A Pony in Takistan

Four players stood in a rough circle, along with one Unicorn. They had all dropped their weapons on the ground, the little weapons and pouches of ammo spreading out in small circles on the ground. There was a small silence in the group, before Matthew spoke up.

“So.” Matthew said, echoing their thoughts. “What now?”

“I have no idea.” Mer admitted. “The best thing to do would be to talk to the Unicorn thing. Everyone, be sure to set your VON to constantly be on, and on Direct. Hey, Unicorn, can you hear me?” He asked, turning his character slightly towards the purple pony.

“Of course I can.” She replied. “You’re asking one another what you’re going to do, which I assume has to do with me.”

“Yes it does, Twilight Sparkle.” Joe said.

The unicorn visibly stiffened.

“How did you know my name!” She asked.

“How did you know her name?” Matthew asked. Apparently, he wasn’t the only person who had heard of the show here.

“I’m a Brony, Matthew.” He replied. “As for you, we know your name because you’re in a TV show. Before you ask what that is, it’s sort of like a viewable book.  We, or at least me, know pretty much all about the Elements of Harmony, your adventures, ect.”

Leon spoke up next. “Will someone please explain to me what the hell is going on!”

“Leon,” Matthew said, “Remember how earlier I was talking about a TV show called ‘My Little Pony’?”

“Yea.”

“This is Twilight Sparkle, one of the main characters from the show.”

“Ok…”

“And, somehow, this is real. No flawed game code, no new update trolling us. Real.”

Silence reigned over the small group. Finally, Matthew spoke up.

“Everyone, we need to get out of here.” He said. “Our best shot is in the air, so that’s where we’ll go. Mer, can you spawn me an A-10?”

“That I can.” He replied. Ten seconds later, a A-10 Warthog was on the field, facing the opposite direction that the rest of the planes were.

Matthew nodded in real life. “Good. Joe, can you mount up on your Su-25 and help escort the C-130?”

“Yep!” Joe replied. “I always wanted to do something like this…”

“Like what?” Mer inquired.

Joe smiled at his screen. “Oh, something impossible, like fending off an F-35 in a Su-25.”

Matthew ignored him. “Everyone mount up! Leon, you and Mer are gonna be inside the C-130. Twilight, I need you to just get in back and hold on. I‘ll be inside the A-10.”

Everyone quickly got to their aircraft. Mer and Joe turned the C-130 and the Su-25 around, and quickly lined up in a small row.

“Ok everyone.” Matthew said. “Throttle up and get in the air, match speeds at 250 knots.”

At that, all three pressed their throttles forward with Q. Matthew saw the A-10 quickly accelerate past 150 knots. Holding the Alt key, he looked behind him to see the other two accelerating, with the Su-25 finally lifting off into the air, followed moments later by the C-130.

The C-130 pulled into the lead, with Mer piloting it, Joe and Matthew close behind in their jets. They quickly reached a large height above the ground, circling around.

“Now what?” Joe asked.

Matthew sighed. “We’re a group of three aircraft traveling high up, two BLUFOR and one OPFOR in close formation. People are gonna investigate.”

There was a brief pause before Mer spoke up. “The purple unicorn here, whatever her name was, just asked what we were doing.”

“Becoming the perfect bait.” Leon interjected. “If we keep flying like this, we’ll attract attention faster than a naked girl in the middle of a street.”

“It’s all we can do, Leon.” Matthew said. “On the ground, we’d be more vulnerable than we are now. Plus the fact that, on the ground, we’re stationary unless we get vehicles. Which would mean either going back to our bases, or stealing some from an unclaimed town. Or from a retarded player. Either way, we’re fucked.”

Leon groaned. “How did I get myself dragged into this? Flying escort for a purple unicorn…”

“Nobody made you come.” Joe said.

“Leon, you’re free to parachute out right now if you don’t want to do this.” Mer offered.

Leon quickly freelooked outside of the aircraft, turning the camera straight down… To see large mountains.

“No thanks.” He mumbled out.

They flew along for a couple more minutes before Matthew spotted something.

“Hey guys!” He said. “One Su-34, on our six, closing fast, I’d say at 400 knots.”

Mer quickly double-tapped ALT, turning freelook on, and turned the camera to look behind him. A Su-34 piloted by a player named ‘[THJ] Jarmin’ was quickly closing on them. Suddenly, text popped up in global.

‘>[THJ] Jarmin: wtf r u doin, silent? lets shoot down those planes.’

‘>SilentJoe6: Unless you want to die, move away now. We will not hesitate to shoot you down.’

‘‘>[THJ] Jarmin: fine, i’ll kill them myself.’

Joe did not hesitate. “Mer, bank hard and flares! Matthew, help me shoot down this fucker.”

The Su-34 shot a massive Ch-29 missile at the C-130. Mer quickly turned and pulled up, the deadly missile missing by about twenty feet.

Matthew quickly turned the A-10 on the side and pulled up, causing the plane to quickly turn to the left. He turned in a wide circle, the Su-34 shooting past him. He quickly rolled the A-10 into another tight turn, coming behind the Su-34. To his right, he notice Joe lining up behind him and to his left, also gunning for the fast jet.

Thankfully, the player in the massive fighter-bomber had to slow down to engage the C-130. He was at about 220 knots, just above stall speed. Matthew shot an AIM-9L Sidewinder as soon as he got a lock-on tone. The missile flew and hit the OPFOR jet dead-center, damaging it. The player in the jet move the throttles forward and rolled to the right, turning to evade the angry A-10.

Matthew quickly switched to the GAU-8 and fires, the stream of rounds hitting the Su-34 dead-on. It exploded, a trail of fire and smoke marking it as the dead jet spiraled down.

“Clear!” Matthew said after a moment. “The Su-34 is down. The only problem is that he’ll be back, along with more.”

“Uh, Matthew.” Mer said. “I don’t think they need to be back.”

Matthew quickly noticed a few green and red dots on the edge of his vision, the dots morphing into squares on his radar.

“Shit!” Matthew shouted, just as a line of bullets flew by him. “We’re over the OPFOR camp, for Christ’s sake. Get us out of here!”

He and the others quickly formed up and shot to 260 knots, exiting the area. They knew it would be a matter of time before more OPFOR or BLUFOR planes arrived. Matthew could guess what was going on in the TeamSpeak chat by what he saw in global. Most players were questioning why two BLUFOR and an OPFOR jet were all flying together, and several players had already vowed to find out.

In Matthew’s view, two green dots appeared at the edge of the radar screen, slowly approaching.

“Hey guys,” He said. “We have two BLUFOR jets approaching, probably F-35s or AV-8s. Get ready to evade. Remember, protect the C-130.”

The two jets closed the distance gradually, with the planes eventually coming into view. Two BLUFOR AV-8s appeared on his screen, closing. Chat began to appear in global.

‘>Hilden67: Guys, what the hell are you doing. Why are you flying with an OPFOR jet?’

‘>SilentJoe6: Just stay away, and we won’t shoot you down.’

‘>JudgmentSupreme2: We won’t hesitate to do so.’

‘>Hilden67: But why?’

‘>JudgmentSupreme2: Stay away or we will open fire.’

‘>Hilden67: Can’t you tell me why?’

‘>JudgmentSupreme2: No, just go away. Yet again, we won’t hesitate to shoot you down.’

Matthew noticed that the planes were closing, fast. Apparently, Hilden67 didn’t care.

‘>JudgmentSupreme2: Last chance, Hilden, or you and your friend die.’

‘>Hilden67: Try me.’

Mer spoke up. “Matthew, Joe, break off and show our guest we are serious.”

A AIM-9L suddenly shot off of one of the AV-8s, headed towards Joe. He quickly turned and fired off flares, the missile missing.

“Just shoot them down, guys.” Matthew said, quickly turning his aircraft. He fired off a brief burst from the GAU-8, missing one of the planes before they both shot past. He went into another turn, quickly doing a 180 degree turnaround. He spotted one of the AV-8s going into a wide turn and selected his remaining AIM-9L. He fired it off, the missile missing as the enemy player shot off flared. Matthew quickly rolled his A-10 the other way and prepared his GAU-8.

Joe went into a wide turn, quickly rolling over and turning the other way, trying to shake Hilden67. The determined BLUFOR player stuck with him, quickly shooting off his two AIM-9L sidewinders, not even bothering with a lock. Joe easily evaded them with another turn, the unguided missile shooting past him.

He quickly slowed down to 180 knots, the enemy plane shooting past him, unable to go that slow without stalling. Joe sped up, coming in behind the enemy player. He switched to his unguided S-8 missiles and started firing, holding down the trigger as the small missiles flew out, two dozen of them reaching for the AV-8. The doomed pilot rolled over to evade before eight of the tiny missiles struck in quick succession, the enemy jet turning into a fireball, hurtling towards the ground.

“Hilden’s down!” Joe yelled into his mike.

Meanwhile, Matthew quickly rolled out of the way as several Hydra missiles zoomed past him. The remaining AV-8 was on him, and he couldn’t shake the determined player. He tried for one gamble, quickly slowing down his craft and moving up. Surprisingly, the BLUFOR jet shot by him. He turned the nose down and matched speeds, arming his GAU-8. The enemy jet rolled to the right, attempting to evade, but Matthew turned his A-10 to match, the reticule hovering ahead of the AV-8s flight path. He pressed his mouse button, sending a stream of bullets, into the AV-8, turning it into a fireball within seconds.

“The other one is toast.” Matthew quickly said.

“Good!” Mer said. “Now get back here, I’m flying northbound over Sakhe right now. I have a plan.”

Matthew quickly pulled up his map. He exited out of it and corrected his course, boosting his speed up to 280 knots. He quickly reached a spot north of the town and saw the C-130 just ahead. He slowed down, matching its speed at 250 knots. Off to his left, Joe formed up with the rest of the group.

“Ok everyone, listen up.” Mer said. “The game ends in a half-hour. We don’t know what will happen then, but let’s assume that the unicorn disappears when that happens. If that’s the case, we just need to survive for thirty more minutes. We won’t do that flying around, not anymore, so I suggest we go off the edge of the map and into the generated terrain in a northern direction. We can simply keep a low profile if we are out there. Any questions?”

Joe quickly spoke up. “Yeah, what will we do to keep every BLUFOR or OPFOR person from finding us?”

“Simple.” Mer replied. “I spawn us a couple Humvees, we driver around, end of story.”

“Sounds good.” Matthew said.

The group continued north, passing over the northern airfield two minutes later. A few bullets reached up to meet them, but the combatants on the ground were more focused on blasting one another.

Thirty seconds later, the flight crossed the edge of the map and into the generated terrain.

“Ok everyone.” Mer said. “Begin your decent, and stay as a group.”

The three aircraft began to lower in altitude, quickly lowering their speed to 150 knots and settling down on the mostly flat terrain. Matthew shut the engine off with the scroll menu and waited for the aircraft to come to a halt. When it did, he climbed out, running towards the small gathering. The rest of the group had gotten out of their respective planes and stood in a rough group, waiting up for him.

He gave a small glance at the purple unicorn in front of him before turning his attention to Mer.

“Ok,” Matthew said. “You can spawn the vehicles now.”

Firs tone Humvee with an M2, and then another spawned, right next to one another. Mer also spawned a motorcycle for Joe, as OPFOR couldn’t enter the same vehicle as BLUFOR. Matthew and Leon mounted up on one of them, with Mer and Twilight Sparkle on another, and Joe on the bike. They quickly set off, putting some distance between them and their landing zone.

“Twenty-six minutes left.” Mer said.

Suddenly, a Mi-24 appeared in the distance.

“Oh, fuck me.” Matthew said. Apparently, some players on the server were still searching for them.

‘>[THJ] Jarmin: ur going down, bitch.’

‘>SilentJoe6: No you.’

Leon on the turret quickly rotated the gun to face the incoming Mi-24. He fired the M2 machine gun, scoring hits along the front of the heavily armored helicopter. A stream of bullets began to fire out of the gunship, flying past the Humvee and scoring a few glancing hits. Leon kept firing, aiming for the cockpit canopy. A Falanga 3M11 missile soared past the Humvee, impacting the ground in front of them.

Suddenly, the M-24 spun, the back rotor gone, it impacted the ground in a fireball, the blackened wreck sliding to a halt as the group continued on.

“What the hell just happened!” Leon said.

“I used a hack called HitBackRotor on it.” Mer explained. “No time to talk, just keep moving. We have twenty-four minutes left.”

Matthew suddenly chimed in. “Takistani UAZ, AGS-30 on the back, behind us and slowly closing!”

Leon turned the gun around once more, firing a few shots before the gun started to reloaded.

“Damn it, reloading.” Leon said.

Grenades began to impact around them as Leon once more pressed on the trigger. Suddenly, a grenade hit Joe’s motorcycle, instantly killing him.

“Fuck!” They heard Joe say through Skype.

“What’s happening out there?” Matthew heard the unicorn say.

“A fucking war to protect you while they try to kill us! At least this is just a fucking game…” Mer said.

“Not to me!” He heard the unicorn reply.

Meanwhile, Leon had finally killed the gunner of the UAZ. The driver was still closing. He quickly used the scroll menu to switch to the gunner’s seat and started firing grenades again. Leon started firing again, round after round hitting the UAZ, causing it to finally explode. The Humvee was damaged, though, and the ‘Hull’ icon was orange.

“It’s fucking dead, but we’re damaged.” Matthew said.

“Twenty minutes left!” Mer said.

Matthew grimaced. “Fuck it, we won’t make it like this. Mer, we need to get across the map, and quickly.”

“I can teleport us.” Mer said.

“Why the hell didn’t you do that before!” Leon shouted.

“Because too many bad things can happen if we’re moving when I teleport each of us, one by one. For example, we could drive off a fucking cliff or fly into a goddamn mountain.” Mer replied.

“Just do it!” Matthew said, slowing down to a stop.

He was suddenly in a south portion of Takistan. Moments later, Mer’s Humvee appeared beside them. Matthew opened the map and noted that they were in that open field again, where they had met Joe.

“How long until they find us?” Leon said.

“They won’t.” Mer replied. “They’re searching to the north, and after I bombed out the entire southern portion of the map, nobody really comes down here.”

A full minute passed in silence before the unicorn spoke up.

“I appreciate what you’ve done, but why?” She said.

“Because.” Mer said. “We didn’t need a reason, we just wanted to do it. It’s something to work for. You’re not a part of the game at all, a complete unknown. That means something that’s far beyond my understanding, especially after looking through the game’s running scripts. In other words, we all decided, ‘What the hell? Let’s fucking do this.’”

“Actually,” Leon said. “I just followed Matthew.”

“Stalker.” Matthew teased.

“I’m not into you like that.” Leon replied.

Matthew smiled. “Really? I thought that you were into guys.”

“If by that you mean your mother, then yeah.”

Mer grinned. “Oh shut up, both of you.”

Moments later, chat started appearing in global again.

‘>Server Admin (Remote): Guys, we’re restarting the server a bit early because of the hacker, and the blue-on-blue stuff going on. What the hell is up, anyway?’

‘>Hilden67: Some assholes are flying around, three BLUFOR, one OPFOR, and something else.’

‘>[THJ] Jarmin: something else? wut you mean.’

‘>Hilden67: I suspect hackers or something. For a second, the playerdot for one of the guys inside the C-130 had a purple dot, or some shit like that. Also, those three that are flying around? Killing everyone that gets near.’

‘>[THJ] Jarmin: i tried to kill them twice, but they killed me both times.’

‘>Server Admin (Remote): This concerns me, how?’

‘>SilentJoe6: Just ignore them and restart it already.’

“What?” Joe said over Skype. “Did you think I was gone?”

“Sort of.” Matthew replied.

He turned to the purple unicorn. “The server is restarting now, and you should be gone when it does. I think, at least.”

“Well…” She said. “Today has been… Interesting.”

“Talk about it.” Mer muttered.

‘>Server Admin (Remote): Server restart in ten seconds.’

“Goodbye.” Mer said.

“See ya.” Leon casually remarked.

Matthew was last. “Yet again, goodbye.”

The screen went dark.

[End of Round]