The Heatathon

The Heatathon

A collaborative effort by:

Irongalley.

Angry Spez Brony

Xx_-Sycro-_xX

If Ed hadn’t woken me up at six in the morning, I probably wouldn’t have needed Rainbow Dash to punch me in the chest to get me up. Even though she was a petite mare she was pretty strong.

“Come on! It’s time to get up!” she kept striking my chest even though she could clearly see that I was awake.

I had to grab her hoof out of the air before I was able to sit up and look at her, all the sleep having been knocked out of me. “Do that again, and you’re going to need a cast around your fetlock. Got it?”

She gave a slightly terrified nod and pulled her hoof out of my grip. “Whatever, I just came to tell you that it’s time for breakfast,” she headed to the door but stopped at the doorway, “and try not to scare everypony.”

I looked over at her and saw that she had a smug grin,”...I’m pretty sure that you should be worrying about someone else, miss ‘I’m too drunk to even remember my own name’.”

Her smug grin had turned into a scowl and her eye’s showed a hint of irritation. “Just get up you freak.”

I grabbed an air horn that I had stolen from Jeff’s luggage bag and pointed it at the door before pressing down on the button. And just as I expected I hear Rainbow Dash scream as the sound of the air horn intensified her hangover. “I gotta admit you did a good job of hiding her hangover!”

She poked her head through the door while rubbing it with a hoof and looked over to me. “I hate you.”

“The feeling’s mutual.”

She left the room and I just fell back on my bed. “How did I get sucked into this?” I remembered when I use to just sleep all day and not be disturbed by anyone or anything. It was all I could really do since there was no way to get home and since I really don’t like being around other peo- err...ponies.

I sat up in bed and looked at the clock that was hanging on the wall, “Eight thirty, huh?” I threw the covers off and I stood off of the bed. I checked my pockets, and found my phone and ear buds. I looked through the songs that I had until I finally settled on one, putting only one earbud in.

I grabbed my shirt from a corner of the room that I had thrown it into the night before. As soon as I picked it up my nose got hit with a stench that was worse than the inside of a Walrus’s mouth...don’t ask how I know that. I held my shirt out in front of me and a vomit stain covering most of the letters on it.

“Rainbow Dash.”

I grabbed my long sleeve shirt that I had worn the night before and slipped it on before walking out of the room. When I got to the breakfast car, I was surprised when the only people being there were Jeff, Ed, Cloudchaser, and Flitter.

“Have any of you seen Rainbow Dash?” They all turned their attention to me before gagging and covering their noses.

“Oh man, what is that!?”

I held up my shirt and Cloudchaser pointed behind me towards the car that held our bedrooms.

“Hmm, I thought San shit his pants?” Jeff started to laugh at his own comment and soon everyone else joined him.

“Does he really think that annoys me?” I never really got offended by...anything really, if anything I was better at getting under people’s skin than Rainbow Dash.

I just rolled my eye’s and went to the car that had our rooms. I looked around and found everyones...well Ed’s and Jeff’s clothes scattered around the car.

“They’re even more messy than me.” I looked at each bunk seeing if I could find the little rainbow devil.

“What’re you doing!?”

I turned around and found Rainbow poking her head from one of the bunks and she was blushing. “What? I was trying to fi-” My words were cut of when a strange odor hit my nose. It was...familiar. I remember my dog making this sent when...oh God, no.

“Uhh...Rainbow a-are you in h-h-hea-”

“NO!” She hopped down and appeared angry, “I w-was just...um...” she muttered the last part under her breathe.

“You were what?”

“...I was...”

“What?”

“...I was play...”

“What?” I leaned in closer and cupped my ear

“I was playing with myself, okay!” I slightly flinched at her outburst and because it felt like my ear was bleeding. I was about to apologize for walking in on her...session before I noticed something.

“Um...Rainbow Dash...why do you have both of my wrist bands?” She had my three row studded wristband around the center of her left leg and my black and red checkered wristband around her right hoof.

Her blush intensified and she started stuttering, “Oh I-I w-was just uh...s-seeing how a-awesome they would look on m-me.”

I raised an eyebrow and I was starting to feel weird and that’s saying something. “Okay...can I have them back?”

“Oh, um sure.” She hastily took both of them off and gave them both to me with her wing, which was weird since she would rarely use her wing’s for anything beside flying.

I put on my studded wristband and I was about to put on my checkered one before I felt a dampness on one side. “Oh God...you’ve got to be kidding me.” Instead of putting it on I just put it in my pocket.

“So, what’d you want?” I returned my attention to Rainbow Dash who was looking down at the ground.

“Umm...oh yeah...did you vomit on my shirt?” I held up my shirt and showed her the mark.

“Oh...um...maybe.” She gave a sheepish smile.

“Why were you in my room?” This question made her expression turn to one of nervousness.

“Um...I uh...I was still drunk...and I uh...I must’ve stumbled into your room...hehe.” She was rubbing the back of her head and was playing with her multi-colored mane.

“Um...okay...one more question,” she stopped rubbing her head and gained a nervous expression, “why is my wristband wet?” I pulled out the band and held it in front of her muzzle.

“Oh...um...I...um...” She darted her eye’s between me and the wristband before she flew out of the room, her breeze closing the door behind her.

I dropped my head and gave an exasperated sigh. I put my band back in my pocket and went back to the breakfast car only to see that Jeff and Ed were the only ones there.

“Hey San.” Jeff waved his hand at me.

“Hello sinner,” Ed looked at me with hate in his eyes. Pfft, I’m totally hurt.

“Not really in the mood for your crab bullshit Ed.”

“What!? Did you just insult the crustacea-” Ed was silenced by an apple being shoved into his mouth.

“Sorry Ed you really need to shut up, anyway have you guys noticed that all the mares started acting weird when there’s this weird smell?” Jeff questioned and put his hand on his chin.

“Actually, I just caught Rainbow with my wristbands and I have a good idea of what she did with one of them.”

“What?”

I pulled my wristband out of my pocket and tossed it onto a table that was next to them. They both looked at it, Ed still having the apple in his mouth. After a while I saw them cringe a bit at the smell.

“What the hell is that smell!?” Jeff held his nose. Ed was...sniffing it? The fuck?

“You don’t wanna know.” I grabbed it but not before Ed grabbed my arm and kept sniffing it. “How is he still alive?”

He spit out the apple and proceed to state what he always does. “It reeks of heresy. Did the Gods curse you for not believing?”

“No.” I pulled my arm away from him and put it back in my pocket. “Rainbow was using it for her session.”

“What do you mean by session?”

I shook my head and face palmed before looking back at them. “She used it while she was playing with herself.” And just like the immature little bastards that they were, they erupted into laughter.

“Did you...enjoy...the view!?” Jeff asked in between outbursts.

Seriously, they thought that I was giving a shit. “I didn't see her doing it, she was under the covers or something...maybe a little...but at least I've actually seen it.”

Jeff stopped laughing and looked at me with a serious expression, “dude, that's fucked up.”

“HERESY! Why do you even like these creatures?” Ed almost gagged.

“What!? What made you think that I like her!?”

“I don't know...but it sounded like she stopped herself, after she noticed you were looking at her.”

“No shit Sherlock.” I saw Ed start to say something but stopped with an interjecting finger. “If you say anything, that involves a crab going into her I will rip your eyes out.”

“Oh sounds like someone cares about their mare,” Jeff smirked.

I shot him my usual death glare and he just shrugged. “Whatever, as if you've ever gotten any.”

“Hey man that’s not funny. I don’t know if Cloudchaser likes me or not.” Are you freaking kidding me!?

“You really think that she doesn't? God, you’re even more naive than Ed.” When I looked over at Ed, I began to have a second thought since he had a live crab...on his tongue. “Okay, maybe not as naive as him, but you get the point.”

“What...you...mean...how?”

“Hey, you wanna be scared of rejection be my guest, but at least I understand my emotions and know my place...unlike some of us.” I saw Ed with two more crabs in his hand and they were pinching his palm while he laughed like an idiot. “Where did he get those?”

“Yeah sorry man...you know what, I’m going to tell her when we get to the hotel.”

“Might as well, I mean the worst thing that could happen is that she rejects you.” I threw my hands into my pockets, something that I’ve found doing a lot lately. “So When will we get there?”

Jeff checked his watch and looked back to me, “In about ten minutes. Should I get the girls?”

“Nah, just go pack. We’ll find them when we get off of the train.” I walked back towards my room and began packing up everything that I had brought, it wasn't much really just my phone, a pair of earbuds, and two changes of clothes(not including the change that I was wearing).

After I finished I just waited on my bed while I heard fumbling around in the other rooms. “Why do they always bring an ass load of stuff on vacations.” Well technically this wasn't a vacation, since we were going there for a going away party for Cloudchaser and Rainbow and...because of the stupid Heatathong. Who signed us up anyway!? All I remember was getting a notice for all three of us in the mail saying that we were in it. I don’t even know the goddamn rules! And I’m not even sure if Jeff knows that we’re in, I remember showing them to Ed, but he was too busy mumbling something about a boiling crab up someone’s ass.

“Hey San we’re about to arrive to Manehattan. Look out the window.” Jeff had walked into my room and he was pointing at the window.

I got up and look through it, and sure enough I could see Manehattan and I could just tell that I would have to deal with arrogant snobs. It was bad enough that I had to deal with a crustacean obsessed whack job, a confused loverboy, and an arrogant athlete.

“I guess i’ll just have to deal with it.” I gave an exasperated sigh and walked out of the room, waiting for us to get to the train station. Although there was one thing that was odd...I couldn't find Rainbow Dash.