Jeff

The Heatathon

A collaborative effort by:

Irongalley.

Angry Spez Brony

Xx_-Sycro-_xX

Day One Equestria....

Nonono, that is too far back...maybe we should tell you what we did before I tell you me and my friends tale.

Ah yes, how this all began. How my two friends and me joined the most ridiculous and  funny sport we ever known. What was the name of the sport again...heat something...Ah I remember now, it was....THE HEATATHONG! Ah yes the Heatathong...why the hell did we join that? I mean at first they said want to get an easy ten thousand bits. We agreed like greedy dumbasses, not even thinking about the consequences. I blame Ed...the crazy crab lord. Even San thinks that it’s crazy, he even said and I quote “Like they said in the song, ‘The Drug In Me Is You’, i’ve lost my fucking mind!” Its too late now though...damn it...but let’s start on the train ride towards Manehattan, shall we?

Manehattan: Three Days Before the Heatathong

The train ride to Manehattan was...odd. A majority of the ponies in the train were stallions. But, thankfully we didn’t get stuck in a car full of stallions. Nope, we got lucky on our cart. My two human friends and our six pony friends. San was just lying on a bottom bunk bed, listening to Falling In Reverse and Black Veil Brides on his Iphone. Ed, well, he...he and Red Emerald were arguing over which was a better water animal. I did not care for it because his favorite was a crab, and no matter what you said about them, he wouldn’t listen to you.

Now on to our friends from Ponyville. Cloudchaser and Rainbow Dash were completely smashed. They had a drinking contest and neither of them was willing to back down. Lyra and Bon Bon were chatting amongst themselves about music. Flitter was just sitting next to me watching as her sister and Rainbow Dash walked around, sounding as if they forgot how to talk.

“Bhey San!” Rainbow had fallen face first next to his bed and he tried to ignore her, but if he couldn’t ignore her when she was sober how could he when she was drunk? “...heby...whatz...my amiceclh romance?”

She was referring to his My Chemical Romance shirt that he had gotten transported here with. Rainbow would always try to make things personal with people that were around her, but she never could with San. I guess it’s just his unique personality, and when I say unique I mean emo, that keeps him from caring about anything she says. Although, that ends with her constantly trying to annoy him and failing every time. He’s pretty quiet and it’s always tranquil around him.

Ed on the other hand...lets just say that he’s a handful to deal with. Not only will he argue with you about the stupidest things, but he’ll also interrupt everyone in the middle of a sen-

“Hey Jeff, what’s up!?”...See what I mean?

“Nothing much, just watching these two goofballs. Why do you ask?” Shit did I ask him a question? Incoming random crab thing...

“ Well me and Red Emerald here were arguing about which is a best water animal. She said shark and I said crab.”

“Gee, we didn’t notice.” Thank you sarcasm. I ignored him again and kept on looking at San, Rainbow Dash, and the most beautiful mare that I ever laid eyes on...Cloudchaser. What? Don’t judge. It took me awhile to fully understand why I like her. Well the first time we met, was at the Evergreen. Me and my friends were desperately in need of help.

We were lost, scared, and hungry. It got to the point where we started to hallucinate. San never did seem like he was going insane, but then again he never really changed his expression. Ed...he got a rock and named it Shelldon The Crab. It was creepy, he would feed it smashed rocks and chewed dirt. We tried calling people but we never got any reception. Me on the other hand, I was freaking out. One time I started to yell we’re going to die, until Ed slapped me with his rock. Telling me that Shelldon and him were going to save everyone. At that point San gave up, but out of pure luck, someone or somepony found us and helped us get out of there.

She took us  to a small town called Ponyville, and helped us get a house there. At first all of the townspeople were terrified at the sight of us...well I guess that it’s understandable since we were bipedal hairless apes that were at least twice the height of a pony, walking through their town. If she hadn’t convinced them that we were harmless then there would have been a chance of us getting locked up and experimented on.

Damn it, Twilight..and Fluttershy...they wouldn’t leave us alone. Twilight wanted to experiment on us...on all of us and Fluttershy...bless her heart...she wanted to take care of us. It was pretty easy to reject Twilight, but Fluttershy was a completely different story. She would constantly ask us what we were doing to the point where it got annoying. One time she asked Ed if he was fine, through a window...the bathroom window.

After a few months of trying to fit in, I started to talk with Cloudchaser. At first I was very grateful when she saved us...but after awhile, I started to feel something different. At first I thought it was crab eggs in my pants, because Ed started a FUCKING BULLSHIT RELIGION! He would bring home random crabs that he found and he would build them homes in our house...there goes three thousand bits worth of clay. Although, it did give me an excuse to hang out with Cloudchaser more often. She was funny and sweet, but she is a lot like Rainbow Dash. They both wanted to join the Wonderbolts and they just wouldn’t shut. The. Hell. Up. I feel sorry for San though, he would normally be asleep all day with his black hair hanging over his entire face, but now he would be getting harassed by Rainbow day in and day out.

Cloudchaser...just saying her name makes me have butterflies in my stomach. But the problem is...it’s hard for me to confess my love to her. Like back on Earth, I do that to every girl I like. I was so close on Hearts and Hooves day, but I puddinged out. But this time...this time I’ll do it before she leaves to go to the Wonderbolt Academy. I just hope she feels the same way towards me.

“Rhey jelff and uh flatiter.” Cloudchaser wobbly walked towards us with a little chunk of what I believed to be vomit on her chin. Why did I not seemed disgusted by that? Probably because I’m just looking at her eyes. I could look at them all day...well not all day, but you get the point.

“Watcha starizn kat Jeff?” Cloudchaser smiled at me. My only response was a blush and I looked away from her. She chuckled a bit and said something I couldn’t quite hear, due to the fact that there was an an argument going on, some friends are talking amongst themselves, and laughter. She continued her drunken walk towards me and Flitter, until she tripped and fell in between my leg’s. At this point I was totally speechless, then again she was drunk. I pushed all of my dirty thoughts out of my head and helped Cloudchaser up.

“Thanks dude,” she said. I helped her up and placed her on her bed. Flitter, her sister, couldn’t stop laughing, which made me blush. Then Lyra and Bon Bon started to laugh at me and Cloudchaser. Some friends they are, using my love for Cloudchaser against me.

“I...um...goodnight Cloudchaser.” I could barely say that on the count of the embarrassment right now.

“awwwww, he told his marefriend goodnight.” Lrya cooed to Bon Bon.

“Shut up...we’re not even dating!” I rejected her statement. But they all continued to laugh at me...even the argument that Ed and Red Emerald were having had stopped. I looked down at the floor in defeat and blushing no less. I began to go to my bed until Cloudchaser stopped me.

“Goodnight, Jeffy.” and then she kissed me on the cheek. I froze in place and put my hand on top of where she kissed. Then again she was hammered, maybe it was just the alcohol affecting her.

I heard a wave of ‘awwwwww’ and when I turned around, I found that everyone was staring at me, all except for...San? Was he even been paying attention to what was going on!? I walked to my bed not even looking at anyone...but here comes Ed.

“Hey Jeff so the reason why you are holding your cheek is because a cute crab pinched your face, right?” Did he just...he did, didn’t he?

“Damn it Ed, just go to sleep.”