Depression…

It’s not something I have experienced much of in my life. On the whole, I like to think life has been pretty good to me. Nothing has ever really torn me apart… well besides Alice, but I knew I could move past that if given enough time. My friends would help me forget about her, but now I have no friends.

Friendless…

If there’s one thing I truly fear in life, it’s the fear of having to deal with everything alone. With others beside me I can find meaning. I can find strength. I can forget my own problems and focus on theirs. On my own… I feel useless. I don’t have anyone to save. No one to help. I’m left alone with only my thoughts to keep me company.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt such a cold feeling…

*Beep*

I turn to the side to watch the green line of the heart monitor bounce to the rhythm of my pulse. For a split second I imagine the zigzag pattern flattening out and the accenting beeps becoming one long drone. A singular note of death…

Like a deathnote… wait, no…no it’s nothing like that, I think. My eyes turn back to the dark ceiling. Shadows now make up the entirety of the hospital ward. The only light sources come from the door leading out into the hallway and the bright moon shining through the window. I can hear soft snores in between the intervals of the beeping. Occasionally, a nurse on night duty will pass by the door and I’ll count the hoofsteps as they fade out of the range of my hearing only to be replaced by the never-ending beeping. It’s fucking maddening.

Yawing, I stretch my arms toward the ceiling only to quickly pull them back as a spike of pain shoots through them. I’m tired, but my mind won’t let me sleep. My eyes are going to bleed soon. Still the monitor doggedly continues to beep like a clock ticking away the seconds of my life.

Why are you thinking about dying anyway? You don’t want to die. Not here, not now. You just narrowly cheated death the other day. You should be grateful. You should be celebrating! Why aren’t you happy? my brain asks.

“Nyahh… donafsha…leevawitgillldaah….

I hear the sleeping pony in the bed next to me mumble something unintelligible. It was almost like a whimper.

I should be happy. I saved her. I’m still alive. I should be on cloud nine…. And I was until... well, until shit got real!

My memories of earlier today swim to the forefront of my thoughts. The blank ceiling above me acts as a makeshift cinema screen. The movie begins…

After finishing my BLT-scratch the B-sandwich, Rainbow Dash and I started to chat. Actually, it was more of an interrogation. She asked me about how I got to Equestria and why I was here and if there were anymore hew-mans like myself. I answered as much as I could.

“Yes, there are indeed more humans,” I had confirmed. “But as to how or why I’m here in Equestria… well, I haven’t the slightest idea. I just woke up alone in a field, and then went hiking in this real creepy forest until a zebra named Zecora found me.”

“Wait! You met Zecora?!” asked the Pegasus, nearly flipping her sandwich tray over.

“Yeah,” I answered. “You know her? She was really nice and stuff. “

The blue pony nodded.

“She took me back to her hut…”

Well, really I guess she dragged me.

“…and she served me tea out of this giant cauldron thing and then, to top it off, she explained how this is a world of equines, princesses, and all this other crazy stuff,” I continued, gesturing wildly through my rant until my arms felt sore.

“And you just believed everything she told you? Just like that?” questioned Rainbow with a look of incredulity.

“Well, I had no choice, right?” I tried to explain. “I mean, yeah, it was totally unbelievable and everything, but I had some proof right in front of me. A talking zebra! Can’t get much more evidence of craziness than that, can you?”

“I guess not… but I don’t think I’d be able to just ‘go with the flow’ like that if I woke up in an entirely different world!”

“Yeah, it was all a bit confusing and head-shattering, but, like I said, what choice did I have?” I laughed. Looking down at my bandaged leg, my laughter subsided. “I suppose I’ve always been somebody who’s acted first and asked questions later. I don’t really like to just lay around moping and feel sorry for myself. I’d much rather move past it all… live in the moment, y’know?”

“Yeah… that makes sense,” agreed the Pegasus with a warm smile. “Living in the moment is kinda my thing, too.”

I returned the grin and we both sat in silence just enjoying moment. Her eyes really are beautiful. She started sneaking glances at my leg and back to her lame wing as her smile faded. She looked far better with a happy face so I decided to mess with her a little.

“So, you gonna give a kiss, too?” I started. Rainbow’s eyes widened. “Y’know for saving you and stuff…”

“Wha-What are you talking about?!”

Her cyan cheeks experience a red shift.

“Well, your yellow friend back then gave me a fairly warm welcome, I’d say. Where’s your gratitude?” I demanded, trying to stifle my giggles.

“I-I…” stuttered the flustered Pegasus.
Finally, I could no longer hold back my laughter.

“Ha! Oh my god! Y-your face is priceless!” I managed to taunt through my laughing fit. Rainbow’s expression turned from embarrassed to ‘I’m going to kill you’ in less than a second.

“Y-you… total… JERK!” she shouted, giving me a harsh glare.

“Relax, I was just joshing ya,” I said while wiping tears from my eyes.

“Joshing me?” she wondered. Her glare was replaced with a confused look.

“Yeah, y’know like messing with… razzin’… teasing?”

“Oh…” she blinked, understanding my slang. “WAIT! Not ‘oh’! You totally just played me!”

“You bet I did!” I confirmed with a snicker.

“You do I realize I can still use my legs? Do you want a hoof to the face?”

“Sure, bring it on anytime, Skittles.”

“Wha…?”

I started laughing again at her half angry- half confused face.

“What?! What did you just call me?!”

I didn’t answer, but kept chuckling louder. This went on for a few minutes with her shouting threats then becoming lost as my retorts went right over her head. Finally, she gave in and just went along with it. We both cackled madly in our beds until a nurse poked her head in and reminded us that hospitals are supposed to be quiet environments.

“Sorry ‘bout that,” I apologized as the nurse pony left rolling her eyes. Rainbow was still giggling under her breath when another pony appeared at the door. The Pegasus’s laughter ceased as soon as she saw who it was.

“We see that you two are getting along quite well,” observed the lavender Alicorn at the threshold of the ward.

“Uh… yeah, er… I mean yes, Princess,” I answered awkwardly.

“Yeah, we were…” added Rainbow whose disposition seemed to have darkened at the Princess’s arrival.

The Alicorn, however either didn’t notice or just ignored the Pegasus as she strode gracefully over to my bedside. Her purple gaze seemed to pierce my very soul…

Okay, that’s a little over-dramatic, but she does have quite a stare.

“Now, dear Anthony, will thou be willing to answer my questions?” asked the Princess.

“Sure… I mean, yes Princess,” I stumbled out.

The Alicorn Princess showed a smile and began her questioning. She asked me where I was from and I told her my planet was called Earth. The Princess said she’d never heard of it. She then asked me how I came to be in Equestria. I answered much as I had when Rainbow Dash had asked; “I don’t know.” She seemed to ponder it for a few seconds, but then continued on by asking how I’d gotten to Ponyville. I regaled her with my tale of waking up in the Everfree forest and meeting Zecora.

“Thou have met the zebra, Zecora?”

“Yes,” I answered. “She told me many things about Equestria and even led me out of the woods. When we got to the edge of the forest, she told me that I would find Ponyville a little further on. She said that the Princess… that you would help me, but I managed to have a run in with that Manticore before I could get my bearings. Now I’m here,” I finished.

“It is most unfortunate that thou had to undergo such a horrific ordeal as soon as thou arrived,” she said; a sympathetic look on her regal face. “But, Zecora told thou to seek our counsel?” I nod. “We would love nothing more than to help thou…”

“But?” I pressed feeling something was off.

“Well, because we have no idea how thou came to Equestria, it would be most difficult to send thou back home; especially since we have never heard of the planet Earth. It may even be impossible…”

…………….

…..

Her words hit me like a freight train.

“Impossible…”

The Princess gave a sorrowful look and nodded.

Wait! So I’m trapped here?! This was cool for a dream or whatever this is, but now this pony’s telling me that I’m stuck? No! No Nonono… what about mom, dad, my brother, Josh, Robert, Rivers… I’m seriously never gonna see them again!? I’m here in some crazy fucking fantasy world of ponies and I’m never gonna leave?! What am I gonna do? Where am I gonna stay? I have no friends here… just ponies… They seem nice enough, but they’re essentially aliens. No, I’m the alien! I’m all alone...

While my mind was racing at light-speed Rainbow Dash spoke up.

“No way!” she shouted at the Princess. “Can’t you do something? Anything? Have you become completely useless since you became royalty or something!?”

“I…” hesitated the Alicorn. She was at a loss. I was too…

The movie reel stutters and comes to a halt. Darkness invades my vision once more. I hear the beeping of the heart monitor. The clops of hoofsteps outside in the hallway. The snoring Pegasus across the room.

What am I doing? This is no time to turn into a pussy!

I bring my hands to my face and give each cheek a firm slap.

The Princess said she’d discuss it with the other princesses. Rainbow said she’d help you out. It’ll work out… It will work out. Stop worrying. You’re still breathing, right? You’re still alive! No friends, no family, but you’re still alive. You can get pass this. You have to… you have nothing else… you…

Rainbow Dash lets out a particularly loud snore that interrupts my internal pep talk. I look over at her silhouetted body rising and falling in time with her snores.

No family…

I watch how the moon light dances off her prism mane.

No friends…

I hear her mumble something through her dreams.

“Anthony…”

But maybe…

She continues mumbling. Now she turns so I can see her face lit by the moon.

“…don’t…”

Maybe…

Her hoof reaches out.

“… worry…”

Maybe…

Author's Note

I'm not entirely happy with this chapter, but I needed to write something to get back into the groove of it. Hopefully, you can bear with me. Thanks for reading!