Haters Gonna Hate

Chapter One: What Anger Leads To

Across the Internet, there's a meme: Haters Gonna Hate.

Some website offers the following definition of a Hater: "A person that simply cannot be happy for another person's success. Instead of giving acknowledgment in courtesy, a hater often pursues his/her point by exposing a flaw in the target subject…The hater doesn't really want to be the person he or she hates, rather the hater wants to knock someone else down a notch."

By that definition, I'm a Hater.

I fucking hate My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

I have no idea why.

By all means, I should be one of this shows biggest fans, which is saying something, despite a healthy portion of the fanbase being men over the age of innocence. This is shocking, since the show is directed towards little girls, but, after watching a few episodes, you can see why. It's beautifully animated, written, and acted out. The stories are fun, the jokes make sense and aren't too corny, and the characters are likable, since they're not constantly shoving friendship down the viewer's throat.

So why the Gak do I hate this show so much?

Every time I see, hear, or read something related to Ponydom, I get the urge to put my fist through a wall, vomit in the hole, and then take a massive dump down said hole before repeating the process. I enter a Karkat-esque madness, espousing nothing but pure, irreconcilable hate towards the franchise and it's characters. There's no reason, no sense behind-It just opens a fountain of Haterade in me that, if left uncapped, tends to end up with me flipping a table or doing something else stupid and violent.

But why?

I don't understand what triggers it. Normally, I can be respectful when it comes to another topic I don't like, but for some reason, Ponydom grinds my gears. Even the thought of the words My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic causes my skin to crawl. Just that last sentence made me cringe; that's how bad it is. There's no logic behind it-it's just hate. Pure, unadulterated, unquenchable, unfathomable, HATE.

I'm such a Hater. And the following events prove why that fucking Pony show has it coming from a mile away.

Don't believe me? It started like this…

~!~

Normally, when I wake up, it's to the buzz of my alarm clock, and my roomie grunting a query about whether or not I'm off to the gym. This is usually the case, since I wouldn't bother waking up before ten anyway. I'll take my head from my comfy pillow and egress from the warm, cozy bed I slumber in, cross the floor, put on my running shoes, and head to the gym.

The one time this didn't happen, I had the worst fucking day of my life.

First, I didn't wake up in a bed. I woke up on a cold wooden floor. There was a stink of chemicals in the air, but I don't have the scientific know-how to tell you which. Whatever they were they were toxic enough to make my waking eyes water, and I coughed.

But not out of my mouth. Out of a muzzle.

Yes. A muzzle. Not a human mouth. A horse-like muzzle.

My eyes flew open in horror and I tried to get to my feet. Oh, wait, I didn't have feet. I had fucking bizarre legs. Four of them.

'No", I thought, and, somehow, my thoughts snuck down into my mouth and started being audible. "Nononono. This isn't happening."

Oh, but it was. I stepped back, the clopping of my (Hnngh) hooves (God that hurts to say) against the hardwood floor the only sound. As the dark clouds of toxic crap around me began to thin, I could make out a dark blue nose, and I felt my wings extend in-

What the fuck.

WINGS?

WHAT THE FUCK? 'Fuck fuck fuck this isn't happening this is a nightmare yes that's what it is fuck WHY WON'T I WAKE UP WAKE ME UP SOMEONE WAKE ME THE FUCK UP RIGHT NOW!

I wasn't waking up. This was no nightmare. I looked around as the smoke cleared. I was hyperventilating at this point-My eyes were probably the size of dinner plates as I swung my new head around. Something was lashing against my face as I moved. Hair? Oh, right it was a MANE. As if this couldn't get fucking better.

There was a bucket to my left. I dived forward, stumbling as I tried to run on four legs, despite not even knowing how to walk like a quadruped. Which, if I was right, I really fucking hoped I wasn't…

I reached the bucket, and tilted that bastard to look me in the eye.

A pony with a dark blue coat, my eyes, and a mane of black that was only broken by a streak of dark blue looked horrified back to me, pupils shrinking in total terror as the reality of the complete fuckery I had just woken into settled in, kicking out the last vestiges of denial, and, with it, hope.

I was a pony. A My Little Pony.

I threw back my head, the bucket tipping onto the floor, and roared out a vehement and vibrant mixture of undying rage that rang off of the walls, reverberating throughout the building and compounding my rage.

Fuck my life. Seriously.

I lowered my head before I blacked out, gasping in horror as I looked into the puddle. Amidst the rippling water, that pony face stared back at me, aghast.

I felt violated. I was a pony-A MY LITTLE PONY. This shit doesn't happen, it just DOESN'T. This isn't a fanfiction. This isn't one of my stupid ideas that I spilled onto a page and that Kagetora no Tsume(A beloved critic of my work, bless her) will hate on me for later-This was HAPPENING. I was a PONY.

I needed to break something. I settled for the bucket.

I lowered my head, roaring in fury, and swung hard, the bucket flying across the room into a stack of books. They blasted apart like pins in an alley after a strike, flying every which way as I kicked and screamed out my rage.

I tore that place up. I don't know for how long I was at it, but, by the end, I looked around, my shoulders heaving and my head hanging low, teeth bared as I gasped for oxygen. Tables were flipped, books were wrecked, and I was sure I'd blown up something.

I wish I'd had a camera; I would look back on that moment with pride.

See, unbeknownst to me, I had just utterly WASTED the main room of a domicile that belonged to one (don'twanttotypethisdon'tmakemetypethis) TwilightSparkle (GAH), who shall hereafter be referred to as TS.

I can only bring myself to say something THAT stupid so many times, people. Even I have my limits.

I heard the noise of a book falling to the floor, and my head flashed around.

There she was.

TS was looking back at me, one leg reaching for the door, her size having bumped into a table and knocked a book to the floor. She'd been trying to escape, the bitch. But the look she was giving me would stay with me forever. No one has looked at me that way ever, and honestly, I hope they never will again.

It was terror like you've only seen in horror movies, or the kind you've felt when a knife-wielding psycho is inches away from spilling out your intestines across a dark alley at night, and there's no one around to save you. It's the terror that comes from having your life in danger, and you think, "This is it. I'm about to die". Your life plays out before you, and you want to scream, but the look conveys all that in a second.

TS was afraid. She was fucking right to.

"YOU!" I roared, and, faster than I've ever moved before, I had crossed the room and pinned her against the wall by her throat, a leg pressing her up against the wall as I bared my teeth in a feral snarl, a growl rumbling from my throat as I flared my wings (FUCKING WINGS WHAT THE FUCK WHY DO I HAVE THESE) in furious anger. "YOU DID THIS, DIDN'T YOU!"

Her mouth opened hard for breath, but she squeezed out a rapid nod. I pressed a little harder. I wasn't scared-Every bit of fear and terror and violation had transmuted into a monstrosity of rage that took over every sense in my body, and controlled every motion I had, all of it focused on this terrified purple pony.

Someone pass me a Red Lantern ring.

"FIX IT!" I yelled, not sparing any space, "NOW!" I was vaguely aware of some sort of crackling behind my, the hairs of my coat (HNNG SO WRONG) raising, as if there was static in the air. Did I knock over a wire or something? Do they even HAVE electricity? Hell, I dunno.

TS gasped for breath. "I-I CAN'T-" She was wheezing now. I was probably killing her.

I didn't let go just yet.

"DO IT!"

"I CAN'T!"

"WHY!"

"I DON'T-" TS' eyes were rolling into the back of her head with every wheezed breath. "I DON'T KNOW-DON' T KNOW HOW!"

With a roar of frustration, I released her, the purple pony falling to the floor, gasping for breath.

I was gasping just as hard as I watched her. She looked at me after a moment, but didn't raise her head. There were some tears in her eyes, probably from what had just happened. It was night, I guess, because there was no light outside, just within. That's probably how I looked so ominous, casting a shadow over her as she lay there, helpless and trying to catch her breath.

My eyes watched hers for a trace of a lie, of deceit, something to feed my rage-No, my hope.

It never came.

I felt like I was going to vomit.

"You-You can't." I finally said after god knows how long. TS shook her head weakly in response, raising her head a little as she closed her mouth.

I brought my right hoof down, feeling it crash into the hardwood, and threw back my head in a roar again, and she ducked once more, covering her head with her hooves.

I drew this one out for a while, and I was vaguely aware of that static feeling returning, and then I saw them from behind my closed eyelids-Flashes of light. Brief, but brilliant, I didn't open my eyes to see what was causing them, or the noise of books flying and wood splintering around me. I drew out my grief and pain as long as I could in that howl before I felt my legs give, and my neck with it.

I just lay there, panting, and the small of burned wood caught my nose. I didn't care enough to look and see. I was drowning in pure misery and loss. Not loss like death, but the loss of control, of reality, of everything I ever had.

I opened my eyes and looked up at a terrified TS, who was looking back at me. I finally raised my head and took a look around.

Jesus Christ, did I do that?

I knew I'd trashed the place earlier, but with nothing that would have left books in half with smoldering edges. Nothing I'd done during my first moments of rage could have left scorch marks the size of car tires across the floor.

My head slowly turned back to TS. Her breath caught and I saw her eyes quiver in horror. Mine, though, were steady and set, though they were rimmed with a fair few tears that made their way down my cheeks. I was mad as hell, yeah, but, more than that, I was scared.

Finally I found my voice, and, despite my steady glare, which kept her pinned to the wall, I felt it shake in me like a rock in a landslide. "What have you DONE to me!"

She could only stutter in response, shaking from head to tail as she tried to speak. "I-I…I don't…"

"Don't what?" I growled. I was too tired to attack her again, too miserable. But I was still mad as hell, and I wasn't going to take this shit lying down. I raised myself off of my hindquarters and stood before her, feeling my wings (Geez that's wrong) fold to my side.

"I-I thought I was-"

"Was what? Spit it out, dammit!"

"You-You look-"

"WHAT?"

"You look like…Rainbow Dash…"

Pop quiz: Guess which pony I can't stand the MOST?

Maybe it's her obnoxious personality or something, but to me, Rainbow Dash is "The Pony That Shall Not Be Named". Hell, I can't stand most of their names, but for some reason, The One is at the epicenter of my hatred for the show.

Rage came back like it was a bad habit and I roared again, standing up on my hind legs and planting my forelegs on either side of TS' head, the latter giving a quick scream of terror as her pupils shrunk further. She was back in my shadow again, and her eyes were trembling as they looked back at mine. I don't know how I can glare at someone with tearful eyes, but I did it. "WHAT. DID. YOU. DO TO ME?" Each word escalated in volume until I felt them explode out of me, and I saw her eyes close tight, her entire body shaking like a leaf in a hurricane.

At that moment, I'm sure she would have rather been the leaf.

Her salvation came as someone kicked open the door, and we turned to see who had decided to trespass into TS' home.

I felt my stomach churn as more proof that someone upstairs hates my guts took a few steps into the room, gasping as she took in the damage before her green eyes finally landed on TS and I, the latter keeping the former pinned as my eyes narrowed in rage.

Applejack looked just like she always did-Hat, long mane, tanned coat-but gathering from the small puddle she was tracking, a storm was brewing outside the doors. Her mane was clumped and wet, but that didn't stop her from getting over her shock long enough to plant herself between me and the exit. "Awright, Dash, this ain't funny no more!" She snapped at me, and I felt a geyser of rage burst in me for a moment as I stepped down, planting my own hooves on the ground and letting my wings spread a little.

Not that I knew the first damn thing about using them. Seriously, they were wings. People don't have those; I wouldn't even know where to begin figuring these things out.

"I'm not Dash," I snarled, and I felt my nostrils flare. Applejack looked me over again, blinking.

"Naw, ya ain't," Applejack said, keeping her eyes on me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw TS sit up onto her hindquarters, wiping a few fearful tears from her face. Applejack didn't seem scared in the least, determined on staying between me and my egress. It was like a Wild West showdown, but without the awesome dusters and revolvers that would have made this shit cool.

That, and the fact we were both ponies kind of killed that.

"Sorry 'bout that," Applejack said, pawing at the wood, ready to strike, "But it don't help YOU none, pony. I ain't too fond of ponies who wreck mah friends homes and start hollerin' at em fer no 'parent reason!"

"Wow, listen to you, using all those big words," I snapped, lowering my head, "Now get out of my way." Fuck all this shit, I was leaving. I was mad, I was pissed, I was tired, and I was a PONY. I needed some TLC and a therapist, not a fight with the country bumpkin.

Applejack's green eyes narrowed. I'm not sure if it was the intelligence comment or just my bad attitude, but it certainly wasn't going to make her add me on Facebook. "Yer leavin' over mah smolderin' hat, mister!"

"That," I said, feeling a merciless sneer split my face, "Can be arranged." I moved like lightning, and heard the crack as I crossed the room in a few steps. Applejack's eyes widened and then shut tight as I barreled into her, swinging my weight into the pony. I heard her crash into a pile of books, but kept going.

I wasn't bout to drag this damn day out any more than I had to.

I got the feeling it was the early morning hours, those sorts of hours when people are out and about doing things they should or going to work extremely early. I couldn't tell, though-The storm that was raging overhead was pretty damn dark, blocking out any sign I possibly had of determining time.

I felt like it followed me all the way through the town, and into the woods.

I didn't even try flying-Like I said, I don't know the first damn thing about the use of wings. Not on planes, and not on ponies. Then again, my mind wasn't exactly pondering flight and trying to remember Da Vinci's machine and how it worked. It was buzzing like crazy, a haze of thoughts that formed into a second storm in my mind, loud enough to blot out the first.

Soaked to the bone and tired, I collapsed into a heap god-knows how later under a towering tree, but even it couldn't keep the rain off of me. My chest heaved and my eyelids drooped as my chest burned, my legs feeling like jelly. Tiredly, I curled up in a small ball, feeling something on my face that wasn't rain as the weight of my eyelids became too much for my tired body to stand.

The last thing I was aware of doing before darkness consumed everything around me with a roll of thunder was speaking one sentence to no one, through my chattering teeth, soaked coat, and aching muscles.

I bared my shivering teeth at the world and growled. "F-f-fucking Ponies." And fell into a trembling, rain-soaked sleep, thunder and lighting roaring overhead as I passed out.

They say Haters Gonna Hate. At that moment, I'd never hated anything so much in my entire life.