Awkward Situations

Jack's arrival at Cheerilee's house was somewhat less than professional; upon broke the doorbell while ringing it. When the door was opened, he smashed his head on the way in and almost cursed his heart out. Cheerilee just smiled uncomfortably and dismissed it.

"Why don't you make yourself at home and I'll let you know when dinner's ready?" She offered.

"Alright." Jack agreed, still rubbing his head. The inside of Cheerilee's house was moderately humble. A small living room with a single sofa and a little coffee table at the front of it. Pinkish curtains were draped down each of the windows and a small bowl of what looked like chocolate sat on a nightstand at the end of the sofa.

"Whoa!" Jack whispered to himself. "I love chocolate!" Jack rushed to the nightstand and ripped a chocolate out of the bowl. A cylindrical roll of brown. He took a bite. "HOLY SHIT!" He shout/whispered. "THERE'S PEANUT BUTTER IN THESE!!" He grabbed another and ate it. Before grabbing another one, Jack thought. "Oh! I got it!" He grabbed a large handful of the chocolate and began mushing them in the palm of his hand. Once the mass of chocolate was completely flat, jack rolled it into a tube.

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"Alright, Jack. Dinner is just about re- What are you eating?" Cheerilee was staring at my chocolate.

"Uh, burrito."

"Why is it black?" She asked with a more disgusted tone.

"Because it was made with love."

"I-.. Uh.. Alright! Let's get to dinner then!" I quickly downed the rest of my 'burrito' on the way into the dining room. Once I had entered, I noticed a lighter blue pegasus stallion with a slicked back navy blue mane sitting at the table. "Oh! Jack, this is my husband, Celsius. Celsius, this is Jack." Celsius got up and held out his hoof and I grabbed it and shook.

"Pleasant to make your acquaintance." He said in a very educated mannor.

"And to you." I replied.

The three of us sat down at the table and I got a chance to look over the spread in front of me. Cheesy mashed potatoes, a large tub of green beans, a bowl of buttered biscuits, and a tin of cornbread. I was happy and grateful for Cheerilee's hospitality, and her cooking looked great. But I still wish I could eat meat again. The last time I had it was back at Zecora's... Well, I didn't like being locked in a little room all day. I could manage without meat.

"Why don't we all dig in?" Cheerilee directed. We all began scooping up plates of the different foods within our reach. I, myself, scooped a good helping of the cheesy potatoes and a chunk of cornbread. I tried to stray away from the green beans and other more plant food. I'd been eating just plants for the past day or two and I wasn't feeling right.

"So, Jack." Celsius began. "What do you do for a living?" I thought it was a pretty dumb question, but I thought it was cool that he assumed that a giant monster thing like me had a job.

"I kill things." Celsius was clearly disturbed by that. Cheerilee was too, but was much more interested in continuing the conversation than her husband.

"What things do you, um.. Kill?" Cheerilee asked.

"Very large or dangerous animals: Manticore, Cockatrice, Hydra, a couple of diamond dogs once. They wandered into the forest and tried stealing one of Zecora's necklaces. I'm her body guard."

"Oh." Cheerilee said.

"Yeah. It's a pretty descent job. I keep her safe, she gives me a place to eat and sleep. Nice trade." A moment of silence passed afterward. Celsius was sort of staring at his plate blankly; he didn't really seem to be all there. A few pokes of his potatoes later, he looked up at me.

"um... Have you, uh. Have you ever killed a pony?" The blue, pegasus stallion looked almost scared.

"No. I think It'd be pretty easy though, uh..." I leaned over and sat the palm of my hand on top of Cheerilee's head, making her pupil's shrink. I was able to reach my fingers down as far as her chin. "Yeah... Probably crush a full grown pony's skull in my hand." I pulled my hand off and she seemed to relax. "Never done it... But I could..." I sort of spaced out myself.

"Okay! Let's get off of the subject of 'Death', shall we?" Cheerilee interrupted darker thoughts.

"Good. Uh, where are you from?" Celsius asked.

"...Not an easy question to answer.... I don't know." I said. Even though I said I wasn't sad about it, the more I thought about where I came from was beginning to bother me. "Where do you come from?" I asked. Celsius seemed a bit amused by the question.

"I'd think that It'd be pretty obvious; me being a pegasus and all." He chuckled.

"Not obvious at all." I replied. Cheerilee nudged her husband from across the table. I could saw the lights click on in his head.

"Oh!" They'd obviously talked of my not ever being in Equestria before, before I'd arrived for diner. "I was born and raised in Cloudsdale. It's this happy little city completely made out of clouds that floats in the sky."

"That sounds pretty freakin' cool." I said. We all let a few more minutes of silence pass again. Cheerilee and Celsius dug into their food, while I sort of poked at it in disgust like a student having to dissect a frog in biology class. Before either of the two had a chance to notice this, I spoke.

"Hey, do you have a restroom I could use?" I asked. Cheerilee finished chewing the potatoes she was eating, then answered.

"Second door to the right." She said while pointing down a hallway.

"Thanks."

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While Jack left the room, Cheerilee and Celsius took the opportunity to discuss how their meal was going so far.

"He's insane." Celsius said to his wife.

"No, he's not." Cheerilee replied

"He put his giant hand over your head to decide whether or not he could kill a pony!" He shout/whispered.

"He just doesn't know much about how we as a species live. And I'm sure he didn't know that what he did was considered creepy and scary."

"I don't like him." Celsius folded his forelegs together.

"Just give him a chance." Cheerilee prodded. Celsius was silent. "Celsius." She got up from her seat. Her husband remained silent. "Ceeellsiuuuusss." She giggled as she came up behind her lover and wrapped her hooves around his neck. Celsius was trying his darnedest to conceal the smile that was forming on his lips. "Celsius... Celsius. Stop being grouchy." She whispered as she nuzzled him in his neck.

"Heh.. Hehe." He chuckled slightly.

"Stop being a grouch. Celsius." She burrowed her face into her husband's neck.

"Haha! Alright, alright!" He laughed. "You win!"

"Good." She said. "All I'm wanting you to do is get to know him a little bit. Show him your work or do something with him. Maybe visit with him at his home."

".....Alright." Celsius sighed. "I'll-"

"HEY, YOUR TOILET HAS WATER THAT SWIRLS AROUND WHEN I PUSH THIS LEVER THING!! I'M USED TO JUST USING A HOLE IN THE GROUND!!!" Jack screamed from the bathroom.

"I'll sure try." Celsius huffed.

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A few minutes after leaving the wonderland she called a bathroom, Cheerilee walked me to the exit.

"Thank you for having dinner with us, Jack. It was... Interesting, to say the least." She said.

"Hey, thanks for inviting me. You and your husband seem like a nice pair." Cheerliee smiled.

"Thank you." She said. I turned to leave, but was stopped before I could.

"Oh! I almost forgot! Celsius has agreed to spend the day with you tomorrow. He says that he'd like to get to know you better."

"That sounds like a cool idea." I said.

"Well, goodnight, Jack."

"Goodnight, Cheerilee. Thanks again for having me over."

"Thank you for coming." Soon afterward, the door was quietly closed behind me and I was on my way back to Twilight's house.

"I think that went pretty well." I said to myself. I stopped and took a look at my unfamiliar surroundings and thought for a moment. "How the hell do you get back to the library from here?"