The Condemned

Welcome back, I assume you missed me, if you didn't that is quite alright, I didn't miss you either, I’m just obligated to show hospitality towards the viewers… it is in my contract. If that doesn't sit right with you then talk that up with my supervisor but until you can cross dimensions into my world you are just going to have to deal with it. Anyway… I have just been given the files on the contestants and might I say they are quite… well don’t take my word for it, why don’t you see for yourselves.

• Name: Twilight Sparkle. Charged with attempted overthrow of political figures and world domination. Suspected to be clinically insane

• Name: Pinkamena Diane Pie. Charged with mutilating her victims and baking them into confections. Suspected to be clinically insane

• Name: Rainbow Dash. Charged with abduction of young foals and grinding them into rainbows. Suspected to be clinically insane

• Name: Rarity. Charged with multiple counts of political assassination.

• Name: Fluttershy. Charged with multiple counts of torture and butchery. Reported to also feed the remains of her victims to her animals.

• Name: Applejack. Charged with multiple reported robberies which have resulted in the murder of several ponies.

• Name: Spike. Charged with organizing a multi-million bit drug cartel and several cases of rape in which the victims are then immediately killed.

• Names: Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo. Charged with genocide of over 50 teenage ponies during school hours at Ponyville high school. All three have pleaded insanity but charges have not been dropped.

• Name: Shining Armor. Charged with attempted overthrow of military operations and the murder of two fellow commanding officers.

• Name: Trixie Lulamoon. Charged with the murder of several assistants during a performance. Has pleaded insanity but charges have not been dropped.

• Name: Big Macintosh. Charged with several counts of kidnapping and murder of young foals.

• Name: Babs Seed. Charged with poisoning of produce which have resulted in the deaths of over 100 ponies.

• Name: Gilda the Griffon. Charged with slaying political figures in Cloudsdale.

• Name: Lightning Dust. Charged with bombing at the Wonderbolts academy resulting in the death of 2 faculty members and several trainees in an act of retaliation.

• Names: Vinyl Scratch and Octavia Philharmonica. Charged with a robbery and murdering spree while on their honeymoon.

• Names: Soarin and Spitfire. Charged with murdering the entirety of lightning Dust’s family in an act of retaliation.

There you have it folks, all twenty competitors and their less than acceptable decision making. What do you think of this more than interesting bunch? I don’t know why I’m asking you because I really could care less, but my management has told me that you can help these lovely ponies and their lovable personalities by requesting supplies and rations for each contestant so feel free to leave your recommendations in the comments. Now then, we have introduced our competitors and it is almost time to release these savages into the wild. Until then, this is GK signing off.