The Minority Pony

Rainbow Dash is in my bar, staring at me expectantly.

"Are you gonna sing, or what?" she says. I do not want to disappoint her, so I swallow my fear, pick up the microphone, and commence the song.

"Rainbow Dash, not to be trite, but I must say I love you. Your mane is beautiful and bright, and so your eyes are too. But it goes far beyond looks, or simple pickup lines from books. But I must hear your voice, so I give you here a choice. Rainbow Dash, will you go out with me? You're awesome and you're cool, and I hope that you'll agree, and you'll date me, my invitee. Rainbow Dash, you're really hot, and I am sorry that I'm not, and I never use contractions so you know that I mean this a lot. You know, to me, you mean so much, even though they call you butch, but nopony will be derogatory to you as long as you're with me, so Rainbow Dash, without a doubt, I really am asking you out, are you free in maybe six days? Dash, come on, what do you say?"

"Uh, I guess, okay," she says, and the bar breaks out into spontaneous applause. I feel a smile as wide as a... something whatever... creep across my face or some crap such as that. The main point is that I am indeed very badass. I am AWESOME. I go to bed even though it is early. Time flies as you sleep, and I want it to go as fast as possible.