Yoglabs: Dimensional Portal

Simon and Apple Bloom walked through the streets of Ponyville, headed for Sugar Cube Corner. Apple Bloom knew the silly human and the, ummm, "Eccentric" pony would get along perfect. Simon was also looking forward to meeting her; she was his only hope for getting Jaffa cakes in this world. He was beginning to think of Apple Bloom as a nice little friend. She was helpful, and she didn't question his extensive knowledge of a world she believed didn't exist. And Apple Bloom like Simon, too. She thought he was funny, and a good friend.

They approached Sugar Cube Corner, and Apple Bloom motioned Simon inside, saying, "I think it's best I stay out here. You'll like Pinkie."

Without question, only with excitement, Simon entered the candy house. He was surprised to see nobody there.

But then...

...There was an explosion of confetti as the pink mare jumped up from behind the counter. She leaped off the display case, and ran right into Simon. She sat there, her head and neck vibrating from the impact, when Simon said, "uhhh, Hello?"

Pinkie jumped up cheering, "Hello! I'm Pinkie Pie!"

"I'm Simon!"

"Nice to meet'ya Simon!"

"You, too, Pinkie."

"So, what brings you to Sugar Cube Corner?" Pinkie didn't seem too concerned at all that Simon was a human, she treated him like any other customer.

"I want a Jaffa Cake!"

"What flavor?"

"Jaffa Flavor!"

"What's Jaffa Flavor?!"

"Delicious!"

"Well, I got LOTS of delicious things! and LOTS of delicious cakes! There's chocolate cake, vanilla cake, orange cake, pineapple cake, red velvet cake, blue cake, strawberry cake, raspberry cake, blueberry cake, oh BLUEBERRIES! Do you like Blueberries?"

Simon could tell he and Pinkie were going to be friends.

********

"Hey Sjin," Sips called from across the hall of Sipsco, "Did you get that new toaster to put over the Microphone?"

"I ordered one," replied Sjin from his office, "from Simon and Lewis, but they never got back to me on it."

"You know what I think, Sjin?"

"What do you think, Sips?"

"I think it's time for a road trip."

Sips and Sjin departed from Sipsco headquarters, and eventually found themselves at the gates of YogLabs.

"Hello?" Sjin called in as they entered the lobby, "Anyone here?"

"Oh, hello!" came the voice of an Indian man. He stepped from the shadows, and was dressed in a bloody apron and doctor's mask, "I am Doctor Sriviramen. I am the head 'doctor' and 'engineer' here at YogLabs. You must be Sjin."

"I am indeed, mister Sriviramen."

"Follow me, sir."

"Now wait a minute Silver Ramen," Sips interrupted, "We came here for a Toaster, so by god we're gonna get a Toaster."

"Okay, sir, right this way," Sriviramen replied. He walked down the hall, with Sjin and sips in tow. He stopped at a gate stained with blood and with a sign reading:

Dr. Sriviramen's

Torture Chamber

Office

"Hey, what's that sign say?" Sips asked.

Doctor Sriviramen said, "Nothing."

"No, I think it says, 'Office', not 'Toaster Warehouse'. We came here for a Toaster, not a business deal from some Indian man."

"Sips, I think you're overreacting." Sjin whispered to his counterpart.

"Sjin, can you believe this guy? God."

Sriviramen interrupted, "You'll get your damn toaster once we're done here, now come inside my tort- err, I mean, Office."

Sips was not responding, "Listen, here, guy. We just walked across blistering deserts and freezing tundra to get here, and all I want is a mother-freaking toaster. So either you give us a goddamn toaster, or you'll see none of us, mister Slitheramen."

Sriviramen was furious, "Now, YOU listen you Canadian bastard! Toasters are a rare commodity here in YogLabs, and I really don't have time to cater to every whim and wish of every two men who come waltzing in! So you may take your goddamn business elsewhere, Mister Piss."

"It's SIPS, and you think you're the only one with problems? I run a multi-million-ish dollar dirt company, and I take no shit from nobody. You wanna get at me, you're gonna have a hell of a time doing it. Now, mister Silver-face, or whatever the hell your name is, get me a goddamn toaster before I rip your balls off of you."

Sriviramen had had enough, "If you insist, mister sips, ill go get your toaster."

"Finally. You see, sjin, that's how you do business. None of your pussy crap.

"I don't think that was really smart, Sips." Sjin warned.

Sriviramen went around the corner, hid out of sight, and pulled the pin on a concussive grenade. He then threw it down the hall at the two businessmen.

"Sjin, forget it. We have a toaster now, and- UHFFF!!" Sips grunted as the grenade went off, sending them both to the floor, unconscious.

Sriviramen thought to himself, Well, these two can't be brainwashed, they're too stubborn. I know exactly where to put them.

The doctor picked up the bodies, took them to the huge iron door, opened it, and threw them into the interdimensional portal.

********

"Now, I don't believe this for a second," Simon said as he and Pinkie were exchanging stories over a few cupcakes, as the first prototype Jaffa Cake ever constructed in Equestria was cooking, "You found a magical pond that cloned you, and the only way to find the real Pinkie was to... what was it again?"

"Watch paint dry!" Pinkie enthusiastically responded, "And the real Pinkie was the one who valued her friendships enough to sit through something so mind-wrenchingly boring in order to stay with them."

They both laughed, and Simon said, "You must be a dedicated friend."

"Oh, the MOST dedicated friend EVER!" said (I say said, really shouted) Pinkie. However, before she could explain, they both heard a boom in the distant skies.

Simon dashed to the window, and told Pinkie, "A huge ball of fire is hurtling down towards Ponyville!"

Pinkie prepared, "I KNEW this day would come! EVERYPONY! Get your water! Get your food! Get in the basement! It's those darn Poniets again! With their shooting missile and what not! Simon! Get in-"

Pinkie's psychotic rant was cut off by the projectile crashing through the roof. Simon recognized the white suit, with it's blue square on the back. "Sips!" he shouted.