Broken

It was a normal day for me, consisting of laying around doing nothing. I had a job, but it was my day off, so I got the chance to simply lay down all day and browse the internet.

Speaking of which, I was currently checking my E-Mails. There was the usual amount of spam and trash, speckled with one or two important things. Halfway through the list I noticed one from an address titled Cha0sFr33@noname.org. I was slightly confused as to the title, which real ‘READ INSIDE’. Wondering what it was, I opened it.

The text consisted of one line that said, ‘Do you want to enter Equestria? Y/N’. Something most people don’t know about me is that I am definitely a Brony, but I’m not to the point where I will believe shit like that. Thinking it a joke, I pressed the ‘Reply’ button and typed ‘Yes’. I clicked send, slightly amused at the whole thing.

I got up off of my chair and started towards the kitchen. The windows outside showed a normal, sunny day with a view of a forest and mounta-… Wait. There isn’t a fucking forest outside of my house, or fucking mountains. I live on the outskirts of New York City, for Christ’s sake.

I ran back to my computer, the power somehow still on. I quickly went back to my E-Mails, only to see one message, yet again from Cha0sFr33.

‘I hope you enjoy the view.’ It read.

“What the fuck!” I screamed out to nobody in particular.

After ten minutes of me alternately crying my face out and screaming at the ceiling, I had finally formed a concrete plan. Because apparently something of chaos – I assumed Discord, because that made the most sense – brought me here for no reason, deciding to fuck with my life, I decided that I shouldn’t really take the world seriously. Everything that I had possible imagined as a brony awaited me. No, I’m not talking about romance or becoming a hero. I’m taking about doing whatever the hell I want to. And right now, I wasn’t very picky.

Since I had decided that this world was there for me to mess around with, I had to decide what I wanted to do. Any actual fighting was out of the question: I wouldn’t have much fun doing that. After a lot of self-debate (which was sort of creepy, to be honest) I settled on the idea of literally fucking with the ponies: After all, a chance like this never comes. To anybody. Ever.

I was no rapist, but this was the chance of a lifetime. Literally. I would just have to be careful. I couldn’t afford for my house to be found. Somehow, my house was still receiving water and electricity, by what means, I do not know.

I decided to see if I could alter things in my favor a bit. Going back over to my computer, I opened up my E-Mail (the only part of my internet still working) and pressed the reply button on the only one visible.

I typed out a quick message that read, ‘Any chance of altering things to make my house a bit more hidden than in the middle of a field?’

The reply came moments later. ‘What fun would you getting caught be? Fine, it’s been moved. To a MUCH more hidden area.’

At that time, I had noticed the light all but disappear from the windows. I flipped some of the lights in my house on and looked out the window. Ten feet away, a solid rock wall stood. To confirm where I was, I dug around my house for my flashlight. Upon finding it, I switched it on and opened my front door. A quick look confirmed my guesses: I was inside of a cave. Moving the light around, I noticed it was dimly lit from the light of my house.

There was one exit to the chamber, which I decided to follow after a moment of hesitation. A hundred feet further, after a few twists that rendered the light from my house completely gone, I emerged from a tiny entrance into bright sunlight. Looking behind me, I noticed that the cave entrance was hidden by some rocks and bushes, and should never be found. In front of me, beyond half a mile of forest (I was on a very slight hill, still in the forest) stood a town. Ponyville would be my best guess, judging by the distant sight of Canterlot on a mountain about twenty miles way.

I turned around and mentally looked for the cave entrance again. Finding where it was hidden, I once again went in, and two minutes later I finally entered my house. Everything was still working fine, including the electricity, so I assumed it was magic that brought me here. The bottom of the chamber that held my small house was almost perfectly flat, with the house actually set into the floor a bit. I have no idea why or how he did it, but it appears Discord is still at his antics, even if he’s frozen in a stone statue.

I quickly got out a pen and paper and started writing down my plan.

Actually, I had no plan, which just left me saying ‘fuck it’. I’d go with what I saw, not according to a plan which could be figured out. Really, though, I doubt there was anything subtle about a tall figure going around raping ponies. I’d have to be careful. My house wouldn’t be found, at least, so I always had a safe base of operations. Speaking of which, I went to check on my basement. Like all good houses, I had a concrete basement with several rooms to store food and stuff in. They were mostly empty, so I figured I could put items I find in them. Enclosed here is a rough map of my house:

I quickly turned the piece of paper I had been writing on into a paper airplane and threw it. It almost immediately hit a wall and fell immediately to the ground. I grinned. This was going to get interesting.