Escape From Planet Muffins

Talk about big responsibility. I have to keep an entire planet safe from a supernova. Everypony believes I can do it except me. Even if I could do it, I wouldn't know where to start. What about Dinky and the Doctor? How will I explain to them why I was missing for thirteen years? I was thinking about pros and cons on this. Pro: It rains muffins. Con: my wing is injured. Pro: everypony looks like me. Therefore everypony is sexy and if I hang out with them, I'll get even more sexy. Con: Remember when I couldn't move? It turns out I did break my ankle and I got to the castle by walking on three legs. Pro: Everypony respects me. Something that no pony back home never did. Con: no friends or family. Pro: I can become immortal. Con: I don't control Exploding stars. Pro: um.. Con: If I don't find a way out of here I'll die. Pro; No comment. Con: This list got really long and I bored you to death and got sent to jail. Pro: Prison food has more nutrition then an average school meal. Con: Jail isn't fun. Pro: jail is fun. Con: I got very off topic.

"Here ya go," said colt me, handing real me a broom.

"What do I do with this?" I asked.

"You pick up the muffins with it. Somehow we are able to live off them here. You have to clean them up so we can have some food to eat." I grabbed the broom and stated cleaning up the mess. It muffined hard today. We could of had a flash muffin. It took two hours to clean up. It was fun though.

"So, what's your name?" I asked colt me.

"You can call me Doctor," said Me Doctor. He couldn't be my doctor. Real Doctor was an earth pony. He did look like him if you take away the me part. What if he was my doctor? But Me Celestia said the war won't happen for a long time where I come from. Then again, he could of used his time machine. That still doesn't explain the wings.

"Have I met you before?" I asked him.

"Nope, Only met you today." Good. He isn't my doctor. We had lots of fun. We played around, we looked at the clouds, he was even nice enough to bring me a cloud because of my injured wing. After that we went to the park. We stayed there for a half hour. Like I did at Twilight's. I wonder how she's doing when she discovers I'm gone. Later, Me Doctor got hungry and took me to a cool restaurant. Muffins are a good substitute for... well, everything. I had a muffin salad for an appetizer. Then I ate a Friday muffin fish fry eve.(It's Thursday).

"I hope you're not full because I got you a present," He said

"What is it?" I asked eagerly. he handed me a box.

"It's a magic muffin. They're really rare. I found it while we were cleaning up. It heals any injury and cures any sickness." I ate it. Suddenly My wing and ankle felt better. All the pain went away. Physically and mentally.

"Thank you," I said. After that we said goodbye. I took the long way home. I liked the view of the place at night. Especially the castle. I still couldn't believe I'm staying there. I'll be adding that to the pros list. And my bedroom? And my bedroom was beautiful. My new room alone is probably more expensive then my entire house. Soon I closed my eyes and went to sleep.

I woke up this morning rushing to my wardrobe. I quickly opened it without a single hesitation. I drew out my saddle bag and opened the top. Glancing to see that everything is in place, I put it on and flew off to downtown. I usually never got this exited about shopping but I was curious to see what they sold. I especially wanted to see what clothes they had since the Grand Galloping Gala was tonight. They had it here too. I found a dress shop next to a toy store. The clothes here are better than the clothes back home.

"Are you looking for a dress?" asked the cashier.

"Yes, could you help me decide which one I should wear?" I replied, still looking around the store.

"Why certainly," he said grabbing one off the shelf. "Try this one on for size. It's our most fancy dress in stock." He handed me the dress and I took it to the dressing room to try it on.

Who knew that paper bags looked so good?

I took it off and made my way to the check out desk. I should of watch where I was going. I bumped into a unicorn me by accident.

"Oops, sorry I didn't see you there. Are you okay?" She got up in an instant and replies back.

"How dare you bump into me like that and not even say something else than sorry! That was the worst apologize I ever receive! Don't you know who I am?" Her response startled me.

"Um, no. I have no idea who you are." That's the truth. She didn't look like any pony I knew from Equestria.

"Oh, you must be Derpy. I'll make this simple. You and I both know that you can't do anything to save this planet. And everypony else thinks you can actually pull this off.You're not even a unicorn! What a shame it would be if somepony would to find out the phony you really are." Her eyes locked on me for two seconds only to be interrupted by her left eye slowly wandering off until it met my dress. "Better think twice about buying that dress. It's worth 95 bits."

"95 BITS!!!" I exclaimed. What kind of dress would cost 95 bits.

"Yeah I know. It's very cheap. Is that the last one in stock? She asked. Cheap? She thinks 95 bits is cheap?? What line of work is she in!?

"Sorry I grabbed the last one. I'm planning to wear it for the Grand Galloping Gala tonight." I don't care if it's 95 bits or not, I'm still buying it.

"Well that's too bad. You better find another dress because I want it!" She pushed me to the ground and snatched up my dress.

"HEY!!" I shouted, but shouting was only a sound. I bought a different, but less expensive dress for 25 bits. It was a bubble dress. Equipped with a crystal bubble headband, necklace, and shoes. It wasn't as good as the first one but it will do. Fast forward a bit to the Grand Galloping Gala. The words of Me Unicorn still buzzed in my head. She's right, I can't do this. There has to be a better way. I bumped into somepony again.

"Oh, hey Derpy." It was Me Doctor. "I like your dress."

"Doctor, I want to go home. Do you know a way back?" A moment of silence. And then... Another moment of silence. For once both eyes were focused on me. Finally, one last moment of silence.

"Ditzy," he said. "I don't know where you came from or how you got here, but ever since we found out about the soon to be disaster, We stopped at nothing to find a way out." Lots more moments of silence. "We never found one."