Equestria Girls 2: Fedora Men

Twilight didn’t expect herself to find the trip through the mirror to give her this reaction again, it wasn't her first cross-dimensional trip yet it somehow still caused her legs to ache, all four of them. This suddenly caused Twilight to observe her new surroundings even more, last time she traveled she had 2 legs, however this time her physical body felt unchanged, albeit with no wings and without her precious horn. This eerie feeling of unfamiliarity was interrupted by the delightful yet somehow haunting laugh of a nearby voice, the childish laughing drew closer to her until it was revealed to be a rather large "man" wearing a shirt which showed Fluttershy's face, though it was heavily obscured by yellow dust and liquid stains.

The creature ran up to Twilight and with childlike glee he said "Oh my Celestia you're real, buck the haters lol. I'll look after you baby, I've loved you since you stood up to Nightmare Moon."

Twilight had trouble processing all of this new information though it cleared the obscurity; it felt like a weight had been lifted only to be replaced by a much heavier one which smelled of processed cheese.

"I appreciate the offer," Twilight was trying to sound polite in what was essentially a rejection "but I'm sure I'll find my own way around, plus I'm on a mission from Princess Celestia."

The man broke down into tears to only say "Implying you have a choice, shiggity diggity."

That was all Twilight listened to as the man grabbed her and put her to sleep telling her of his Spike X Rarity fan fic which he titled 'It's A Rarity To Drag On'.

Twilight awoke in a strange location, completely foreign to her, it reminded her of the dungeon in Canterlot castle but it was somehow more depressing and littered. The only source of light present in this room was the glow of a monitor with music Twilight was all too familiar with playing; Pinkie Pie singing her Giggle At The Ghosties song, despite the message of the song Twilight had nothing to giggle about, only the horror of waking up in a mysterious place after meeting the strange man earlier.


“Best pony is awake”, the man from earlier spoke this from directly behind her, “I was just staring at your beautiful cutie mark”, Twilight shivered upon hearing this, she somehow longed for her mundane life in Equestria.

The man from before introduced himself, “You can call me Thunder Strike, it’s my OC’s name, I’m an alicorn myself just like you, though I have bat wings and my horn broke when I was defeating Discord after he broke free again.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me...” Twilight exclaimed though it fell on deaf ears.

The man continued to talk about their plans but Twilight was trying to think of ways to escape, the door at the top of the stairs was locked and without magic she figured she was unable to break through it.

Thunder Strike stepped forward and in the new light it was very evident that he was still wearing the same stained Fluttershy shirt, however this time he was wearing a fedora of some kind and had a cane in one of this hands, though it was clear he didn’t require it to walk.

“I know how much you love songs so I’ll show you my feelings via song, it’ll be bucking cool like you are.” He took one step backwards and played an instrumental song which didn’t follow his beat as he began to sing.

“When I was young I was teased,

Everyone treated me how they pleased.

I was hated and felt depressed,

Then you came, you know the rest.

I loved you for years and want you,

You plus me equals two.

You complete my life,

And you'll be my wife.

I need you like a janitor needs a mop,

Tonight I won't even need to clop.

So love me as I do you Twilight,

We'll be happy, you know I'm right.”

Twilight was repulsed by what the man had been saying, she knew she had to leave but waited for the right opportunity, however after a few minutes of spouting his crush on Twilight, he finally turned his back so he could tell his friends on Facebook about his new pony, even his Facebook layout was ponifed.

“I’ll have to change Ponyhoof to Twilight, I put it on The Great And Powerful Trixie lately, Twixie is my favourite ship, except for TwiDash, Molestia and Twilight and Twilight X Future Twilight.”

However as he turned his back from his computer to tell this to his new pony “friend”, she was already in the process of unlocking the door upon the top of the stairs.

“Where do you think you’re going? The fun is down here with me.” His voice changed to a very serious tone.

This only caused Twilight to try and open the door faster, however door handles and locks are hard to operate with hooves and no magic, it was like foreplay with a Nintendo 64 analog stick that had been overused and lost its self-centering.

However despite her best efforts Thunder Strike still grabbed her by the back hooves and made sure to properly restrain her, he somehow had a collar and leash in this room but there was no evidence of any pets. Twilight cried after realizing that her life as she knew it was essentially over, however this was only the start of what was to come.