My dearest diary;

Green hair! That's all that lady Rarity needs to note. But for the sake of communication, allow me to explain. A very irritating showmare wheeled her cart into our town of Ponyville. What started as a calm day soon transformed into a day of sorrow, and annoyance, but mostly annoyance.

This showmare called herself "The Great and Powerful Trixie". Not only was she bringing shame to our unicorn legion, but she was also acting as a boaster. And, worst of all, she turned my mane green! What a gross colour for hair! It may be good on something fierce/cute like a dragon, but it's not good for hair. An earth pony felt insulted because she had green hair. I could care less. It's an earth pony. They have their diabolical ways and the like.

When I came home to Sweetie Belle, she couldn't help but giggle at my hair. I told her not to laugh, to which she responded by telling me that she'll die her hair green also. I stopped her before she had the chance, but then she started weeping. She should be more like me: whine without tears.

This Trixie was also hurting my friends. She hurt my valuable warrior, Rainbow Dash, and my private adversary, Applejack. This might have left me having a mixed opinion on this mare for the wonderful things she did to Applejack, but Lady Rarity's biggest gripe is that she betrayed the trust of Unicorn and Pegasi. Forever.

Spike, as kind as he is, kept on rambling on and on about Twilight, though when he said it near me, he ran off looking for a mustache. I see the interest in growth, but he doesn't have anything to help him with this. Unless Twilight can perform a mustache spell. If she can, then I am dissapointed. That would be both unfunny, and useless in a fight. Mustaches? Please! The bushiness gets everywhere.

In the end, those rapscallions, Snips and Snails, brought an Ursa into town, because Trixie said that she vanquished an Ursa Major. Due to her showing how useless she would be in the war, Twilight ended up getting rid of the Ursa, who turned out to not be an Ursa Major, but an Ursa Minor.

Spike came to me later, showing off his mustache. He called it great and powerful, leaving me no choice but to kick him out of my store. The words "great and powerful" have been mentally inputted into my brain, and left a scar on my cleverness and wit.

So, to wrap things up, the Ursa Minor destroyed Trixie's home, amde her homeless, and now, I beleive she wanders around aimlessly looking for food. I wanted to go look for her, as I was worried, but sometimes, you must let members go. Lose some more of the heavier and useless things.

Speaking of heavy and useless, Snips and Snails will not help the colt and filly sections of the war once it occurs. I hope some sort of adventure comes up soon. I am positively dying from all of this war stress.
~Private Rarity

Author's Note

I would've done more on the episode, but considering how much I despise the episode, I said, "Screw it", and then just made the chapter mostly around Rarity and war. Besides, if I had went more into the episode, I could've made best pony seem even more out of character than before.