A Weekend Farmhand for Applejack

This weekend had been a rollercoaster for Applejack. Within a short amount of time she had gone from spilling her secret love to her friends, to going on a spontaneous trip to Canterlot to bid on said secret love and winning him over, making him work on the farm, followed by them getting naked on the farm and finally consummating their love. So she just had to wonder how she ended up in her current position: Standing in the middle of Rarity’s studio while her eccentric friend giggled and poked the ends of needles into her side while making her a dress… Or at least she thought it was something like a dress. Somewhere along the way the fashionista had gotten random and sudden spouts of inspiration for her date night gown and each time Rarity had needed to start from scratch.

Of course, for Rarity, starting from scratch meant really starting from scratch, and whenever she had a newer and better idea, she ripped whatever she had tacked onto Applejack and started over. The farm mare, like most mares, wasn’t exactly thrilled with having her clothes torn off repeatedly and without warning, and wasn’t quite sure if Rarity was trying to help or just make her blush.

“No, this isn’t right either!” Rarity mumbled, as she slammed her head on the rising, her arm reaching up and grabbing the edge of the half-finished dress that the cowpony was wearing and gave it a good tug, whipping it off of Applejack and causing her to flinch again, her leg shooting up instinctively to cover her lower half.

“For crying out loud, Rarity!” Applejack frowned. “If you’re gonna keep restarting can you at least let me take off the damn dress?! I feel mighty violated with you keep ripping my clothes off…” She paused. “Never thought I’d say that to a mare.”

“I just keep getting better ideas, Applejack,” Rarity mumbled. “For a split second I can see the outline and stitching patterns of your dream dress in my mind but by the time I get my magic and fingers working then it fades away and then I make this abomination that I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy.”

The farm mare rolled her eyes, although she had asked for this. She should have known something like this was going to happen when she asked Rarity for help, but she didn’t have any other options of friends who knew fashion inside and out… well, maybe Fluttershy but she had already dug her own grave on this one and now she had to suck it up and let the dirt fall on her face.

“I recall y’all saying something about keeping it simple and so far…” She motioned her hand towards the large pile of scrapped clothing and fabrics. “We’ve tried on everything save the kitchen sink.”

“Yes!” The white mare screamed. “The sink! The most important appliance in bathroom and kitchen. It’ll really make you stand out and radiate your importance!” She cackled a little, getting up and heading towards the bathroom. “I’ll be right back! I just have to figure out how to use a wrench and take it off.”

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no!” Applejack hollered, running after her and grabbing her collar. “I have no idea how you’re going to turn a sink into a dress and to be frank I don’t want to know. So for the love of Celestia keep it simple! Like I don’t know…” She looked around the room and was overwhelmed by just how many different kinds of fabrics her friend had. Rolls of clothes in more colours than she would have imagined, with just as many patterns. It was giving her a headache so she just randomly grabbed the closest fabric roll she could reach. “… Like how about this? It’s yellow and polka-dotty. That’s cute… right?” She asked, she honestly had no idea if she was right. To her it was just yellow… with red dots on it.

“Applejack, darling…” Rarity sighed with pity. Sometimes she envied the simplicity of her friend, thinking that she could just grab any piece of linen and call it cute. “There’s an art and a process to picking out fabric for a dress and this, Applejack… this…” She laughed a little, looking at the sheet of polka-dot the farm mare had pulled. “This…” she gave it another look, really taking a moment to piece a design in her head. “This… is actually really cute.” Then… it came to her. “Idea~!” She chimed, grabbing the end of the roll and wrapping it around her like a holiday present. “Sometimes I think you secretly desire to be more like me!”

“Doubt it,” Applejack mumbled as she squirmed in her bindings. “And what the hell are you doing to me?”

“Why… creating darling!” the unicorn snickered, her eyes flashing sinisterly as she levitated two giant scissors and had them weave through the fabric surrounding Applejack. The orange mare winced as the scissors cut around her and she was afraid to work. She didn’t want to watch her skin be snipped off by her psychotic friend.

However when she opened her eyes she saw that she wasn’t cut into ribbons but rather draped in the yellow cloth and was being frequently sewn on by several needles operating by magic. Applejack was amazed to say the least. “Wow…”

“I know, I do good work don’t I, Applejack?” Rarity grinned as she finished the last couple of stitches of her dress. “And when properly motivated, I can make fabulousness out of thin air.” She snapped her fingers to prove a point. “And voila! It’s done. What do you think, darling?”

Rarity held up a mirror to show Applejack what she looked like now. The orange mare was surprised to see just how… wonderful she looked. She had to give the white mare credit, when it came to making the perfect dress, there was no pony who did it better. The dress was simple, nothing thrilling, nothing risqué, just a simple summer dress of yellow with red dots.

“You were right in the end, Applejack,” Rarity smiled. “Keep things simple, and you look absolutely beautiful.”

“I do… don’t I?” The farm mare said, blushing a bit as she gave a few turns of her dress. “Thanks a lot for this Rarity. You really came through for me.”

“Think nothing of it, dear,” the fashionista smiled, clapping her hands together. “Well, now that we got that out of the way, let’s deal with that crow’s nest you call hair.”

The orange mare slowly turned her head towards her friend, her gaze glared viciously at Rarity. “Y’all ain’t touching my hair, and I’m gonna forget you called it a crow’s nest.”

Rarity’s lips curled into her mouth in fear. “Well then… forget I said anything.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that,” Applejack sighed. “I just like my hair the way it is, and I have a lot of errands to run before tonight. So I’m going to bag this little get-up up and head to Sugar Cube Corner. I need to talk to Pinkie about a few things and I need to hurry up, who knows what kind of crap is happening right now without my supervision.”

*****

Back at Sweet Apple Acres, two ponies stood at the front door of the large farmhouse. Misty Sky and Cumulus had been ringing the doorbell for nearly twenty minutes and there was still no answer.

Misty Sky grumbled as her button pressing became nearly punching the wooden frame of the door. “Damn it all! Where the hell is everypony?!” The pegasus started to shake the doorknob rapidly as if to jiggle it open. “Stupid lock. Cumulus, break the door down.”

“What?! I’m not going to do that!”

“Then you are beyond useless,” she grumbled, slamming on the door one more time. “Where the hell are they?”

“Maybe they’re not home?” Cumulus suggested, cowering a little under the intimidating Wonderbolt. “We could maybe try back later tomorrow, you know… when you’re not under contract to do whatever I ask?”

“Yeah, yeah, this is more important,” the mare garbled, not really paying attention to what he was saying. “Just be glad that you were allowed to even come along.”

“Yeah… cause I really needed to get my money’s worth,” he muttered.

Misty Sky started to flap her wings and soar into the air. “Maybe they’re just not in the house, it is the middle of the day after all and they’re like… I don’t know ditch diggers or something.”

“Farmers.”

“Same thing,” the Wonderbolt said. “Wait… I think I see them now. Over here!” She took off with the stallion begrudgingly followed behind her.

The two pegasi soared overhead, overcasting the small group of ponies in the small clearing of the apple orchard. Upon closer examination they saw that it was an elderly green earth mare sitting on a lawn chair with a much younger girl next to her. Granny Smith and Apple Bloom were relaxing in the sun and enjoying the day while sipping their respective glasses of iced tea. They barely even noticed the two flying ponies land behind them.

“Huh… we got visitors, Granny,” Apple Bloom said, flicking her sunglasses a little to peer at the two pegasi. “Welcome to Sweet Apple Acres, y’all. We’ll be with you in just a moment.”

“Why? What are you doing?” Cumulus asked, scratching his head. “Cause it just seems like you’re staring at… oh.”

He and Misty both saw what the two earth mares were so absorbed in. For whatever reason, Soarin’ was in the midst of chopping down an old withering apple tree with an axe. He had worked up quite a sweat and was toweling himself off with his shirt, discarding it once it was soaked through and leaving him shirtless. The two mares let out a pleasant hum from this revelation, clanking their glasses together in celebration of the hunky stallion stripping.

“Oh wow…” Misty Sky trembled lustfully, slowly walking to the side of the lawn chair and taking a seat next to it, her eyes never breaking from the hard working stallion. “What a lovely view.”

“Best view in all of Ponyville!” Granny Smith chuckled. “Now what brings you two younglings to our orchard?”

“Hmm?” Misty hummed, not really paying attention anymore. “We’re just here for something or something… why are we here again?”

“To get Soarin’,” Cumulus deadpanned, noticing that there was no one actually listening to him anymore. They were all too enthralled with the Wonderbolt and his work. “But you don’t seem to really give a crap about that anymore.”

“We’ll get him…” Misty smiled. “I just want to… sit and wait for a bit. We’re in no rush after all.”

This piqued Apple Bloom’s interest. “Wait a second… y’all are here for Mr. Soarin’? I thought Applejack got him for the whole weekend?” Misty Sky didn’t even pay her a glance. “Hey, lady! I’m talking to you!”

Her voice rang a little loud, loud enough that Soarin’ could hear the disturbance in the back of his ear. Whatever those two were getting all riled up about, he doubted that it couldn’t be any better than chore detail. Chore detail that just so happened to line up perfectly with their break. He of course knew what the two little minxes were up to and there was little point in fighting it. He’d let the two soak up his eye candy as long as neither of them made any actual advances. At the moment, he turned his head around to see what had gotten them all chatty and what he saw made him drop his axe.

“Fuck…” he gulped, seeing Misty Sky waving at him cheerfully. “Just freaking wonderful.” He politely waved back. “Hey… what are you doing here?” He asked.

“We came to pick you up, sweetie!” Misty beamed, getting up from the ground. “I guess Spitfire didn’t get a hold of you but we’re all being called back a little early to practice for our next show. We need to head back to Cloudsdale ASAP!”

“An early practice?” Soarin’ wondered. “That doesn’t sound like Spitfire at all…”

“Well it sounded like her voice on the phone, so let’s get going, sweetheart,” the female Wonderbolt said.

“Now wait just a dang minute here!” Granny Smith growled, her shaky bones lifting herself up and to her walker as she stormed; to an extent, towards Misty Sky. “My granddaughter was promised a Wonderbolt for the whole weekend, and that means we ain’t giving him back until Monday morning, and maybe not even then!”

“What the hell do you mean by that?”

“Well, let’s just say my eldest granddaughter and the feather boy over there have become infatuated with one another.” She snickered a little to herself. “They’re as thick as thieves and just as sinful.”

“Say what now?” The female Wonderbolt gasped, taken back by this newfound discovery. She had feared that something like this would happen. Misty had waited too long to confront Soarin’ again and now… now she had to make things awkward and resort to drastic measures. She took a deep breath and let out a girlish and bubbly whine. She started to shed dramatic tears and shake her head. “Oh Soarin’, you beast! How could you do this to me? Me! The mare you proclaimed your love to!”

“WHAT?!” Soarin’ wheezed, nearly choking on his own breath. “What do you mean—“

“Don’t try and weasel yourself out of this, you lecherous tramp!” Misty fake cried. It was a shame that she would have to destroy Soarin’s reputation with this family, but it was this orange mare’s fault for falling in love with the stallion she already claimed. All was fair in love and war, and this was a war of love, so the Apples should count themselves lucky she was just using her innocent girl act and none of her military training. “I can’t believe that I gave my heart to such a fiend! I’m such an idiot!”

Apple Bloom and Granny Smith both looked to Soarin’, there gazes going from playful and flirtatious to disappointed and vengeful. They had fallen for Misty’s little act, and how could they not? Misty made a living making ponies think she was the bubbly, innocent new member of the Wonderbolts. Her crocodile tears had bite to it and her teeth were sunk in deep.

“I knew it!” Granny Smith roared, stomping towards the pegasus stallion. “I knew nothing good would come from a no-good, city-slicker, feather-boy like you! Never trust a creature who migrates, that’s what my granddaddy always said!” The elderly mare tried to strike Soarin’ with her walker but missed. “Hold still so I can tan your hide!”

“Look, you got it all wrong!” Soarin’ said, sidestepping her attacks. “Misty is lying, cause I’m just realizing just how psychotic she actually is.” He turned to her. “Seriously! What is it about me that brings the crazy out of every pony?”

“I can think of a few reasons…” Apple Bloom growled. “And to think you had me fooled that you cared about my sister.”

“I do care about your sister!” Soarin’ tried to explain. “I love her, Apple Bloom! She’s literally all I could think about for the last couple of years! Do you have any idea how much pie I ate? Do you know how high my blood sugar is thanks to eating all of said pies?”

“Lies, all lies!” Misty moaned, mentally laughing at the success of her little act. “He’s a monster and yet… I still love him!”

“Misty, if you think there’s even a slight chance that I’d think of ever being with you after this then you’re even more delusional than I gave you credit for,” Soarin’ groaned. “C’mon… you, other pegasus that’s been quiet this whole time! Back me up on this.”

“I’m…” Cumulus started to say. “I’m staying out of this.”

“Son of a bitch…” Soarin’ whispered to himself. This was bad… if Misty had her way, he’d be kicked off the farm and probably banned from ever coming back. If he didn’t get this under control... he may never get to see Applejack again. That thought alone was punishing enough. If only she was here, then maybe she could get a hold on the situation and talk some sense into her family.

*****

“Well that was total hell…” Applejack muttered to herself, her new dress tucked in a bag under her arm as she headed across town. She should have known that anything involving Rarity would take a fortnight to deal with and now she was late for the rest of her errands. She still had to swing by Sugar Cube Corner and talk to Rainbow about a favour she owed her.

Even now she could see the sun beginning to sink down past midday, and soon the afternoon would over. She had to get everything ready for tonight or else her big send-off would fail. Thankfully, the bakery wasn’t that far away from the boutique.

Applejack saw the gingerbread building in the close distance and picked up her pace a little. Strangely enough, there were some of her friends sitting outside on the front steps near the patio area and tables. Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie were seated there, each of them with a fat stack of sugary treats spread before them. The two seemed to be eagerly shoveling them down as fast as possible, chocolate and cream smearing on their already custard and jelly stained faces.

If it was just Pinkie Pie eating the desserts, Applejack would have understood that. Pinkie ate a LOT, her appetite rivaled her own, but seeing Fluttershy eating just as quickly had the farm mare worried. She slowly began her descent upon them and got a better look at her two friends, and was shocked to see that they were… crying? Why on earth were they crying? Between the bites of cakes and strudel the two mares were wiping away their tears and nearly choking on their cries. Applejack almost didn’t want to engage, but it pained her to see them in such a terrible state and she slowly walked up to them.

“Uh… howdy,” The orange mare said, forcing a smile and giving a little wave. “What has you two in a fit?”

Pinkie sniffed a little, looking at Applejack and rubbing her eyes with her icing soaked sleeve. She opened her mouth to say something, but instead broke down, slamming her head into her food with a squishy splash. The cowpony could still hear the muffled crying from within the pies and cakes, and two steady puddles of tears grew around the plate.

Fluttershy was hardly any better. Her yellow face was a Neapolitan mess of creams and fudge, hardly any colour other than dark brown or white was visible. The more she tried to clean her face off with her messy sleeves, the bigger the smudges got on her face. It was clear that something tragic had happened to both of them. The question now was what.

“Girls, c’mon, calm down,” Applejack asked, not quite sure what the best course of action would be. She was afraid to even touch them, in fear of losing a finger. “Take some deep breaths, guys. I can’t help y’all if you keep weeping like willow trees. Now what happened?”

“We’re such idiots!” Pinkie cried, lifting her head out from an apple pie.

“We were so stupid!” Fluttershy added, wrapping her face in her arms. “I can’t believe that we were so naïve and… and…” she couldn’t even finish talking, the words apparently too painful to speak.

Of course this didn’t help Applejack in the slightest.

“Ok. What in the hell happened?” The orange mare finally demanded.

“They were two-timed and lied to, that’s what happened,” somepony said from the doorway. Rainbow Dash was walking out from Sugar Cube Corner carrying more food, most likely for Pinkie and Fluttershy. “Turns out that Caramel has been sleeping around and Iron Will is still married. They just found out a few hours ago.”

“I-I-I f-f-found a l-l-locket in Cara-amel’s bed and thought it was for m-me,” Pinkie sniffed, her tears making her voice tremble something fierce. “S-so I wore i-i-i-it to work, and Flitter came in and said it was h-hers, and I-I checked t-the locket… and it was hers!” Her tears intensified. “It’s not her fault, Caramel told her I broke up with him and-and…” She couldn’t keep it together anymore. Her poor friend let it all out and started crying again.

“Oh hell…” Applejack gulped. It shamed her to be related to such scum, even if it was quite distant. “Rainbow, I’m assuming we’re going to have to break his skull now, right?”

Surprisingly, her friend shook her head. “No can do. I can’t be part of another assault and battery. The PCD aren’t going to look the other way again.”

“Huh?”

“But don’t worry, I got some guys on it right now,” Rainbow said wickedly, rubbing her hands evilly together. “Your cousin will be getting a lesson in respect really soon.”

“What do you mean by lesson?” Applejack had to ask. “I mean, he’s an asshole but you’re not going to kill him, are you?”

“Don’t worry about it, AJ,” Rainbow said. “And if you think that’s bad, wait until you hear what I have for our minotaur friend.”

“He said he left his wife for me…” Fluttershy moped. “I felt terrible when I first heard but I let myself feel happy when I was with him anyways. I thought I loved him and he loved me but… but…” she crammed more chocolate down her gullet. “I was just his mistress! I never would have stayed with him if I knew he was still a married steer! I swear! I’m not like that.”

“Oh honey, we know you’re not…” Applejack said, turning to Rainbow. “So what’s the plan for Iron Will?”

“Well I had to send the big guns to deal with him,” the cyan mare admitted. “A physically enhanced cocktail of muscle and loud noises I like to call Bulk Biceps.”

“Again, I’d like to remind you that neither of these guys deserve to die.”

“Yes they do…” Fluttershy of all ponies muttered, spitting out a bit of cake as she said so.

This scared Applejack a little. “OK… well, y’all have my support on this of course as long as Rainbow keeps the bloodshed to a minimum. I was originally here to ask you guys for a favour but clearly this ain’t the time or place to be doing such things.”

“Why, what do you need?” Rainbow asked. “Just because their love lives crapped out on them doesn’t mean ours didn’t.”

“Well, I wanted to talk to Pinkie about one of her… ‘Special’ orders of cupcakes but that seems to be out of the question now.”

“Oh… y-y-you mean a c-c-c-cumcake?” Pinkie wept. “Th-that’s so sw-sweet of you… were they for S-Soarin’?” the farm pony nodded and the pink pony wiped her face with her messy sleeve. “S-sure we can do that fo-for you. Just empty this cup of soda and masturbate into it.”

“Like I said, neither time nor place!” Applejack panicked, waving her hands no. “I can skip them for now!”

“Wait, you were actually going to order a cumcake?” Rainbow chuckled. “You’re so weird.”

“Oh, like y’all haven’t done it miss’s rubs her snatch on my produce!” The orange mare barked back. “Speaking of, I’m going to need your house for the night.”

“Say what now?” the pegasus wondered. “Why the hell would I give you my house?”

“Because there’s too many ponies in mine,” the cowpony grumbled, shuddering at that morning’s conversation. “And you still live alone, right?”

“Yeah, but that’s irrelevant since there’s no way you’re using my house to release what I can only imagine is a decade of sexual frustration all over my nice rugs and cloud floor.”

Applejack placed a hand on her friend’s shoulder. “Rainbow. You’ve been screwing in my barn for who knows how long. That’s my home so the way I see it, you owe me.”

“Well by that logic half of Ponyville owes you one, and I don’t see you bugging them.”

“That’s what—wait what the hell are you talking about?!” Applejack gasped, her eyes dilating as she looked around the streets. Tons of ponies… everywhere, some of which had made love in her barn… “How do you even…”

“Me and Caramel used to go there all the time!” Pinkie Pie sobbed.

“Iron Will and I used the milking machine to milk ourselves!” Fluttershy cried out.

The orange mare didn’t have anything to say to her friends… apparently her barn was the best place in the world to fuck. To think how she actually used to… touch things in there, and it was clear that she was going to have to burn the whole place to the ground to sterilize it. But that was a Monday chore.

“Just give me the damn key to your place and make sure I don’t fall through the floor, Rainbow.”

Her tomboyish friend sighed and rolled her eyes, but there was no point arguing with Applejack right now, she liked the current state of her bone structure. “I’ll fly by and drop it off after I get the floors tempered. I’m sure Soarin’ hunky pants can fly you up. But this makes us even.”

“Sugar cube, we ain’t even close to being even,” Applejack groaned. “But thanks.”

“Yeah, yeah… just try to clean up after yourself. At least me and Thunderlane gave you that courtesy,” Rainbow said.

“Yeah… courtesy…” Applejack growled quickly before turning sympathetically towards Pinkie and Fluttershy. “As for you two,, I do hope you get well soon. Come by anytime if y’all need a shoulder to cry on.”

The two looked up to her and smiled weakly. Deep down they were hurt, but they also knew that they would get better with time. It just really, really, sucked right now and the two mares needed a little pity to get over it. They waved goodbye to Applejack as she started heading off back to the farm. Not knowing the surprise that would be waiting there for her.

*****

Speaking of, back at Sweet Apple Acres, Soarin’ was up to his neck in pig manure. Almost quite literally as the surprisingly strong matriarch of the Apple clan was dragging the pegasus to the pig pen, her words being ‘If you’re going to be a piece of shit, you might as well be covered in it.’

“Don’t you think you can reconsider this?” Soarin’ asked hopefully, making no attempt to break free for the gentleman’s code prevented him from doing so. Still, he really didn’t feel like taking a bath in pig shit. “Even if I told you for the millionth time that I have never slept with Misty once in my life!”

“Hush it!” Granny Smith hissed, still not letting go of his wrist. “Damn pigeon pony playboys… breaking that poor girl’s heart. Well I ain’t letting that happen to my granddaughter! You’re going to eat pig dung then you’re getting kicked off my farm! And if I ever see you again I’ll ring your head full of lead!”

“Seriously please—wait, you mean eat like in throw me in, right?”

The elderly green mare leered at him, the kind of terrible and psychotic stare that spoke a single word very loudly.

“Oh shit…” He looked out into the distance, praying to see Applejack or some form of help to come and save him… any day now… please? He looked to the rest of his on looking audience. Apple Bloom, who was so mad that she could barely look at him in the eyes, that Cumulus guy who was beyond useless and whipped by Misty, and the evil bitch herself, who was still keeping up the broken-hearted teenage girl act, even though Soarin’ knew deep down she was nothing but a fiend.

Misty Sky sniffed a little, wiping a crocodile tear from her eye. “He deserves worse, Miss Smith, but I still have to take him away. If there’s any mercy that you can show him, please do so for this poor girl’s heart!” Last thing she wanted was to bang Soarin’ while he smelt like a hillbilly.

Granny Smith gnarled in frustration as she let go of Soarin’. “Fine! Just take him and make him leave my damn farm!”

“Of course, ma’am,” Misty said, fluttering up to Soarin’ and grabbing his arm. “Come along, sweetie. We have practice in an hour.”

“No we don’t!” Soarin’ said, refusing to open his wings even as Misty and Cumulus started to take off. Code be damned, he wasn’t going to lose Applejack, not after all he went through to find her. “And I’m not leaving!”

The female Wonderbolt was a little surprised by this. She knew that Soarin’s code of ethics to never oppose the fairer sex was something he prided himself on and never in a million years would she think he’d break that code and refuse to leave.

“Please Soarin’,” the mare moaned, shooting her biggest, saddest puppy dog eyes to the stallion. “If you come nicely, I’ll still love you.”

“Let me make something perfectly clear…” Soarin’ frowned, whisking his wrist free from Misty. “I do not love you! I’m in love with Applejack!”

That last sentence echoed throughout the orchard several time, the wind mimicking ‘I’m in love with Applejack’ over and over again. To be honest, Soarin’ thought it felt pretty good to get that out in the open. It was something he felt even before he knew Applejack was Applejack. This proud yet timid, strong and fragile, wonderful mare opened her heart to him, the wonderful mare from the Grand Galloping Gala.

“Y’all really mean that?”

Soarin’s heart skipped a beat upon hearing that sweet, southern drawl behind him. Applejack was staring at them, probably a tad confused as of what was going on. However, she didn’t care about that, all she could manage to think was that Soarin’ loved her. He loved her so much he had to scream it out to this random mare.

“What in the hay is going on here?” The orange mare asked, addressing the elephant in the room. “Who are these guys? And why does it look like they’re in the middle of abducting y’all?”

“Oh sis!” Apple Bloom cried, running to her big sister and hugging her. “It’s terrible. Turns out Soarin’ is nothing but a womanizing prick trying to make you his latest conquest.”

“Huh?” The cowpony muttered, confused as all hell. “Y’all need to explain yourselves cause I’m right confused.”

“He’s nothing but a liar and a cheat, AJ,” Granny Smith grumbled. “He’s been lying right to your face and softening you up with pretty words and such. The damn stallion’s been sleeping around on you.”

Applejack looked at the Wonderbolt with a strange look and then back at the rest of her family and the new guests. “Are y’all being serious?”

Misty Sky nodded her head, sniffling a little. “It’s true. Soarin’s has been my boyfriend for quite some time and then I find out that he’s seeing another mare behind my back! It has left me completely heartbroken! Not that I blame you of course, how could you have known?”

The farm mare gave Soarin’ a bit of a look before turning back to Misty. “Well… if that ain’t the biggest load of horse crap I’ve ever heard.”

“Of course it is—wait what?” Misty asked, her dramatic act coming to a screeching halt.

“I’m saying you’re lying,” Applejack said plainly.

“I-if only that were true!” The female Wonderbolt stuttered. “Poor thing, she’s in denial.”

“The only one in denial here is you, missy,” Applejack muttered, rolling her eyes. “I’ve seen this little shindig before. Hell I’m friends with a girl who does the same thing, but at least Rarity is somewhat convincing when she spools her little dramatic tales.” She looked to the rest of the family. “I can’t see how y’all fell for it either. Mighty shameful if you ask me.”

“I’m not lying!” Misty snapped, for a brief moment breaking her fragile victim charade. “He’s a scumbag and a liar and he’s coming back with me this instant!”

“If he’s a scumbag then why do y’all want him back so badly?” The cowpony asked. “You see the little holes in your story? So what’s this all really about?”

Misty was in a panic. She tried to speak up, retort something to the earth pony’s logic but she came up short. Anger was quickly festering up inside of her, this damn mare had been a problem since day one! And she wasn’t going to let some inbred farm hick keep her from getting what she wanted, and if she wouldn’t give him to her, Misty would just have to take him by force.

She looked to Soarin and gave the stallion an evil, diabolical smile. “Fine then… you want the truth? I want Soarin’. I want to screw the hottest Wonderbolt since Wind Rider until his thing falls off.” She took a step towards the mare. “Honest to Celestia you can have him back once I get my rocks off a couple of times, but if you don’t get out of my way this instant I’m going to shove that freckly little face of your back into the dirt where it belongs.”

Applejack scowled at her. “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that and let y’all think your next move very carefully.”

“Oh, like I’m afraid of some hillbilly dirt pony. Do you know who I even am? I’m Misty Sky of the Wonderbolts! Graduated top of my class in the academy with over four years of guard service. I could break your neck and you’d be too stupid to realize it. So why don’t you make this easier for both of us and stand aside while I take what’s mine.”

Soarin’ took a deep breath. He really did not like where this was going. Misty wasn’t spewing crap either, all that training was true, she’d never get to become a Wonderbolt without it, and the last thing he wanted to see was AJ hurt. But at the same time, he didn’t want to give Misty what she wanted. He had finally found happiness and he wasn’t going to lose it, even for a second. It was time now… time to break the gentleman’s code.

“You ain’t taking him nowhere,” Applejack growled, placing a hand in front of Soarin’ and stopping him. “I ain’t gonna let you pressure him into doing something stupid. But if you want to get physical than I can more than oblige.” The farm mare cracked her knuckles. “Missy, I’m going to break you in like a free ranging mustang.

Apple Bloom leaned into her grandmother. “That sounded a lot dirtier considering we’re all equines.”

Misty Sky spat onto the ground and took another step forward. Her eyes were locked on her opponent, and she was beginning to plan her assault pattern. She smiled a little, it had been so long since she had found herself in a combat scenario. Being a Wonderbolt really strayed away from all the war and violence, and she would unleash all that pent up violence on this stupid earth pony. “Fine, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” She said, raising her fists up. “And don’t blame me when they have to graft your skull back together.”