Awkward Situations

"Okay, Jack. I have a lunch packed for you this brown bag here," Twilight said whilst holding a bag in her magic. "And this new pair of shoes for you, because I noticed that your feet were cut up." I lifted a foot to get a good look at the bottom. It had nasty scars and scrapes and a few scabs here and there. I didn't really think a lot of it, but Twilight did. I smiled to her.

"Thank you, Twilight." I said as I pulled her into a hug. Twilight wrapped her wings around me in a return hug. It felt really weird!... But very nice.

"You have a good day."

"I will."

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Sweetie Belle merrily skipped to her friend, Twilight's house. It was a beautiful Monday morning and the eager filly was on her way to pick up her new friend, Jack, for a sort of 'Show and Tell' for her classmates at school.

As Sweetie Belle opened the door to Twilight's house, she noticed the purple alicorn hugging Jack.

"You have a good day." Twilight said.

"I will." Jack replied.

"Hi, Twilight! Hi Jack!" Sweetie Belle cheered. Jack swung his head to the side and met her giant smile with his own.

"Sweetie Belle! You ready for school!?"

"Yeah! Are you!?"

"YEAH!"

"YEAH!" Jack and Sweetie Belle circled the room several times just screaming 'YEAH' at each other.

"Alright! Alright! Enough screaming! You two will be late if you don't get moving." Twilight pushed playfully.

"Okay, let's go Sweetie!"

"Okay!" The large human and small filly ran out the door together.

"Bye, mom!" Jack said just before slamming the door. A very confused Twilight was left in the middle of the library wearing a slight grin that slowly evolved into a curious frown.

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Sweetie Belle and I headed up the side of a hill towards what looked like a stereotypical school house. Sweetie Belle galloped to the front of me and stopped me in my tracks.

"First, I have to give you some rules." She said in a serious tone. With her eyes narrowed and her stance solid, I tried my hardest not to lose it over how much more adorable this composure made her look.

"What would those be?" I asked.

"I already talked to my teacher, and she wrote some things down for me."

"Okay?" Sweetie Belle then proceeded to pull a list out of seemingly nowhere and read it to me.

"'No threats, no scary talk, no weapons, no frightening approaches, and no singing."

"Singing?"

"Yes." She stood there with her professional demeanor still in tact.

"Why? What if I want to go in there and start singing 'Low rider'?" I demanded, smiling.

"This one kid brought somepony in that was singing a nasty sounding opera song an- wait... Low what?"

"Oh, 'Low rider'. It's this one song that I heard back in-.... College... I'm. not... seeing it anymore."

"Jack, are you okay?" I was snapped out of my daze. I had my hand pressed to my forehead and was crouched, almost sitting. I had a slight headache.

"I'm fine. I'm fine... Let's get going to your school. We've got a lot to show them!

Sweetie Belle and I entered the school house and the first thing that I noticed was the immense amount of house pets. The next thing I noticed was the message on the chalkboard in big letters that read: 'Bring your pet to school day!' I looked down at Sweetie Belle and was met with an awkward smile.

"What is this?! I thought you said it was a 'friend day' or something! I'm not your pet!" I was pretty irritated.

"I know! I know! But I was just so excited to show you to everypony... And I wanted to let everyone know how great you were and 'pet day' came up on the board yesterday..."

"We met each other yesterday."

"I know! I was going to bring Opal, but then I remembered that she hates me, and then I met you!" Her story trailed off a bit, but she sounded sincere and was giving me the puppy dog eyes. "Please let me show you off!"

"....ugh... Fine! But I'm still not a pet!"

"Yay!"

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It had been a solid hour since Jack had entered Sweetie Belle's school, and so many fillies and colts had shown their pets. Jack noticed the pink and purple filly, that Sweetie Belle had told him of, had brought her poodle in to show everyone. She tried passing her dog off like it was the holy grail! And it made him sick.

"Alright! We've all seen everypony's wonderful pets! But now we have a special guest that Sweetie Belle brought to school today! Sweetie Belle?" Cheerilee called. Jack had been sitting in the back of the classroom on a ridiculously tiny chair. He'd been receiving stares from every little foal in the room, and he was happier than ever when Sweetie stood up and waved from him to follow her. The two met at the front of the classroom.

"Alright, Sweetie Belle. Introduce yourself and your friends here and you can begin." Cheerilee instructed.

"Hi, everypony! My name is Sweetie Belle and I have my friend Jack here to show off today!" All eyes were on Jack... Well, all eyes had been on Jack for the entire time he was there, but now they were extra on him. "He's a human! The only human I've ever seen and he said he'd answer any questions for you!" Immediately, everyone's hoof flew into the air and Jack was left speechless. After a moment, he pointed to a little, grey unicorn, filly with a golden mane.

"How much do you weigh?" She asked.

"Uh, Zecora told me that I'm about two hundred pounds." The fillies and colts murmured amongst themselves for a moment.

"Wow!" Cheerilee said. "You weight more than Celestia!" She said more to the class than to Jack. Jack dismissed the fact that he didn't know who Cheerilee was talking about and moved on to another question. A chubbier looking colt with a black mane was next.

"What do you do? Like work?" Jack looked to Cheerilee before answering.

"I make bad things go away. I protect ponies."

"Good choice of words." Cheerilee little more than whispered. A grey filly towards the front of the room with a silver mane was the next to be called on.

"So, why are you and Sweetie Belle here such good friends?" Jack initially ignored her tone and moved on to the answer.

"Uh, I used to live in the Everfree Forest and Sweetie ended up walking in and finding me. Since I had never left the forest, when she offered I accepted. And now we're friends." Jack bent down to hoof/fist bump his unicorn besty. A pink pony with a grey and white mane carried on the conversation.

"So, you're her pet now?" She asked sarcastically.

"No."

"From the way you look, you must be her pet. Or her servant, maybe?" The silver one rebounded.

"I bet this was the only way he'd be able to get into a school!"

"I bet this is the first time he's been to school." They both giggled in their supposed triumph.

"Actually, I earned a masters degree in literary arts." Jack interrupted.

"Oh! What school did you go to? Fillydelphia Community College? Manehattan University? Canterlot School of Arts?" Cheerilee asked.

"No, Univeristy of Mic... Michigan. Okay, I've been getting little fragments of crap in my head lately and it's pretty annoying!" Jack barely shouted.

"Yeah, you sound sooo literary! 'Fragments of crap'!" The two fillies laughed again.

"Those who find pleasure in causing pain

Are those left alone in the pouring rain

By those of which they'd been hurting for years

And that time alone brings on their own tears

So, for those who enjoy seeing others' plight

Take a step back and look at your life

Do not conspire

Do not discriminate

Resentful actions, you must retire

And make amends before it's to late

Extinguish your fire,

Your fire of hate."

The two fillies that were so eager to make Jack look stupid were made themselves look stupid instead. Everyone had their attention focused on either Jack or the two girls in front.

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So, I just basically beat the living shit out of two little girls with my vocabulary. It felt good. But the kind of good you get when you beat someone up who ends up being you apprentice later on. A minute after I said all that, Cheerilee starts clapping for me! And the whole class joined in! The school bell rung a few minutes later and the students rushed out. The two I mangled with words were much slower to leave.

"That was very well thought out and delivered in such a short amount of time!" Cheerilee praised.

"Well, thank you, I try." I replied.

"I'd really enjoy it if I could have the opportunity to talk with you on subjects like these. Maybe get some new teaching methods?" I looked down to Sweetie Belle who nodded with a gleeful smile.

"Alright."

"Oh! Wonderful! How about we discuss this over dinner?"

"Alright."

"Oh, good! Well it was a pleasure meeting you, Mr. Jack! I'll see you tonight, then." Sweetie and I left the school house together.

"I think they liked you!" Sweetie said.

"Really?" I looked back at the school. "Nawww. No way!"