest chefs in Equestria cook for you. “Right then… Applejack could you scoot over a bit?”

*****

Sundays… it was the one day that Granny Smith let herself sleep in a little. As the years wore on that old work horse she realized it was perfectly fine for her to take a little time off here and there during the day. Of course she couldn’t let those young whippersnappers go out on their own yet, not with their hormones at the helms and that new, feathered super-model or whatever Applejack and brought home. Oh, if only she could be young again, she’d show that pretty-boy the time of his life… but alas, her creaking hips and swollen bunions would say otherwise.

It was getting close to seven in the morning, which meant that she had slept in plenty. It was a small battle for her to get herself up from her covers and stretch her weary arms out. She took her time getting dressed and grabbed her trusty walker as she made her way out of her room and down the hall to the kitchen where she expected to see her dear and beloved grandchildren full of life and working on breakfast…

What she got were three fully grown ponies with their heads on the table and their thumbs (metaphorically) up their asses. The green matriarch of the apple clan lifted her walker a few inches from the ground so she could slam it back down. “Now what in the crab-apple hay is going on in here? You all look deader than your grandfather’s last tooth, Celestia rest his soul. Now what has you all down in the manure?”

“I heard Applejack having sex…” Apple Bloom muttered.

“Apple Bloom heard me having sex…” Applejack moaned.

“I’m incapable of providing for myself…” Soarin’ whimpered.

“Oh hog’s spit!” Granny Smith frowned. “Quit your bellyaching. All of you! It’s damn despicable to even look at your three in this sorry state.” Her grandchildren and guest just gave a half-hearted sigh, refusing to move. “Dang it, if y’all don’t stop this nonsense then I’m going to get that looker from the senior centre and we can all listen to me have sex.”

The widening of the three’s eyes were simultaneously as their minds shattered like glass upon picturing the elderly mare doing the deed with another old pony. They all shot up at attendance, looking either pale or green.

“You know it’s perfectly fine that my sister is in love and wants to have a relationship. Same with Big Macintosh,” Apple Bloom said quickly, clutching her mouth shut as she tried to choke down her vomit.

“And I need to respect my family and not be so loud, or move to a different location for my love-making,” Applejack muttered with haste as she felt her throat tighten.

“I can eat a chair, right?” Soarin’ laughed nervously. “I’ll eat whatever I can find as long as I don’t ever have to hear or see that. Please, for the love of everything sacred never let me see that!”

Granny Smith gave the lot of them a rather displeasing stare. “Well it’s nice to know how you younglings feel about my happiness. Almost makes me not want to cook y’all your breakfast. But I’ll do it anyways out of respect for our houseguest.”

Soarin’ sighed. “Thank you,” he said. He could continue to be a giant man-child!

“Thank nothing, young buck,” the old green mare chuckled. “We got a lot of work to do today and I can’t have you fainting on me.”

“Of course, ma’am,” Soarin’ said, readjusting himself at the table. “Although to be frank… I already got all the motivation in the world,” He looked lovingly to Applejack, who tried to hide her face in embarrassment.”

Apple Bloom just rolled her eyes. “And… we’re back to the sex talk.”

“That wasn’t sex talk.”

“It sounded like sex talk, Soarin’.”

“Well it wasn’t,” the Wonderbolt muttered. “I really do just want to make your sister happy.”

“Of course you do… with your penis,” the young mare groaned.

“Enough, Bloom!” Applejack groaned. Although in all this madness there was a good point to be made. There was no place on this farm for them to get any real privacy, not in the house, not in the fields, not even in the barn. If she and Soarin’ were to spend any real, no-hold bars time together then she would need to find them a place where they wouldn’t be bothered by family or onlookers. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that she would have to do a bit of leg work to pull this off. She got up from her seat. “Excuse me, but I got to run into town. I just realized that there’s some errands I need to run.”

“On a Sunday?” Granny Smith wondered.

“They’re new errands,” she said quickly. “I’m sorry but we have Soarin’ here to cover for me, so it’s going to be fine.” She started heading out the door, turning around and waving goodbye to everypony. “Later y’all! And Soarin’ remember our deal!”

The cowpony stepped out of the house and started to make her way down the path to the front gate leading out of the farm. All the while she was making a mental grocery list of what she was going to need to make this night extra special. The first stop… Rarity’s place so she could actually figure out what the hell would make this night extra special. She wanted to do something daring and out of character, really taking the pegasus by surprised. That meant doing girly stuff and that was completely foreign to the country mare.

As she neared the gate, she noticed that there were two figures lingering by the front gate, two ponies that she didn’t recognize. It was a stallion and a mare, both pegasi and shades of blue, with the mare having a watery mane and the stallion a darker one.

Not to be impolite, she greeted them. “Well howdy there,” she said with a smile. “Welcome to Sweet Apple Acres. Is there anything I can do to help you?”

The mare peered down her sunglasses and just stared at her for a few moments. “Just browsing the area. You know you look familiar.”

“Ah well, you know…” Applejack chuckled. “I just have one of those faces I guess.” Plus being a former Element of Harmony and constant saviour of Equestria would do that to you as well. “Well, I have to head out but if you have any questions about produce you can head up to the house. My granny will be more than happy to help you folks out.”

“I’ll be sure to do that,” the mare said, smiling a little as she watched Applejack continue into town. When she was sure she was out of earshot she gave a sigh. It was just as she had feared, this mare was definitely the same from Soarin’s magazines. Misty Sky was glad that she had tracked down that sexy hunk of meat Soarin’. He and her had unfinished business to take care of in the sack.

“So we found the guy, Misty,” the other stallion trembled. “He’s here. Can we please go back to Cloudsdale?”

“Not yet, idiot,” the mare muttered. “Goddess you can be so annoying sometimes, Cumulous.”

“H-Hey! You really shouldn’t be talking to me like that!” The stallion gulped. “I-I bought you at the auction! You’re supposed to do what I tell you, not the other way around. This whole weekend has been a total bust.”

Misty was hardly listening to his rambles. She was just glad that the pony that had won her that weekend was a total pushover and a pansy. She had humoured him for a couple of hours on Friday but after that she had made it her mission to track down Soarin’. After hearing about his little fiasco with that crazed stalker and how he was now somepony else’s Wonderbolt for the weekend, she had spent most of Saturday tracking him down to this little piss stain of a town off the base of Canterlot.

The Wonderbolt knew that Applejack was the mare Soarin’ was looking for, if not for Soarin’s terrible little memory habit he would have probably found her years ago. With luck Misty hoped that he hadn’t realized this yet. Knowing him the second he found out would be the second things got… complicated. And she’d have to resort to plan B.

But for now, she would put on her winning smile, walk up to that tear-down of a house and be the perfect bubbly angel the world saw her as.

*****

Applejack’s knuckles slammed down on the Carousel Boutique’s door for the third time. She had been knocking for nearly twenty minutes and there still was no response. Normally she would have walked away and assume she wasn’t home but sadly she could see the lights on in the upstairs room and the sound of furniture being knocked around. They were home, but Applejack had come at a bad time, a time that seemed to be more frequent than not nowadays.

“Rarity! Put your damn pants back on and open the door! We need to talk!” She yelled, getting a few strange looks from the townsfolk that walked by. The farm mare smiled nervously and waved to them as they made their way by.

Another couple of minutes passed before the door finally unlocked and cracked open ever so slightly. Applejack could barely make out the gleam of Rarity’s blue iris. “Hello Applejack… have I mentioned that Spike and I are terribly sorry for the other day in the barn?”

“Can it, Rare,” the cowpony droned, not wanting to remember that terribly embarrassing encounter for all of them. “Are you and Spike decent? I have to talk to y’all.”

“I… you’re not going to shoot us, are you?” Rarity wondered. “Because I think we’ve been through enough. We ran all through the town naked so I think we’ve been sufficiently punished.”

“I’m not here to talk about that, Rarity, I need to ask you…” She took a deep breath. “For… romantic advice.”

The door burst open as Rarity squealed with high-pitch delight. The unicorn grabbed her friend and yanked her inside, catching her in a massive bear hug and squeezed the life out of her. “It’s finally happening! You’re in love and you want me to plan the wedding!” She continued to spin and giggle, lost in her fantasy world. “I knew you and Soarin’ would tie the knot, but I never imagined it’d be so quickly!”

“I think you’re getting the wrong idea, Rare!” Applejack groaned, trying to wiggle out of Rarity’s grasp. “I ain’t getting married, I just want some advice on how to be… a little more feminine for Soarin’.”

“That’s even better!” the white mare screamed with joy. “Somepony pinch me, for I must be dreaming!”

“I’ll do more than that if you don’t let go of me…”

“Oh, terribly sorry, dear,” Rarity said, realizing that she had nearly broken her friend in two. “I think I just got a little excited.”

“You think?!” Applejack snapped as she was freed. “You know for a unicorn you’re surprisingly strong—oh come on, Rarity!” The farm mare rolled her eyes as she saw what Rarity was wearing. “I thought you said you were decent?”

“I am,” Rarity frowned, looking down herself. True she was just in her underwear and an open pink bathrobe but if it was just them girls then she didn’t see the issue. “I’m more covered than I would be in a bikini.”

“That’s not the—you know what? Forget it…” Applejack muttered. She didn’t have time for this. “Where’s Spike, anyways?”

“Oh, he’s resting upstairs,” Rarity giggled. “I think he might be a little sore from last night’s… umm, activities.”

“Save it, please…” the farm mare said. “I don’t need to hear about any of that, I just want to ask you for some advice about how to be a bit more… girly.” She turned a bit red on that last word.

“Applejack,” Rarity asked. “I know that I got caught up in the moment back there but you’re not… you’re not changing yourself for Soarin’, are you?”

The orange mare stared bluntly at her. “Rarity, do I really strike you as the type of mare who changes herself for a fella? We already learnt that lesson, remember?”

“I try to forget,” Rarity groaned. “So then what brought on this sudden desire to experiment with makeup and diamonds?”

“I…” Applejack bit her lip a little. “I really want to surprise him tonight. It’s our last night together and I want it to be really special. Give him a grand farewell, you know?”

“I see…” Rarity said. “Well… I think that’s wonderful. But let’s not go overboard now shall we? If we’re going to do this, we’re going to do this right. Now the first thing that we need to do is get you cleaned up, because no offense but you smell like a barn animal.”

“Excuse me?” Applejack asked, a little irritated.

“I said no offence.”

“That doesn’t mean you can just say whatever the hell you want and get away with it,” the farm mare grumbled. “But fine, I guess I did skip the shower this morning... what else?”

“Well, I’m going to have to make you a dress,” the white mare said. “Nothing too extravagant of course, we’re going to keep things simple but I really want to play up the country flair look. It’s so hard to find a good reason to do so and your little romantic conquest is just the excuse I’ve been waiting for!” The unicorn clapped her hands giddily. “Oh, I’m so excited! This is like a dream come true!”

“Yeah... a dream...” Applejack muttered. She was really starting to regret requesting the help of her fashionista friend. “Is that all? Please tell me that’s all.”

“Oh heavens darling...” Rarity grinned. “We haven’t even gotten started.”