Rarity's Diary

My dearest diary;

Applejack was going on an excursion to Appleloosa, the location of her cousin, Braeburn. She went on this long train trip simply to deliver a tree, and because the task of getting a tree in and out of a train is so excruciating, the others and I joined Applejack on this private train to Appleloosa.

The train seemed to mess with some of our heads though. For instance, Applejack, a pony who I once thought had a functioning mind, was reading a bedtime story to the tree, commonly referred to as Bloomberg.

I remarked at how this just wouldn't do. I'd be cramped with Twilight, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Spike all in the one train carriage. How could I get proper beauty sleep? Applejack even sunk so low in sanity that she talked to the tree as if it was a baby. How could Applejack commit the crime of not treating me like a baby?! Unacceptable conditions.

I tried to get all the sleep I could for the evening. I knew the rambling of my friends would alert my attention, and I was right. All of my friends but Applejack and Spike were talking complete nonsense about things such as "Hey, Spike, be cool and get us some popcorn?" or "Oh man, we're going fast." Or worst of all, an unfunny joke said that we were too crowded that "three's a crowd." I can't even remember which of my friends said any of these things. Everything said was just so painfully unbearable.

But things only reached critical levels of pain when my friends finally figured out that they should "get some shut eye." But only a few seconds later, I could hear Rainbow asking Pinkie if she was asleep yet, followed by Rainbow asking if we'll have to carry that "heavy tree" off the train, to which Pinkie replied, "Who, Bloomberg?" To which Rainbow Dash answered, "No, Fluttershy." This lead to Pinkie not understanding Rainbow's sarcasm, putting her under the notion that Fluttershy was a tree, along with Twilight now thinking Rainbow Dash was serious. It was only going to get more hard to hear when Fluttershy mentioned how she wanted to be a tree.

I tried holding in my frustration, but the point is that I WAS RIGHT! Twilight put her head into a tree only a week ago for no explainable reason. The signs are pointing in the right direction. Now all Twilight will need is a battle-axe and a resurrection. But even ignoring that glorious fact, I had enough of my friend's bantering, and had to firmly request that I all be quiet. Being in love in all of my friends besides Pinkie is something that maybe I should regret if they're going to make noise like that. I'm having trouble being attracted to Pinkie because I can't have much meaningful conversation with her, and the same might turn out for the rest of my friends. I did have to yell at them unfabulously after all.

The next morning started out with buffalo running alongside our. I just loved their accessories though. They each had feather accessories to symbolise their flying bravery. But things only reached their downfall when the buffalo rammed brutally against our train, and at one point, one of the smaller buffalo jumped atop the train. Rainbow Dash confidently followed in pursuit of a young calf.

We lost sight of Rainbow Dash, and to add to that, the buffalo took hostage of the Celestia spawn tree and Spike.

All of us panicked as we reached our destination. We were so focusing on screaming in terror, that we barely noticed Pinkie leave the train and abandon us. We hastily hurried out, and were met with open hooves by Applejack's cousin, Braeburn. He happily shown us around his quiet little mountain town. We even came face-to-face with a saltoholic.

Braeburn also shown us the "most wonderful sight in Aaaaapleloosa!" Their apple trees. We had to interrupt Braeburn on his jolly old speeches by bringing up the buffalo issue, and most importantly of all, Spike's dragonnapping, which I so kindly took the honour of pointing out.

But what was most important to Braeburn though was when I brought up the buffalo's conflict with Appleloosa. Apparently, the buffalo need the apple trees, and are trying to take them all.

In preparation for our adventure in saving our friends and the tree, we got our bags ready. I suggested that everypony grab an axe, and everypony laughed, as if they weren't even taking me seriously. What do I look like? Some over-dramatic pony who worries too much?

The preparations were getting us all stressed. Even Applejack became so rough that she helped me with by bags in a brutish manner. That's not the Applejack I truly know and love.

As we set off into wild territory, we were abruptly greeted by Spike, Rainbow, and Pinkie. We ran up to greet them. I wanted to nuzzle my head against Spike, or Rainbow Dash, but that bag tightening tired me out so much that I didn't even get a chance to greet them. It was still a welcome pleasure though.

We finally met the calf, and found out that her name was Little Strongheart. It turns out that the buffalo need the Appleloosan's land to stampede on. Rainbow Dash was siding with the buffalo, but Applejack sided with the Appleloosans. Rainbow Dash wanted the trees to be planted someplace else, but Applejack argued that there's no proper land.

Twilight was inconclusive, not knowing how to fix this problem. Luckily, Pinkie had a solution. Knowing the knowledge Pinkie had about parasprites and how to exhile them from a whole town, I had a feeling she would have the perfect solution. But to my shock, Pinkie instead performed a song on a stage with Spike playing the piano, and her dress-up was very, let's say, skimpy. In fact, when I peered over to see the horrified reactions of my friends, Rainbow Dash's wings were bulging in a strange way.

The performance was abysmal. I didn't want to hurt Pinkie's feelings, but the performance was so unforgiveable that the buffalo and Appleloosan's were still feuding with one another.

So a battle had begun. One of which I never expected to arise from this sort of situation. It was to begin at noon, and we thought that we just had to stop it. We attempted this, but to no avail. At noon, we witnessed a stand-off, but just after the time struck, Chief Thunderhooves, the leader of the buffalo, was stopped by Little Strongheart, and the battle was cancelled, until Pinkie did her odd dance, and the brutal fight occured from sheer anger.

In the midst of all the brutality, Chief Thunderhooves attempted to charge towards the sheriff of Appleloosa. But out of ~~ammo~~ pies, the Sheriff had to accept his faith... until a pie smacked Chief Thunderhooves straight in the face.

The war was won for ponykind, as Chief Thunderhooves' group not only lost, but came to an understanding after eating a small drop of apple pie. The buffalo would allow the apple orchard to stay in its place in exchange for its delicious apples. And we all learned compromise.

This was certainly an exciting experience for my friends and I. My savior, Twilight was born, I witnessed a war, and that odd saltoholic offered me a glass of salt. It tasted pudent, but it was still a great gesture. What won't be exciting is the upcoming visit from Princess Celestia. What should I wear? What should I eat? How should I address her? I miss salt...

~Rarity